BigusDicus

Ben and Jerry's is coming out with an unbelievable new ice cream. It is being churned in Washington DC and appropriately being named: Baracky Road ----half chocolate and half vanilla surrounded by fruits and nuts.

Very likely that is what happened.

Here's something to get your week started or cause you to enter a great emotional depression--whichever suits! This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer it will go to India. If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic). If you buy a car it will go to Japan. If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan. And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US

From now on, I fly first class… I always knew there was a difference

What game?

Boink me! What was I thinking Joe? I stand corrected. Thaksin Shinawatra is now added to the 'Official List'.

5 or 6 years from now

Then it is obvious. She should be spanked!

Correction: It is the Jews and GEORGE BUSH'S fault! Between the two one can account for just about every problem mankind faces. Any intelligent, enlightened and progressive knows that. Conservatives who watch Fox News could not possibly understand.

Not that I care...

A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and You're white?" His mother replied, "Don't even go there! From what I can remember about that damn party, you're lucky you don't bark!

The BlowJob

HOW TO SHUT A MAN UP, AFTER TAKING HIS REMOTE

Oh! I gasped.

Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally ??? . . . . . . Ever wonder why? . . . . . . . It's because she smells like a new golf bag!

This week's Time magazine Copy on sale Now!!!

What a way to go.... http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/...dBurn06-ON.html

is important!

http://blip.tv/file/1592405

The Shereton might work for you.

Do you know who makes the rules? As sportsmen, it is absolutely imperative that in all of the sports we engage, we, without hesitation, play by the rules. We take care to understand the rules, we discuss the rules amongst ourselves, and we study the rules. As golfers, we are ruled by the rules. Lord knows there are all kinds of rules in that game. And as citizens, we must follow the rules of law for so many things we do every day. But just in case you have been pondering this, all your life, as to who actually makes the rules, please note the following:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWiXy55OHyY