BigusDicus

"Am I Gay?" Self Examination 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Fl aaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. 3. I f you suck on lollip ops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too. 6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious. 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

Golf is good for your health! Irish is optional. An 80-year old Irish man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?' I'm Irish and I am a golfer,' says the old guy,' and that's why. I'm in such good shape.' I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of whiskey and all is well.' 'Well," says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?' 'Who said my Dad's dead?' The doctor is amazed "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?' 'He's 100 years old,' says the Old Irish golfer. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the beach for a walk , that's why he's still alive ... he's Irish and he's a golfer, too.' "Well," the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?' 'Who said my grandpa's dead?' Stunned, the doctor asks, 'You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?' 'He's 118 years old,' says the Old Irish golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?' 'No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.' At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?' 'Who said he wanted to?'

Do they have in room Internet access? WiFi or hardwired?

"We currently have adsl internet connection in the bar but wifi internet service should be installed by the 22nd of march 2007 ." Is it installed and functioning properly in all rooms?

Yes, very nice! Thank You.

I stayed at Ma Maison last November for a few days. Nice little place in a great location. Small but comfortable rooms. Nice restaurant, bar, and pool area. My only complaint was the Internet. It was somewhat intermittent, especially at night (when I needed it most). I do business from my room. Internet phone calls in particular would drop mid conversation. I had to move to another hotel. BUTT! If reliable Internet is not a major concern (like it is for me) I would highly recommend this place.

You are correct on may points. Having said that I would argue Tequilla Reef has the best Mexican food I have eaten in Pattaya. Certainly some of their selections are better than others. Overall John and Darrell do a good job. Usually a friendly atmosphere and a good place to meet fellow Americans.

Do they have a website?

Interesting idea. Has it worked? Was there an extra charge?

I have stayed at Nova several times over the years. Nice location. Great pool and gardens. Good buffet breakfast. It has been at least 2, perhaps 3 years since I stayed there. They told me then the place was slated to be torn down and rebuilt in 3 or 4 years. I am reasonably sure I saw the web site you referred to back when I stay with them. It did not seem to me the rooms had been refurbished in the recent past. They were "dated", somewhat worn. Not really that bad. Reasonably clean and comfortable. But no safes or Internet in the room. Today those are essential for me. I doubt very much they have gone through any kind of serious renovation since I stayed.

I fully appreciate your point. Do not necessarily disagree with you. I am fortunate enough to enjoy a very good lifestyle here in America. Much better overall than what LOS could offer me (at this point). BUT! I seem to spend a lot of time thinking about those 20-somethings....... Not that I do not try-but I just do not seem to score with them that often here anymore.

QUOTE(pattayachip @ Jul 2 2007, 08:08 AM) to me one thing allways holds true,whatever you are living on back home,you could live much better on the same amount in thailand One has to compare apples to apples. "Much better" could be an individuals perspective. If a never ending choice of young, cute 20-somethings available anytime you want is important to you, Pattaya certainly has its advantages. Not that I do not try but I just do not score with 20 somethings that often anymore here in the USA.

Reminds me of: What do a brick and a fat chick have in common? Sooner or latter they are both going to get laid by a Mexican.........

Sa-teef, Keerati Home looks interesting. I am having trouble finding their website. In room Internet is important to me. I need to make and receive calls over the Internet to attend to business. Did you use the in room internet? Is it wireless or hard wired? Is there an in room safe? Thanks

Excellent. Thank You very much.

I have looked at this resort before. Never stayed. Have just looked at their web site. Cannot find much information regarding Ruan Thai Bungalows (see rates for Ruan Thai Villas, etc.). Cannot see any descriptions or pictures. A brief description and the prices you paid would be appreciated. I will be in Pattaya late Oct. thru most of Nov. In room Internet is very important to me. How well does it work? Did you utilize this service or talk with other guests who had?

QUOTE(mrstein @ Jun 3 2007, 08:22 AM) So really the magic number is about 100,000 baht a month which is about 2500.00 a month US $$ Thats quite bit a money.Hell many folks live fairly well on that in the usa ESP if you have No mortage. Ah, the Point of the Point! Young girls, Pattaya - all you can eat, or back home - once in a blue moon. Apples 'n' Oranges

Does/Will the WiFi internet work in the guest rooms?

That makes sense. Of course I was looking at things from a mongering point of view. Ha ha. Guess there are others out there too...

Does anybody know why prices are much higher during the lowest season? Jun-Sept.

Captain, Not sure what your needs are. When I visit from the states I need to be able to sit in my room with my laptop and both make and receive calls. I have been using a service called NetZero Voice. For $15.00 per month you receive a "land line" phone # with the area code of your choice. You may make calls to other land lines within the US, Canada, etc. for no charge. Others may call you at your assigned number with no charge to you. I forward both my cell # and land line to my NetZero assigned number and it rings on the computer or goes into voice mail. Most of my clients do not even know I am abroad. You can sign up for as little as one month. And the first month is free. Have used it the last 3-4 trips. You need a broadband connection. I use Vonage for my landline at home too. The problem with bringing your Vonage router with you is your home will be left without service if there is anybody there

Gee wiz. I have flown the LAX - BKK nonstop round trip several times now. It was really nice, saved several hours flying time. And the hassle of changing planes and sitting around Japanese or Taiwanese airport's in a jet-lag stupor. I would imagine Thai Air is forecasting a drop in US citizens traveling to Thailand. Many reasons for the decline, falling dollar amongst them.

I agree with Owen on this. I have been visiting Pattaya for 10 years and heard many stories similar to yours. If your condo is in both you and your wife's name, your chances of being awarded financial compensation are slim. If it is in just her name the chances are nil. I believe Owen's point is why give money to an attorney who will tell you what you want to hear just to be able to bill you hours. Attorneys will slime you in any country. Thailand is even worse (if you are a falang). An expensive lesson learned. Good Luck to you. "First, kill all the lawyers". William Shakespeare

Once upon a time, on a tropical island a retired corporate executive decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life... until the boat sank! He found himself on an island with no other people, with no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day, when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?" She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you." "Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, where did you get the tools?" "Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable, ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few hours of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls out off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home sit down, please. Would you like a drink?" "No. No thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?" When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and flowers strategically positioned, and smelling of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months?" She stares into his eyes and takes his hand in hers. He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean ..." he swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes... "... I can check my Email from here?"

Irish Alzheimer's Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?" Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn came to church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat." The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?" Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all." The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell, right ?" Murphy slowly shook his head and said, "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' I remembered where I left me hat."