BigusDicus

The teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered," she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. "Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard! "That must've been scary," said the teacher. "It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... And before he could say "F*ck," the rottweiler ate him!"

Anybody hear more on the rumour of Thai Air beginning service BKK -CRK (Angeles City) in November? I have just checked their website, no mention of it

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 9' high and sets him on the counter He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful Piece by Mozart! 'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. Hehands it to the bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.' So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. 'I will grant you one wish... Just one wish... each person is only allowed one!' The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, 'I want a million bucks!' A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soo followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming! The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know, I think your Genie's' a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million Ducks.' 'No kidding!!' says the man, 'do you really think I asked for a 9 inch pianist?'

God Bless

What about crocadile handbags? I have purchased a few over the years. Any particular places where the quality and prices are good

I wonder if "Boutique" farming might make sense? Someone suggested you do careful market research. Why not visit with the chefs at the finer hotels and restaurants. Ask them what they would like that they currently cannot easily buy. Forecast their usage. There have got to be many items that chefs would love have. On similar subject; a couple of years ago I ran into someone at TQ1. He was somehow involved with a new winery somewhere outside of Pattaya. I had a couple of newbies in tow and was too busy to find out as much as I would have liked. I am curious as to how they are doing? Does anybody know?

Absolutely agree!

You probably got it from visiting a website. It is amazing what you can pick just by clicking onto a site. Joe, My guess would be the phone call is where they nailed him. He will find out soon enough.

Ad Aware is very good. I use it along with several others. http://www.lavasoft.com/products/ad_aware_free.php is a link to their website for the free version. I do not think you could have been billed anything that you would be legally bound to. I assume you did not give them a credit card #. What was the # you dialed? Have you checked your phone bill yet?

Perhaps I should clarify. I was asking if Tim's Boutique Hotel is guest friendly?

Are they guest friendly?

Bill brings up several very good points. Another consideration is the armrests on each side of the seat in economy fold up. On those (increasingly rare) occasions when you have an empty seat or two next to you you can fold the arms up and stretch out across the seats. The armrests in the premium economy are fixed I believe(?). I have never flown premium, several of my friends who have flown with me have. I believe it is the same basic food, drinks, etc.. Not worth an extra $400 to me (must be the frugal Scottish side of me showing). I am not a large person, do not feel particularly uncomfortable in the economy seats. I typically get on the plane, let them feed me, have a glass of red wine, pop an Ambien. I usually sleep 6 hours or so, wake up, let them feed me, another glass of red wine, another Ambien and a movie. Sleep another 5 hours or so. Like Bill I am flying LAX/BKK. I wake up an hour or 2 before we land at 06:30. Usually in good shape when we land. Hop in a car, ride down to Pattaya, check into my hotel. Unpack, shower and walk around the corner to TQ to begin my Pattaya Adventure. Since Thai began their LAX/BKK non-stop they are the only way to fly. Generally Thai Air non-stop is $200-300 more than an airline tha connects in Japan, Taiwan, or wherever. 17 hours versus 22-23. $250 extra is worth it to me (must be the practical English side of me). Not much longer till November!!!

Wasn't it Milton Berle who said that every joke has been written, they are just retold? seems to me he wrote a book that claimed to have everyone of them.

Last Tuesday, as President Bush got off the Helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says, "Nice pigs, Sir." The President replies "These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Senator Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi." The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and says, "Excellent trade, Sir."

If one has to go, why not on a bar crawl?

As much as I enjoy blonde jokes... I want to see more of Sex Kitten's tits!

Guys, I have been to Pattaya many times over the last 10 years. Never spent time in Bangkok. A couple of friends/clients will be staying at the Swissôtel Le Concorde when I arrive in a few weeks. Thinking of spending a few days. Bangkok cannot be that bad!!!! Question: Is Swissôtel Le Concorde anywhere near "the action". Are they girl friendly? If not, how far and how much?

"Am I Gay?" Self Examination 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Fl aaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. 3. I f you suck on lollip ops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too. 6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious. 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

Golf is good for your health! Irish is optional. An 80-year old Irish man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?' I'm Irish and I am a golfer,' says the old guy,' and that's why. I'm in such good shape.' I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. Have a glass of whiskey and all is well.' 'Well," says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?' 'Who said my Dad's dead?' The doctor is amazed "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?' 'He's 100 years old,' says the Old Irish golfer. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the beach for a walk , that's why he's still alive ... he's Irish and he's a golfer, too.' "Well," the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?' 'Who said my grandpa's dead?' Stunned, the doctor asks, 'You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?' 'He's 118 years old,' says the Old Irish golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?' 'No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.' At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?' 'Who said he wanted to?'

Do they have in room Internet access? WiFi or hardwired?

"We currently have adsl internet connection in the bar but wifi internet service should be installed by the 22nd of march 2007 ." Is it installed and functioning properly in all rooms?

Yes, very nice! Thank You.

I stayed at Ma Maison last November for a few days. Nice little place in a great location. Small but comfortable rooms. Nice restaurant, bar, and pool area. My only complaint was the Internet. It was somewhat intermittent, especially at night (when I needed it most). I do business from my room. Internet phone calls in particular would drop mid conversation. I had to move to another hotel. BUTT! If reliable Internet is not a major concern (like it is for me) I would highly recommend this place.

You are correct on may points. Having said that I would argue Tequilla Reef has the best Mexican food I have eaten in Pattaya. Certainly some of their selections are better than others. Overall John and Darrell do a good job. Usually a friendly atmosphere and a good place to meet fellow Americans.

Do they have a website?