Bar Humor

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[BigusDicus 9,878]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[VPI78 11,498]

[BigusDicus 9,878]

[BigusDicus 9,878]

[BigusDicus 9,878]

On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of

the South Pacific, the following people are stranded:

 

* Two Italian men and one Italian woman.

* Two French men and one French woman.

* Two German men and one German woman.

* Two Greek men and one Greek woman.

* Two British men and one British woman.

* Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman.

* Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman.

* Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman.

* Two Irish men and one Irish woman.

* Two American men and one American woman.

 

One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted

islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things

have occurred:

 

* One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

* The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.

* The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

* The two Greek men are sleeping together and the Greek woman is cooking and cleaning for them.

* The two British men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the British woman.

* The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island..

* The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

* The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant, and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply more employees for their stores.

* The two Irish men divided the island into north and south and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few pints of coconut whiskey. However, they are satisfied because the British are not having any fun..

* The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this forsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping.

[BigusDicus 9,878]

[yorta2 693]

[yorta2 693]

[Pine Tree 252]

On 4/30/2019 at 3:45 PM, Bob Belzy said:

Oh I don't know, depends on what the rest of her is like  

[BigusDicus 9,878]

[BigusDicus 9,878]

[BigusDicus 9,878]

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Will you give me a drink if I show you something you’ve never seen?” The bartender nods and the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a little man about a foot tall, along with a tiny grand piano and sets them on the bar. The little fellow starts banging out tunes from Beethoven to blues. 

 

The bartender pours the promised drink and says,”Where’d you find that little fella?”

 

“I was in Ireland last year, and I helped a half-deaf leprechaun out of a tight spot, and he granted me a wish.”

 

“And you wished for a twelve inch pianist?”

 

“Well, I told you he was hard of hearing.”

 

 

 

 

Edited August 13, 2021 by BigusDicus

[BigusDicus 9,878]