Monkeywatch 20th Anniversary Edition - May 2026

[monkeyman]

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap encore une fois (pretentious, moi?), and welcome to our 20^th anniversary edition as we trawl our way through another feast of faeces and look at what’s been occurring around Patts of late.

Well, the big news of the last month has been the exorbitant 50 percent rise in baht bus fares. Yes, for the first time in 30 years, fares have gone up and it’ll now cost you an eye-watering 15 baht to travel on one of these things. It’s enough to make expats pack up and go home, isn’t it? Or maybe nobody actually gives a shit.

And if that wasn’t enough, the ferry fare from Pattaya to Koh Larn has risen for the first time in 16 years from 30 to 40 baht, though passengers are being promised a 10 baht refund if it sinks.  

Pattaya officials were brought in to investigate after a Thai couple were reported for sleeping outside a shop and scaring off the customers. Would the average shopper really have the shit scared out of them by a couple of sleeping Thais? Doubt it. Bloody snowflakes.

Pattaya is installing some more rinse stations after a poll suggested that tourists think the city is the ideal place to get rinsed…

 

City workers were faced with a bit of problem when they were clearing structures encroaching on public land and came across a spirit shrine. They resolved the situation by offering appropriate reverence to the shrine before driving a bulldozer through it. Respect.

A Chinese barber has been taken into custody after being caught working illegally in Pattaya. As a result of this, 200 Chinese tourists have also been arrested for being in possession of illegal haircuts.

A man took exception to another man who was taking the piss by taking a piss on a Pattaya street so he persuaded the fellow to stop by punching him unconscious. Nothing like settling a dispute with constructive criticism.

He must be a bloody big bloke…

 

Bar news now, and it’s a tale of closures throughout the city. Dirty Money A Go Go on Soi Buakhao has closed, as have Abyss and Identi on Walking Steet. Milk on Soi Diamond has also gone and been replaced by Vicky’s Secret (whatever that is.)

The Thai film “9 Temples to Heaven” has been chosen for showing at this year’s Cannes Film Festival. It was brought in as a last-minute replacement for the Pattaya-based feature “Invasion of The Head Wobblers” when it was discovered that this wasn’t in fact a science fiction movie but a documentary.

Thailand has yet another new initiative in the offing called “Clean Your Air Conditioner for the Nation.” That should really pull the tourists in.

It’s yesterday once more time with a peek back at Monkeywatch in May 2016…

“A crackdown has been ordered against illegal signs as they “block the scenery and make the area look ugly”. If that’s true perhaps they should consider a crackdown on Chinese tourists as well.

The former Secretary to the Minister of Education celebrated his 64^th birthday last week at his Pattaya home. Christ, that must have set the local society calendar on fire. No wonder then that the media saw fit to report on this fascinating event. And they call that news? They’ll be reporting on somebody falling into a fish pond next.

It’s been reported that a Thai man fell into a fish pond in South Pattaya last Friday. The incident took place in a temple on Moo 10. A spokesman said “The man is as well as can be expected under the circumstances. He’s dead.” He was apparently discovered by a monk while he was cleaning out the pond. Well, you know how it is. You’re cleaning out a fish pond, your mind on other things. You probably don’t notice the odd corpse floating around for a while.”

This year’s Pattaya Ladies Circle photographic competition has been won by this picture, entitled “Farang Quartet”…

 

A Thai pensioner who withdrew 200,000 baht from her bank and stuck it in a glass jar because she was afraid of online scammers was more than a little miffed when she returned from a temple and discovered that her glass jar full of money was now just a glass jar. She’d apparently been planning to spend the money to repair damage to her house caused by termites. Perhaps they ate the money as well.

A pissed up Thai woman who was found collapsed at the side of a Pattaya road was taken into custody after she insisted she’d been assaulted by a street light. All the street lights in the area have since been questioned but none of them seemed to be prepared to comment.

Finally, police were called by Pattaya hotel staff after they found a tourist pissed as a rat asleep in their reception area. It transpired that in his drunken stupor he’d wandered into the wrong hotel – he was actually staying in Chiang Mai.

be seeing you

monkeyman

[knortyboy]

Brilliant, as usual. 🙏

 

Here's to the next 20 years 🍻

[teelack]

Keep them(and yourself) coming. Always appreciate the effort. 

[Bushcraft]

Congrats on 20 years, keep 'em coming mate.

[Bruce Mangosteen]

On 5/22/2026 at 2:50 AM, monkeyman said:

 

Next to the weed shop in front of the LK Empress?

Congrats on 20 years, been a fan if a quiet one.

[monkeyman]

5 hours ago, Bruce Mangosteen said:

Next to the weed shop in front of the LK Empress?

Congrats on 20 years, been a fan if a quiet one.

The exact location. Well spotted.