pcdodger

Entertaining, I think not, what is entertaining about someone posting his type of self righteous critical waffle?

Thanks newbie, and which arsehole have you just crawled out of?

Its not the male way to ignore a cunt

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ... "In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days." "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests" "What is your FIRST request ???' The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse", "But I will still kill you in two days." "What is your SECOND request ???" The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night. The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents," "But I will still kill you tomorrow." "What is your LAST request ???" The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone." The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent. Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, Looks him square in the eye and says, Listen Very Carefully !!!! FOR... THE... LAST... TIME... I SAID ... "BRING POSSE"

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 16% this February from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequentshortage of virgins in the afterlife. The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( or B.O.O.M. ) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literallyworking themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth." Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up." Spokespersons for the union in the Northeast of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway". Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of that Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like that they are not so keen on going to paradise.

Nice one

Love it If only, if only

I debated whether to enter this bun fight but after this quote I had to. You are either too young or too much a Manchester United supporter to have made this statement. The likes of Charlton and Moore would certainly be in front of him, you could also add Gascoine for pure skill and the likes of Hurst and Greaves for striking ability. Now note that I have not talked Rooney down, given time and application he may well be able to rest amongst the greats, but not yet IMHO

Yuk I dont think I could ever switch from Rennies after seeing that

Love the picture That is a good find

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro- Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists ! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ~~~Mark Twain~~~ ------------------------------ "I would rather have a German division in front of me, than a French one behind me." ~~~General George S. Patton~~~ ------------------------------ "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." ~~~General Norman Schwartzkopf~~~ ------------------------------ "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." ~~~Marge Simpson~~~ ------------------------------ "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." ~~~Jacques Chirac, President of France~~~ ------------------------------ "The only time France wants us to go to war, is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." ~~~Regis Philbin~~~ ------------------------------ "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." ~~~John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona~~~ ------------------------------ "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." ~~~David Letterman~~~ ------------------------------ "Only thing worse than a Frenchman, is a Frenchman who lives in Canada ." ~~~Ted Nugent~~~ ------------------------------ "War without France would be like .. World War II." ~~~Unknown~~~ ------------------------------ "The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq , then France ." ~~~Tom Brokaw~~~ ------------------------------ "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs ,than the Nazis?" ~~~Dennis Miller~~~ ------------------------------ "It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us." ~~~Alan Kent~~~ ----------------------------- "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of hirsuit mistresses in the house." ~~~Argus Hamilton~~~ ------------------------------ "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day --the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.." ~~~Rep. Roy Blunt, MO~~~ ----------------------------- "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq." ~~~Dennis Miller~~~ ------------------------------ Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII? A. "Table for 100,000 m'sieur?" ----------------------------- "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not known, it's never been tried." ~~~Rep. R. Blount, MO~~~ ------------------------------ "Do you know why it took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?-----it was raining! " ~~~John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv~~~ ------------------------------ The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise in the alert level was precipitatedby a recent fire which destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military. " ------------------------------

Repeat so removed

There are some good ones in there I dont know about the Liverpool tropical fish stores though, nearest to that is the "chippies" "Alright Wack"? Fish and Tits for one?

Yes If there ever is going to be a time that this type of disaster could be funny, most would say not.

Ho ho thats sweet. There but for the grace of God [ In our dreams that is ]

This Ad Was Posted to Craig in the Personals To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 AM EST. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives and me. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it? I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother, or " Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Alex

Now that I like

Thats a good un

That is so bad its good My mate was a fan of Radiohead while he was driving Until he got his dick caught in the CD slot

For all of you "Car Buffs" out there Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women. They are mixing the Renault Clio and the Ford Taurus and calling it the "Clitaurus." It comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.

Coming soon to an airport near you

A good laugh, and loved the Dead Terrorist video on the main page as well

Martin, it`s not for me to say what needs doing, but he sure gets up a lot of noses on the board. All best

Firstly, MM, or any part of his apengage is not my preference, as he and some of his green badges could testify. Secondly, by that crass comment alone you have proved you are a C@@T.