Bushcraft

The patient has completed his course of treatment with the psychiatrist, and they are settling up the bill. Patient: I'm so happy with what you've done for me that I want to give you a little extra in addition to your fee. Shrink: I don't know about that, in fact I don't think we should be lying on this couch together.

An Irishman accused of house burglary is found guilty in court. Magistrate: Have you anything to say before I sentence you? Accused: As God is my judge, Oi'm not guilty of this crime. Magistrate: He's not. I am. You are. Six months.

Another 'unusual pet' joke: A chap in a pet-shop is shown a parrot in a cage with a red and a blue cord hanging down from its left and right leg. The shop owner explains that if you pull the red cord, the bird will swear in French, pull the blue cord it will swear in Spanish. Customer: What happens if I pull both cords at once? Parrot: I'll fall off the fucking perch, you silly cunt.

Thanks Martin, yes, it's being a bit erratic today.

Excellent list that shows the overwhelming advantages of living here. Two more occur to me: If you're a smoker, cigarettes are far cheaper than in the UK or rest of Europe (pack of 20 1.80 pounds rather than 6 pounds - indeed it's even worth taking up smoking, think of the money you save). You can (almost) own a large house here as I do, and pay nothing in poll tax/community charge/land tax. That would be a cost of several thousands per year in the UK.

I think this is a great idea and will help to put the soi back on the map after declining monger-numbers. Nothing like working together to make an impact (sonic boom-boom), it's bound to be a great event (BiB willing) and I'll be sneaking down there as so often.

Yep #59, pant-creamingly perfect for my taste, but get rid of the braces.

Yet more slanted news coverage.

I can teach you to hurt attackers, very badly if necessary, but you won't get hurt yourself during training. I teach you to dish out, not take. Make the other bugger defend himself, if he can.

Hi, welcome to the board, saw your post but can't message you as too new a member, so here's some info.: I currently have 2 students and teach at my house on Tues. and Thurs. at 10.30 am. You're welcome to turn up when you can and take part. I can be reached under 08909 70156 and live at 62/173 Eakmongkol Village, Soi 8 Thepprasit Road (the Punch & Judy pub is on the corner as you enter the estate), mine is the last soi on the right, third house on the left. No equipment needed, just T-shirt, shorts and trainers is ok. Hope to see you soon.

Hokkaido looks beautiful and charming, thks for the pics mate. Sorry you didn't make Patts as planned, catch you soon I hope.

Haven't been in your bar yet, but it's clearly busy and I hope you're doing well. IMO you greatly improved the entire appeal of crappy (water-puddle) Chaiyapoon by setting up there with an attractive corner bar.

LondonAntony, you'd be very welcome. Get board membership and PM me, or Adam at Cherry Bar has my number so we can meet up if you're in town.

Yep, second that. It would be a shame if you boycotted PBG owing to this issue - I'm sure Pete will put it right for you and explain.

A pleasure, preferably with several participants as there is a lot of partner work. Just PM me Atlas, can do and you'll find it eye-opening. I also guarantee you won't be hurt beyond the odd small bruise, which is another bonus.

Sherlock's moves are of course choreographed 'stage' moves, but it's a derivative of what I do. WingTsun (WT) is the style practiced by Bruce Lee, and is also known as 'Chinese boxing' (hence 'Boxer rebellion') or (as a generic term for all the traditional Chinese martial arts) Kung Fu. I came to it in Germany, where I saw a blind woman (who had twice been raped in the past) demonstrating the art against three male attackers. WT relies more on feeling = physical contact than on eyesight to deduce what the opponent is doing. It convinced me, so I took it up in a club but was then invited to train at WingTsun headquarters near Heidelberg, where I spent almost 4 years - 6 hours a day, 6 days a week - in a secluded old castle learning to fight with and without weapons. I was 46 when I started, training with chaps aged between 20 and 30, but managed it through determination and because I loved its sheer logic. No acrobatics or showy techniques, just remorseless attack as the best means of defence. It's the best thing I've ever done, and as a teacher later in England I was thanked by many young students, who were in danger of going off the rails, for changing their life. That's very satisfying. It's highly effective but requires little strength, can be learned by people of any age or fitness level (even the wheelchair-bound) and as a wonderful side-effect keeps the body supple and healthy. I have no students here in Patts right now, but would be delighted to teach at my home if any BMs are interested in learning really effective self-defence. This is not blood-and-snot martial arts, but intelligent use of body mechanics. Here endeth the plug ..

I hold the 2nd teaching grade in Leung Ting WingTsun, taught classes in my own WT school in England for several years and am based near Threppasit Road. I'm happy to give private (or group) lessons at my house, so PM me if interested.

Haven't seen The Hobbit yet, but just finished a book called "Glue" - couldn't put it down!

I suppose it's possible that you had a very mild case of dengue, but having emerged from a nasty bout of it myself last week, I doubt that. In most cases the absolute fatigue, weakness, body ache, lack of appetite(s), chills and sweats last for weeks, plus there is a characteristic red rash on the arms and legs for a few days.

Superb, thank-you so much for posting these pics and descriptions. Doubt I'll ever get there to pay my respects, but I would dearly like to.

It was confirmed as dengue by a blood test today, no mistake, I'm covered in the characteristic red skin spots.

Very sorry you fell ill Mick, after what you've already been through. I have the pleasure of a stay at BP hospital myself from tomorrow, bloody dengue fever ..

Approx. 4 hours per week, given the large number of Brits who visit or live in Pattaya? I very much doubt it. It only takes one visa run minibus full of Brits to overturn somewhere with fatalities and injuries, to give the (unpaid!) 'honorary consul' a nightmare workload. Not to mention Brits getting into trouble, fights in bars (yes, it's not unheard of), ending up arrested or in hospital, old boys dying here. I suspect that doing this job well is a major undertaking, and probably not worth the kudos of the job title. Perhaps there's even an OBE or MBE in the offing if things go well? Great. Good luck to whoever takes it on, but include me out.

This is an evil thing to do, and there have been numerous fatalities as a result. As administering these substances is only possible by either mixing them into a drink or, less likely, stirring them into food, it seems to me that precautions are very difficult to take if you have an unknown in your room, or are sitting in a bar. Who watches his drink with undivided attention and never goes to the toilet during a bar conversation or when the lady du jour is in his room? Check if the drink tastes funny before glugging it, after glugging several beforehand? Search the lady for drugs to enhance the romantic passion? Certainly you can ensure that nothing valuable can be stolen from your room if the worst happens (though your watch, mobile and money on your person will be gone), but being drugged into a stupor or killed is a serious matter in itself. Maybe I'm unimaginative, but what are the effective 'precautions' referred to and possible, apart from not going out, not inviting girls back to your room, not drinking in anyone's presence or perhaps not getting too pissed to register something wrong? I suggest gut-feeling is the only protection you can have, but there are obviously some very nasty yet apparently believable people out there.

Tomcat, I would be appalled if anybody thought my words were disrespectful of the fallen, if indeed that's what your comment implies (?). On the contrary, we saw this horrible conflict going on for years on our TV sets at home, the first televised war, and were more than saddened because it always seemed unwinnable. The Tommy in his trench, the bomber crews (55,000 British dead) in the 2nd war, POWs in Japanese prison camps, the grunt on the ground in Vietnam, the list is endless, continuing. War is a terrible but sometimes necessary waste owing to human folly, I identify with the terrified individual who meets his violent end and doesn't come home from a faraway place, we must never forget them all. 'Nuff said.