BigusDicus

Excellent!

New Pirate hat!

Washinton D.C. Madame arrested

But how could blacks be doing well after 8 years of Bush and the evil racist Republicans destroying the country?

But never quite this drunk!

Obviously it is Bush's fault

"This UK TV commercial for the Wilkinson Sword Quattro for Women Bikini razor would probably stir up some serious controversy in the US. I think it's catchy and memorable." http://creativity-online.com/work/view?seed=5284d9f5

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years He had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.. "Yes, Father?" said the nurse. "I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die", whispered the priest. "I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse. The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived. Harry and Nancy would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Harry commented toNancy "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." Nancy couldn't help but agree. When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Nancy's hand in his right hand and Harry's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Nancy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?" The old priest slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." The old priest continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."

good neighbors

During a recent poll in Washington D.C., women were asked if they would sleep with Bill Clinton. 84% responded 'not again.'

Agreed. I hold no illusions. Most polititians, left or right are slime.

An absolutely brilliant speech. Beautifully delivered. A vary talented man. He is going places...

Holistic Medicine Ahkmed the Arab came to the United States from the Middle East, and he was only here a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him. Finally, he went to an Arabic doctor who said: 'Take dees bocket, go into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put your head down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes.' Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes. Coming back to the doctor he said, 'It worked. I feel terrific! What was wrong with me?' The doctor said .... 'You were homesick'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiVcnJ5iLqs&feature=email

. A handful of 7 year old children were asked 'What they thought of beer'. 'I think beer must be good.. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.' --Tim, 7 years old 'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice. ' --Mellanie, 7 years old 'My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny.' --Grady, 7 years old ''My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.' --Toby, 7 years old 'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much. --Sarah, 7 years old 'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.' --Lilly, 7 years old 'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.' --Ethan , 7 years old 'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.' --Shirley, 7 years old AND THE BEST RESPONSE 'My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.' --Jack, 7 years old

Walking into a bar, Spanky said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie. "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Spanky replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say?" She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken-shit."

Was searching an old drive and came across these oldies:

Reload: You know you are hard up AND RETARDED when.....

You know you are hard up when.....

Good Blowjob?

Depressed?