wombat

[smiley=rotflmao.gif] [smiley=rotflmao.gif] [smiley=rotflmao.gif] [smiley=rotflmao.gif] [smiley=rotflmao.gif]

mate......make sure you start at the FLB.....under uncle Ben's tutorage your corruption/enlightenment will be memorable......have a fat time...... ;D

The following is a letter from a Thai girl to her parents, it has been translated into English. Dear Mother Father, It has been three months since I left you on the farm. I have been late in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY! Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window from the upstairs bar when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only get those sick headaches once a day. Fortunately the fire in the bar and my jump were witnessed by an old man passing by, and he was the one who called the fire brigade and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since I had nowhere to work, he was kind enough to invite me to share his hotel room and pay me 1000 baht a day to stay with him. It’s really a big room, and it’s kind of cute. with chains and leather on the walls. He is a very fine man and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be married. We haven’t set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my man has some minor infection from other bar girl which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am taking daily. I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your oft expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin colour is somewhat whiter than ours, I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too, for I am told that his father imports a white powder from his home that makes people happy. Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no bar fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant. I am not engaged. I do not have syphillis and there is no white man in my life. However, I am getting a “D” in History and an “F” in Science and I wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective. Yours - Your Loving Daughter

the original post turned out to be not worth a bumper so i deleted it........

[smiley=rotflmao.gif] [smiley=rotflmao.gif] [smiley=rotflmao.gif]

how true......lets face it ......if the punter had not been in LOS it would not have happened................thai logic 101.

muff diving available twenty four seven...... ;D.........if you tire of that then you can start with this link... http://www.101scubadiving.com/directory/pa...ingcenters.html

Q: What is the closest thing for a man to a woman's period? A: His salary. It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn't come, he's fucked!

this link to sandy springs hotel has a map http://www.sandyspringhotel.com/contact.htm

this link could help point you in the rite direction... http://www.nsihc.com/products.htm

;D.....i'm not going on holidays with you.... ;D

bub....bro.....i agree with everything you have said......i would suggest you read the "relationships and thai culture" part of this board at your leisure.

seperate falang from bag which then mysteriously vanishes from under counter???

mike100.....you are not by chance describing a new scam are you???

http://www.bahtbus.com/map/index.html this should help.......and if all else fails.....walk into a bar and ask if anyone there speaks english.

;D....the wombat dictionary......horticulture......ya can lead a whore ta culture but ya cant make em think...... ;D

dont know about cheap but i suggest you have a look at this site....http://www.nsihc.com/products.htm ......the last thing youd want or need is to have a megga fuck up in LOS and not be covered.

vitamin B is the vitamin that the imune system needs to work properly......i overdose myself on it using Berroca and i have never had any mozzie problems.........i have also fixed horses and dogs that have had "Queensland Itch/ecsma" using vitamin B.

Ferally Lovely Bodys

walk out of RG....cross the road.....wave down baht bus.....get off at soi 16 and walk to the end of it.....turn right.....FLB is on the left as you go up walking street.....10 to 15 minutes max depending on traffic.....http://www.bahtbus.com/map/map-walkingstreet.html

.Alcohol ban in Thailand over New Year It will be a dry New Year. Stock up your champagne and drinks before New Year! Govt moves to curb New Year cheer Restricted alcohol sales at food shops and restaurants between 11am and 2pm, and 5pm to midnight, between December 29 and January 4. BANGKOK: If you want to drink the year away, plan well. An unprecedented clampdown on liquor sales during the New Year is looming, and revellers had better stockpile booze and check the new alcohol sale times to prepare for parties, police advised yesterday. The government says it wants to reduce accidents over the festive period. Last year 562 people were killed and about 32,000 injured, mainly on the country's roads. The sale of alcohol will be restricted at most food shops and restaurants - from 11am to 2pm, and 5pm to midnight, between December 29 and January 4. "Entertainment venues" will be exempt from the clampdown, police said. Shop or restaurant owners caught violating the rules face up to two years in prison or a Bt4,000 fine, police said. Convenience stores, notorious for breaching liquor bans, will be closely watched. "If people want longer hours of fun, they can either go to entertainment places, which will open until 2am or they can simply celebrate at home and drink as much as they want," Thong Lor police station chief Col Somchai Into said. Police have been told to invoke a 1972 law introduced by coup-makers to enforce the liquor sale rules, he said. "We received instructions from the national police commission to launch strict surveillance of alcohol sales during the New Year period," Lat Phrao police station chief Col Somporn Tumsawat said. People found drinking in public places, such as in parks or by the road, between 1am to 5pm will be dispersed and told to go home, said Somporn. Those who resist could be charged with creating a public disturbance. "It's not that the government wants to be a kill-joy," said Somchai. "We just want to make sure alcohol is not sold in a chaotic way. Drunk people should stay at home, and not drive around looking to buy more booze." Convenience store owners said the measures were easier said than done, particularly over the New Year. "People celebrate all day and all night long," said one shop owner in Bang Na, who requested anonymity. "You just can't tell them when to start and when to stop. How many policemen do we need to enforce these rules?" --The Nation 2003-12-17

omj had been in business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet. After six months or so of total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a huge, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night... thought you might like to come... about 5:00." "Great," says omj, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you!" Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you... There's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem," says omj. "After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops. "More 'n likely gonna be some fightin' too." omj says, "Well, I get along with people, I'll be alright. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Lars turns from the door. "More 'n likely be some wild sex, too." "Now that's really not a problem," says omj, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?" Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."

i am sitting here salivating like pavlovs bloody dog after reading your post...........baby lobsters in garlic sauce ......kow kuk a bit (sp?) which was fried rice with egg, shrimp, and other stuff on top.

please take me by the hand and walk me through this one in easy steps and in english i can understand . ???

History Lesson > > > > Look what happens when a President gets elected in a year with a "0" at > the > > end. > > > > 1840: William Henry Harrison (died in office) > > 1860: Abraham Lincoln (assassinated) > > 1880: James A. Garfield (assassinated) > > 1900: William McKinley (assassinated) > > 1920: Warren G. Harding (died in office) > > 1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (died in office) > > 1960: John F. Kennedy (assassinated) > > 1980: Ronald Reagan (survived assassination attempt) > > 2000: George W. Bush ???????????? > > > > And to think that we had two guys fighting it out > > in the courts to be the one elected in 2000. > > > > You might also be interested in this. > > Have a history teacher explain this if they can. > > > > Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. > > John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. > > > > Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. > > John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. > > > > Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. > > Both wives lost a child while living in the White House. > > > > Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. > > Both Presidents were shot in the head. > > > > Now it gets really weird. > > > > Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. > > Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln. > > > > Both were assassinated by Southerners. > > Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson. > > > > Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. > > Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908. > > > > John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. > > Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. > > > > Both assassins were known by their three names. > > Both names are composed of fifteen letters. > > > > Now hang on to your seat. > > > > Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford." > > Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford." > > > > Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. > > > > And here's the "kicker": > > > > A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. > > A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe. > > > > AND.....................: > > > > > > > > Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a > > warehouse... > > Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran > to > > a > > theater...