MM

I've notified the LK Group that emails to them are going unanswered. Unfortunately, the person who can resolve the issue is off today. I'll follow up on the problem.

Sorry to hear that. They asked me for a way to verify that requests were from FLB site members. I provided a very good way to do it, they completely ignored the procedure. I'll follow up on it this week and see what's up with them. See you in Oct!

It's in the original post. You'll have to type it in though. I eat there frequently and am a big user of his second hand book collection.

I agree with what kev0184 says. I've never had a problem barfining a girl at Coyotee's...and they are some of the best looking in town. They do take a bit of grooming to get their attention. Yes, that means buying lady drinks! And, it's refreshingly honest of Deano to come out and say (what is obvious to bar owners), that they are in business to sell drinks. No bar or gogo owner cares for the guys who treat the bar like a brothel, come in, point at a girl, bar fine her and go...all without buying her or himself a drink. People like that ought to go to Soi 6 or a soapy for that.

From looking at the website, what makes you think it's an LK Group development? I checked with some staff and they say it isn't an LK Group property, so it looks like you're on your own there. Did you ever get a reply from them? I've gone over the new system with them, so they should be on top of it now. BTW, I found the wine! Thanks!

Small Money for You: It’s been happening in ogling dens and some of the more popular beer boozers for years, but now it seems as though waiting staff in certain nosheries are following the boozing lead when it comes to simply pocketing customers change if they think they can get away with it. A couple of examples may suffice. The long-established Blue Parrot Mexican-means-farts noshery (Pattayaland Soi 2) serves pretty good stomach -fillers and some of the staff look to have been on the payroll since Pancho Villa was giving General Pershing the runs. On a recent visit my change came to 20 baht, but wasn’t proffered. When I had the temerity to ask for it, the note had to be retrieved from the tip box, much to the chagrin of the cashier. Not long before this, I went with two other people to the Seaside noshery (in the small lane between Soi 7 and Central Road). A good meal was had by all and after paying the bills one friend was due 10 baht in change and the other 15 baht. Neither amount appeared. Would the amounts mentioned above be left in tips? More than likely. So, the serving personnel would probably argue they don’t see a reason in offering the change if you’re going to give it anyway. That misses the point: it’s our money to give; not theirs to simply take. [Night-March] NOT BABIES, NOT DOLLS: The Baby Dolls ogling den (Soi 15, off Walking Street) changed ownership recently, but the new management have wisely retained the same format and style that made this a regular stop-off for most Fun Town flesh fanciers. This trio m Time for a New Scam: What the downturn in overall beer-swilling numbers means to the average serving wench in a boozer or noshery is a noticeable loss of income from tips. This may well have led to the rise of the following method of monetary extraction by way of false pretences. A local expat and regular bar hound believes there is a new scam whose methodology has been rapidly disseminated among the bar staff of boozers throughout Fun Town by the Steering Committee of the Chrome Pole Molesters Collective and Associated Fellow Travellers Union of Sweet Mouths and Wallet Emptiers. The scam is fairly simple and runs a little like the old shell game. As in every bar across the city a punter orders a drink, receives said beverage, and a bill is produced. On this bill the amount of the thirst-quencher will be far higher than it should. The punter may order a couple more libations, and, of course, a couple more bills are produced (at the higher price). When it comes time to pay, if the punter coughs up the amount on the bill, or bills, without question, the bar staff have had a result. If, instead, the punter checks the bill and queries the amount, or number of libations for which he is being charged, the serving wench or the cashier will apologise profusely and claim they’ve given out the wrong bill to the wrong person and, in fact, the said bill belongs to another customer. The bill is immediately rectified, the punter thinks an honest mistake has been made, and equilibrium is restored. Sound perfectly reasonable except if the precise same ‘mistake’ occurs five times in three days in five different boozers spread across Fun Town. This is what the expat claimed happened to him and, given some of the recent experiences of my own and other people I know, I have no doubt it’s going on all over the place. Padding bills is especially prevalent, for some reason, in beer boozers rather than ogling dens. Over the years I have rarely been told of customers complaining about padded bills in dens of the chrome pole, yet the same cannot be said of beer boozers. Part of the reason, of course, is beer boozers outnumber ogling dens on a ratio of about 10:1. One of the key induce-ments for people to come and work in a specific joint is the reputation it may have for the amount to be earned by way of the tip box. While the salary may be good it seems as though a lot of employees place a greater emphasis on their choice of place of employment on, first, how many friends are currently employed and, second, what amounts are usual in tips. Salary is only third on the list. So, given the downturn in business, new ways of padding the pockets (and robbing the customers and the owners of the boozers) have to be dreamt up. No Money for Light Bulbs: The iconic Walking Street sign has been gone for more than six months now and there is little indication of the much-touted super-duper replacement being finished before high season…in 2010. The multi-million baht ‘Pattaya city’ sign that overlooks the bay near the Bali-Hai port might look alright during the day, but at night it has been reduced to ‘attaya’. The light bulbs have all gone out on the ‘P’ and the ‘city’. I’m not suggesting the new mayor be bothered rushing down to Carrefour for a brace of 30-watt bulbs; I’d much rather the administration spent whatever moolah they have fixing a few potholes instead. Better Than A First Look Might Suggest: The Nui’s 2 den of the chrome pole (Walking Street) is one of the smaller examples of the art but it has certainly picked up in appeal as far as its overall quality of dancing damsels is concerned in recent times. This may have something to do with the closure of its sister operation Fun Room (Soi 15) and the rumoured imminent demise of another in the stable: Rock Girls. Whatever the reasons, Nui’s 2 is worth a visit with around 15-20 generally friendly chrome pole molesters and a happy hour until 10:00PM with draught amber fluid, house liver wasters, ly water, and Thai rotgut all at just 50 baht. Different Show, Same as the First: The World Wide ogling den (Soi 7) is one of the largest joints of its type in terms of floor space in Fun Town and has been doing a solid if not sensational trade for years. As with almost every other house of the chrome pole it offers a happy hour, although the pricing structure is not especially well-thought out with draught amber at 50 baht, bottled amber at 60 baht, and ly water for 65 baht. Although there are plenty of dancers it lacks any real ambience these days with not much to see in the way of uncovered flesh, compared with many other dens. It persists in a routine of the same boring and repetitive shows involving bits of coloured string appearing from within the confines of the baby-making factory, flowers appearing from a similar part of the anatomy, and all performed by the same two or three bored-looking exponents of the show art. These shows, most of which have long been ditched by the more progressive dens, seem to take place once every five minutes, adding to the boredom. Still a Slice of Heaven: The Heaven Above ogling den (Soi Diamond) continues to retain an air of consistency that to my mind keeps it among the better joints around. Relatively small in terms of space, it always has a brace of dancing damsels. While the vast majority are long-term practitioners of the art of wallet emptying, it’s a place that suits the punter who understands the ‘great game’ and plays by the rules, most of which are for the short term. I still think most of the music is drawn out of an aural trash can, but the chrome pole gyrators seem to appreciate it. The free style of dancing apparel, rather than a uniform approach, makes for an intriguing mix of colours and fashions, which I think adds to the overall appeal. One of the senior serving damsels showed me her collection of ping-pong balls, complete with a multitude of ‘sweet-mouth’ phrases and suggestive activities, most containing the word ‘cum’, written in marker pen on the outside. Now there’s someone with too much time on her hands. Ambience by the Water: Since it opened around April, the Pattaya Beer Garden, located down the side of the long-established Siren beer boozer complex -just before the entrance to Walking Street- is apparently doing good business. In the early part of the night it’s quiet with most punters filling their stomachs with items from the basic but fairly decent menu. Others are propping up the bar, watching the wide variety of music videos being shown on a number of screens scattered around the area. Libations are reasonably priced, but the only potential mattress companions are the odd freelancer who wanders into the area in search of a victim. The management have a sign, in English, stating freelancers are welcome. It’s a perfect place to take a damsel from a boozer, providing a terrific view over Pattaya Bay. The serving staff is friendly and efficient, and they bring your change back, no matter if it’s a piddling five baht or 500 baht. Out of the Rumour Mill: If there is one business almost guaranteed to kick-start the Fun Town property and tourism market back into life, albeit with a heavily predominant north Asian customer base, it would be the opening of a casino. There is a strong rumour suggesting the mob operating the opulent Venetian casino in Macau may have the inside running for a shot at putting together a similar venue here in Pattaya within the next two years. Personally, I think the rumour is wrong, but only in terms of the time frame. My bet is it will be at least another half a decade before we see the roulette wheels and blackjack tables become a legal reality in the maelstrom of Fun Town and its precincts. Piece of (Aging) Pith: Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband? A: Tell him you’re pregnant. http://www.pattayatoday.net/index.php?acti...ews&id=3131

You Could at Yeast Make an Effort: PLEASE DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU HAVE JUST EATEN, ARE EATING, OR SUFFER FROM A WEAK STO-MACH. Although the following refers to an incident involving a dancer from the Paris ogling den (Soi Diamond), I would think the end result is something that may well happen in many boozers where basically self-employed women of loose virtue offer their physical charms for monetary recompense and the owners/managers are primarily Thai, or just plain stupid. [Night-March.jpg] HAIR APPARENT: The Casino Club den of the shake-your-booty (Soi Diamond) held a very late night dance contest yet this lady looks as though she is fresh out the shower. (Photo by DAK) I received an email from a disgruntled patron of the chrome pole palace mentioned above who claimed he paid the 600 baht bar fine for a dancer after she agreed to accompany him to a nearby sleeping palace where rooms can be rented by the hour and she would accept a grey note as her reward for any physical services rendered. After the pair had showered they were preparing to engage in activities of an intimate nature when the customer noted, and I quote, ‘the girl had the worst Yeast infection I have ever seen. While I am not a doctor I am fairly sure cottage cheese should not be coming out of a woman’s vagina.’ The sight proved a turn-off, possibly because he is a vegan and doesn’t indulge in dairy products, but more than likely because a yeast infection leads to a condition known as brewer’s droop. The man said he immediately took the girl back to Paris (the ogling den, not the City of Lights) and asked to speak with the mamasan. A hostess claimed the den didn’t have such a creature, so he explained the damsel’s physical limitations and asked for a refund of his bar fine. You already know the answer: a two-letter word beginning with N and ending with O. He claimed he argued his case, politely, for about a minute before realising it was a waste of time, and promptly left. Needless to say the Paris ogling den now has one less customer and is going to accrue plenty of negative publicity within his circle of friends and acquaintances, all for the sake of 600 baht. Clearly, it is impossible for the owners/managers of boozers to physically check every single damsel in their employ, every night, to see if they are carrying some kind of infection. I can see it now: a new ritual is begun each night as the bar-finable dancers come into the den, strip to their birthday suits, move to a nearby wall and stand on their heads while the manager and mamasan stroll down the line inspecting each and every exposed minge for traces of contamination. A sensible management would have checked the girl, confirmed the allegation, and not only paid back the money with a smile, but offered the customer a free drink and an apology. Then again, as any regular knows, sensible management are an all but extinct species here in Fun Town. Undressed for Success: One of the features -if this really is the right term- of the Sakura 69 ogling den (Soi 15, off Walking Street) is the way the dancing damsels are attired after they come off stage. Apparently the management has a rule that however a dancer is attired onstage is how she must remain when offstage. I’m not sure if this has resulted in a number of chest infections or even pneumonia among resting damsels, but I do know some customers appreciate being able to inspect a potential bar fine up close, and very personal, and yeast infections would probably be the least of their worries. Draught amber nectar is the preferred promotion at 55 baht a glass all night. Lady drinks are over the odds at 110 baht and the standard libation is a tequila shot. Party Hard: In recent times the Sisterz ogling den (Walking Street) has undergone some serious managerial changes which have led to a mixed reaction about the quality, or otherwise, of the play palace. For example, in mid-June I received an email from a guy who said he was disappointed with the change stating, ‘the dancers were bored and boring, the price for a SMALL glass of draught beer was 100+ baht and to add insult to injury the beer was the WORST tasting stuff I have ever tasted in my entire life ever (and I’m 55).’ Just a few days later I had an email from one of the owners claiming Sisterz ‘has more than doubled the number of dancing gals to more than 50+ and has 10 showgirls. An ample amount for the 4 stages that are now being fully utilized. When the stages are not full of top totty dancing their socks off – and often everything else as well, there are a range of choreographed (and not) shows. Shows start just after 9pm and have stepped up a notch...The bar has moved on to melodic dance music. Definitely not ear shattering car alarm torture. We have happy hour from 7 – 10pm (yes we open at 7!) for only 45b for house spirits, large glasses of draft Chang and bottles of Tiger, Singha and Chang.’ Naturally, with such conflicting accounts coming just days apart the only way to decide what was really happening in the den was to wander in and check it out in person. I did this on a lazy Monday night and immediately had a chuckle with the sign out front which reads: ‘4 stages, 70 dancers and 5 dodgy guys out front’. Yes, it’s derivative of the old ‘60 gorgeous dancers, and two ugly ones’ sign from the defunct Club Electric Blue but I liked it. Inside, I counted about 30 dancers all up, but this was about 9:00PM on a Monday, so I didn’t expect to see a full complement. What was noticeable, apart from plenty of damsels with tattoos in hard-to-reach places, was the general quality was good. Most looked as though they could supply a detailed resume of employment in more than a few play palaces, veterans in chrome pole molesting but not in age. The music might not be everyone’s taste but suited the style of the den. Lady drinks are reasonable at 99 baht while the bar fine structure is novel with a sensible 350 baht for punters taking a lady for a mere Sierra Tango mattress inspection to 600 baht for dancers, 700 baht for showgirls and 1,500 baht -before the witching hour- and 1,000 baht after for damsels classified as ‘superstars’. Just what kind of a creature a ‘superstar’ is I don’t know but would imagine it has a minimum three tattoos, four body piercings, five overseas sponsors, and thinks its rectal eructations are akin to the aroma of a Chanel 5 perfume. I didn’t try the draught amber fluid so I don’t know if it’s crap or not; what did make me laugh was the attempt by the serving wench to charge me 105 baht for a house liver waster when it was still happy hour. When I pointed out the error she quickly rectified the mistake, if that’s what it really was. I say this because when it came time to pay the bill I proffered a 100-baht note and the change amounted to just 45 baht, 10 baht light. One could be forgiven for thinking they had the attitude if they couldn’t snip me coming in then they would do so going out. Sisterz is going to have what they are calling a ‘Girls Gone Wild’ party on Thursday 3 July so I suggest anyone confused about all of the above and wondering whether the place is worthy of a visit should go along. Around the Swill: Already the word on the street is this is by far the worst business has been for most operators, even outstripping the pallor of 2007. While some places continue to do well I doubt there are many owners, be they of ogling dens, beer boozers, or nosheries who are not looking forward with any relish to the next few months. Then again, this is reflected across the city in all kinds of businesses, many not remotely associated with night entertainment. About the only certainty is that there will be quite a few more places dispensing alcoholic refreshments that will be closed before we reach November. It’s hard to see how some places can classify their operations as true chrome pole palaces. For example, the Pook boozer in Soi 6 classes itself as an ogling den, yet it is open to passers-by and those damsels cavorting about the internal poles are attired in a more coyote-style fashion and more than a few appear to have grown up wearing trousers rather than dresses. Down the road, classifying Mandarin as an ogling den is at least more realistic: closed doors and dancers in bikinis. My two most recent inspections of the place have been a disappointment, the first time there were just three ladies inside, although to be fair this was late at night and the joint is a typical Soi 6 afternoon operation. The second time was earlier in the evening and the ladies waiting out front looked as though they had been employed on the basis of rough, rougher, and roughest. Piece of (Aging) Pith: Once you’re over 50: You can live without sex but not your glasses (except in Pattaya). http://www.pattayatoday.net/index.php?acti...ews&id=3105

The Slings and Arrows of Misplaced Fortune:Recently a regular reader of this newspaper sent a well-written email to another columnist and included a criticism of this page, which he requested be somehow passed on. The criticism concerned what he believed to be a consistent promotion of the Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond), suggesting I was more closely connected with this establishment than I cared to admit. I have had similar critics over the eight years of this column, suggesting my involvement with such diverse joints as Winchester, Dollhouse, Club Electric Blue, Spicy Girls, and even TQ2 and the Asylum was more than simply journalistic. What the owners or managers of all the above-mentioned places have -or had with three of them- in common is/was an ability to get off their backsides and send emails at appropriate times informing me of upcoming dance contests, birthdays, anniversaries, or other activities in their bars. This translates, naturally, into column space in this newspaper. I’ve said it many times before: no one is barred from sending me information about events. Unfortunately, far too many bar operators leave it until past the editorial deadline to impart information. I can remember just one column I penned that contained nothing but information about upcoming parties and events, all the information provided well ahead of time by a variety of bar owners. Currently, places such as New Living Dolls 1, Club Boesche, Secrets, Casino Club, Lam Morrison Rock Club, Baby Dolls, Windmill, and the aforementioned Diamond, are among the few who seem well-enough prepared to send relevant information at appropriate times. So let’s get the facts straight. For the record, out of my last 23 columns -stretching back to July 2007- Diamond has received just six specific entries, five of them relating to dance contests. The number of words used is 806, which equates to 0.02 per cent of my total word output in that time. Hardly gilding the Lilly. At no time in this period have I recommended Diamond as a place to visit outside of a dance contest or special event. Where the criticism is somewhat justified is in the regular use of photographs from Diamond dance contests, anniversaries, and the like. I stand guilty as charged. Unfortunately, in recent months I have not had access to a wider variety of photographs from other places for a number of reasons. Due to this lack of photographic variety I can either forgo providing a picture or, as I have done, go back through the most recent collection and dig out what looks to be the best of those so far unused. In summary: I do not have, and never have had, any financial share or any other interest in any currently operating bar of any description in Pattaya, be it overt or covert. I am not paid money or in barter by any owner of a bar to publicise or promote any premises, nor would I accept such. I am employed to write for this newspaper, and can assure readers the proprietors do not ask me to concentrate or favour any particular place. In fact, they are constantly fielding complaints from disgruntled bar owners and sundry others who feel slighted or affronted in some way. After 23 years in journalism most of it is water off a shagger’s back. Not so Secret Afternoon Delight: My spies tell me the afternoon coyote dance brigade number about 20 operating in the Secrets lounge-lizard libation room (Soi 14, off Walking Street) and a couple of jaded types suggested there were quite a few who were well worth more than a second look. Still Got the Blues: The long-established Blues Factory live-music venue (Soi Lucky Star, off Walking Street) offers a happy hour from 7:00 until 10:00PM with draught amber fluid at 50 baht and most other libations 100 baht. That said, the main reason for going to the place is to see the house band, which comes on stage at around 10:00PM. Lead guitarist ‘Snowman’ keeps the sound tight and humming along in what really is a worthwhile live show. Libations are not unreasonable for a live music place with house liver wasters at 140 baht and ly water 95 baht. From the Sublime to the Ridiculous: When a relatively small den of the chrome pole manages to have 30-plus dancing damsels and possibly half a dozen of these are what one might term ‘tasty’ then you know it’s worthy of more than a single libation. Such a place is Naughty Girls (Soi Diamond), where my only real complaint concerns a pricing policy where house liver wasters are definitely overpriced at 130 baht, ly water 95 baht and draught amber is the preferred promotion at 55 baht all night long. The music went from the standard car alarm noise before seguing into material by Stevie Wonder and Sade. Now that’s what I would call eclectic. While Naughty Girls might not be the best den in town it’s certainly one where a lot of the dancing damsels are easy on the eye and do interact with customers in what is quite a friendly atmosphere. A Group Style: There are three dens of the chrome pole in Fun Town going by the name of Silver Star. The original is in Soi 8 and opened in March 2003. The second one opened on Walking Street in 2006 and is virtually a copy, as far as the internal design is concerned, of the highly successful Club Boesche ogling den (Soi 16). A third Silver Star is in Soi 7 and it opened last year. Don’t ask me why, but the one in Soi 7 has been given the tag of Silver Star II while the Walking Street setup is now relegated to being Silver Star III. The American service personnel here for the annual Cobra Gold exercises certainly were in force in Silver Star III (that’s the one on Walking Street) a couple of weeks back. Contrary to the belief they have little or no money to spend, there were two of them who twice walked upstairs and across the see-through glass ceiling above the dance stage and dropped a number of 20-baht bills into the throng of dancing damsels. Needless to say the ladies, in various stages of undress, scratched about like harridans at the January supermarket sales as they attempted to snatch the notes before someone else could palm them. Not a single note made it to the floor. Obviously, these sorts of antics gave Silver Star an added ambience, as did the fact the place had around 40 dancers and the Jacuzzi was always busy with ladies taking it in turns to give each other more than just a cat-lick. Draught amber and ly water are 95 baht with house liver wasters silly at 130 baht. Note: when I mention the price of libations I am aware many tourists and regulars couldn’t care less what they spend on a thirst quencher while on holiday. Nonetheless, there are rumoured to be 20,000 foreigners living in and around Fun Town and many of these are on a budget and like to know what they can expect to shell out in any particular den. Often the way a den prices its libations tells you about their overall attitude towards their customers, and the type of drinker they are hoping to attract. If one den of the chrome pole had a mortgage on employing the most attractive of the available dancers then it could charge what it liked for drinks because it would be full every night, all night. About the only similarity between a chrome pole Utopia like that and modern-day Pattaya is both words end in ‘a’. Around and About: It’s been suggested the Rock Girls ogling den (Soi 15, off Walking Street) will soon be closing. Can’t say it will be missed as it was lucky if there were ever more than about four girls dancing in the claustrophobic joint. In the same soi the popular Baby Dolls shows-r-us den has changed hands after some lengthy negotiations. Rambling Ricky, as well-known in the fleshpots of Bangkok as he is here in Pattaya, has been resurrected after his less-than-satisfying stint in Sisterz and took over the reins and the rubber appliances at Baby Dolls on 28 May. My understanding is there will be little change to the current pervert-friendly format. A new boozer for the gender-confused has opened at the bottom end (no pun intended) in Soi BJ. I’m led to believe this cul-de-sac(k) is being targeted as the Fun Town version of Patong’s Soi Katoey. There’s no truth in the suggestion that if a few more lady-boy bars open down there the name will be changed from Soi BJ to Soi Knackers Yard. The Sunday Quiz League, which has been going since Adam was a boy, will cease to be as of Sunday 20 July. In its stead will emerge a Monday Quiz League with the first matches to be played on 28 July. The reason for the demise of the Sunday league is because of Formula One Grand Prix racing and the English obsession with the round-ball game, with many matches taking place on a Sunday evening, thereby leading to a drop-off in interest from many players and bars. The English-language Pattaya City News program on Sophon Cable TV went off air in May after a fallout between the Thai and English partners. The latter has now established a new daily news service entitled Pattaya One News which should have gone to air for the first time on Monday 9 June. Questionable Piece of Pith: Q: Someone told me menopause is mentioned in the Bible. If true, where can it be found? A: Yes. Matthew 142: ‘And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt.’ http://www.pattayatoday.net/index.php?acti...ews&id=3086

All Hands Not Quite on Deck: The annual Cobra Gold military exercises have blasted off, or blown off -whatever your preferred explosive verb might be- and if it wasn’t for the platoons of terribly tumescent members of the United States armed forces then Fun Town would almost resemble a graveyard. Companies of men with close-cropped hair have been invading many of the local ogling dens and, on some nights, virtually denuding places as they pay bar fines and troop off into the night for a bit of infiltration with willing young damsels hopeful of extracting a few dollars out of the US military-industrial complex. If only Afghanistan and Iraq were this much fun. Have a Few Drinks, Maybe Win a Bike: The hands-on management at the New Living Dolls 1 ogling den (Walking Street) have decided low season is a good time to conduct a prize promotion. Inside the entrance is a large motorbike worth about 57,000 baht, and this is the prize that awaits one lucky person when the promotion comes to an end on Sunday night 15 June. Imbibers at the den receive one numbered coupon for every 500 baht spent in the chrome pole palace. Staff are prohibited from entering the competition or having any coupons given to them by punters. So that people who might have gathered together a substantial collection of coupons but can’t attend the draw on 15 June aren’t disadvantaged, it is possible for them to nominate someone to collect the prize on their behalf should one of their numbers be drawn out. This nominee must be registered with the management at the den at least 24-hours prior to the prize draw. Just Hand Over Your Money: A couple of friends recently decided to have a thirst-quencher in the Kittens ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 2). As most expats and regulars are probably aware, the den employs both ladies who are genetically female and ladies whose identification card refers to them as ‘Mr’. It’s usually not difficult to work out which is what, as the majority of the distaff brigade have produced one or more children at some point in the last two decades and the relief maps around their mid-riffs show contours even Google Earth would be proud to produce. The meat-and-two-veg (uncut) brigade are part of a trend in certain boozers and areas to cater to a perceived market for boys dressed up as girls, even though there is no evidence of an increase in the numbers of retired British politicians and Anglican vicars making Fun Town their abode. The pair had three libations: one amber fluid, one liver waster, and one lady drink. The bill, they claim, totalled a whopping 730 baht. They couldn’t remember the precise breakdown of the libations, but suffice to say there are now two more people who won’t be returning to Kittens any time soon. Play Misty for Me: The management of the new Misty’s ogling den (Soi 15, off Walking Street) that opened a couple of weeks ago have created a pretty good example the art. You can see the influences of the old Club Electric Blue as well as their other Walking Street property Beavers in the overall layout. It’s a spacious den but designed with a central stage on which are 8-10 dancers and a bank of solid tables around the margins with another five or six girls cavorting about, all in various stages of limited apparel. Pink is the predominant colour: of the short skirts, tops and what always is the main attraction for most ogling den aficionados. The wet bar looks a bit like something out of the TV series Happy Days, to the extent I was expecting a waitress on roller skates to ask if I wanted fries with my soda-pop. The upstairs section features ladies in fishnet stockings and, well not much else really. Although I think I’ve done myself a neck injury, I couldn’t help but keep my eyes drifting to the very fetching bodies of these exhibitionists. Music is standard car alarm while thirst quenchers are priced at 65 baht for draught amber fluid, 95 baht for ly water, and 125 baht for house liver wasters. Bar fines for dancers are 600 baht while show girls are 800 baht but they can only go out for a maximum of two hours. There are about 50 dancers, most with pretty good bodies, although no genuine stunners from my own limited observation. Misty’s have left a now empty shell at their original place in Pattayaland Soi 2, which is now down to just four ogling dens, from its high of nine a few years ago. Not Much to See: Bargain-basement bin car alarm music at high decibels seems to be the main attraction in the long-established but decidedly tired-looking The Sea ogling den (Soi Diamond). Certainly the usual attraction, dancing damsels in limited attire, numbered only about 20 to 30 when I was in recently and, apart from four of these, I wouldn’t be in a hurry to see any of them in the cold light of day. Draught amber is the preferred promotion, at 55 baht a glass, while bottled froth and ly water are 95 baht and house liver wasters 105 baht. If your change amounts to five baht or less it seems the serving wenches have decided your making a donation to their tip fund whether you like it or not. Give it a miss. Still Strong After a Half Century: Lam Morrison always looks akin to one of those unshaven and unwashed recycling men pushing a metal cart before them down the narrow sois in the back streets of Pattaya with half a cigarette hanging from their lips but ever-ready to return a cheery grin from a passer-by with a broken-toothed smile. It’s a fragile look, but when Lam begins to caress an electric guitar he really can lay claim to being one of the great Thai exponents of the art, and he’s a showman to boot. I mention this because I stayed up past my bedtime to catch a recent Lam Morrison performance at the Lam Morrison House of Rock (Soi Marina Plaza). He began with a magnificent rendition (probably performing it for the 87,429th time in the 50 years he’s been playing) of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’, the hit song from the positively ancient Wizard of Oz movie. What made it interesting was that while he was adding a few calluses to his fingers, the movie was being shown, with English subtitles, on the in-house TV monitor. None of us thought we were remotely near Kansas. The band on stage prior to Lam was also excellent. They did material by Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Black Sabbath, AC/DC, Deep Purple and that ilk. A foreign guy who I presume to be a regular but who was sitting with some people having a drink came up on stage a couple of times and belted out some songs in a superb rock and roll voice, starting with AC/DC’s ‘TNT’ and sounding just like the late Bon Scott. Morrison’s is a terrific place to listen to some really hard-core, grab your balls, rock and roll. Thirst-quenchers are reasonable for a live music joint with house liver wasters 130 baht and ly water 95 baht, and there are a small clutch of what might be claimed to be coyote dancers to add a little feminine flavour to the place. Around and About: The Voodoo ogling den (Walking Street) has closed its doors as far as operating as a dancing palace is concerned. The beer boozer in front of it wasn’t open when I went past recently, although a few people were sitting about in chairs watching the passing parade. Around the corner in Soi 15 the Fun Room ogling den is closed, and so for the first time in a while the number of chrome pole palaces in and around Walking Street has dropped below 50. Just how many will be left come the end of September will be interesting to see. Meanwhile, down in Soi Yamato, the Japanese noshery after which the soi takes its colloquial, if not its official, name, is up for sale after 20 years or so of serving sushi, tepanyaki and the like to the masses. In the same soi there is now yet another meat-and-two-veg-in-a-dress boozer called La Bamba (Spanish for ‘show us your knackers’), employing people of very tall stature and deep voices. Then again, the popularity, or otherwise, of these joints might be on the wane (should that be spelt ‘Wayne?’) as the Club 131 boozer is apparently up for sale. Although it used to predominantly employ males who liked to dress up as females, the Malibu show boozer and noshery (Soi Post Office) was a wonderful place to go for a laugh, about as far removed from the slick Vegas-style gender-bender shows put on at Tiffany’s and Alcazar. Sadly, after what must be two decades of operations, the place has closed down. The land value, on the corner of Second Road, is enormous and simple economies of scale would mean it’s worth more than a mere show bar, even if the Tina Turner-lookalike act was one of the funniest in Fun Town. At about 5:00PM on Wednesday 11 June the second of the three-match State of Origin rugby league ‘pitched battles’ will take place in Brisbane, and as usual the Boxing Roo beer boozer (Third Road, opposite Soi Lengkee), will be showing the action on TV and providing a free BBQ for punters, with Uncle Kenny keeping the tote for those interested in laying the odds. NSW deservedly won the first match 18-10 so the Queenslanders, on home turf, will be out for revenge. A pox on their house. Piece of Pith: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. http://www.pattayatoday.net/index.php?acti...ews&id=3056

THE Price of Laotian Love: The People’s Democratic Republic of Laos is a little country with an anachronistic government and wonderful people. I first went to its toy-town capital of Vientiane almost 12 years ago and have returned every few years and watched as it has gradually grown up, or been subverted, depending upon your point of view with regard to its nightlife. Where once an assignat-ion with a Lao female of extremely friendly demeanour was frowned upon and difficult to arrange, nowadays there’s a very relaxed attitude. Receptionists in hotels in the mid-price range group no longer look disapprovingly if a foreign male returns arm-in-arm to his room with a Lao lady whose name he has already probably forgotten. A decade ago the receptionist would have said he had to charge extra for the woman, even if the lady only intended staying for a brief period of time. Now it’s pretty much the same attitude you’ll find in most sleeping dens in Fun Town. [Night-March] FASHION TOWELS: When the Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond) ran its usual pre-Songkran wet T-shirt contest in April, the dancing damsels got very wet very quickly. To keep from suffering chest infections caused by prolonged exposure to cold water, many of t In Vientiane the group I was with wandered into an upstairs bar on Fa Ngum Road, which runs alongside the Mekong River, and although there were plenty of foreign traveller types propping up barstools and watching the English football, the majority of females were Laotian and appeared to be regulars. One of my mates decided he liked the come hither look of one of a trio of damsels sat at the table next to us and after a period of time he arranged for one of their number to return to his hotel for a short time of exploring each other’s bodily cavities. The price she wanted was 800 baht (although the Lao currency is the kip, it’s not worth much more than the Zimbabwean dollar, and most people in Vientiane are happy to deal in US dollars or Thai baht). Negotiations had apparently started at 1,000 baht before coming down in the time-honoured tradition of Asian bartering. The night entertainment places of Laos have a midnight closing time and by the time the clock had struck the appointed hour most tumescent males and almost all the females in the place had paired off and so the Laotian underground economy was going to be quite a few thousand baht better off by the following morning. We also visited the old royal capital of Luang Prabang for three days and were told ladies of questionable morals did not ply their trade in this popular tourist destination. Needless to say, almost every taxi and tuk-tuk driver in the small town was offering us “opium, ganja, lady?” There’s no doubt that whatever after-sundown entertainment involving willing females and sums of money is available in Luang Prabang is not overt but, as the song says, ‘you can get it if you really want it’. The Price of Thai Elections: The anachronistic electoral laws in Thailand that treat every voter as if they will become a complete moron and be rendered incapable of casting a ballot if they can go into a bar and obtain alcoholic sustenance in the 24-hours leading up to an election have well and truly severely damaged the overall local economy in recent months. I have no financial interest in any boozer or noshery in Pattaya, so writing about the effects of closures is not out of self-interest. I think the logic behind the closures is flawed, in the extreme. The idea is to keep eligible constituents sober so they will cast a sensible ballot the following day. Yet anyone who has had much to do with the average Thai will know all they require to get on the turps in flammable quantities is a stone table and seats, a stereo system capable of being turned up to 8,000 decibels, and a few willing mates. In this capacity they are then able to drink themselves into oblivion. Does anyone seriously believe that closing boozers, or, if they are permitted to stay open, requiring them to only serve ly water to their customers, will bring out the electorate? That question, of course, is rhetorical. So, what is the economic loss worth? There are around 80 ogling dens in Fun Town and a very wild guess on my part suggests on a Saturday night they would average 60,000 baht in turnover. Some take upwards of 100,000 baht, others may be as low as 25,000-30,000 baht, so erring on the lower side of the ledger and suggesting the average is 60,000 baht means there is almost five million baht not being taken over the bar counters in the chrome pole palaces. The average den would probably see about 50 individual customers per night. Again, some would have 200 or more faces, others might struggle to attract 20. Erring once more on the low side, if 50 individuals leave an average tip of 10-baht for the serving wenches, that’s at least another 40,000 baht not being spent. And that money goes directly into the pockets of people who really need it most. So, multiply the above ‘rubbery’ figures by some five (or is it now six?) nights of lost revenue in the last four or five months and there’s at least 30-million baht not spent and 200,000 baht in tips not earned. With the advent of the mobile phone and text messaging, the ladies who cavort around the chrome poles are less disadvantaged by bar closures. Many might take the night off completely to hang out and get drunk with their Thai boyfriend (and forget to vote the next day), while others will be sending messages of undying love and devotion and desire for raunchy sex to their collection of expatriate ATMs. ‘How you now. I want come see you. Bar close. Not have to pay bar, only me, darkling,’ is how a sample text might read. It’s not just boozers that are affected. People who are aware of the closures and who might normally come down from Bangkok for the weekend will stay away, so hotels and their staff and local restaurants, and their staff, all suffer reduced trade. Perhaps the most sensible way around this if the government can’t bring itself to lift the bar opening ban completely, would be to allow places to open as usual and close at midnight instead of the official 2:00AM. As far as enforcing the midnight closures are concerned, the local peelers should start with Thai joints first: the discos on Third Road and karaoke dens before working their way down to places frequented predominantly by foreigners. Don’t worry, I won’t be holding my breath for something like this to happen. Getting into the Zone: It may be worth ignoring my most recent comments regarding the X-Zone ogling den (Soi 16, off Walking Street) as the place has been sold and a new management team took over at the start of May. The new owners, so I believe, are from Belgium and paid a fairly substantial amount for the den. If they still have any money left I suggest making some drastic improvements to the staircase leading up to the bar as this poorly-constructed section must surely discourage many potential customers. Hopefully the place will be better for the change. The Champagne ogling den (Soi LK Metro) has re-opened after a lengthy peeler-enforced closure. Early reports suggest it is struggling to regain the ground it lost while closed for such a long time. Just up the same soi the strangely-named Gorkle ogling den appears to have finally closed its doors. Another den which has closed its doors is the Tramps show joint (upstairs in Soi Diamond). After a promising start offering entertainment of a truly ‘downmarket’ nature it attracted some unwanted attention from the local plod and looks to have well and truly closed its legs. Out of the Rumour Mill: There are suggestions one of Fun Town’s most active ogling den investors and operators is considering getting out of the business, or, at the very least, paring his string of chrome pole palaces down to just one establishment. Certainly, his most successful and popular play palace is up for sale. All should be revealed in the coming weeks. Tales from the Crib: A friend of mine recently became enchanted with a lithe young chrome pole molester at a popular off-Walking Street ogling den and in a state of between-the-legs excitement willingly paid the bar fine and brought the damsel back to his humble abode with plans to satisfy his and her every physical whim. The lady partook of the traditional pre-coital shower, as did my friend, and the happy couple repaired to the spacious bed. My friend is like many men I know: a closet lesbian, keen to use his tongue in a form of oral stimulation that doesn’t involve words on a part of the female anatomy normally most receptive to such a fine licking. As he wore the taste buds off his rapidly aching tongue he became aware the lady whose pleasure he was attempting to stimulate had fallen asleep. He claims he woke her up and the damsel explained she much preferred a jolly good rogering to a long fine licking. Piece of Pith: Noi disappeared from the Paradise A-Go-Go last week, and she hasn’t been obscene since. (Rae Lambert, artist and cartoonist) http://www.pattayatoday.net/index.php?acti...ews&id=3020

I am getting join member section requests daily, but I don't have one for you. I checked my spam rules and some of the requests did end up in junk mail. I've modified the filter to hopefully resolve that issue. Sorry for the inconvenience. By the time you read this, you'll have been upgraded to member status.

Why? Wanna talk nasty in the expats area?

Anyone reading this would do well to do a search on SKYTOP or SKYSLOPS on this site to get a more balanced view of this establishment...and the value of the proposed business for sale.

Sorry, never heard of the place. That might be because I'm not privy to all the developments of the LK Group. Where is it?

Good catch! I missed that. Another old post resurrected by Whilliam_mancon! Whilliam, can you stop resurrecting old posts as if they were new? It's causing major confusion...and it pushes the new, active posts off the front page so they get lost.

I wish I had seen the photos, but they are gone.

I'm still smiling!

Too many, IMHO. Well, there are the usual Buddhist holidays, national holidays, royal birthdays, then the elections. It's quite unpredictable. Some years you have to close on a particular holiday, other years you don't. Whimsy and confusion. There's another closure coming next month. Here's a list that shows many holidays. Some are bar closures, some are not. The next one up is the Queen's birthday...

Bars have been informed that they must close tomorrow, July 17 and the following day, July 18. This is Khao Phansa Day (Buddhist Lent) when all the monks return to the Wat for 3 (?) months of meditation. (The good news, for some, is that you can't get married during those three months -- at least in a Buddhist marriage, so no one has to worry about sin sot issues till Oct or Nov. ) Anyway, FLB and WS will be lights out tomorrow for sure. The 18th ought to be okay for some bars if they keep a low profile till midnight.

That was a rule that was dropped a couple of years ago. Any email address is fine.

You'll be a full member by the time you read this. Welcome to the board.

I didn't get prices for the LK Renaissance, but these are the prices for the other 3 hotels. The FLB rate is the column labeled "Corporate".

Note from "mod" -- Pete posts the same content on several forums about Pattaya, so this applies to all those, but certainly not here. I will note that one of the main reasons Pete was disassociated from this forum as an admin was to allow him the freedom and independence to post as an unallied business owner. Sorry to hijack your thread, Pete. BTW, I rode a baht bus yesterday that was fully outfitted with PBG advertising. Very nicely done!

Oops. The button says CARD. My mistake. See the arrow in the attached picture: