You want to talk about Collateral damage?

[Stinky 12]

So, as some may know, the wife and kids came to China for a visit. They just flew back to Thailand last night. They arrived on Saturday night around 11pm, and we stayed up and had Christmas (my family send gifts with my boss a couple weeks ago) until 2am.

 

Sunday morning, the wife gets up mid morning and starts cleaning my condo. I am all for that, as it needed a good cleaning. She uses the Detol detergent stuff on the bathrooms and toilets to get them extra clean. Again, they needed a good cleaning.

 

Around 1pm, everyone has showered and gotten ready for the day. I took them to Shekou, the farang part of town. We get there, and they choose a Thai restaurant for lunch of all places. Sheesh! It was okay though, as they have a buy 1 pint of San Miguel and get 1 free until 6pm. They ordered up the usual, Tom yum ghoong, moo yahng, pad pak kateum, and some others. I ordered some nachos hoping for the best, but they were terrible. The Thai food was too bland for them, but they ate it none the less. I helped them eat it as well as sharing my crap nachos, which the kids seemed to like?

 

A little shopping, and some walking around, and the wife is ready to call it a day. She is almost 5 months pregnant, and getting a little large. So the feet don't last as long as they used to. So we catch a taxi back to the condo. After arriving, they popped in some Thai dvd's and started enjoying a horror film before bed. And the wife wonders why the kids are scared of ghosts and wont sleep alone?

 

I pop a beer, and sit down in my easy chair. The movie sucked, even for Thai standards. I start to feel that rumble in the stomach. You know the one where you know you're either going to shit a goose, or puke your guts out. I sit a little longer to see which it is going to be. After about 20 minutes, it really hits me. I gotta shit! And I gotta shit now!

 

I race to the bog, barely getting there without shitting myself. Now to get my pants down without shitting myself. That's the hard part when you got to shit so bad. You are affraid to move, in fear the gates of hell will open, and the river of shit will rage out all over your clothes. I manage to get them down, and actually off, as I knew this was going to be a long one.

 

No more than I got sat on the bog, and I released the beast. It was massive. It was an explosion of liquid shit like the Earth had never seen before. Then I noticed a little burning sensation on my balls and my johnson. The shit was still coming out in large bursts, so no time to check on me bits. Fuck me! My balls and dick are really starting to fucking burn, but I can't get up because the shit is still gushing from my ass! Mother fucker my balls and dick are burning! I start pushing harder to get the shit out faster.

 

Finally, I think the shit is finished, and I leap up from the toilet and check my bits. Mother fucker! The left side of my ball sack is fire engine red, as well as the left side of my bell end. Fuck! they are still burning. I get the shower going and start rinsing and washing my cock and balls. The soap and water don't really help the burning.

 

I wash my ass, and srub my cock and balls a few times. The burning sensation doesn't stop though. I get clothed and get out of the bathroom. Wife asks what took so long. I told her I must have ate something, and had a massive liquid shit. She says, "did you wash the toilet off before sitting down"? DOH! MOTHER FUCKING DOH! That would have been great fucking information to give when you saw me rush to the fucking bog now wouldn't it have?

 

Clean toilets, explosive shits, and a chemical burnt cock and balls. THAT'S COLLATERAL DAMAGE!

[Alphonse 109]

So, as some may know, the wife and kids came to China for a visit. They just flew back to Thailand last night. They arrived on Saturday night around 11pm, and we stayed up and had Christmas (my family send gifts with my boss a couple weeks ago) until 2am.

 

Sunday morning, the wife gets up mid morning and starts cleaning my condo. I am all for that, as it needed a good cleaning. She uses the Detol detergent stuff on the bathrooms and toilets to get them extra clean. Again, they needed a good cleaning.

 

Around 1pm, everyone has showered and gotten ready for the day. I took them to Shekou, the farang part of town. We get there, and they choose a Thai restaurant for lunch of all places. Sheesh! It was okay though, as they have a buy 1 pint of San Miguel and get 1 free until 6pm. They ordered up the usual, Tom yum ghoong, moo yahng, pad pak kateum, and some others. I ordered some nachos hoping for the best, but they were terrible. The Thai food was too bland for them, but they ate it none the less. I helped them eat it as well as sharing my crap nachos, which the kids seemed to like?

 

A little shopping, and some walking around, and the wife is ready to call it a day. She is almost 5 months pregnant, and getting a little large. So the feet don't last as long as they used to. So we catch a taxi back to the condo. After arriving, they popped in some Thai dvd's and started enjoying a horror film before bed. And the wife wonders why the kids are scared of ghosts and wont sleep alone?

 

I pop a beer, and sit down in my easy chair. The movie sucked, even for Thai standards. I start to feel that rumble in the stomach. You know the one where you know you're either going to shit a goose, or puke your guts out. I sit a little longer to see which it is going to be. After about 20 minutes, it really hits me. I gotta shit! And I gotta shit now!

 

I race to the bog, barely getting there without shitting myself. Now to get my pants down without shitting myself. That's the hard part when you got to shit so bad. You are affraid to move, in fear the gates of hell will open, and the river of shit will rage out all over your clothes. I manage to get them down, and actually off, as I knew this was going to be a long one.

 

No more than I got sat on the bog, and I released the beast. It was massive. It was an explosion of liquid shit like the Earth had never seen before. Then I noticed a little burning sensation on my balls and my johnson. The shit was still coming out in large bursts, so no time to check on me bits. Fuck me! My balls and dick are really starting to fucking burn, but I can't get up because the shit is still gushing from my ass! Mother fucker my balls and dick are burning! I start pushing harder to get the shit out faster.

 

Finally, I think the shit is finished, and I leap up from the toilet and check my bits. Mother fucker! The left side of my ball sack is fire engine red, as well as the left side of my bell end. Fuck! they are still burning. I get the shower going and start rinsing and washing my cock and balls. The soap and water don't really help the burning.

 

I wash my ass, and srub my cock and balls a few times. The burning sensation doesn't stop though. I get clothed and get out of the bathroom. Wife asks what took so long. I told her I must have ate something, and had a massive liquid shit. She says, "did you wash the toilet off before sitting down"? DOH! MOTHER FUCKING DOH! That would have been great fucking information to give when you saw me rush to the fucking bog now wouldn't it have?

 

Clean toilets, explosive shits, and a chemical burnt cock and balls. THAT'S COLLATERAL DAMAGE!

 

OK, thanks(?) I guess, for the vivid post. Just possibly more detail than most of us would need to know....Hope your nether parts have recovered!

[jacko 8,814]

OK, thanks(?) I guess, for the vivid post. Just possibly more detail than most of us would need to know....Hope your nether parts have recovered!

I am inclined to think they benefitted from a good application of Dettol. Edited April 8, 2010 by jacko

[Stinky 12]

I just peeled the brown dead skin off my bell end this morning while I was filling the bog with chocolate soft serve ice cream. I haven't gotten around to checking if I can peel the brown dead stuff on my ball sack yet.

 

That fucking Detoll stuff is lethal on your private bits!

[Stinky 12]

I hope the brown dead skin is gone before Saturday. I got a little chinky coming over for the weekend.

Edited April 8, 2010 by Stinky

[MarsGodOfWar 8]

Maybe it's leprosy!

[Feileacan 32]

Have you been with any Russian birds. It sounds like the Russian STD "Rotyercockov"

[Chivas 0]

What part of covering your cock with Dettol is of interest to a Pattaya members forum ??

[Stinky 12]

What part of covering your cock with Dettol is of interest to a Pattaya members forum ??

 

 

You can vote with your clicker finger, and not open it right? By the way, have you been convicted of human trafficing and pimping yet?

[Chivas 0]

You can vote with your clicker finger, and not open it right? By the way, have you been convicted of human trafficing and pimping yet?

 

 

You crack me up numnut :D

 

Not even I can read what utter bollacks you've posted without using my "clicker finger"

 

Gormless prick.

[Gonzo Hunter 0]

I actually found this rather amusing. Not sure the Member's Bar is the correct forum for posting this, though.

 

Maybe the wife was sending our esteemed member's member a subtle hint to clean up its act and stop screwing around.

[LocalYokul 214]

kind of reminds me of aching member, I've got some sort of chaffing in the head & now it hurts to get a BJ

covered sex is pretty cool though, kinda like pain & pleasure all at once, not to mention it's kinda like whiskey dick, takes some doing to bust a nut

 

I hope that fucker is healed before I go visit the GIK in Rayong on Saturday though

[Desmond Jones 196]

Here is Krypto the phisher reminding all that baseball season has started.

 

First, the wind up

Then the pitch

[Stinky 12]

Here is Krypto the phisher reminding all that baseball season has started.

 

First, the wind up

Then the pitch

 

 

Oh Desmond, Desmond, Desmond. Or should I call you ThinWhiteDuke? While you are wasting away in your little hovel out in California, wishing you could shag something other than your right hand, I will be shaggin this tonight and tomorrow night. I will pump her a couple times in memory of you, and your pathetic life you lead.

Edited April 9, 2010 by Stinky

[sinbinjack 251]

That will be the Dettol then.I once many years ago asked a "friend" what to do about my erupting skin,he said have a bath with some Dettol in it.I did as he suggested and bought a small ,really quite small,bottle of Dettol and put it in the bathwater only to find that I felt as if my whole body was on fire from too large a dose of Dettol.I jumped out of the bath I had only minutes before entered and started to shower with cold water to try and get some relief.Suffice to say when I told my "friend " he laughed his bollocks off and "then" said your only supposed to put a small capful in a bath otherwise you will get a chemical burn.I can say from bitter experience that it will hurt for days ,you will itch for a lot longer and the skin on your bollocks is definitely coming off.

Mind you on thinking back, it did clear up the spots.