blonde joke

[tom21 19]

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk

 

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

 

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

 

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my face".

[funkpit 0]

what is the difference between a blond and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

 

what is the difference between a blond and a toilet? The toilet doesn't follow you around after you're done using it.

[Bushcraft 2,572]

What's the difference between a woman and a fridge?

A fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

[nohlsson1 19]

Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?

Because their boy friends are blonde too!

Edited June 6, 2007 by nohlsson1

[gunshy 0]

A blonde goes to the pharmacist and asks for rectum deodorant to which the pharmacist replays they is no such thing. The blonde says she gets it all the time so the pharmacist asks her to go get the the empty container. She goes home and gets the container and brings it back to the pharmacist to which the pharmacist tell the woman the she has just regular deodorant. She tells the pharmacist no read the directions which it says push up the bottom.

[nohlsson1 19]

A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she

hasn't done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult

video.She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while,

selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some

candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.To

her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls

the video store to complain.Mary: "I just rented an adult movie from you

and there's nothing on the tape but static."Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've

had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"Mary:

"Head Cleaner."

Edited June 15, 2007 by nohlsson1

[Dave16 1]

If you see a brunette sitting between 2 blondes what is she? The interpreter.

[joekicker 53]

Hope this isn't a repeat. I can't remember where I got this. My apologies if I stole it here. But it is a wonderful oldie and goldie:

 

A blind man makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

 

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

 

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

 

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

 

2. The bouncer is a blonde "biker girl."

 

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

 

4. The woman sitting next to me is a blonde and a professional weightlifter.

 

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now. Think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?"

 

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[havefunme 3]

same as i remeber it but still good

[matey 0]

hi thanks to all who posted above , i am a bit down at the moment and reading these has put a smile back on me face

 

regards matey

[handsumman 0]

Why do blondes like convertibles?

 

A: More leg room

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

Why don't blondes like vibrators?

 

A: They chip their teeth

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

Why are blonde jokes so short?

 

Wait for it............ ( drum roll ) ................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A: So brunettes can remember them

[kaiju 0]

Why can't blondes make ice?

 

 

A:They forgot the recipe.

[smullenpe 0]

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the

mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole

family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with big gift

envelope.

 

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing

lures.

 

At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations,

farewells, cards, and gifts.

 

At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde

in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through

the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the

bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison.

 

Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast:

eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange

juice.

 

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As

she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, but what's the

dollar for?"

 

Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your

last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what

to give you." He said, " Screw him.......give him a dollar."

 

The blonde then blushed and said, "The breakfast was my idea."

[Sex Kitten 0]

FACT...Blondes have more fun..

 

FACT...This Blonde pays her way!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love Di...

[1234 0]

A blond prostitute said to her punter-customer after the lousy shag & payment, " I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant to have a candle light dinner & say those sweet three words to u,....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"PAY THE BILL".

[soi unwise 6]

Great tits Kitty but are u blonde ALL over ??? Or does a ginger minge hide there ?

[Montydog 135]

FACT...Blondes have more fun..

 

FACT...This Blonde pays her way!!

Love Di...

 

Blond? With those roots?

[Sex Kitten 0]

Blond? With those roots?

 

 

Yes my hair colour did need a touch up...LOL

 

I am dark blonde naturally....

 

Love Di...

[sinbinjack 244]

The roots may be a little dodgy but the rest of you ain't half bad.

[Sex Kitten 0]

The roots may be a little dodgy but the rest of you ain't half bad.

 

 

LOL Being in Thailand 6 to 8 weeks at a time, its very difficult to find a stylist who can do what I want.

 

Its like looking for Rocking Horse shit LOL...

 

Unfortunately I cant take my stylist with me LOL....

 

Di...

[gizmo 0]

you should take the stylist

and leave Peg at home!

Cya soon Di!

[pattaya_mad 208]

Di..I would

[Krowdon 0]

Some cute jokes. :) Keep 'em coming!

[SOLOTREKKER 0]

It amazes me why cute attractive blondes ( see SK) with a nice looking style, Dye their roots, LOL,

[SteveB 1]

FACT...Blondes have more fun..

 

FACT...This Blonde pays her way!!

Love Di...

 

Love them tits. Sorry for being rude.

 

 

Honey if you have any more pictures of yourself I would love to see them, please.

Edited September 26, 2007 by SteveB