Bar Humor

[VPI78]

[yorta2]

Punctuation:

[VPI78]

Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.

He hears a priest come in. “Father, forgive I think its been a while since I’ve been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.

The priest replies, “Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side!”

[VPI78]

[kuranda_bagman]

[VPI78]

A guy was in a bar drinking beer. He would finish his beer, pull out his wallet and look at a picture of his wife, order another beer take out his wallet and looks at a picture of his wife.

He did this several times, finally, the bartender asks, why after you finish a beer you take out your wallet and look at a picture of your wife.

The guy says as soon as she starts looking better to me, I go home.

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[BigusDicus]

Why I never talk to Siri...

 

Edited January 5, 2020 by BigusDicus

[midlifecrisis]

That's great!

[VPI78]

[VPI78]

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Murphy, “I’m gonna get the day off. I’m gonna pretend I’ve gone mad!” He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts “I’m a lightbulb, I’m a lightbulb!”

Murphy watches in amazement. The foreman shouts: “Paddy, go home. You’ve gone mad.”

So Paddy leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. “Where do you think you’re going?” asks the foreman.

“Well, I can’t work in the friggin dark!” said Murphy.

[midlifecrisis]

52 minutes ago, VPI78 said:

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Murphy, “I’m gonna get the day off. I’m gonna pretend I’ve gone mad!” He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts “I’m a lightbulb, I’m a lightbulb!”

Murphy watches in amazement. The foreman shouts: “Paddy, go home. You’ve gone mad.”

So Paddy leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. “Where do you think you’re going?” asks the foreman.

“Well, I can’t work in the friggin dark!” said Murphy.

took me by surprise

 

or for the thumbless

 

[VPI78]

[BigusDicus]

 

 

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[BigusDicus]

[VPI78]

1 hour ago, BigusDicus said:

Harry could have a Kardashian ... well, if he would have waited his turn.

[BigusDicus]