PattayaPete

Hmmmm. It works for me as it has for 48,000 other people. If it is still not working for you, you can go there directly with this link Hotel Reviews

You can't download them or you can't play them? If you can't download them you are doing something wrong. Please describe what you are doing. If you can't play them you probably need the xVid codec. Details in the first post in the video section - How to download and play FLB Videos.

Primary Colours: To celebrate its second anniversary the Heaven Above chrome pole palace (upstairs, Soi Diamond) is holding a ‘black & white' theme party on Friday night 11 August. As the name suggests, people are asked to dress in either black or white or a combination of both. The dancing damsels and serving wenches will be similarly attired, although I've no doubt the usual intentional wardrobe malfunctions will occur at regular moments throughout the evening. Howl the Night Away: I'm not quite sure why so many late-night venue operators insist on holding dancing contests on a Sunday evening; perhaps it's the subliminal idea the day holds religious significance and people will come along to ‘pray' at the ‘church' of the chrome pole. Anyway, the Casino Club late-night gyration barn (Soi Diamond) will be holding what they are calling a ‘Coyote Dance Contest' on Sunday night 20 August, starting around 10:00PM. The name of the dance contest, of course, is based around the popular movie Coyote Ugly. Can You Keep a Secret? Not in this town, that's for sure. After a long gestation period, the Secrets all-things-to-all-people establishment is set to launch itself on the Pattaya stage with a ‘soft' opening on or about Tuesday 15 August. This is to be followed by a ‘proper' opening party around the beginning of September. The web forum is apparently one of the most popular on the Internet and once the premises is up and running I fully expect it to become one of Fun Town's fashionable haunts. Pitched at the Top End: The Roxy late-night boogie barn ( Walking Street ) opened its doors on schedule on 27 July. I didn't go, mainly because I'm not keen on opening nights as they tend to give a false impression of a new place. Far better, in my opinion, to wait until the management has ironed out the kinks; then give an opinion. The early reports from those who did venture in are not promising as it looks as though the management are aiming primarily at the tourist market; people who arrive for the first or second time and don't know the value of the baht. This approach failed dismally in the dens of Pattayaland Soi 2 and unless Roxy has something really special to offer it will probably remain outside the sphere of ex-pat spending. That's OK, as long as they realise they're not going to win a great many friends among the locals. I suspect part of the problem is that Big Andy, who was removed to protect one bottom line, is not there to run the marketing and greeting: something he does do very well: be at a cost! Bottoms Up, Again: The success of the first Coyotee's ogling den Best Ass in Pattaya Contest has prompted the operators of the Soi Marina Plaza establishment to schedule a reprise for Sunday night 27 August. Once again, the starting time will be around 11:00PM, thereby giving the competing dancing damsels time to quaff sufficient quantities of alcoholic ‘courage' and get the ‘atmosphere' in the bar just right. The first contest (held on 23 July) consisted of 18 dancers (it was meant to be 20, but two mysteriously disappeared into the cracks; their own or someone else's is yet to be determined), six judges, and a bar full of persons who clearly appreciate a classy rear end. Although the prize money for the first event was originally billed as 15,000 baht to the winner, a late change was made and the money was divided between the top three finishers: 8,000 baht for first, 5,000 baht for second, and 2,000 baht for third. Of the 18 starters, two represented the Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond) while three others came from somewhere in Soi 8. Their precise place of extra-curricular employment wasn't announced, but I have no doubt many of the beer boozers along Soi 8 saw an unusual increase in turnover the following night. The remaining 15 contestants represented the home team. Among the six judges were Martin from the FLB lounge lizard libation room ( Walking Street ); the unusually nicknamed ‘Hammer' from the progressive Cherry beer boozer (Soi 8), and Daryl, the creator of the Mystique late-night establishment in Bangkok. Although the contest was ostensibly designed to showcase the finer points of dancing derrieres, the majority of the contestants seemed to be under the misguided impression that a wanton display of all their fundamental assets would earn them bonus points. The contest was divided into three rounds. The first round saw four teams of five girls each -minus the two missing in cracktion- gyrating to two songs. The same set of teams then competed in the second round. The only difference was that two judges were given turns at being up close and very personal with a team. Sat on a sofa on the stage, the two were subjected to all kinds of tactile torture as the damsels teasingly thrust various parts of their normally attired anatomies in the faces of these stalwart members of the community. Two of the judges, clearly dedicated to the task of unearthing the best backside in the contest (as well as gaining more than a passing glimpse and grope of the front bits), consented to suffer for their art a second time and bravely placed themselves in harms way by volunteering to sit for a second team. After the second round there was a break while the field was reduced to 10 finalists. They consisted of one girl from Diamond, two from Soi 8 and seven from Coyotee's. At the finish, Khun Oh from the Diamond chrome pole palace snared the 8,000 baht first prize. The runners-up were Khun Nan and Khun Bur, both from Coyotee's. Piece of Pith: A professor was giving a lecture on ‘Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, “Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?” She replied, “Probably out fishing with his mates!!”

There are quite a few differentr links to the hotel section. i tried all the ones I could think of and they all worked. Which one are you refering to.

To post multiple pics, the photos must already be on the net somewhere. There are detailed instructions in the FAQ section.

It is set to a max of 50 images per post at the moment. This is an arbitary limit and could be increased. The problem with posting too many images in one post is that members with dial up connections could be stuck for hours waiting for everything to download and often the connection will choke and die with that many images. It's not usually a problem for broadband users. Mark, I'll set it temporarily to 101 so you can do your post without reorganizing it.. Let's have some feedback from members on how their connections handle it. If everyones happy, I'll leave it at 101.

There are no "levels" here. You can see everything there is. What else do you want?

They are working again now.

Seems it got lost in our recent server crash. I'll re-do it and should be back by tomorrow.

Which ones?

Now That's an Ass: Always thinking, always trying something new. That's the management of the Coyotee's chrome pole palace in Soi Marina Plaza. On Sunday night, 23 July, the den will be celebrating its first year anniversary by holding the Sexiest Ass in Pattaya' Dance Competition. The contest will not begin until 11:00PM, giving the Coyotee's management time to get the atmosphere right (in other words, get the dancers well and truly inebriated). Five special judges have been roped in to make the selections, and the 20 damsels who will make up the starters for the first round will be encouraged to use all their feminine wiles on the said judges. First prize is a whopping 10,000 baht, with all girls who are selected to compete receiving 700 baht on entry. The contest is open to any girl who thinks she's got the kind of rear assets that make grown men start chewing their knuckles. Half a Decade Gone: Congratulations are in order for the Queen Victoria Inn down in Soi 6 (colloquially known as Soi Yodsak) that celebrated five years of operation on the weekend of 1 July. As part of the festivities, the owners organised a charity raffle and, so I'm reliably informed, handed over 59,505 baht to the Charity Club of Pattaya to disperse in the best way they can. It's my understanding the Charity Club does not hand over cash to worthy causes, they determine what's required and make the necessary purchases. No Longer on Watch: The second Babewatch ogling den dance contest, held in late June, proved to be the back end of the high-water mark for the struggling chrome pole palace. Just a couple of weeks later it was unceremoniously closed. Rumours suggest the owner was unable to come up with the staff salaries. Located in the Covent Garden Complex in Soi 16, Walking Street, Babewatch has had a chequered history and after some managerial changes in June, it was no surprise the place began to fall apart. Reports suggest the den has now been sold and the new regime is intent on making some major, and probably essential, structural changes. The front door was always poorly sited, being behind the popular Rolling Stone II beer boozer and therefore not in the line of sight of most passers-by. I'm led to believe the new owners hope to relocate the front door to the back of the den and opposite the well-patronised Catz and Club Boesche dens. The problem with this, apparently, is the water pipes and electrical cables are all behind the wall where they propose to put the new door. Not a cheap exercise. Another major expense involves the demolition of the dancing stage. For some reason, the original stage was made of reinforced concrete and was also so high the dancing girls required oxygen masks to make the ascent. Customers who sat up close to the stage for a bit too long required a neck brace after staring at such an unnatural angle. Perhaps the new owners could ask North Korea if they'd be interested in testing the accuracy and strength of one of their long-range missiles by aiming it at the dance stage. From what I'm told it'll take something akin to a million tonnes of TNT to turn the damn thing into a pile of rubble. Find Me on the Web: I have to confess to being a lazy Internet surfer'. Check and answer emails and wander through a couple of newspaper and other information sites and that's about it for me. People tell me about forums -and this column happens to appear on a couple, of message boards and the like, but I've plenty to fill my days and not enough time to worry about what's being written on a number of sites. The same goes for the websites of the ogling dens of Pattaya, but in the last couple of weeks I've had the need to check out two sites in particular, and I'm very impressed with the depth and quality of both. The first is Club Boesche ( www.clubboesche.com ); the other is Catz ( www.catzagogo.com ), the den situated right next door in the Covent Garden complex (Soi 16, Walking Street). I can highly recommend both sites as worth a look, and both give a good indication of the style of each den. Waiting for the Real Football: Those who have been in Pattaya in these last few weeks of World Cup football mania have had plenty of places to watch the self-proclaimed beautiful game. On the ogling den scene the place with the biggest TV screen is probably Windmill in Soi Diamond. Boasting a whopping 72 inches (now that's satisfaction) I think it could become the place to be for the real' World Cup: the 2007 rugby union matches, in France. In the meantime, the den is conducting what they term Midnight Flashback' shows. As the name suggests, the shows begin at the witching hour and feature half an hour of disco music from the 1970s and 80s and are apparently being well received by both dancers and customers. The place now has their own website ( www.windmillpattaya.com ) and is steadily making improvements to its overall concept and, importantly, their dancing line-up. Notes from the Front Lines: Special mention should be made of the downstairs spa bath in Club Boesche (Covent Garden complex) where a number of comely maidens keep their most important assets squeaky clean, and have no idea of the meaning of the word shy'. Add this to the glass-bottomed see-through dance floor upstairs and it's easy to see why this bar became one of the most popular places in Pattaya within a very short time after its opening. If you're looking for a den where the damsels actually dance, rather than merely shuffle, then Diamond (Soi Diamond) is a must. The best time to go in seems to be any time after 10:00PM; perhaps by then the dancers have poured enough tequila or Thai rotgut down their throats to forget their inhibitions. The New Living Dolls 1 chrome pole palace (Walking Street) was the scene late one afternoon for the shooting of a few scenes for a low-budget movie, being put together by an Australian-Hong Kong production team. According to my sources, the movie has been sold to a few outlets in the United States. Who's The Best? As low season really starts to bite, a significant number of the top-shelf' dancing damsels have decamped Fun Town and gone back to Amphur Anywhere for rest and relaxation (or maybe to Singapore for a couple of weeks of mattress dancing at inflated prices). With this short-term exodus it's noticeable how many dens of the chrome pole seem to be struggling for quality' shufflers, particularly those at the lower end of the food chain. Of course there is still enough eye candy' to frazzle the pupils of all but the most jaundiced of peepers, but nothing like the wallet-reducing pulchritude normally caressing the poles of chrome in the period between Loy Krathong and the end of Songkran. What is becoming more and more apparent -and possibly disconcerting for a number of bar owners- is the perceived increase in the nomadic habits of those damsels who consider themselves in the top echelon of chrome pole molesters. In recent times I have ceased to be amazed at the number of damsels who will be working in one leading den for a couple of months and then suddenly start plying their trade in a different palace of the chrome pole. Then, a couple of months further down the track, they'll have found employment in yet another dancing bar. Of course, this is nothing new in the bar game, but it does seem to have become more prevalent in recent times. One prominent bar owner told me frankly, It's impossible to stop them [the stars] moving about. The one key factor with the nomadic ying' is that she will move from quality den to quality den, only rarely making a career' mistake and working in a less than top rank establishment. She's also rarely concerned about making her full salary by turning up on time each and every night; leave that to the second-rank damsels. This is why so many of the best places tend to be a bit light-on for talent in the first hour or so after opening, with the best quality girls wandering in pretty much when they feel like it. So, as of the beginning of July, which places would rank as the best in Fun Town? A short half-decade ago the number of top quality dens in Fun Town was limited to a maximum of seven or eight. Now, just off the top of my tiny mind I can think of 11 places that, in my humble opinion (and therefore based on my own tastes in the female form), are worthy of being ranked as the best in the city for those who may be searching for worldly relations' during the evening hours. In alphabetical order they are: Club Boesche, Coyotees, Diamond, Dollhouse, Happy, Heaven Above, Living Dolls Showcase, New Living Dolls 1, Peppermint, Super Baby, and Super Girl. Snapping closely at their heels are joints like Angelwitch, Beach Club, and Catz. In fact, as I mentioned at the end of last year, it's nigh on impossible to name a single place that is so outstanding it rates as the number one den in Pattaya. Tales from the Crib: You have to grudgingly admire the lengths to which some of the fair maidens who make their living from snipping walking wallets will go to increase their short-term wealth. A man who lives on a high floor in a downtown condo was saved from an unusual robbery attempt by his sharp-eared neighbour. A damsel of the man's acquaintance waited until he had gone out and then told a local locksmith she had forgotten her keys in the room. She handed over 500 baht to the unwitting locksmith, who accompanied her to the front door and began the process of attempting an entry. A neighbour heard the noise and came out to investigate. She saw the locksmith at work and asked what was going on. He explained, but the neighbour said she knew the man who lived in the room never gave room keys to the girls he entertained and asked them to wait while she contacted security. Needless to say, the damsel decided not to wait for their arrival and took off at the rate of knots. She managed to escape apprehension, but at least the final score was Foreign Resident nil, Wallet Emptier minus 500 baht.

Bassgod I just checked your membership. There are no restrictions on your posting ability. Pete

Chowing Down on the Game: This is for any Australians or lovers of rugby league who happen to be in Pattaya on the late afternoon of Wednesday 5 July. The third and deciding match of the State of Origin series -played, for those who don’t know, between New South Wales and Queensland –will kick off at around 5:00PM. The Boxing Roo beer boozer and Queensland dingo hangout (on Third Road, about 50 metres north of the well-known Buffalo knocking shop) is the place to go to watch the game. There are three TV screens, the service staff are friendly, there are two good pool tables, and the atmosphere is perfect for watching the match. If you happen to be a New South Wales supporter then you are hereby ordered to come and bolster our flagging numbers. In the second match of the series there were far too many cane toad fanciers in the boozer. They’re worse than English football supporters. Another good reason to put in an appearance is Scoby’s Pizza joint, situated right next door. The owners of the Boxing Roo kindly ordered a swag of pizzas from Scoby’s and they were easily the best I’ve tasted in Pattaya. Everybody seems to have different tastes when it comes to pizza, but I’d be very surprised if the majority of people couldn’t find something eminently edible. Backing the Sand Dames: A good response was forthcoming from my lengthy piece decrying the biased conventional wisdom regarding the freelancers who offer short or long time horizontal services to perambulators along the Beach Road promenade. One person wrote to say my item was, ‘…quite fitting and accurate. I have been with some very pretty ladies from Beach Road who were every bit as good –if not better- than I’ve been with who work gogo bars or beer bars.’ He later noted, ‘Nor have I had any negative experiences with any of the many ladies I’ve enjoyed who work Beach Road.’ Another, who said he lives in Soi 2 and regularly traverses the promenade, commented, ‘There’s simply no problem with overly pestering behaviour on their part, usually one must approach them if interested in securing a short-time or long-time arrangement.’ I happened to wander along the promenade on a recent evening and I think my pheromones were surging -or there was an unusual physical bulge in my nether regions- and I was approached by two damsels of the cement blocks. One had a pair of flotation devices masquerading as mammary glands (I didn’t see her face) while the other seductively said, “I want to go with you,” while gripping tightly to the leash of her second-hand seeing eye dog. Back in the Swing: The chrome pole den rightly fingered as the one responsible for the incredible resurgence of Walking Street nearly half a decade ago is back with a vengeance. The Dollhouse was sold in early May to a small consortium of people who are involved in other successful ventures around town. This coterie includes Captain Picard, owner of Living Dolls Showcase and who was the first manager of The Dollhouse. In the first couple of weeks of operation there was no noticeable improvement as far as the quality of the dancing damsels was concerned, but by the start of June a raft of new faces had been enticed through the portals and the place was definitely swinging. Something New and Something New, Again: Could it be third time lucky? Down in Soi Yamato the Hot & Cold II ogling den has re-opened yet again. This narrow single shophouse structure was first tried as a den of the chrome pole in November 2004, and closed just two months later. There was a brief attempt at a reprise in 2005, but then the place was firmly shuttered until May. At the other end of the spectrum is the Hammer Disko on Walking Street. Reputedly costing a massive 100 million baht to renovate, the Hammer is on the site of the former Star Music live music venue. It’s a great spot to watch the passing parade on the strip and the new layout takes account of crowd watchers and is yet another fresh and appealing addition to the area. And just in case you thought the town couldn’t handle any more dens of the chrome pole: a sign above the Siren Bar complex at the entrance to Walking Street suggests a trio of ogling dens and about 15 beer boozers will soon be set to open for business in the spot formerly occupied by that completely useless rip-off joint called Marilyn. Swing Low, Low Season: Every year it’s the same. The tourist numbers suddenly decline and the owners and managers of boozers across the length and breadth of Fun Town search for the reason. This year, of course, there’s a World Cup to blame and the stories about the government enforcing the foreign-ownership regulations regarding free-standing dwellings. Most places admit to a drop of a third or more in nightly turnover, but the better places are still doing well enough and there are a few who are gaining ground as the owners and management tighten up their act. Down in Pattayaland Soi 2, I notice the Kitten Club is offering 29 baht draught amber liquid, all day and all night, which must surely be the cheapest in town. Since I am not much of an indulger in the amber chemicals I have no idea whether it comes in a thimble or a yard glass. In the same soi, the Classroom has a happy hour offering most libations at 60 baht until 7:00PM. In case anyone hasn’t noticed, most dens across Fun Town are now staying open until at least 3:00AM and there are reports of a couple of well-attended joints still going strong beyond even this exalted time. A Fast Show: The Babewatch ogling den (Covent Garden complex, Soi 16, Walking Street) held an in-house dance contest on Sunday night 18 June, offering a 5,000 baht first prize and another 9,000 baht in other monetary enticements. Featuring just 20 dancers, in five teams of four girls each, the contest was run over three rounds and, considering there were World Cup football games taking place, was well attended. The whole contest was compressed into just over two hours, a format which kept most punters interested until the end. While the chrome pole huggers are a mostly pedestrian bunch, the show girls are well worth making an effort to check out. Out of the Rumour Mill: Fun Town is always full of Chinese whispers, the difficulty being always to sort the sensible rumours from the ridiculous. A regular rumour doing the rounds, and it keeps cropping up every few months, is the alleged number of short-time artists who are supposedly HIV+ and work in a Third Road establishment. I cannot guarantee there isn’t some truth to what’s being bandied about, but I would ask the question: if you were a working girl and found out you were HIV+, would you be telling your boss in the bar where you worked, or in any way letting it be known your medical condition was liable to be a danger to customers? Of course not. Now, when the whisper doing the rounds suggests there are up to 17 damsels of the short-time dangle so infected, wouldn’t you start thinking the whole rumour is nothing more than a way of attempting to discredit and thus seriously damage a long-term and very profitable Pattaya business? If you do hear a rumour, ask the person relaying it how they found out. If you can, find out how this other person came to hear the rumour. My guess is that in most cases you’ll run into a dead end long before the source of the rumour can be traced. The Best in the North? Most of the southern end of Pattaya and Jomtien are reasonably well served with nosheries serving French fare, but for those living in and around the northern reaches of the metropolis a new French place opened its doors in mid May. Called L’Ami Pierrot it is located on Third Road, opposite the Pattaya Driving Range and Ursula’s Antiques. Run by the interesting and friendly Didier Pierrot -who has been operating a similarly-named munching den in New Caledonia for the past decade- L’Ami Pierrot is currently open only for dinner, seven days a week. There is a daily set menu consisting of pate starter, salad, main meal, and dessert, all for just 299 baht. There is also an extensive a la carte menu. The pate comes out in two large baking dishes and customers are invited to indulge to their heart’s content. You have to be careful, because the pate is delicious and it would be easy to over-indulge. Pierrot says the pate, and foie gras, can be ordered in amounts above one kilo as a take-away, with two days notice (Tel: 038 370 704). The main meal fills the plate and the desserts are typically rich. The restaurant has eight tables inside and two outside, with plenty of street parking nearby. L’Ami Pierrot opens for business at 6:30PM and is well worth putting on your list of places to chow down. Try this Quick Quiz: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Piece of Pith: Young men go West, old men go East. (from Jim Tully, a novel by Anthony Aiken, pub. 1995)

Magy It was not marked on the whole area map in the orintation section of pattayapages.com which was a bit of an ommission. I have just updated the map and marked it clearly.

Look Out for Those Spots: For those who may be interested in listening to a chat by one of the more fascinating foreigners living in Thailand, then Henry J. Beans on Sunday 25 June is the place to be. Mo Tejani, an Indian Muslim by ancestry, but a man of many world’s by life experience, has been invited by one of the two expats clubs operating in Fun Town, to chat about his first volume of memoirs, entitled A Chameleon’s Tale. Produced by Paiboon Publishing, the book is a terrific read, well written, nicely observed, and deserving of a place on any thinking person’s bookshelves. I understand the book has only just been released, but it should be available at all leading bookstores throughout the city at a recommended retail price of 495 baht, as well as via the internet at www.dcothai.com by the beginning of July. Two in a Row: Sunday evening 25 June will see the Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond) hold its second consecutive monthly in-house dance contest. In previous years the chrome pole palace held a contest every month, but this policy had fallen by the wayside in recent times, although I’m told the plan is to resurrect the monthly competitions for the rest of the year and possibly expand them to include a few other bars. The Diamond den has seen a massive change in chrome pole hugging staff in recent times and the 28 May contest saw 39 dancers competing, the majority of whom had never previously been involved in a contest of this nature. Sadly, it showed and the first round was, to put it mildly, pretty tame fare. Once the field had been reduced to 15 contestants the pace quickened and the near-capacity crowd was more appreciative. Once again, the six damsels who were finalists all received prize money, the winner picking up 3,000 baht, the runner-up 2,000 baht and the other four girls slipping 1,000 baht into their purses. Another 4,000 baht was handed out in other prizes. Something to Tilt At: It has taken a long time and a lot of trial and error, but it seems as if the Windmill ogling den (Soi Diamond) has finally managed to put together a strong winning formula. When it first opened its doors late in 2005 and for the few months after that the place was a complete waste of time, but in recent weeks it has hit its straps and is now drawing a decent crowd. The place is nicely appointed, although the actual layout wasn’t as well thought out as it should have been regarding maximising bums on seats. The problem is the horn-shaped cloth seating which is capable of taking a comfortable five or six customers, but with a dancing table stuck right in front it means if someone in the middle wants to get out, then the punters alongside him have to move as well. It also means if someone is perched at one end of the seat and someone else is at the other end, then the middle section is going to waste. The quality of the dancing damsels has improved exponentially in recent times. They move from the centre stage to the tables spread about the den, each time giving punters an interesting perspective regarding their physical charms. When I went in there were around 20-plus chrome pole molesters cavorting about in skimpy apparel, but what makes the bar a winner is that most of the damsels are friendly and inter-act with the customers. The den is one of the early openers on Walking Street with happy hour running between and 7:00 and 9:00PM with draught amber at just 35 baht and house liver wasters at 50 baht. Lady drinks are 100 baht while draught amber is 50 baht all night after happy hour and house liver wasters a very reasonable 75 baht. Finally, an ogling den prepared to cater to those who like their hard liquor rather than the amber froth. Well worth a visit. Should be Stripped of its Stripes: The Tiger Club table-thumping den (upstairs, Soi Diamond) proved to be a disappointment when I finally made it through its doors. The music was good, better than in many similar establishments and the décor fresh and clean and the seating comfortable. There were around 20 dancers, but most looked like typical farmer’s daughters, fresh from the paddy fields with their chunky legs. There were a few old veterans of many a high season campaign attempting to wring a few more 100 baht lady drinks out of unwary punters. In fairness, as I’ve mentioned before, as more and more dens open, the competition for the available pool of ogling den talent (and I use this word in its broadest possible sense) is intense. As many people have noted, there are females donning the g-string these days who would have been laughed out of any self-respecting establishment a decade ago. It will be interesting to see what happens during this low season, which is already looking to be a tougher one than recent years. How many of the current crop of dens will survive? Music without Ferry: The old Club Electric Blue (Walking Street) has been undergoing yet another refurbishment and is set to open in July under the name Roxy. Big Andy told me, “We’re not a show bar, we’re show business.” My understanding is the place will not be a standard ogling den, nor a table dancing palace, or a late-night boogie barn, but a combination of all three…as well as a pizza parlour and visa extension centre. OK, I made those last two up, but with Big Andy, you never know. Naughty and Naughtier: Another place that has struggled for a long time to make itself useful in the chrome pole palace stakes has been Naughty Girls (Soi Diamond), but after a complete makeover the place re-opened towards the end of May with a completely new look and feel. It’s a definite improvement. There are about 25 or more damsels of the chrome pole shuffle employed to empty wallets, some of whom could easily pass for the lead character in Nabakov’s Lolita. I’d like to kindly suggest to the management they ditch the brown dancing apparel. There are some attractive girls employed in the den but the cut and style of the bikini does nothing to enhance their figure. Lady drinks are 100 baht, with liver wasters a sensible 95 baht. On the Lookout Again: After making a definitely positive impact on the overall balance sheet of the Babewatch ogling den (Covent Garden complex, Walking Street) in recent weeks, Rambling Ricky has once again found himself on the outer, being dropped from the meeting and greeting duties at the end of May. This seems a strange move considering the shape the place was in before he came aboard. He had attracted a bevy of quality chrome pole molesters, introduced some popular risqué shows, and handled the general operational duties with his usual aplomb. One joint’s loss is potentially another’s gain, so if you’re a bar owner and happen to be looking for someone who really does know his way around a boozer, then you couldn’t go far wrong with a guy like Ricky. Tis the Season for Belt Tightening: This low season is looking to be one of the toughest in recent times if empiric evidence and street talk are anything to go by. Almost every bar owner is reporting a definite downturn in trade and it’s expats and regulars who are keeping many places in bread and butter. It’s pretty clear there’s not too much in the way of walking wallets in town when you can walk into a joint and recognise half or more of the faces propping up the bar-stools. Of course, the prime culprit being awarded the gold medal for this season’s malaise is some big football match taking place in the Land of Bratwurst. Whether it’s true or not, Fun Town can expect to be quiet for a few months to come. Piece of Pith: ‘If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.’ –Johnny Carson

Beached and Done For: The girls plying that oldest of professions along the Beach Road promenade have consistently and constantly been on the receiving end of bad press, be it in editorials, news items, or letters to the editor in local and national publications. The letters to the editor are usually classics of hyperbole. These correspondents claim everyone taking a stroll along Beach Road will be approached practically every step of the way by disease-ridden, aggressive, ya-bah ingesting thieves who suggest the most outrageous acts imaginable for the price of a few coins. They claim foreign men walking with their wives or girlfriends -be they foreign or Thai- are all fair game. This is all such complete and utter rubbish I often wonder if the people who write this garbage are actually living in the same space-time continuum as the rest of us, or somehow keep finding themselves sauntering unknowingly into a parallel universe. In all the years I’ve spent perambulating about this fair town it’s been my experience the girls on the beach, apart from being well within reach - to paraphrase a Beach Boys tune- are not pushy or aggressive. In fact, if anything, they are less intrusive now than they were a few short years ago. You will almost certainly be called out to or smiled at if you are wandering along Beach Road at a pace that clearly indicates you are looking for company. If you are walking at a reasonable pace and have the air of someone heading somewhere specific then it’s rare for anyone to call out to you, let alone make a physical approach. Since I started seeing these deliberately misleading and grossly exaggerated missives in various publications (Bangkok Post, The Nation, Pattaya Mail, Pattaya Today et al) I’ve made a point of noting my own experiences as I stroll down the Beach Road promenade at various times of the day and night. I’ve also asked everyone I know who possesses the ability to speak the English language without dribbling or making the sort of noises you would expect from just-released mental patients, and all have similar experiences to myself. There is a belief among some people that the Beach Road walkers and sitters are only there because they can’t or won’t get jobs working in beer boozers and ogling dens. Supposedly the majority were all so full of sexually transmitted diseases the area could have been cordoned off as a health hazard. There is almost no doubt some of the girls weren’t clean; yet I’ve known enough people to catch all sorts of unpleasant infections from girls they’ve taken from the most prominent of bars. In truth, I doubt the numbers of girls carrying a nasty little surprise in the nether regions working on Beach Road is any greater than many of the boozers around town. Chat to enough of these girls and you’ll find many who happen to be ‘moonlighting’ on their days/nights off. Some decided it was far easier to sit around the beach area and attract customers, going to ‘work’ when they chose and stopping at their leisure. Others happen to be working in factories in the province and come down for an occasional dalliance in order to bolster their meagre incomes. Still others are college and university students dabbling in that oldest of professions as a way of making a few more baht for a night out with their friends or to make enough to purchase the latest mobile phone. What really amazes me about the vitriolic letters sent to editors are those from people who clearly live in and around Pattaya. I can only wonder at why these people chose to live here. Jomtien is just over the hill, Ban Chang, Bang Saray, Sri Racha, and Bang Saen are not far away. Why set up house in Pattaya and then complain about an industry that has been operating here for decades? It’s akin to moving to Chernobyl and then complaining about the presence of a broken down nuclear reactor. Short-changed Again: My reader recently sent in an eminently sensible suggestion for all: always count your change, no matter whether you’re buying a drink in an ogling den or beer boozer or simply shopping at one of the many supermarkets or corner stores around town. The reason for my reader’s concern is encapsulated in the following story that he says happened to him: ‘I was at Family Mart buying typical stay-at-home supplies for the evening; chips, cookies, a few beers, a few coolers for the lass, ice, and whatnot. Even though I hadn’t kept track, the amount didn’t ‘feel right’, and asked for my receipt, which they don’t normally give. Included was a 50-baht phone card! I pointed that out and he handed me a phone card. I said I didn’t want the card but 50-baht back, which he reluctantly did. The next time I bought a mix of miscellaneous items there I checked, and again was [charged for a ] 50-baht phone card. This time I was more vocal and complained…they apologized but offered no explanation. A week later it happened again! This time I was VERY vocal in a store full of customers. The guy claimed the register was broken and sometimes added these cards by mistake. I told him the next time the ‘register’ made a mistake I would call the police to come check it out!’ Of course mistakes do happen, although it’s amazing how 99.99 percent of the time it’s never in your favour. I can guarantee each night across the bars of Fun Town there are a few dozen punters being stitched up by that time-honoured practice known as bill padding. Anyone who has six or more drinks at one bar is a potential victim of bill padding from unscrupulous cashiers and serving wenches, and even dodgy owners and their paramours. The Price of Thirst Quenching: Interesting point made to me the other day by American Stan, one of the partners in the Cheers laid-back boozer (Pattayaland Soi 2), regarding the price of Singha amber fluid. When they set up shop almost 18 years ago, they were selling a bottle of Singha for 45 baht and the greenback bought 25 baht for one dollar. Now, they sell Singha at 65 baht, but the US dollar will now purchase almost 40 baht. It doesn’t take a mathematical genius to work out that it is now cheaper to drink in Fun Town than it was almost two decades ago. Of course, the reverse is also the case when it comes to the far more important mattress dancing stakes. The Keynesian economists of Pattaya -collectively known as bar girls- were pretty quick to start upping their ‘roll in the rice field’ prices in the period after the Asian crisis of 1997. Most were well aware currencies such as sterling and the US dollar had skyrocketed against the baht and were quick to use that plaintive cry, “small money for you”, in order to extract ever larger sums for their lie-back-and-think-of-som dtam performances. Numbers Keep Going: Concurrent with the growth in nightclub-style entertainment in Fun Town (Players finally opened its doors, after a slight delay, on 8 May), the number of ogling dens continues to hold firm. Although seven chrome pole palaces have already closed their doors this year alone, they have more than been replaced by seven new dens. The latest is Images, the fifth in the Covent Garden complex (Soi 16, off Walking Street), which opened around 3 May. This makes it the 40th of its genre on or about Walking Street. The latest away from the main strip to open is Memories (Soi LK Metro), which has been going since late March and is the 26th den outside of Walking Street. Tales from the Crib: Language misunderstandings are always going to occur whenever you couple a Thai female with a foreign male. Sometimes it’s just an inflection, occasionally it’s whole sentences. In one case it was one word leading to confusion. An English-speaking foreigner on holiday in Fun Town had taken a damsel from a beer boozer for a night of playing hide-the-salami. In the morning the damsel -whose English was limited to the standard ‘what you name?’, ‘where you come from?’ patois- showered and dressed and then said to her paramour, “I’m horny.” Flattered that she was clearly making another offer of intimacy the man duly brought her onto the bed and proceeded to satisfy her every whim. Upon completion she again showered and dressed but once more intoned, “I’m horny.” Although somewhat of a spent force by this time, the man once more rose to the occasion and tried to satisfy his seemingly insatiable partner. For a third time she showered and dressed and for a third time she said, “I’m horny.” By now the man was thinking the demure creature who had shyly accompanied him the previous evening was Pattaya’s greatest nymphomaniac. Taking a line from Shakespeare’s Henry V, it was ‘once more into the breach’ and this time, he fervently hoped, she’d be well and truly satiated. After she showered and dressed for the fourth time she once more stated, “I’m horny”, only this time she accompanied her statement with the standard and universally understood action of rubbing her stomach to indicate she was, in fact, hungry. It was only then it dawned on the man the girl had all along been trying to say she was ‘hungry’ not ‘horny’. Piece of Pith: ‘Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.’ –W.C. Fields

Have you read the instructions at the top of the video board and installed the codecs? Have you tried the vlc player, it is free and works with almost any video. You can get it here VLC Player If none of that works and sexy beast can't help you, I'll need more info on what happens when you try and play a video.

Easy going, once you are registered (which you are) you will see a board above this one (General discussion about Pattaya) entitled "How to join the members forum". Click on it and it re-directs you to a page explaining how to join. You can go directly to the page as well, it's http://www.pattayatalk.com/joinmembers.html

Hi eat alls This is not a free advertising site. Members who post regularly are welcome to mention their business but if you are just going to post ads, expect to be banned soon and your ads will be deleted too.

It was just a server time issue. The new server was set to the wrong time so I set it back about 6 hours. All new posts in the following six hours were not counted as new as the time had already passed. It's almost time travel. Anyway the six hours have now passed so all is back to normal. BTW everything appears to be working OK now, except the Wiki. I thinK I'll attack that tomorrow. PS: Most of the videos are still missing too but they will be uploaded over the next week or so.

Well maybe this time

and one more - time should be right now

testing again hrllo all

Yep, looks OK now.

hhhhh