atlas2

I used to work in a sewer…..I became an expert on turds. I could always spot my wife's turd floating passed……….She used to tie my packed lunch to it. As for your idea: I hollow out a turd and insert rolled up cash and leave it floating! That only works if you've been eating corks.

Aye……..Typical Yorkshireman…….Can peel orange in't trouser pocket…….. So tight that when 'e farts only dogs 'ear it. 'Cepting when he's in't pool a'course…….. Yorkshireman's jacuzzi he calls that!!... Wakes up 'alf the darkside then as-like …………………………………………………. Bloody cold again Jacko I'm off for my dip. The last few days the only way to warm my old bones after a swim is a mid-morning drive with the windows up and air-con off. ……………………………………………….. Now back to the thread. If you don't trust the safe…...There are some good hiding places in hotel rooms. For money I've used the bottom seam of curtains……..hollow shower rails……cut out a small pocket of foam in a chair or cushion that had a zipped cover…….

Clapton has collaborated with dozens of artists. This time he's with Sting doing another Jimi Hendrix tribute. For my money this knocks spots off his own version of 'Little Wing' on the Layla album. Sting stung Clapton to play out of his comfort zone on this one. Head-phones are obligatory. Not much like Clapton………Not much like Jimi either Clapton only stops after he's cum in his pants……….

I agree Spike.

A bowl of jellied eels and a photo of Margret Rutherford in nothing but her support tights does it for me….But I'm hard to please.

I was a Keith Urban fan for quite a while before I even discovered he was an Aussie………I thought he was Texan, bloody sounds it……….And I didn't have a clue he played guitar so well. He wrote good country songs and sang them well….That was enough for me. Then it turns out he's married to Nicole Kidman too…... the bastard!! I have always thought, 'Don't Let Me Down' was a relatively underestimated Beatles' song. These two bring it to life and a bit more. Even though he cocks up the words….(so did John on the roof) and his guitar strap comes loose in the middle of his solo. For me it was the highlight of the most recent 'Crossroads concert" Have a listen…….John Mayer's great too.

I adore this woman. She's in there with Bardot, Pfeiffer, Zeta-Jones and Vivienne Neeves, (if anyone remembers her)…. in my personal droolings. Now that I know she's up and down those slopes like a fiddler's elbow it makes her The perfect woman. Sadly I must accept that she wouldn't give me the snot off her ski-gloves. Still I will be watching thanks for the news. Oh and Patna, nice photos in the boobies thread.

You'll probably find the problem is somewhere between the keyboard and the chair……..

You have to see this……….Not sure if it's part tribute part piss-take……..Not quite heavy metal but Ironman nails this. This was from 2011 and Sting's 60th birthday bash. http://youtu.be/xiuzFNtki60

i just click on 'share' highlight the link code by clicking in the box…….It highlights in 'yellow' then cut and paste. Your not the only person to have a problem recently. i never have and I'm not sure why.

I wanted an excuse Sam to post this………Let's see if it works. Sometimes songs give me goose bumps……..This girl gives it fucking everything. http://youtu.be/7mnycoYiQxY

Positive vibes Jacko…….Trust to luck and karma……... Or Big Mick's suggestion.

I've been there 4 times….3X with the 'Boss' and once with my son who also loved it. I was hoping you had more pictures of your' GF………We didn't see her face last time.

Just heard the 2022 Qatar World Cup is likely to be held in November or December. Should be an interesting domestic season.

Look, I'm going to leave this here before MM closes us down……… Jacko, because he's a mod can't defend himself. Out of the blue you make an unfair and arbitrary association between Jacko, Bernard Manning and bigotry. I call foul on you. Here's some bigotry If you want some……. As Bushcraft said……."It's a pity' Boy, 7, attacked in Scotland for wearing England shirtA seven-year-old football fan punched in the head by a racist thug because he was wearing an England top vowed today to continue to support his soccer heroes. Hugo Clapshaw was enjoying a kick-around with his father in Edinburgh at the weekend when a man shouted abuse and lashed out with his fists. Lothian and Borders Police today branded the attack "cowardly and pathetic" and Scottish politicians joined in the condemnation. His father, Damon Clapshaw, a 34-year-old finance worker originally from New Zealand who now lives in Edinburgh, said: "Hugo decided to support England as there wasn't really much choice. "He might decide next week to support Argentina, it's not about race, he's just a kid. "But he's not going to let this mindless thug put him off supporting England." The incident happened on Saturday afternoon in Inverleith park as Hugo, his father, mother Kirsty, 35, sister Lily, four, and seven-month-old Skye enjoyed a family day out. Out of the blue, the man ran towards Hugo, who was on his scooter, and punched him. Mr Clapshaw confronted the man but he too was punched to the ground and kicked. A passing motorist screamed from her car and the man ran off. Hugo told the Scottish Sun newspaper: "The man whacked me very hard. He was a lot bigger than me. I am still going to wear the top. My mum bought it for me because I'm supporting England." Mr Clapshaw added: "I couldn't believe this was happening, in broad daylight. Hugo was in floods of tears and was in a lot of pain. "I challenged the guy and asked him what it was all about but he turned on me as I walked away. I thought he wasn't going to stop and that maybe he was going to stab me." He said the man shouted "This is Scotland, not f***** England" after the attack. "We still love Scotland and we're not going to let this spoil things but it is the last thing we expected to happen on a family day out." A police spokesman said they were investigating the "cowardly and pathetic" attack. He added: "We will not be advising people not to wear England shirts." Meanwhile, police in Aberdeen were hunting a man who attacked a disabled driver because he was wearing an England shirt and flying a St George's Cross from his car. Ian Smith was sitting in his car on Aberdeen's Anderson Road waiting to pick up a friend's child from school when he was attacked. Mr Smith, who is originally from Peterborough, is registered disabled. He was left with a badly-bruised right eye and double vision as a result of the unprovoked assault at about 3pm yesterday. The 41-year-old told the Press and Journal newspaper: "He just came up to the car and started giving me a load of abuse about supporting England. "I told him there was no need for all this bigotry because it's only football but he grabbed the flag, snapped it in half and then pulled me out of the car and threw me to the ground. "I've lived in Aberdeen for years but this is the first time I've ever suffered a physical racist attack." Aberdeen South MP Anne Begg was "sickened" by the attack. She said: "Aberdeen is a dynamic, multi-cultural city which is known for being welcoming to all people. It's very upsetting that someone could attack another man purely for being English. "In a city where we have a very popular English Lord Provost, I am quite sure others in Aberdeen will be absolutely disgusted." Scottish Tory leader Annabel Goldie said: "These are appalling incidents - indicative of the worst traits of narrow-minded thuggery, which every self-respecting Scot should condemn outright. "Scotland is made up of tolerant, kindly, open-minded people and it beholds all of us, in word and deed, to represent our country positively."

I'm a fan of some of the above……….But in the interests of variety this is rather fun…….You'll have to watch on youtube. http://youtu.be/6mC3WctU1IQ

Some truly great players there and being Scottish wouldn't make me 'indifferent' to them and want, (out of jealousy or spite) to ignore, rather than appreciate their skills. It's not been since... 1998 that Scotland had a team in the finals and that's a pity. A result I suppose of the number of 'ready made' buy-ins squeezing out our home grown players from the Premiere league. Whereas in the past Scottish, Irish and Welsh players abounded in the top flight of the old First Division, nowadays there ain't much representation from any of our home nations. Without that chance a lot of British talent, that may have been nurtured has been wasted. We can argue to the cows come home about that. Many fans I talk to don't care about country anymore. It's all about Chelsea or Man U. They are happy to pay the wages of foreign 'mercenaries' with no roots or allegiance to the club if they can have the bragging rights on a Saturday night. West ham was always my team but now Southampton's policy of bringing home talent on has me rooting for them. They are doing something right and I applaud them for it. It may well be that no home nation will ever bring the 'World Cup' back to the shores where the game was first codified and played. That's probably a certainty in what's left of our lifetimes. To your thread……..'40 Reasons why I won't be supporting England Next Summer" You can add your so-called 'indifference' and make it 41. As Bushcraft said………It's a pity. Just joeking

I'll tell you when I do my next transfer..... The pound will sky rocket the next day. I can predict that with a certainty gained from years of miss judgements

So you're a well-travelled fan of English football teams (with the medal to prove it), but you won't be supporting England. Out of ……..'indifference' you say… OK.

I don't think you're joking…….. Time for my dip.

Well, as I said …..'Walcott is out.' It's a shame as I think he was maturing into his pomp this season. I think this weakens our….(England's)…..chances. Maybe it simplifies things for the manager. Blatter's having the conniptions over Brazil's preparedness to stage it all……….I expect things to come together in time and the Brazilians themselves to get behind the competition. However, woe-betide Brazil should have a bad tournament. That would be a disaster. The countries that 'did'nee' qualify might then count themselves lucky.

Where's the hate?? As for recognizing banter? 'Hello kettle ……..you're black.' I for one have no interest in your claimed 'indifference' …Don't believe it mind…... but who cares?

Jacko was joking boy'yo

"Don't 'fro…. bloody.. claymores... at me"….

It's been a while since there's been trouble with The England team's support….(thank God!). But I honestly agree with you there. Absolutely shameful and I can understand your reluctance to have anything to do with such behaviour. No point in being tarred with the same brush. Happily 1988 was back in the last century. I don't think there's been a real riot in England since 2008 in Manchester………A UEFA cup final……... Rangers Vs Zenit St Petersburg. It's OK Tom, just pulling your leg. I know the unwritten rule. There's nothing I can say if you hearts against us. From my point of view, as a proud Englishman I hope the World Cup goes less well than you, (and I suspect many others north of the boarder), would like.