BigusDicus

I do not recall ever having any problems.

Your Technical skills Required !!! If anyone of you electronic guru's knows how to connect a surround sound DVD/VCR, please let me know. My new neighbor keeps on asking me for assistance. The wife complains about the time I am spending there, to try and help her - I really don't know how. Here is a photo of what the set-up looks like. Maybe you can help.......!!!

http://www.break.com/my-best-friends-girl/puppy-love.html

What a total piece of total shi........... But I gotta have one! http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony...stupid_piece_of be sure to watch them all

Very good!

Because spell check doesn't get everything

A man owned a small ranch in Wyoming. The Wage &Hours Board of the Wyoming State Department of Labor claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well," replied the farmer, "there's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally." "That's the guy I want to talk to ... the half-wit," says the agent. "That would be me," replied the rancher

Hundreds Protest Global Warming

HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S. Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened. 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme. 11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels. 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!' 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.' And; last, but not least: 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

China Air is a real pain when it comes to carry on. I do not think they would let you take your male apendage aboard if it was not attached. Other than carry on they are not bad.

I’m sure you have all heard the Christian Bale fuc$ing tirade all over the news, well some clever person mashed it with a Bill O’Reilly vid and put it on You Tube. Very clever and funny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbz6-7c_7Hk

Oh Gee! I would cry myself to sleep. Seriously - Recommend you stop be so overly sensitive and PC. Learn to laugh!

Don't cheat by enlarging the eye chart! Can you spot the 44th president of the United States of America in the chart below?

Don't just look quickly and think what's wrong with a butterfly. If you look a little longer, well I can't believe some girl would walk around with that on her back. But there again she may not have seen it and did just ask for a butterfly on her back!

Just in case any of you think you have a crappy job.

Ben and Jerry's is coming out with an unbelievable new ice cream. It is being churned in Washington DC and appropriately being named: Baracky Road ----half chocolate and half vanilla surrounded by fruits and nuts.

Very likely that is what happened.

Here's something to get your week started or cause you to enter a great emotional depression--whichever suits! This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China. If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer it will go to India. If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic). If you buy a car it will go to Japan. If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan. And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US

From now on, I fly first class… I always knew there was a difference

What game?

Boink me! What was I thinking Joe? I stand corrected. Thaksin Shinawatra is now added to the 'Official List'.

5 or 6 years from now