Been in Pattaya Too Long?

[jacko 8,827]

• I'm not saying it's time to leave Pattaya but here are a few signs, symptoms, traits and habits of people who have stayed in Pattaya a long time, and in some cases definitely too long. I tried to keep this list specific to Pattaya rather than cover the broader spectrum of habits and eccentricities of people who've stayed in Thailand too long.
  
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• You get a motorcycle license because you're sick of paying fines to Pattaya's finest.
  
• You are able to politely inform people that they jumped the queue and so reclaim your place.
  
• More than one girl has your name tattooed on her body.
  
• Leave the country or lock yourself indoors for Pattaya's somewhat extended Songkran festival.
  
• You can spot a Kathoey "Ladyboy" from a hundred paces.
  
• You know more "guys who have been ripped off by their wife" than you know "happily married guys" .
  
• Know the difference between Dahkling and Darling.
  
• Realize that "Ham San Man" is not a mispronunciation of "Handsome Man".
  
• You've seen the Pattaya Glitter-man more than once.
  
• You are Glitter-man.
  
• If you've been here a long time you will know I'm not talking about Gary Glitter.
  
• You know what a balloon chaser is.
  
• You are a balloon chaser.
  
• Don't buy Lady drinks.
  
• You think there's nothing unusual about a man walking round the supermarket with a parrot on his arm.
  
• You are the man walking round the supermarket with a parrot on your arm.
  
• You consider having Russian language lessons.
  
• You've Been mugged in Pattaya, or you know of at least 2 people who have.
  
• Haven't Been to a Pattaya Go go bar for more than 12 months.
  
• You have your first tattoo after your 40th birthday.
  
• You're on first name terms with the staff at the Pattaya Immigration office.
  
• Going home broke after pouring everything you have in to a Pattaya business venture which failed.
  
• You just leaped off the tenth floor balcony.
  
• Leaped off the tenth floor balcony with a gag in your mouth, plastic bag over your head, hands tied behind your back and a knife stuck in your back.
  
• Believe that people really can tie their hands behind their back before suffocating themselves with a plastic bag.
  

Source

[RhinoTusk 4,901]

Many nights, I need to navigate Walking Street very quickly, so I can get between my favorite bars before happy hour ends. Consequently, I would very much like to shoot the Michael Jackson impersonator for all the log jams he creates with his stupid show. Have I been in Pattaya too long?

[MM 6,562]

Many nights, I need to navigate Walking Street very quickly, so I can get between my favorite bars before happy hour ends. Consequently, I would very much like to shoot the Michael Jackson impersonator for all the log jams he creates with his stupid show. Have I been in Pattaya too long?

No, he's a cunt...along with the cowboy magician, the contortionist child and her neglectful father, the break dancing football kids, and the other assorted illegal shows that impede traffic and draw 7-11 drink swilling swarthy spectators.

Incidentally, the Michael Jackson guy takes his money to gogos and can be seen being the biggest lady drink buyer in the place for a short time.

[steamer 158]

is Glitterman still around?

[MM 6,562]

is Glitterman still around?

No.

[jacko 8,827]

No, he's a cunt...along with the cowboy magician, the contortionist child and her neglectful father, the break dancing football kids, and the other assorted illegal shows that impede traffic and draw 7-11 drink swilling swarthy spectators.

Incidentally, the Michael Jackson guy takes his money to gogos and can be seen being the biggest lady drink buyer in the place for a short time.

I think we have mentioned before that sometimes the ageing cowboy joins him. The UV lights give his make-up an eerie colour and both are popular with the girls. I have seen them in Sweethearts and Spankys, haven't come across them for a wee spell though. Edited December 3, 2012 by jacko

[MM 6,562]

I think we have mentioned before that sometimes the ageing cowboy joins him. The UV lights give his make-up an eerie colour and both are popular with the girls. I have seen them in Sweethearts and Spankys, haven't come across them for a we spell though.

He used to host a table of ladies at Carousel. I've not seen him in gogos lately. Maybe he's hanging in What's Up, which is too pricey for me.

[jacko 8,827]

He used to host a table of ladies at Carousel. I've not seen him in gogos lately. Maybe he's hanging in What's Up, which is too pricey for me.

yeah right........

[MM 6,562]

yeah right........

 

Sure..I've even charted out your happy hour search, which I do in reverse order. That's why you never see me.

[rightsaid 44]

He used to host a table of ladies at Carousel. I've not seen him in gogos lately. Maybe he's hanging in What's Up, which is too pricey for me.

 

You obviously have to start learning to moonwalk.

[Kev 178]

No.

Shite what happened to the Glitterman, news to me!!

[jacko 8,827]

Shite what happened to the Glitterman, news to me!!

He lost his sparkle and faded away.

[nkped 1,208]

• You think there's nothing unusual about a man walking round the supermarket with a parrot on his arm.
  
• You are the man walking round the supermarket with a parrot on your arm.
  

A couple of years ago in Lahaina, Maui, saw a guy who looked like Santa Claus in board shorts riding a bicycle with a parrot on his arm. If he wasn't on the payroll of the tourist bureau, he should have been.

[Kev 178]

Ah you mean he is no longer a member here Jacko, I thought he may have met with his demise or something while riding that bike of his!

[MM 6,562]

Ah you mean he is no longer a member here Jacko, I thought he may have met with his demise or something while riding that bike of his!

I think he went back to England. That wouldn't prevent him from posting of he chose to.

[jacko 8,827]

A couple of years ago in Lahaina, Maui, saw a guy who looked like Santa Claus in board shorts riding a bicycle with a parrot on his arm. If he wasn't on the payroll of the tourist bureau, he should have been.

Hawaii Bob? Now residing in Pattaya? Edited December 4, 2012 by jacko

[MM 6,562]

Miami Bob? Now residing in Pattaya?

 

I think his moniker is Hawaii Bob. Don't get Miami involved in these nutcases.

He's to be seen as, of all things, a volunteer foreign tourist policeman, sans parrot.

 

Edit in:

No wait. I know Hawaii Bob, and he's alright. This fellow is "bob4you".

 

[jacko 8,827]

I think his moniker is Hawaii Bob. Don't get Miami involved in these nutcases.

He's to be seen as, of all things, a volunteer foreign tourist policeman, sans parrot.

 

Edit in:

No wait. I know Hawaii Bob, and he's alright. This fellow is "bob4you".

That is actually who I was thinking of!

Fancy me confusing Maimi, Hawaii and Maui...and in another thread deriding American knowledge of Geography...slap on wrist for jacko.

Edited December 4, 2012 by jacko

[nkped 1,208]

That is actually who I was thinking of!

Fancy me confusing Maimi, Hawaii and Maui...and in another thread deriding American knowledge of Geography...slap on wrist for jacko.

I have been the Miami more than once. You couldn't pay me enough to live there. Maui, on the other hand, if I could afford it

[papillon 695]

When you're trying to watch the footie on tv and a nude 18 y/o dancer is blocking your view.

[Basil B 46]

I suppose you know when You have been in Pattarya too long when you pass the bars and no longer get "Where you go sexy man" but "Basil, where you go tonight"