BigusDicus

For some reason I am reminded of Forest Gump. "Stupid is as stupid does".

High Jump

QUOTE (nidnoyham @ May 8 2009, 01:33 PM) Just for you villa, Google iii, it is an investment website. On the Homepage, there is a search bar top right hand. Enter wkp.l and search share price. When the page appears for this company, scroll down to the box containing the biggest monthly movers by %. You will see some up in value by 200+%. That 'aint bad for a months investment eh ? 6 months ago they were all red boxes, down about 40%. Now they are all blue and rising. PS. From today they have changed the format. No monthly results to check out the big movers. They don't give the difference in daily trade volumes as sell or buy anymore either. The sight is becoming less 'new trader' friendly.

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in. One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a license for that thing?' Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. 'OK' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?' Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said 'On your way, Ma'am.' As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his 'You-Know-What' in his hand. Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel, 'Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again!'

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Bars on windows and housefires can be a bad mix.

The Lord teaches us it is important to have compassion for those less fortunate. I feel the need to feed her!

Funny, I often think the same thing. Of course it is not marmite I feed them..........

Brickies Laborer Working in Bangladesh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OISB65r2Cuc

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type...=0&oq=acmed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6rQGgsnaHk

There was a time when people said a black man would be elected president when "pigs fly" 100 days into Obama's presidency, "swine flu"

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra. 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says "A beer please, and one for the road." 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?" 7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual." 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy. 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any. 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!" 13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel. 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!" 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." 18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." 19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large. 21. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

It is a nice little place. I stayed there a couple of years ago. Rooms are small, plain. But clean and well kept. My memory is there was a safe in the room. Do not remember any noise problems. Pool area is nice, small. Nice little restaurant and bar area. Management friendly and helpful. Guest friendly. Security does not check ID's if that is a problem for you. My only complaint was the in room wi-f. It was somewhat 'spotty'. I make a lot of internet phone calls and download files doing business. The signal would drop suddenly, resulting in dropped calls, etc. For me it was not acceptable. For the average guy who just wants to check email, surf the web a little it probably would work fine. Managers told me some rooms worked better than others. Were full so unable to change rooms. There was a router antenna close to my room. I think they just had a overloaded system unable to handle the traffic. Perhaps they have upgraded since then?

Drinking with a Redneck A Mexican, an Arab, and a Redneck are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.' The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the A rab World, we hav e so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.' The redneck, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out his 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching his glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, he says, 'In America we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'

Who searches? It finds me....

Some of these are sick and some are just wrong! A whole lotta WTF's