WTF were they thinking ?

[LocalYokul 177]

anecdotal stories from LOS, here's mine from today :

 

 

client is offshore, needs supplies urgently,

I'm digging for the items they need & believe me, dealing with Thai vendors can drive you a little bonkers at times

 

Got a quote in by fax, even though I'd sent the requirement thru by eMail.

NO delivery terms on it. How do I know when they'll be ready if I make an order ?, so on the phone I go.

 

Me - What's the delivery like ?

Her - If you order by noon today we can have it ready for pickup tomorrow at noon.

 

M - For all these items ? (I'm curious because item 1 is the most important & so far no one has it in stock)

H - Oh no, that item we don't have (but on the quote there's a price for it)

 

M - So, if I ordered it, how long would it take to get one ?

H - Oh NO, we cannot supply it, this part is discontinued !

 

M - But you quoted me a price for it ?!?!

H - (silence)

 

 

==========

 

 

Years ago, maybe circa 2005, the 7-11s had all been trained to ask if you wanted some Kanome Jeep or Sarapow along with the items you're purchasing

these are those little pork in a skins & white rolls with a filler that are in the steam cabinet.

I remember going up the counter on night & the kid asked me that, "Rup Kanome Jeep, Sarapow dooay mai ?"

At first I shook my head NO, but then I changed my mind on second thought & said sure, what you got ?

to which he answered "MOT !" (finished)

 

 

==========

 

 

Went to Federal Hotel on Soi 7 Suk. one day right around noon, 2004

Went up to reception & asked if they had rooms available.

Sure, we have aircon rooms for 700b/night & FAN rooms for 500b, which would you like ?

I'll take an aircon room, thanks

DTEM ! (full)

[Ass Bandit 0]

Fantastic, any more?

[LocalYokul 177]

yeah, once I sat watching some young guy working on my vehicle, he must have walked back & forth, 10 meters each way, to a portable tool box to find the wrench that fit.

 

I made him laugh when I picked up the tool box, carried it over & sat it down right next to the vehicle.

[LocalYokul 177]

last night KFC delivery boy was handed 500b for a 279b order, he gets his mobile phone (calculator) out to figure out how much change is due

 

I can understand if I had handed him 509 Baht or 359, LOL

 

 

how often do you hand a cashier extra change, say for instance 3 Baht so your item for 88 Baht has only two coins for change (5 & 10) & they hand it back to you, cause they already have a 100 note from you ?

 

can't be arsed to actually fuckin' think

Edited April 29, 2010 by LocalYokul

[Ergodyne 19]

last night KFC delivery boy was handed 500b for a 279b order, he gets his mobile phone (calculator) out to figure out how much change is due

 

I can understand if I had handed him 509 Baht or 359, LOL

 

 

how often do you hand a cashier extra change, say for instance 3 Baht so your item for 88 Baht has only two coins for change (5 & 10) & they hand it back to you, cause they already have a 100 note from you ?

 

can't be arsed to actually fuckin' think

 

I know exactly what you mean, you try to help by giving the odd amount of small change to round off what they should give you but most of the time they don't understand. There are a few exceptions, but i think it comes down to the fact that the till displays the amount of change they should give and if they have to think for themselves, it gets too complicated.

[MM 6,562]

I once ordered a bacon cheeseburger and onion rings at a bar/restaurant. The onion rings came within a few minutes, and I started on them, but didn't want to finish until my main meal had arrived. After 20 minutes, I asked the waitress to go check on my cheeseburger.

She came back and said "No have hamburger", and walked away.

I had to point out to her that the cheeseburger order should be taken off my bin!

[LocalYokul 177]

just the other day I bought something for 85b, so handed the cashier 105b, thinking I could leave with NO coins in my pockets. She hands me back my original 5 plus 3 more 5 Baht coins, DOH !

 

I asked if she had 20s, & finally got two 10 Baht coins which was better than 4 five Baht ones IMHO

[LocalYokul 177]

She came back and said "No have hamburger", and walked away.

the NO HAb thing AFTER the fact can really get on your nerves sometimes

even worse if they substitute something totally crap for what you ordered

 

there was a German restaurant on the way from Banchang to Map Dta Phut that we used to visit on Fridays

We went there for the last time when we ordered their sausage platter & it was those little pink hot dogs, cause they'd run out of sausages

 

building is still there, it kinda looks like a little castle, but it's long been closed down. Oddly enough I just noticed it's got a new paint job, but haven't seen any signs of it re-opening in a new guise yet.

[jasonbalmer 2]

At a restaurant on Beach Road on one of my trips ...

 

ME: Coffee, please. Black, no milk.

 

THEM: No hab milk.

 

ME: uh ... OK

[Ergodyne 19]

One of the best 'No Hab' stories i read was of the guy who ordered a meal in a restaurant, having waited some considerable time, he enquired how his meal was coming along, the reply was "No hab" " What, you don't have what i ordered ? " " No, no hab chef." The girl carried on doing her job of taking orders, irrespective of the fact there was no one in the kitchen.

[LocalYokul 177]

Amazing Thailand, bless the little darlings who can't think for themselves

[jacko 8,578]

At a restaurant on Beach Road on one of my trips ...

 

ME: Coffee, please. Black, no milk.

 

THEM: No hab milk.

 

ME: uh ... OK

Yes, I have wondered about the language block or is it a 'one thing at a time' brain block you get here.....?

Soda, no ice...'You want ice?'

Pepper steak, medium, with french fries.

'How you like cook'......

Err medium

'Chip or baked potato'...

 

So come on guys, help these poor gals out, one thing at a time.

[MM 6,562]

I went to a western style restaurant in Ao Nang. They had some beef dish and some meal with lamb on the menu board at the entrance. I sat down and inquired about the beef meal. The waitress didn't understand my question, so I decided to just go with the lamb dish and told the waitress I'd like the lamb dinner.

 

I ordered my drink and waited a bit. In fairly short order, the waitress brought be both the beef and the lamb dinners. Two full dinners with side dishes!

[kaiser71 30]

They're just helping you with the Buddhist concept of attachment.

You should thank them.

[awesum4 1,997]

I needed a new CD drive for my PC so went to the local shop arranged it all including price. Went home to get PC, was back in 15 minutes. Salesman was out so technician (who I'd talked to about what I required) asked if he could help. I had to explain all the details again. Went back home while he installed, was back in an hour. Technician was still only one there, asked me if he could help me. I had to explain everything, show him which was my computer, tell him the price. The thing that really got me was " he wrote a little program on his computer to work out my change".

No this wasn't in Thailand, but it sort of fits here I think

[Big_Brian 179]

Last trip I decided to buy a crash helmet because I was fed up with the filthy ones you get with a rental bike.

 

So, went to Carréfour.

 

Finally found the crash helmets after being directed over half the store - no change there then.

 

Once I found them, they had shelves of each type, so I chose the style/price and started trying them on. The first one fitted like a bowler hat, the second came down round my ears. So I asked the assistant for one sized in between "hassip, hassip" (I should know better).

"No, all same."

So I put the first one on again, then the second, "look, not all same".

"All same" - he was getting annoyed that I didn't believe him now.

So, I started along the shelf trying them all on until I got one that fitted and told him that one would do.

"Ahhhh, you want red one". And gets me a box with a red one in it.

I ALMOST left with it, but thought in time to try it on - bowler hat again.

I put the one from the box onto the shelf and the one from the shelf in the box and smiled at him, "OK, this one good".

When I left for the checkout he was looking at me like I was the Lunatic.

 

That it says "Pretty Lady" on the back is a bit worrying, but at least it's clean and it fits.

[lovedog100 1,372]

So I go into a restaurant in Chang Mai and order breakfast and coffee. The coffee comes iced, I look at it for a moment, then say I no like cold coffee, can you heat it up. Her: not understand Me: Not like coffee with ice, you can make hot? Her: no. Me: can get me new coffee hot, no ice? Her: No hab Me: don't you have to make coffee hot, then put ice in? Her: not understand Me: when make coffee, it hot. I want like that, no ice Her: no hab. Me: OK, never mind, give me milk Her: Milk? Me: yes milk Her: milk in coffee Me: No milk in glass Her: milk? Me: yes, milk in glass. off she goes and then she brings me hot milk, I look at it in amazement I say, I not like hot milk, like milk cold. Why you can make milk hot, but not coffee? Her: you want milk in coffee. Me: No, I want hot coffee or cold milk Her: No hab Me: you make cold milk hot, why not make cold coffee hot? Her; no hab. Me: OK, I can not drink hot milk, you have some chocolate to put in it? Her: Not understand. Me: you have chocolate to put in milk? Her: you want chocolate? Me: yes, I want chocolate in milk. Her: chocolate? Me: yes, I want chocolate in milk. Then she walks off, I'm sitting there wondering why she didn't take the milk with her. After a while, she comes back with a glass of cold chocolate milk. There was no winning with her.

[m62man 0]

I went to get a haircut and the Mamasan told me that the hairdresser would be back in 10 minutes and would I like to have my hair washed while I waited? I said I would go get a drink and come back, which I did about 20 mins later. The Mamasan washed my hair and then got on her mobile. Another woman came in and said "She say she go 7/11".

I looked at them and the Mamasan said "She coming. Don't worry".

Some minutes passed, so I asked again. The Mamasan said "Maybe she go home. You wait".

I waited for another 15 minutes and there was still no sign of her, so I got up and left, my hair like a mop-head.

I walked about 100 yards up the road and into another hairdressers. I declined the hair wash, and had my hair cut by a balding, fat, ladyboy. While this was going on there was a younger one in the adjoining chair doing his make-up. I thought it was a pretty girl until he spoke to the one cutting my hair - asking for tips on how to apply mascara no doubt!

The one cutting my hair kept leaning on my elbows with his crotch which was a bit off-putting, but he did a good job. I remember there was a thread a while ago about where all the old ladyboys went - well, I found one!

[LocalYokul 177]

So I go into a restaurant in Chang Mai and order breakfast and coffee. The coffee comes iced, I look at it for a moment, then say

 

I no like cold coffee, can you heat it up.

Her: not understand

 

Me: Not like coffee with ice, you can make hot?

Her: no.

 

Me: can get me new coffee hot, no ice?

Her: No hab

 

Me: don't you have to make coffee hot, then put ice in?

Her: not understand

 

Me: when make coffee, it hot. I want like that, no ice

Her: no hab.

 

Me: OK, never mind, give me milk

Her: Milk?

 

Me: yes milk

Her: milk in coffee

 

Me: No milk in glass

Her: milk?

 

Me: yes, milk in glass.

off she goes and then she brings me hot milk, I look at it in amazement

 

I say, I not like hot milk, like milk cold. Why you can make milk hot, but not coffee?

Her: you want milk in coffee.

 

Me: No, I want hot coffee or cold milk

Her: No hab

 

Me: you make cold milk hot, why not make cold coffee hot?

Her; no hab.

 

Me: OK, I can not drink hot milk, you have some chocolate to put in it?

Her: Not understand.

 

Me: you have chocolate to put in milk?

Her: you want chocolate?

 

Me: yes, I want chocolate in milk.

Her: chocolate?

 

Me: yes, I want chocolate in milk.

Then she walks off, I'm sitting there wondering why she didn't take the milk with her. After a while, she comes back with a glass of cold chocolate milk. There was no winning with her.

that is SO much more legible dude, jeez

 

reminds me of when I went to Best Restaurant here in Banchang on a Sunday morning hungover & asked them for a coffee.

They've got a fuck-off big Boncafé machine right there next to the cashier

 

After some quiet whispering among the waitress & the cashier they tell me that the person who knows how to operate the machine didn't come to work today, I left.

Edited May 6, 2010 by LocalYokul

[Fondles 94]

Thanks LY, I tired to read lovedogs post but gave up, it was giving me a headache.

[Ergodyne 19]

So I go into a restaurant in Chang Mai and order breakfast and coffee. The coffee comes iced, I look at it for a moment, then say I no like cold coffee, can you heat it up. Her: not understand Me: Not like coffee with ice, you can make hot? Her: no. Me: can get me new coffee hot, no ice? Her: No hab Me: don't you have to make coffee hot, then put ice in? Her: not understand Me: when make coffee, it hot. I want like that, no ice Her: no hab. Me: OK, never mind, give me milk Her: Milk? Me: yes milk Her: milk in coffee Me: No milk in glass Her: milk? Me: yes, milk in glass. off she goes and then she brings me hot milk, I look at it in amazement I say, I not like hot milk, like milk cold. Why you can make milk hot, but not coffee? Her: you want milk in coffee. Me: No, I want hot coffee or cold milk Her: No hab Me: you make cold milk hot, why not make cold coffee hot? Her; no hab. Me: OK, I can not drink hot milk, you have some chocolate to put in it? Her: Not understand. Me: you have chocolate to put in milk? Her: you want chocolate? Me: yes, I want chocolate in milk. Her: chocolate? Me: yes, I want chocolate in milk. Then she walks off, I'm sitting there wondering why she didn't take the milk with her. After a while, she comes back with a glass of cold chocolate milk. There was no winning with her.

 

Admire your patience, or maybe things were so bad it was a question of, "O.K. let's see how far this will go."

[Ergodyne 19]

I went to get a haircut and the Mamasan told me that the hairdresser would be back in 10 minutes and would I like to have my hair washed while I waited? I said I would go get a drink and come back, which I did about 20 mins later. The Mamasan washed my hair and then got on her mobile. Another woman came in and said "She say she go 7/11".

I looked at them and the Mamasan said "She coming. Don't worry".

Some minutes passed, so I asked again. The Mamasan said "Maybe she go home. You wait".

I waited for another 15 minutes and there was still no sign of her, so I got up and left, my hair like a mop-head.

I walked about 100 yards up the road and into another hairdressers. I declined the hair wash, and had my hair cut by a balding, fat, ladyboy. While this was going on there was a younger one in the adjoining chair doing his make-up. I thought it was a pretty girl until he spoke to the one cutting my hair - asking for tips on how to apply mascara no doubt!

The one cutting my hair kept leaning on my elbows with his crotch which was a bit off-putting, but he did a good job. I remember there was a thread a while ago about where all the old ladyboys went - well, I found one!

 

As a matter of interest, where was that ? i have tried many hairdressers but have been unable to find any decent stylists, i currently have a list of what i consider the worst hairdressers in Pattaya.

The only half decent ones have been where they have 'Ladyboy' stylists.

[LocalYokul 177]

possibly a month ago I had this chick that I used to screw over to my place.

When it started to get heated she made an excuse to leave.

 

Later she called me & said she wanted to be my GF & move in & everything, which kinda scared me.

She was also keen on telling me she didn't want to act like a prostitute.

 

I got in contact with her again & now she's saying she wants to come spend the weekend with me.

I call her to see when she's coming over & she starts acting weird then finally asks me if I won't give her some money to use.

 

My initial reaction was to just fuck her off & be done with it, but then I told her I'd give her a white note for staying with me Saturday night

so in the end she's going to do just what she didn't want to, act like a prostitute

[jte 1]

We bought my step son a motorbike.

About 6 months later I took my wife for a ride on it and the chain was loose and making a ratteling noise.

I told him to take it to the shop to have it fixed.

About 30 minutes later he comes back and the chain dosn't rattle anymore.

They took off the plastic chain guard that it was hitting.

Of course, the chain was still loose!

[lovedog100 1,372]

that is SO much more legible dude, jeez

 

reminds me of when I went to Best Restaurant here in Banchang on a Sunday morning hungover & asked them for a coffee.

They've got a fuck-off big Boncafé machine right there next to the cashier

 

After some quiet whispering among the waitress & the cashier they tell me that the person who knows how to operate the machine didn't come to work today, I left.

I have to say, you are right. I didn't realize how much dialog had gone on until after I had written it. I'll try your advice next time.

 

As weird as it sounds, I want back to the same place for dinner the next night. When I have the time and energy, I'll tell you how that one went.

Edited May 7, 2010 by lovedog100