DAYS IN THE LIFE OF A PATTAYA HOTEL OWNER

[Shuggy 8]

Thats made my night Kevin. Havent laughed so much in ages.

 

Keep smiling mate

[EnglishPaul 3]

That was funny!

You did well to stay calm and polite

[wacmedia 277]

Hi,

 

You sure need patience working with the public.

[rainsberger 0]

Hi Kevin how did you manage to keep calm, but underneath i bet you were flaming at him.

And under your breath a quite **** off as a going away present.

Keep up the good work Kevin i do read your reports and know what you have to put up with.

[Braveheart 0]

I've often wondered how idiots like that are able to get along in life at all without a nanny.

[cookie 1]

Look guys I am no saint and keeping calm is not easy (and on occassions I lose it big time) but after 15 years or so of owning my own business in the UK and then 2 years out here 17 years of dealing with the public has taught me to control my temper as much as possible - for the sake of the business.

 

When you are in a busy place and have other customers around a shouting match is ALWAYS going to work against your business - the other customers would simply think it is was me, as the owner, being agressive as they were not privy to the whole conversation and will always, by instinct, take another customers side until or unless they know the full story.

 

and remember...... for every bad customer today there is always an even worse one tomorrow, LOL!!!!

 

note to self - buy a big gun..........

[Cennn3 0]

Great stuff, keep it coming. I really could not do that I would have told him he is an idiot and to **** off, but I got no patience.

[cookie 1]

grego - thanks mate, I have just sat outside the hotel with Mrs Boss and enjoyed the bottle of wine. I look forward to your next trip over when hopefully we can all sit down together and enjoy a drink. Cheers - top stuff!!

 

Best Regards,

Kevin

[short 215]

A business should never lower its behavior just because of a bad customer. This customer was clearly at fault. Not charging him was the right thing to do. It tells the world that you can keep things in perspective. Telling him to not come back suggests that maybe you hold grudges, but I can see how he pushed you over the edge.

 

Keep up the good work.

[Diverse 0]

Brilliant mate please keep on posting as it makes a change to see something really factual on the trials and tribulations of an ex pat hotel owner.

 

Just a thought but could some of the bar owners post something similiar as I am sure that board members would also enjoy it.

 

Cheers chap

 

Diverse

[Braveheart 0]

Just a thought but could some of the bar owners post something similiar as I am sure that board members would also enjoy it.

Hmmm? What about Hammer's 'Living theDream' thread which he does once per month.

[Jay097 2]

kevin, great reading & it gives a totally new insight in the daily problems

people that own a business in PTY have to face !

 

Keep it on !!

 

Jay

[moby69 6]

Ahhhhhhhhhh The joys of looking after the public

 

Enjoying the blog

 

Be Nice

 

Moby69

[poweroper 0]

Brilliant, hilarious. Must be true as I do not think anyone could make it up.

Please keep the posts going as I cannot stop laughing.

Only one thing, what is wrong with Inverness??

[cookie 1]

ISSUE 5 – Part I

 

I am sure you have already worked out by virtue that Issue 5 is in more than 1 'part' that this has just been one of those weeks. You know, a week where by the end of it you just want to reach for a gun and shoot everyone on sight. A week where one’s patience is worn wafer thin and just when you believe things cannot get worse, well, bugger me, they do!!

 

I have now got to use the F word. I do try to avoid it, I try to keep it out of my vocabulary at all times, but here, today, I have no option…so apologies in advance for those of you with a sensitive nature but I am going to say it….Frenchmen!!!!!!!!!!!

 

The F word or Frenchman visited 5 days ago. He and his Thai GF were shown a room, she did all of the talking as, of course, he could not speak English.... fortunately she was able to speak some French. She said they would take the room from the following day for a week and would leave a deposit. We explained to her and attempted to explain to him that the room they saw (303) had a customer arriving that afternoon, however, 203, an identical room on a lower floor, would be available for them tomorrow. The lady says this is good and they leave a B500 holding deposit.

 

The next day they return as planned, we give him the registration forms and then he pipes up with “you give me discount, I pay room when leave and you give me include free breakfast”. I am on the edge now with not only an F word standing in front of me but one that is barking orders at me! “No, sir, that is not the way it works, I own the hotel, I make the rules, you accept them or you go to another hotel”. He responds as you would all imagine “No understand, no speak English”. He then remembers the English phrase he trotted out moments before and repeats that standing hunched over the counter in a very aggressive posture. “Look, mate (screw “Sir” I have had enough already) if you give me B40m I will give you the hotel, you can then make up the rules and deal with all of the crap but in the meantime we do things my way”…er…. “No understand English” was the reply.

 

The GF (who I hasten to add was charming) was at this time speaking with my Receptionist and apologising for her mans behaviour “He is always like this…just so angry all of the time, always shouting at people for no reason”. The GF managed to speak to him sufficiently for us to strike a deal where he pays a deposit and half the room rent with the other half payable in three days time”.

 

Peace returns and the F word goes to his room. I sit down, light a cigarette and relax for the first time that day – 15 seconds later there is the F word shouting at the top of his voice in the, fortunately at that time, empty lobby. “You give me another room, other room I see bigger, why you not give me room I see yesterday” – obviously his remarkable on/off English speaking ability is presently turned to ON!! This time there was no Thai GF around to deal with matters and I knew my vain attempts were going to go deliberately ignored, but you have to try! “Look Sir (with the SIR being heavily accented and dripping with sarcasm) we explained this yesterday to your TGF at a time when your English speaking ability was turned to OFF. The room you saw yesterday was an example of the type of room we had for you. As it happens you have an identical room one floor lower and directly beneath the room you saw yesterday”. “Not understand, not speak English but room is smaller”. “No it is not bloody well smaller, it is the same bloody size, it is the same bloody room it is just on a bloody different floor”. At this point and before he can either get irate with me for shouting at him or he professes once more to not understand English the TGF appears.

 

The GF talks to my receptionist and Mrs. Boss who had ventured out of her office pretty hastily on hearing my raised voice. Mrs. Boss knows that when I start to lose it that the end of the world is possibly only moments away. The GF nods, she smiles and she accepts completely that the F word is in the wrong. She talks to the F word and he calms down whilst I simply stand there glaring and foaming at the mouth like some rabid dog. The TGF explains that everything is now OK – he was thinking about a different room they saw yesterday in a different hotel –“oh well that’s OK then isn’t it, that makes his behaviour completely understandable” I mutter under my breath as I walk away.

 

The F word has now been here 5 days and we exchange occasional nods and smiles and he is as quiet as a Church mouse, I even said “Bonjour” to him today and he lit up like a Christmas tree!! However, if that tale were the only brown stuff to have gone fanwards this week I would be a happy man but….see Issue 5 – part 2 tomorrow!!!

 

TO BE CONTINUED……

[Braveheart 0]

Well cookie I guess I can only say that it is a good thing you are not runnning a hotel in Canada. We have one full province and parts of a few others full of those 'F' word buggers.

[Skallagrim 0]

Now why do I get pictures in my head from Fawlty Towers whenever this thread pops up

[grego 0]

grego - thanks mate, I have just sat outside the hotel with Mrs Boss and enjoyed the bottle of wine. I look forward to your next trip over when hopefully we can all sit down together and enjoy a drink. Cheers - top stuff!!

 

Best Regards,

Kevin

 

 

grego - thanks mate, I have just sat outside the hotel with Mrs Boss and enjoyed the bottle of wine. I look forward to your next trip over when hopefully we can all sit down together and enjoy a drink. Cheers - top stuff!!

 

Best Regards,

Kevin

 

Your welcome Kevin i will bring a few more with mewhen i get back

 

Cheers Mate

[glynbuk 29]

has the F word paid fully yet or is that to come in the next instalment

[cookie 1]

glynbUK - The F word has paid and is a good customer now, he is, perhaps, learning how to cope with life in LOS now!

 

Skallagrim - I feel as though I am living in a Fawlty Towers reality show!! When you understand that FT was a parody of hotel life then you realise how damn accurate it was!!!

 

ISSUE 5, Part II.

 

You know that things have reached a pretty pass when you sit watching Fawlty Towers and nodding in agreement with Basil; feeling sorry for him and understanding exactly why he is so wound up all of the time. No longer are you embarrassed by his antics but you are actually willing him to go one step further, don’t just throttle Manuel or the annoying guests KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL!!! I even understand how Basil felt when he went to make himself some toast and a cup of tea and then go to sit away from everyone in his office and listen to his music – he was acting if he were a naughty schoolboy up to mischief when all he was doing was trying to have himself 5 minutes peace and quiet! Yes Basil I understand, I truly do!!

 

I know I am not alone here in Pattaya with my trials and tribulations and feel certain that most service sector business owners have similar stories to relate. Whenever I get together with another local business owner we can spend hours telling each other tales of what has happened simply over the last week or two – unfortunately I do not get to say very much as they have already read about mine through this diary!!

 

Now whilst what follows is about headaches given me by members of staff I want to make it perfectly clear that (a) I have now and in the past had some fantastic Thai staff who work very hard and are totally dedicated and ( in the UK over the years I paid many people a considerable amount of money who were equally as inefficient and bloody useless as some I have employed here – just far more expensive. I try to keep things in perspective and aside from all of the aggravation, laws and bureaucracy relating to UK employment law the wage roll there was about 50% of my total turnover whilst here in Thailand it is closer to 15%.

 

Anyway, I will continue with my latest travails. My brother-in-law, Pi, works for us covering the late evening and early morning shift from around 20:00 to 02:00 and then doing some odd jobs during the day. He is a top guy and although his English is limited he helps the other staff as and when they require and he is also a useful pair of eyes to ensure everyone remains honest when Mrs. Boss and I are not here. This week he has returned home for around 7 days to help his brother with the rice harvest so yours truly is covering his evening shift.

 

The next day the cook says she will have to be away for a week as her mum is sick and she is needed to look after her. I think about enquiring after cooks medical qualifications but realise that this is just me being sarcastic and I do understand the family ties that exist here. I simply have to accept this is part of life and that I will have to cover her shift from 08:00 to 17:00. Not good as I am now working from 08:00 to 02:00 with a couple of hours notional break in the early evening.

 

The early evening break quickly disappears as one of the Receptionists has a fall out with Mrs. Boss and does not bother to return – well fine, I need to now be around here from 08:00 to 02:00. Now if that is not enough the night time security guy tells us he cannot start until 03:00 as he has other commitments over the next couple of weeks – oh well, another hour – what difference is that going to make? I am now here for one week working from 08:00 to 03:00 – that is only a 19 hour shift!! Obviously I move back here from the new house for the duration, we are full so I have to sleep in the Penthouse which is presently undergoing refurbishment and therefore a building site!

 

I am now tired and overworked and a little testy and to add to the woes my ulcer starts playing up – I had some raw chillis with my Vietnamese take away and they get to me every time but still I refuse to acknowledge the fact! I have now had 2 nights with a total of 8 hours sleep followed by 2 nights with no sleep as a result of the bloody ulcer so that is 8 hours sleep over 4 nights and still 3 days at least to do. Now I can tell you anyone presently staying at the hotel will vouch for the veracity of this tale as they all comment on the fact that I appear to always be here – “appear”, shit, this is no magic trick, I AM ALWAYS BLOODY WELL HERE!!

 

I venture downstairs at 07:45 one morning to be met by the café music blaring out at a ridiculous volume and my night guy with his feet up on a table doing the crossword (badly) in a newspaper we have for our customers. Now as a person who needs fairly large measures of caffeine and nicotine to become vaguely human this is not a great start to the day. Later inspection finds that the night guy had obviously spent most of his time surfing sex sites on one of our computers and in a vain effort to cover his tracks deleted most of the programmes from the system! The night guy is fired!

 

Now you may have gauged my mood having read parts 1 and 2 and you may therefore, possibly, have an inkling of the way I felt when the cooks mother came in to the hotel this afternoon asking to speak with her daughter, apparently she had not been in touch for a couple of days so mum just wanted a chat!!!!!!!! I am able to personally confirm that the deafening explosion that followed was NOT North Korea undertaking a nuclear test in the heart of Soi Baukaow.

 

Anyone want to buy a business?

 

TO BE CONTINUED..….

[Braveheart 0]

The only thing worse than a liar is a bad liar, you can't even pretend they are telling you the truth. Hopefully things settle down for soon.

[deadman 0]

Anyone want to buy a business?

 

TO BE CONTINUED..….

don't sell just yet, i'll be arriving in jan for a weeks stay

 

[Kev 178]

Hey Cookie,

 

Sorry for your run of recent mishaps but keep the diary going as this is compelling reading for myself.

 

[blink 2]

Highly Entertaining Prose, Keep up the good work Cookie.

Somebody should tell you to take it easy & consider your health sometimes though perhaps (so please consider yourself told!)

 

 

Take Care

Edited November 15, 2006 by blink

[glynbuk 29]

staff problems sound bad for you, i hope everything sorts itself out and you continue with your report,

 

interesting reading and thanks for that