BigusDicus

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. THE END

Exactly !

McDonald's and KFC are changing that rapidly.

Projects around the world are grinding to a halt. Delayed, canceled, or downsized. I would not recommend buying anything that is not completely finished. I would not recommend buying anything anywhere. Prices are dropping and likely will continue to do so for several years.

She was standing in the kitchen preparing to soft boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, 'You've got to make love to me this very moment.' My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.' Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all. Right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her 'T' shirt still around her neck. A little puzzled, I a

Worlds Happiest Couple

Tragic news from up north

QUOTE(BigusDicus @ Dec 19 2008, 12:49 PM) The Holiday Inn in San Jose, Costa Rica is not guest friendly... Last year I inquired at the front desk. Was told there was a $40 'guest fee'. From my perspective that is not 'guest friendly'.

Don't ever question the bravery of our soldiers!

The Holiday Inn in San Jose, Costa Rica is not guest friendly...

Microsoft to Fix Critical Internet Explorer Security Flaw Wednesday, December 17, 2008 SAN FRANCISCO — Microsoft Corp. is taking the unusual step of issuing an emergency fix for a security hole in its Internet Explorer software that has exposed millions of users to having their computers taken over by hackers. The "zero-day" vulnerability, which came to light last week, allows criminals to take over victims' machines simply by steering them to infected Web sites; users don't have to download anything for their computers to get infected, which makes the flaw in Internet Explorer

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A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were interested, Both said they were very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a not

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you cannot eat or hump it, Piss on it and walk away....

Excellent!

Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy donkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many donkeys around, went out and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He next announced that he would now buy donkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching donkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $2

Dear Employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times

Captain, What did $19,000 cover exactly?

If your bellybutton is an integral component of a tattoo.................you might be a redneck.

Hangover Finalists 2007

Hangover Finalists 2007

I am in the middle of a 'dental implant'. Had to have one molar pulled. By the time the implant is finished with a new tooth: $3,850 !!!!!! Problem is it must be done in two month apart stages. No choice but to do it here, unless I was to travel to LOS 3 times over the next 6 months.

Imagine a beautiful beach with white sand, listening to the gently rocking background noise from the waves. Beautiful bodies enjoying the warm sun, your third beer just emptied and dozing off in the sun lounger. Suddenly, a cloud appears, making you realize that your tranquil peace is about to change ......... You look up and............ HOLY .... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!