doghaus

Now that Pieman is joining the road trip, there has to be a special rule: NO FUCKING SPOOF! Apart from that, welcome to the group Pie. I am pleased that you will be tucking us all into bed at 10.00 pm sharp. The Hillies were threatening to join the group - perhaps they could post an update regarding their plans. Doggie

Looks like the Pieman is threatening to join the road trip. That will ensure that the alcohol consumption will hit new records at the hotel. I suggest that we stop at a bottle store en route and load up with supplies! For gods sake don't let him play spoof again! Great to have you aboard Pie. Now what is happening with the Hillys - they were also threatening to join in? This trip looks better every day! Doggie

Good point Hub. You are quite correct - once you have claimed a mulligan you must use the second ball even if it is worse than the first. Same goes for the reverse mulligan - if the opponent plays an even better shot, that is the one that counts. Doggie

Hub Deuce is not going to join us. He wants to spend his last few days in Pattaya partaking of some last minute horizontal refreshment. Right now there are 5 of us but there are a few more who might be joining us. The current list of suspects is: You Me Big Kev Big Kev's mate Steve O There are 2 possibly 4 more that might be joining in. What do you think about having a road trip polo shirt? I am sure I could get some made up in Pattaya if you guys wanted them. Cheers Doggie

I have been getting the quotes for transport. We can have a mini bus plus driver for Bht 2,750 per day including the drivers allowance, fuel and tolls. I think this is the best option because it gives us transport locally without relying on the hotel mini-bus at bht 200 per hour. I have gone ahead and booked it. Please let me know if you have any objections. Doggie

Thanks for that Taxi. Hopefully, the rules I have published for the Ambrose are correct in respect of the handicap - 1/4 the combined handicap for the two player teams and then haved for the 9 holes. Let me know if I have goofed! Look forward to seeing you there. Cheers Doggie

Mr Bin Liner We have heard that the USA FART SWAT team are on your trail. Please do not break off negotiations as we know these guys are acting on very vague intelligence. Their track record is not so good - they were the ones that confidently predicted that they would win the Ryder Cup on their home soil and looked what happened. Your cleric The Ayatollah Montie Sourface put them to the sword! They will still be looking for you long after we have completed our negotiations. We need that trophy. What is your best offer for the return of the trophy? Doggie

Dear Mr Bin Liner I am writing to you as the organiser of the greatest golf tournament on the planet. We are stunned by the news that our precious trophy has been taken prisoner. The responsibility for taking care of the trophy rested with the 2003 winning captain - a man of impeccable credentials. For the last 11 months, I have assumed that the trophy was on display in the USA and would, as is customary, be returned to Pattaya in time for the 2004 RideHer Cup. This event cannot take place without the trophy - it would be impossible. The teams have asked me to enter into negotiations with the hope that we can agree terms for its release before 8th November. I know that you are not interested in money so here is our offer. Team USA fully accept that they are responsible for the safety of the trophy so they will meet the terms for its release. The USA team are willing to perform any forfeit that you, oh holy one, might choose to impose on them. This offer includes, but is not limited to, every team member dropping their trousers on the first tee. Please contact me urgently with your demands - we must have our trophy released before the event. Our great holy leader - Big Ben - also accepts that he was responsible for the safekeeping of the trophy at last year's party. If you can prove that the kidnapping took place on his premises, then he has accepted that he must pay a mighty forfeit of your choosing to get the trophy released. We await your response oh holy one! Doggie

The 2004 RideHer Cup Golf Match – 8th November 2004 USA vs. Europe (including some representatives from the rest of the world) Welcome to the 2004 RideHer cup – the only golf competition where having fun is more important than how you play! Here are the arrangements and rules for the event with an explanation of the handicap calculations. Your entry fee of 3000 baht includes cap, golf shirt, transport, green fees, caddy fees, buggies and food at the golf course and the evening party. Caddy tips are not included – it is common to tip the caddy at least 200 baht and up to 300 baht if she is good. Selecting the matches All players meet up at FLB on Sunday evening 7th November around 9 pm. Ben will collect the money and explain the travel arrangements. Ben will also issue team shirts. The captains will then select the pairings and list them in the order of play. When both Captains have made their listings, the organiser will collect the lists and announce the matches and the order of play. Travel and arriving at the golf course Players will meet the bus in Pattaya at a pre-arranged time – Ben will announce this at the Sunday meeting. Please don’t miss the bus, as it will not wait! We strongly recommend booking at least 2 wake-up calls to make sure that you are ready to go at the appointed hour. On arrival at the golf course, your clubs will be off-loaded and handed over to your caddies. They will load them on the buggy and will meet you near the first tee. Please identify your golf bag when it is off-loaded so that the organiser can make sure that it is placed on the same buggy as your playing partner. There are facilities to hire clubs at the course – just let Ben or I know in advance that you will need hire clubs. Once your clubs are sorted, go to the changing rooms and put on your golf shoes. Then, meet up on the first tee. The organiser will have sorted out the cards for each match so make sure you collect these and that you know how the handicap system will work. We will endeavour to mark the cards with the holes where each played receives shots. When your match is announced, step up to the tee; toss a coin to decide which team tees off first and then hit away. Remember to get past the ladies tee – see special rules below! The matches Each group will play 2 matches with a point available for each match. The front nine will be played as a Texas Scramble/Ambrose. Both players in the team hit their drives and select which drive will be used. Thereafter, the players each hit a shot from the position of the best-placed ball until the team has holed out. The handicap allowance will be 1/4 the combined handicap of the 2 players in the team. Strokes will be according to the stroke index of the hole. So, a team comprising an 18 and a 36 handicapper will receive 13.5 (14) strokes and a team with a 14 and an 18 will receive 8 strokes. In this case, the first team will receive 6 strokes for 18 holes and this will be reduced to 3 strokes for the front 9 to be taken on the 3 holes with the lowest stroke index on the front nine. To add a bit of spice, the team will be required to select a minimum of 3 drives for each partner on the 9 holes. The holes will be played as straight match play and the match will be determined as a win (1 point) or a half (1/2 point) for the 9 holes. The back nine will be played as four ball better ball. Each player in the team plays every shot at the hole and the best net score for the hole wins that hole. The handicaps for the four balls will be full handicap allowance stroking off the lowest handicap player. So, in the above example, the 14 handicapper will play off scratch, his partner will get 4 strokes and the players in the other team will get 4 and 22 strokes respectively for 18 holes. The number of strokes received will then be halved for the 9 holes that are being played. Strokes will be allowed according to the SI off the holes on the back nine. The four balls will also be match play with the lowest net winning the hole and the match determined as a win or a half. The nineteenth hole At the end of the round, each team should submit two cards signed by them and their opponents with the result of the Texas/Ambrose and the four balls on 2 separate cards. I will collect the cards and will score the matches in conjunction with the 2 captains. The overall result will remain a secret until the evening party. After you have showered, there will be a snack available in the clubhouse. When the competition is finished and all players are refreshed, the bus will leave for Pattaya. Players will be returned to the departure point together with your golf clubs. Bonus prizes There will be a longest drive and nearest the pin competition on the back nine. The holes where these competitions are running will be identified on your cards. The longest drive must come to rest on the fairway and will be marked with a stake and marker card. The stakes will be carried by the first match out and should be placed by them after the respective best shots in their match. If none of the players hit the respective fairways or green, the stakes should be left on the tee for the next group. If you beat the previous best for longest drive or nearest the pin, move the stake forward to the position where the ball came to rest and add your name below the previous entry. Remember, it is only your first shot that counts for these competitions – no mulligans (see below) or provisionals! We will also have some other "fun" competitions running during the matches - these will be announced the previous evening. Special rules - Mulligans If you don’t understand what a Mulligan is, ask the organiser at the launch party! Each player will be able to purchase up to 4 Mulligans for 100 baht each before RideHer Cup play starts. Cost per Mulligan is 100 baht each with money going into the Mulligan Baht Pool. The Mulligan Baht pool will be used to purchase tequila or similar libations for the FLB party in the evening. 2 Mulligans may be used per 9 holes – 1 from the tee box and 1 from anywhere on the course excluding the tee box and green. No carryovers allowed. If you don’t use your 2 Mulligans on the front nine you lose them on the back nine. A little twist to add some spice to the event, opponents can use appropriate (tee box or anyplace) Mulligans to make an opponents team member (not his partner) shoot his or her shot over again if you think your opponent's shot was too good or was just a lucky one. This is called the Reverse Mulligan! The Reverse Mulligan cannot be invoked on the green. Obviously, you will lose that Mulligan for your own use if it is played on an opponents shot. No Mulligans can be used against opponents or for themselves when any longest drive or nearest pin prizes are being played for on the shot. If you call a mulligan, the ball must be dropped before playing the shot. The only exception is on a tee shot or in the sand when the ball may be placed. Other special rules Any male player failing to hit his drive past the ladies tee box will have to play his next shot with his trousers round his ankles. Any 36 handicapper who plays an air shot – failing to connect with the ball when attempting to play it – will be permitted to play the shot again without penalty. If he or she misses with the second attempt, this will be counted as one shot. The pussy prize. The pussy prize will be awarded to the player who leaves a birdie attempt short of the hole by the longest margin. If a player has a birdie putt (only counts if the ball is on the green with the shot before the birdie putt) and leaves the birdie putt short of the hole, the opponents will be required to estimate the distance that the putt is short of the hole. The name of the player and the distance short of the hole should be reported to the organiser at the end of the round. Shortest drive. This competition will run at the same hole as longest drive. A stake for shortest drive will be provided to the first group and should be placed on the fairway at the distance of the shortest drive for their group. Players failing to pass this stake with their drives should collect the stake and place it back on the fairway (or possibly the tee or even behind the tee) with their name added to the list. The last group should collect the stake Furthest from the pin. This competition will run at the same hole as the nearest the pin competition. Same rules as the shortest drive competition. This stake will probably be found in some interesting places – it cannot be thrown in the water! If a shot lands in the water, the stake should be placed on the landside of the hazard at the approximate distance from the hole that the water shot landed. The Jontiem Beach Trophy. This will be awarded to the player who takes the most shots to escape from a bunker on the back nine. Nominations should be given to the organiser at the end of the round and should be verified by the opponents. Players name and number of bunker shots should be submitted to the organiser at the end of the competition. The RideHer Cup presentation party Ben will announce the arrangements for the party on Sunday evening. Last year, it was decided that the losing team would pay a bar fine for each member of the winning team. This bar fine may be used at FLB on the night of the party. Any player who does not want to use the money for a bar fine may exchange the credit for liquid refreshment of any ladies of his or her choice. Last rule – have fun!!

Hub I didn't get you message. Can you please re-send it? Thanks Doggie

OK Kev. I'll book you guys on the trip. See you in Pattaya. Cheers Doggie

I have been exchanging emails with some of the guys who are in town for the RideHer Cup on the subject of having a few days golfing away from Pattaya. I have been to some of the courses in the River Kwai area so I am proposing a 3 day trip to Kanchanaburi with the following programme: Tuesday 16th November - depart Pattaya early morning in a mini-bus. Stop at Mission Hill CC around lunchtime for 18 holes. Mission Hills is a Jack Nicklaus course rated one of the best in Asia. Overnight at the Pavilion Rim Kwai Hotel - a deluxe hotel on the banks of the River Kwai Pavilion Rim Kwai Wednesday 17th November - morning round of golf at Nichigo Resort. This is another first class course with 27 holes. In the afternoon, I propose that we can visit the Bridge over the River Kwai and the war museum followed by a dinner on the River Kwai. Overnight at the Pavilion Rim Kwai. Thursday 18th November - check out of our hotel and play a round of golf at Blue Saphire. This is a new course that I would rate as one of the most difficult in Thailand. It is constructed in the middle of a quarry and is surrounded by water. An alternative would be to play the Rose Garden at Nakom Prakom. After golf, we would proceed to Bangkok. I will be staying at the Rama Gardens near the airport because I am leaving on the Saturday. If anyone needs to return to Pattaya, we would arrange for the mini bus to take you there. Please let me know if you are interested and I will book the bus, hotel and tee times. Also, let me know if you want a room booking at the Rama Gardens in BKK. I expect the costs to be roughly as follows: Transport to Kanchanaburi - about baht 3000 split between us 2 nights at Pavilion Rim Kwai - about 3600 baht each for a single room Green fees, caddy and buggy at each course - about 1500 baht per round Excursion to Kanchanaburi - the hotel mini bus costs about 200 baht per hour Transport to BKK - about baht 2000 split between us I will need to have your decisions by about 24th October so that I can make the bookings before I leave for Thailand. There will be no problem taking TG's with you for company if you want. Alternatively, LBFM's may be acquired locally! Cheers Doggie

Hub What's wrong with the shirt in the photo? I thought that was the sort of shirt every Yank wears when in Pattaya! If you want to play Sriracha the week before, I would be up for a game. I will be going there on Monday 1st on my way down from BKK to pay the deposit for the RideHer. I could meet up with some of you there in the late morning - timing will depend on my flight down from Chiang Mai. Hilly, the hire clubs that Daz got were almost brand new Clevelands. Doggie

ff29 That's great news that all 3 of you will be playing this year. T shirt sizes noted and Ben will be placing the orders nearer the time. Please give my regards to your group. Cheers Doggie

It looks like the numbers are up to 10 for the USA and 9 for Europe with just over 1 month to go. I will be posting the rules later this week - these will be similar to last year unless anyone has some changes to propose. The mulligan and reverse mulligan rules seemed to work well so we will keep these for this year. I was thinking of changing the foursomes rules a bit to give players more jabs at the ball. What do you think about playing a version of Texas Scramble where you are playing the best lying ball each time. Each player drives and then you play both shots from the position of the better ball each time until you hole out. I believe the Aussies call it an Ambrose - it was Taxi that suggested this variant and I like the sounds of it. What do you think? Doggie

Taxi I have you counted in for team Europe. I assume you will want a large polo shirt. You can hire clubs at the course for 600 baht. Daz hired some on Saturday and he got a good set of Clevelands. If anyone needs hire clubs, please let me know in advance and I'll make sure they are reserved. Doggie

I have booked up the tee times for the 2004 RideHer Cup. The venue will be Siracha Country Club. I played the course last week with Rappongi and another golfer from the UK - Brian. Brian also played Eastern Star and Phoenix and we all agreed that Siracha is the best course for players of all abilities. Eastern Star was considered to be too much of a challenge and Phoenix are notoriously unco-operative when it comes to doing a deal. Siracha has been the subject of considerable renovation by Siam Golf Properties. It is a Gary Player designed course and the company runs things well. The course has wide fairways so there is not too much trouble from the tee. The greens are good and we felt that the approach shots on many of the holes would challenge the lower handicap players without making life too hard for the higher handicappers. We have got a good deal from the course with half price green fees so they are keen to get our business. The catering is well run so I have asked them to have a hot food buffet availabe when the groups are showered and changed. As usual, the entry fee will include carts and caddy fees. The contract is signed and I will pay the deposit when I get to Thailand on 1st November. Please confirm your entries before then. Here's hoping we can repeat the Ryder success this year. By the way, the Cup has now returned to the fLB after the yanks lost it! Cheers Doggie

GP 2002 It was a great course - without doubt the best in the Pattaya area. Now it really has been ruined by Hilly and Rappongi. Hilly has described the results of his hacking in enough detail and Rappongi managed to trim most of the rough without a lawnmower. As a follow-up, we played another four ball todayb against Rappongi and Das. And yes, Brian and I won again! Yet more baht in my pocket to contribute to the needy of Pattaya. From now on, we are changing Rappongi's handle to Dungheap. Every time he stood over his ball, there was a swarm of flies and ants around him. A great day was had by all although the golf was so bad that it took over 5 hours to finish the round! As an aftermath, Rappongi has reported that he is missing a bit of bark from his tree - I'll let him report on that. A good warm-up for the RideHer and a couple of really fun golf days! Now on to tonight's party! Doggie

Hey guys Less than 2 months to go and it has gone a bit quiet on the entries. So far, the USA have 8 players registered and Europe 7. However, I sent an email to the Norwegians today so I am hoping that will be another 3 for Europe. Where are all last year's players - there are still a few of the USA team that have not posted their entries. Surely they are not in the huff 'cos they went and mislaid the trophy? Keep the entries coming in. I will be carrying out a course inspection next week to make sure that the rough is neatly trimmed and all the holes are in play! Let's hear from y'all. Doggie

Hilly Will make the final decision on the venue when I have been to Eastern Star and Phoenix week after next. if it is Phoenix, one of the caddies has already been reserved by telephone. Hub Good point about the stakes - will include in the briefing. Glad you can join us on the day. Doggie

Bruce I'm hoping my number still works on the basis that it is less then 3 months since the last top up. If not, I will call you anyway on 19th or 20th. I thought you might be up for a round at Phoenix on the 20th - just let me know. I will book you up for Laem Chabang on 21st - I assume you won't need transport unless you tell me otherwise. Have a good trip. Doggie

Welcome aboard again Saigon! ff29 - the Cup venue will be either Eastern Star or Phoenix. I will sort this out when I am there in September. Look out for a post. Cheers Doggie

Hi Saigon Good to hear from you. Thanks for the suggestion. I will post a trip report about Eastern Star when I have played it. I might have to wait till I get back from Thailand at the end of September. We are considering either Eastern Star or Phoenix as the venue for this year's RideHer Cup so that is the main purpose of my visit to the course! In the interests of research, I shall force my fellow golfers to pay a visit to Bang Chang on our return journey. Legend has it that there are certain establishments in that region where all the bar staff are recruited for their ability to balance a cold beer on their heads whilst in a kneeling position. This needs to be confirmed through some careful field research - the results will be reported. Can you please advise how I should play a reverse mulligan on my colleagues while we are in the bar? Do they have to drop a ball in the rough or must they suffer a worse penalty of having to play a different hole? Cheers Doggie

For any golfers that are in town between 18th and 25th September I have organised a few rounds of golf for 4 of us that are in town between 18th and 25th September. Roppongi, Pie, myself and a mate of mine are booked up to play the following days: 19th September - Eastern Star - 1300 tee-off - 3 of us playing so far. Pie has wimped out because he thinks he might have a hangover! 21st September - Laem Chabang - Sports Day with reduced green fees - tee off after 10.30. Back in plenty of time for the Kittens Party night 25th September - my mate and I are playing Khao Kheow on our way back to Bangkok - lunchtime tee off. If any more players want to join in, please pm me in the next week and I can get extra tee times booked. I'll send the green fee and transport prices when you pm me. I have organised a mini bus to leave from Soi 4 - I will advise the RV and departure times when you book. We should be able to collect from extra locations if there are more bookings. Should be fun! Doggie

Welcome aboard Kev and your mate. Ben will take on the challenge of getting shirts to fit you - I remember the last time we played your dress code was slightly non-conformist. I have emailed you a photo as a souvenir of that day! I never did figure out who the fuck is Alice! Cheers Doggie