doghaus

I'll be aroon frae the 12th. CU Jimmy in the FLB Bar Doggie frae the Faroes

Supersun I suggest you send a PM to Ray W. Ray lives in Pattaya and plays the courses regularly so he will know the latest rates. I normally play golf with the group from the Haven. They have discounts negotiated with a number of courses and go out 3 to 4 days each week. You will need to join the IPG but that is not expensive. I paid as little as Bht550 for a round and the most expensive was Bht950 when I was there in November. I don't expect that the prices will have changed much in 2 months. Enjoy your golf Doggie Doggie

The Hotel Koenig has large rooms with either a shower or a bath with a shower. The ones with shower only are the normal Thai layout where the shower is in the corner of the bathroom and there is no seperate shower tray. There is a curtain across the bathroom so there will be plenty of room for you plus one or two "guests". I have stayed at the Koenig two times and I have booked again for February so I must like it. The owner, Eddy, is the German Basil Fawlty and that makes the place a lot of fun. Guest friendly with a bar next to the lobby where you can select a short time if you are too lazy to go downtown! The bar goes by the unfortunate name of "Queens Bar" but that is just Eddy's command of the English language showing a few flaws - it is certainly not a gay bar! If you want to make an enquiry, mail to holiday@hotelkoenig.com Have fun. Doggie

Steveo It will be interesing for the spectators when he has to drop his drawers after his first tee shot!! ;D

Hey Deuce I seem to remember that I only had to drop my breeks once during that round. There are others (who shall remain nameless) who had to drop their kegs on more than one occassion! A great round where the humour was of high quality and very little golfing ability was in evidence! Doggie

The USA won the RideHer Cup yesterday by the convincing score of 7 points to 3. Congratulations to all the USA players! I hope that your captain takes better care of the trophy than the European captain last year. It was a great day - thanks to everyone who supported the event and to Anne, Pete and Ben for a great party last night. Ben, you were the perfect host and you kept everyone entertained the whole evening. However, I thought it was a bit cruel to send the USA captain home in the arms of a lady boy. These species have a nasty habit of stealing things from what I have heard! Doggie

To all RideHer Cup participants I have drafted the rules and the arrangements for the event. These have been sent to Ben so he may add to or change some of the details. If so, I guess he will post here. The rules have been approved by the 2 captains and most players should have received a copy from me by e-mail. Here is a copy of the document that was distributed. [glow=red,2,300]The 2003 RideHer Cup Golf Match[/glow] USA vs. Europe (including some representatives from the rest of the world) Welcome to the 2003 RideHer cup – the only golf competition where having fun is more important than how you play! Here are the arrangements and rules for the event with an explanation of the handicap calculations. Selecting the matches All players meet up at FLB on Sunday evening 2nd November around 9 pm. Ben will collect the money and explain the travel arrangements. Ben will also issue team shirts. The captains will then select the pairings and list them in the order of play. When both Captains have made their listings, the organiser will collect the lists and announce the matches and the order of play. Travel and arriving at the golf course Players will meet the bus in Pattaya at a pre-arranged time – Ben will announce this at the Sunday meeting. Please don’t miss the bus, as it will not wait! We strongly recommend booking at least 2 wake-up calls to make sure that you are ready to go at the appointed hour. On arrival at the golf course, your clubs will be off-loaded and handed over to your caddies. They will load them on the buggy and will meet you near the first tee. Please identify your golf bag when it is off-loaded so that the organiser can make sure that it is placed on the same buggy as your playing partner. There are facilities to hire clubs at the course – just let Ben know in advance that you will need hire clubs. Once your clubs are sorted, go to the changing rooms and put on your golf shoes. Then, meet up on the first tee. The organiser will have sorted out the cards for each match so make sure you collect these and that you know how the handicap system will work. We will endeavour to mark the cards with the holes where each played receives shots. When your match is announced, step up to the tee; toss a coin to decide which team tees off first and then hit away. Remember to get past the ladies tee – see special rules below! The matches Each group will play 2 matches with a point available for each match. The front nine will be played as foursomes. Both players in the team hit their drives and select which drive will be used. Thereafter, the players hit alternate shots. Over the 9 holes, a minimum of 4 drives must be used from each player. The handicap allowance will be 1/2 the combined handicap of the 2 players in the team. Strokes will be according to the stroke index of the hole. So, a team comprising an 18 and a 36 handicapper will receive 27 strokes and a team with a 14 and an 18 will receive 16 strokes. In this case, the first team will receive 6 strokes for 9 holes and will get the strokes on the 9 on holes with SI 1 to 6 inclusive. The holes will be played as straight match play and the match will be determined as a win (1 point) or a half (1/2 point) for the 9 holes. The back nine will be played as four ball better ball. Each player in the team plays every shot at the hole and the best net score for the hole wins that hole. The handicaps for the four balls will be full handicap allowance stroking off the lowest handicap player. So, in the above example, the 14 handicapper will play off scratch, his partner will get 2 strokes and the players in the other team will get 2 and 11 strokes respectively. Strokes will be allowed according to the SI off the holes on the back nine. The four balls will also be match play with the lowest net winning the hole and the match determined as a win or a half. The nineteenth hole At the end of the round, each team should submit two cards signed by them and their opponents with the result of the foursomes and the four balls on 2 separate cards. The organiser will collect the cards and will score the matches in conjunction with the 2 captains. The overall result will remain a secret until the evening party. You do not need to tip the caddies – caddy tips are included in your entry fee. After the competition is finished and all players are showered and refreshed, the bus will leave for Pattaya. Players will be returned to their hotels together with your golf clubs. Bonus prizes There will be a longest drive and nearest the pin competition on the back nine. The holes where these competitions are running will be identified on your cards. The longest drive must come to rest on the fairway and will be marked with a stake and marker card. The stakes will be carried by the first match out and should be placed by them after the respective best shots in their match. If none of the players hit the respective fairways or green, the stakes should be left on the tee for the next group. If you beat the previous best for longest drive or nearest the pin, move the stake forward to the position where the ball came to rest and add your name below the previous entry. Remember, it is only your first shot that counts for these competitions – no mulligans (see below) or provisionals! We will also have some other "fun" competitions running during the matches - these will be announced the previous evening. Special rules - Mulligans If you don’t understand what a Mulligan is, ask the organiser at the launch party! Each player will be able to purchase up to 4 Mulligans for 100 baht each before RideHer Cup play starts. Cost per Mulligan is 100 baht each with money going into the Mulligan Baht Pool. 2 Mulligans may be used per 9 holes – 1 from the tee box and 1 from anywhere on the course excluding the tee box and green. No carryovers allowed. If you don’t use your 2 Mulligans on the front nine you lose them on the back nine. A little twist to add some spice to the event. Opponents can use appropriate (tee box or anyplace) Mulligans to make an opponents team member (not his partner) shoot his or her shot over again if you think your opponent's shot was too good or was just a lucky one. The reverse Mulligan cannot be invoked on the green. Obviously, you will lose that Mulligan for your own use if it is played on an opponents shot. No Mulligans can be used against opponents or for themselves when any longest drive or nearest pin prizes are being played for on the shot. Other special rules Any male player failing to hit his drive past the ladies tee box will have to play his next shot with his trousers round his ankles. Any 36 handicapper who plays an air shot – failing to connect with the ball when attempting to play it – will be permitted to play the shot again without penalty. If he or she misses with the second attempt, this will be counted as one shot. The pussy prize. The pussy prize will be awarded to the player who leaves a birdie attempt short of the hole by the longest margin. If a player has a birdie putt (only counts if the ball is on the green with the shot before the birdie putt) and leaves the birdie putt short of the hole, the opponents will be required to estimate the distance that the putt is short of the hole. The name of the player and the distance short of the hole should be reported to the organiser at the end of the round. Shortest drive. This competition will run at the same hole as longest drive. A stake for shortest drive will be provided to the first group and should be placed on the fairway at the distance of the shortest drive for their group. Players failing to pass this stake with their drives should collect the stake and place it back on the fairway (or possibly the tee or even behind the tee) with their name added to the list. The last group should collect the stake Furthest from the pin. This competition will run at the same hole as the nearest the pin competition. Same rules as the shortest drive competition. This stake will probably be found in some interesting places – it cannot be thrown in the water! If a shot lands in the water, the stake should be placed on the landside of the hazard at the approximate distance from the hole that the water shot landed. The Jontiem Beach Trophy. This is a new trophy for this year’s competition. It will be awarded to the player who takes the most shots to escape from a bunker on the back nine. Nominations should be given to the organiser at the end of the round and should be verified by the opponents. Players name and number of bunker shots should be submitted to the organiser at the end of the competition. The RideHer Cup presentation party The arrangements for the party will be announced on Sunday evening by Ben. Last year, it was decided that the losing team would pay a bar fine for each member of the winning team. This bar fine may be used at FLB on the night of the party. Any player who does not want to use the money for a bar fine may exchange the credit for liquid refreshment of any ladies of his or her choice. Last rule – have fun!!

Guys I would like to suggest that you send a message to Ben so that he knows you will need rental clubs. He might not have seen your post on this site. See y'all in Pattaya Doggie

Hilly [glow=red,2,300]She has said OK as long as she can play with Ben.[/glow] That's great news - everyone will be delighted that AM is joining in. And, of course she can play with Ben - I can't think of anyone else that would volunteer to carry Ben round 18 holes! I will let Deuce know that AM and Ben are a compulsory pairing. I have a mailing list for sending out the teams and the rules. I will add AM to the European Team and send you the final version of the rules when I have finished them - hopefully at the weekend. If you IM me your e-mail address, I'll put you on the list. My travel agent has finally managed to get me on a flight leaving Sunday 26th so I'll see you in Pattaya just as you are recovered from the jet lag. All the best to both of you. Doggie ......and I'm not counting..... [smiley=angel.gif]

Hilly Great to hear that you will be back in time for the RideHer Cup! But I am shocked and stunned that AM is reticent about playing - she was the absolute star of the event last year! What better way to bond with the caddies than sat next to one in a buggy with the opportunity to compare tits between the tees? So what if she hasn't played for a year - that puts her level with most of the European team. Can you convince her to play if we promise to let her have the very first pick from all of the available caddies? AM - please reconsider! :-[ :-[ :'( :'(

Ray I remember that day very well - I went straight out of the bar on to the golf course after Ben and I had taken all the girls from FLB out to a karaoke. Driving on the first tee was a bit of a problem. When I took the back swing, I fell over! Sorry to hear that you are out of town when the cup is on - we really wanted you to play. I will be around till 17th so we will have plenty of chances to have a game. Can you please IM me with the number of that caddy that you had the last time we played at Phoenix? I still have evil thoughts about her! What about your shopping list? Please IM or e-mail your requests and I will do my best to oblige (within reason!) All the best. Doggie

ff29 I will be playing for Europe this year if Deuce will let me! Right now, the USA have more players than Europe - 13 vs 9. I am hoping that Mr and Mrs Hilly might get back to Pattaya in time to play so this would mean that we might have to press gang one of the USA players to turn colours for the day. We are only too pleased to welcome former colonies back to the motherland! However, there is still a month to go and I am hoping that some more players will emerge. Great news about the party and thanks for the invite. I will be there for sure. I am not certain that it is a good idea to ply me with drink on the eve of the RideHer Cup. The last time I got blind drunk before a round at Kao Keoh I managed to shoot my best round of the holiday! You have been warned! See you in Pattaya and have a good trip. Doggie

Hi ff29 Some good suggestions regarding the use of mulligans - I would like to hear the views of some of the other players on ff29's ideas. Regarding the use of the proceeds, I would definitely go for option D! Thanks for displaying my butt in public again. I will make sure that we capture some other poor bastard with his pants down this year. The same rule definitely stands - any player that fails to hit his drive past the ladies tee plays the next shot with his breeks (trousers to the rest of you) round his ankles. Cheers Doggie

Steve O Thanks for the birthday greetings - much appreciated. I am delaying any celebration till I hit Thailand. I think that the mulligan purchase should be limited to 1 per 9 holes. Most of us will use that up on the first tee anyway! I will let the guys that suggested it in the first place propose some rules. As you say, the cost is insignificant compared with the money we lost to Kenny and his partner last year! See you in BKK. Doggie

One day a man, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the stunned man. ! With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him. Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts SLOWLY unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!"

Hi Deuce I am in training already. I have been gradually increasing my alcohol intake to get the liver in shape for a 3 week battering! Regarding the golf, the slice is coming along nicely - if I aim for the drop zone at the 17th there is an outside chance the ball will do its normal 45 degree right turn on to the green! The 17th would certainly be a good place for Pete to position his camera - it would also be my choice for nearest the pin. Roll on the 28th October!

I am proposing the same successful format as last year for the RideHer Cup. Selecting the matches All players meet up at FLB on the Sunday evening around 9 pm. Ben will collect the money and explain the travel arrangements. Team shirts will also be issued by Ben. The captains will then select the pairings and list them in the order of play. I would suggest that the 2 captains tee off in the first group so that they can be at the eighteenth green to support their players in the following groups. The matches Each group will play 2 matches with a point available for each match. The front nine will be played as foursomes. Both players in the team hit their drives and select which drive will be used. Thereafter, the players hit alternate shots. Over the 9 holes, a minimum of 4 drives must be used from each player. The handicap allowance will be 1/2 the combined handicap of the 2 players in the team. Strokes will be according to the stroke index of the hole. So, a team comprising an 18 and a 36 handicapper will receive 27 strokes and a team with a 14 and an 18 will receive 16 strokes. In this case, the first team will receive 11 strokes for 18 holes and will get the strokes on the 9 on holes with SI 1 to 11 inclusive. The holes will be played as straight match play and the match will be determined as a win (1 point) or a half (1/2 point) for the 9 holes. The back nine will be played as fourball better ball. Each player in the teams plays every shot at the hole and the best net score for the hole wins that hole. The hancicaps for the fourballs will be full handicap allowance stroking off the lowest handicap player. So, in the above example, the 14 handicapper will play off scratch, his partner will get 3 strokes and the players in the other team will get 4 and 22 strokes respectively. Strokes will be allowed according to the SI off the holes on the back nine. The fourballs will also be match play with the lowest net winning the hole and the match determined as a win or a half. There is a possibility that the SI's at Kao Kheow are set the same for both nines (because there are 27 holes at this course). If this is the case, I will set the SI for each of the 18 holes before you all tee off and mark these on your cards. At the end of the round, each team should submit two cards signed by them and their opponents with the result of the foursomes and the fourballs on 2 separate cards. I will collect the cards and will score the matches in conjunction with the 2 captains. The overal result will remain a secret until the evening party. There will be a longest drive and nearest the pin competition on the back nine. We will also have some other "fun" competitions running during the matches - these will be announced the previous evening. Some of you have suggested some additions to the rules to sell mulligans etc. I would like to get your opinions on these suggestions. If the majority are in favour, we should do it! I like the idea of "buying" a mulligan on drives with the money going into a drinking fund or maybe to charity. Please let me know what you think. I have explained the proposed rules in depth for the benefit of those players who do not normally play these formats. I am sure that the regular golfers will correct me if I have made any errors. Your comments and suggestions are eagerly awaited! I'm really looking forward to the event - it will lift me out of the deep depression that I am suffering as a result of turning 50 today! Only cure is to get blind drunk and have a ball in Thailand! All the best. Doggie

The event this year will be played at Kao Kheow according to Ben. I think that this is a good venue and they looked after us well last year. The closing 3 holes we played last year were quite tough so it should ensure an exciting finish for the fourballs if we can play the same 9 for the fourballs. I agree that the European team is light on low handicappers but our fighting spirit can spur us to victory. Remember the last Ryder Cup where everyone predicted that the likes of Tiger Woods and company would whip our arses. Thanks to our Nordic and Scandiavian players, we showed the USA how to play! I am sure Deuce will want you all to practice till your hands bleed to get your game in shape for the event!

St. Andrews 2000 GC This would win my nomination for the most ridiculous golf course I have ever played. The founders of the Royal and Ancient would turn in their graves if they found out that this monstrosity had been named after the hallowed ground! The course has 2 par 6 holes (that's right - par 6!) - one of them requires you to drive over the water on and then hit your second over the same bit of water. However, you can carry the water from the tee on to the main fairway if you hit your drive 90 degrees to the right of where the tee box sets you up! The rough is played as a hazard - course rules require you to drop within 2 club lengths and take a one stroke penalty. The course is in fine condition - it is just the layout and rules that are bizarre. My comments have nothing to do with the fact that I tore my card up after 6 holes when I played a medal round there! Play this one at your peril! Doggie

Natural Park Resort This is a challenging course with water and trees to contend with. The greens were in excellent condition the last time I played there. Fairways are undulating so you can end up with the ball above or below your feet. This is never a problem for me - I rarely have the good fortune to use the fairways. My natural game is to use the rough, water and sand as my preferred route to the greens. Some of the caddies are great fun - especially the appropriately numbered 13. She is built like a water buffalo and has a habit of grabbing your goolies when you are driving the golf cart along! Doggie

Doghaus - Europe Large

Deuce Nice decoy - you have succeeded in getting all the Americans looking at this post! An excellent weapon of mass distraction I think! I see that there is talk of an independent tournament adjudicator - this is an excellent idea. We wouldn't want to have the Americans lodging a protest after we have retained the trophy. Any nominations for this important role? It should, of course, be someone from a neutral country who knows how to check the score cards. Perhaps Pete would like to nominate someone? Of course, we will continue to discuss the real European strategy by e-mail. Doggie

Pie Just let me know whenever you know for sure that you are able to play. I guess we will still be accepting entries right up to a couple of days before (or even the night before) the event. We only need a rough idea of the player numbers so that we can reserve the right number of tee times and buy the tee shirts. I will pencil you in for Europe 'cos we are a bit short of players compared with USA. Hope you can make it. Doggie

Pie I hope that you can play in the Cup. Which team would you prefer to play for if you do make it? Carlsberg Your silence is deafening! Let's get this pricing thing sorted out to everyone's satisfaction and then we can close this thread down. The general consensus seems to be: Chicks on the course Buggies and tips up to the players and excluded from the package Some "extra" goodies for the golfers at the party compared with the freeloaders that will tag on! I am sure you can sort it. Doggie

I stayed at the Koenig in May/June of this year. It is attractively priced for a new hotel and I didn't find the location a problem. It is about 10 mins from Walking Street and there is a motorbike taxi hut right across from the hotel if you need to travel across town. There is a gay bar area nearby but I didn't get my arse felt when walkng through! Better luck next time eh! The rooms are of a good size with excellent airconditioning. You set the temperature and it has proper thermostat control. I took a corenr room for 800Bht which had a good fridge, king size bed and setee. The hot water and plumbing work well. The owner, Markus, is a good guy who will help out with any problems and all the staff are friendly. No joiners fee regardless of the quantity of visitors - just don't try to pull any of the bar staff when you have established a reputation as a butterfly. There are 2 bars but only one was open when I was there. Markus is German so the beer is always cold and the food is good. The only small complaints I had were that the safety deposit boxes are at reception and there is not a lot of sound insulation between the rooms. I am going back there in October so I must have liked it.