PattayaPete

If you don't specify the size it will default to 150 wide by 100 high. You can specify the size in your control panel - click my controls top right of this page and go to Avatar settings. There you will see your avatar and the off site size. In this case your avatar is 100 wide by 133 hight. At the bottom of the screen is the width and height setting. The maximum height allowed is 100 so set height at 100 (75% of 133). To keep ther pics perspective you need to reduce the width by a similar percentage. 75% of 100 is 75 so set the width to 75. I've done it for you so it is not streched now.

The confusion has been caused by Thai Immigration themselves, who have said several different and conflicting things about this. The latest word is that it will be counted by actual days spent in Thailand. So, you will be allowed 90 days out of 180 regardless of how many times you enter. The problem here is that the new rule will not start to be enforced until January 2007, 90 days after it was introduced. Until we see how they deal with this in practice it is hard to say what exactly is going to happen. As whitespider says, a multi entry non-img o from Hull is a good option for you.

The Odd Couple: Take a lanky American with a pronounced drawl, add a stocky Welshman with attitude, and you have the makings of what is almost certainly the longest-running bar business partnership in Pattaya. Congratulations to Stan and Colin, the proprietors of the Cheers laid-back boozer (Pattayaland Soi 2) who celebrate 18 years in business in Fun Town in the same location, on 18 November. The bar, sans hostesses, is not the oldest on the street. It may have kicked off in 1988, but it ranks as only the fourth longest-running. The oldest bar is Sue's Place, followed by the acclaimed Mexican noshery Blue Parrot and the Viking Beachcomber. The latter is the only one not in the same location on the soi. More Than Just Beer: I know some people who've been reading this indulgence in valuable printers ink for long enough have wondered at the relative paucity of material concerning the multitude of beer boozers stretched the length and breadth of Fun Town . The reason for this is simple. In my experience, the vast majority of beer boozers are not havens full to the brim with gorgeous damsels, but rather tiny oases with the odd diamond in the rough. In other words, for every good sort willing to engage in a game or 20 of Connect Four, there are 10 or more who might best be described as ‘homely'. Therefore, the popularity, or otherwise, of a beer boozer usually comes down to the person, or persons, who own and run it. So, the following is just a small collection of places where I happen to be reasonably well-acquainted with the management (read: this means they don't ignore me even though I rarely drink anything more intoxicating than a cup of strong tea) and can recommend as at least offering a welcome to the weary traveller. One nice place is the Lek down in Soi 7, about 50 metres from Beach Road . In all the years I've been wandering into the joint there might have been four or five damsels worth a second look, so it's not a real ‘hostess' boozer. It's the kind of place you go into with a friend who knows either the eponymous Lek or her Pommy husband Charlie. I doubt many people would simply wander in off the soi of their own volition. Lek and Charlie are a very welcoming and friendly couple and if you have a hankering to listen to any particular style of music (and I do not include rap, hip hop and techno in that word ‘music'), then it's almost certain Charlie would be able to find a CD or two to satisfy even the most eclectic of tastes. In Soi 8, the Coral Reef (towards the Second Road end) can usually be counted on to have a few damsels worthy of more than a second glance. A good place to relax and watch the perambulators of Soi 8, and chat with Pommy Phil who has enough years in Fun Town to qualify for a bravery medal. Down in Soi Yamato, the Nervous Wreck, run by the friendly ‘Nervous' Dave, is a small but popular boozer. It's on the Wednesday night quiz circuit and they do pretty well, but I'm sure they'd always be happy to have a new face or three to bolster their team. It's also a good spot to watch the outlandish antics of the Jake-the-peg brigade employed in the Stringfellows meat-and-two-veg den across the road. The OK Corral in Soi Rungland (off South Pattaya Road, opposite the International Telephone Exchange) is another part of the Wednesday quiz league, as well as the Sunday quiz league, the Friday darts league, the Monday pool league and they run golf days on Tuesdays and Thursdays if my memory serves me correctly. With all that erudition and physical exertion you'd think the joint would be frequented by persons of Aryan-esque stature with memberships in Mensa. Fat chance. It's a good place to watch sport on a large TV and every now and again the personable Denis the Menace somehow snags a good sort to work behind the bar. In Walking Street, the Roo bar (for many years known as the Jan bar) is run by Bob and Roundy, a couple of good Aussie blokes, and while it might lack a crew of hot sorts just salivating at the thought of a wide-eyed punter taking them home for a night of romance, it's a great and friendly place to watch the passing parade on Fun Town's premier stretch of tarmac. The Wallet Snipping Club: While this column and its comments represent my own personal feelings and attitudes, I tend to go out and about with a variety of locals and visitors and take into account their feelings about the places we visit in the desire to gain a consensus with regard to what I write. This preamble is necessary in the context of what follows. The Beavers table-shufflers den ( Walking Street ) celebrated its first anniversary on 12 October. The place has about 15 or 16 damsels of varying shapes, sizes and age brackets and while it offers draught amber at the traditional discounted prices, everything else is at ‘gouge' level. I say this because one of my friends, who recently flogged a farm in his homeland for the equivalent of more than 50 million baht -and he wasn't short of the folding stuff before that anyway- made a comment to me about the price of the libations (from 100 baht for lolly water to 135 baht for a top-shelf snifter). He also wasn't impressed with the quality of the table shufflers and suggested we decamp and check out the Happy gogo. He decided not only were the prices in Happy reasonable, but the numbers and quality of the dancing damsels far superior to those in Beavers. On another evening I went into the Hooty's agogo ( Walking Street ) with a mate, who is also not short of a few spare baht. On this occasion we had just come from Happy, where a top-shelf liver waster retails at 105 baht. In Hooty's, the same thirst-quencher went off at 130 baht. That said, the dancing damsels in Hooty's are a friendly and accommodating bunch and the place has a generally good atmosphere; I happen to think they need to look a little more closely at their pricing policy. Increasingly I hear more and more people, of diverse nationalities but with plenty of ‘wedge', make comments regarding what they consider to be price gouging in many gogos, beer boozers and especially the late night boogie barns. These people are not two-week millionaires on holiday from a factory job in Asphyxiation, Alabama , they are the real deal. They could spend more money in a day than most of the two-week millionaires earn in a month; but they know the value of a dollar or a pound or a baht and refuse to be bludgeoned. A wealthy Englishman, with businesses and houses in Spain , told me, “In some of these places they are charging more money for a drink than I'd pay in England !” The argument that “in England/America/Australia you'd be paying xyz more to see than what you get here” doesn't wash when you make the relevant price per capita comparisons, especially since there isn't a bar owner in Fun Town paying anything like the hourly rates of staff in the aforementioned countries. The reason 98 percent of people go into a palace of the chrome pole is to perve on the women. There are many people I know who don't mind what they pay for a thirst-quencher, but their priority is in numbers and quality of the women on show. Once a customer realises he's being taken for an idiot, the chances are you'll lose him. Witness the demise of Pattayaland Soi 2 as a prime example. What impresses me about Happy -and the similarly-managed Peppermint as well as Diamond and the Casino Club late-night boogie barn - is they seem to have taken the ‘if it ain't broke don't fix it' attitude. All these places offer tremendous value-for-money in their libations pricing policy and are absolutely awash with dancing damsels, the very reason most people go into a den of the chrome pole. They seem to take the Chinese style of profit-making: have a large turnover and turn a small profit each time, which eventually equates to a tidy sum each and every night. That's why they've stayed on top for such a long time and will probably continue to be in the forefront even as more and more competition opens around them. Around and About: According to Deadly Derek of The Clinic sports emporium and boozer (Soi Yamato), Chris Henderson has flogged off his founding partnership in the well-known Dogs Bollocks beer boozer and has returned to the Land of Coal Baths. The aforementioned Clinic kicked off in about 1990 and since that time Deadly claims to have noted 165 foreign bar owners and investors who have hung out a shingle along Soi Yamato and then departed with threadbare wallets. Piece of Pith: It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

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Chrome Pole Round Robin: The first series of Sunday night dirty dancing contests between four of Walking Street's most closely-connectedgogos have been completed. Captain Picard, helmsman of the Living Dolls Showcase shake-rattle & roll den, spent a few weeks lolling about soaking up the sun on a Greek island or two and all those UV rays gave him an idea to run a dance contest in The Dollhouse, on Sunday night 8 October. The contestants were to be drawn from the home team as well as Club Boesche, Living Dolls Showcase and Hooty's. The idea quickly grew into a full-on series of contests. With a substantial first prize of 10,000 baht, 5,000 baht for second, 3,000 baht for third and 2,000 baht for fourth, there were 16 dancers marshalled into teams of four for the contests. The contests in The Dollhouse -and a week later in Club Boesche- were not long-winded and attracted good crowds, proving that people are always interested in seeing something a little different from the standard chrome pole molesting and table tapping. The third in the series of contests took place on 29 October in the Hooty's show-me-the-flange den. The fourth dance contest will be held in Living Dolls Showcase on Sunday 5 November. This will be part of a three or four-day series of on-going events to celebrate the fourth anniversary of Pattaya's first genuine show palace. Captain Picard has been mentally preparing himself for what may prove to be three or four days of nursing the mother of all hangovers, with the official date of the four-year anniversary being Thursday 2 November. The fifth contest, scheduled for Sunday night 12 November, sees the circus back at its starting point in The Dollhouse. First Tuesday in November: The Boxing Roo (Third Road, just across from Soi Lengkee) is the place to be around 10:00AM (yes, that's in the morning, unfortunately) on Tuesday 7 November for the running of one of the greatest horse races in the world: the Melbourne Cup. The Melbourne Cup is a real horse race, not like those namby-pamby ‘classics' of the turf for precocious three-year-olds such as the Kentucky Derby (run on dirt of all things) or the English Derby (run on a track that goes left, right, up, down and sideways so half the field needs a compass to work out where the hell they are), or the admittedly-rugged Grand National where horses are made to jump over a lot of fences in search of the winning post. The Cup is 3200 metres (two miles in the old money) and over the past decade and a half or so a lot of horses from Ireland and England have come over to try and win the event. Many are highly credentialed (racing parlance for ‘they've won a lot of races with fancy names') and most have failed, probably because Australian jockeys ride tighter than a 45-year-old virgin in a snowdrift and the foreign nags and their riders are used to having room to move. If you want to have a wager I'm told there are people, possibly in pork pie hats and talking out of the side of their mouths in raspy voices, who may be willing to accommodate this unusual human urge. Just tell the people at the door, “Shifty sent me”. There's a horse named Sphenophyta –the cognomen puts me in mind of a serious lung disease- that my spies in the Aussie racing game tell me is one of the popular local picks for the race, but they suggest it's a year too early. So, if you can find someone who wants to back the thing, take their money. The Boxing Roo has apparently linked up with the mob producing San Miguel amber fluid -possibly the best thing to leave the Philippines since General MacArthur- and they will be serving up this froth at a mere 40-baht a bottle all day. As an added bonus, there will be a slew of San Miguel promotional damsels and a band to entertain punters between races on what is one of Australia's greatest social occasions. Seven Years With Hardly an Itch: The Diamond gogo (Soi Diamond) celebrated its seventh anniversary with a slap-up party on Thursday night 19 October. I've watched its progress over that 84 months as it developed from a run-of-the-mill joint into one of the best in Fun Town becoming well-known for its monthly in-house dance contests. It has undergone a number of internal structural refurbishments, each one an improvement on the last, and if the anniversary party was anything to go by, there has been a very positive recruitment drive and the number and quality of the dancing damsels is once more back into the top echelon. The girls from the Lickem-on-Toppe (and any other position you care to name) school of speaking in tongues were in fine unspoken form on anniversary night. It's Dog Eat Dog and Pussy Eat…: The Coyotee's gogo (Soi Marina Plaza) should have run the first of a planned monthly series of dance contests on Sunday night 29 October with the damsels of the local establishment pitted against a number of ladies of the chrome pole who were to be bussed in from places in Soi Cowboy in Bangkok. In my own experience of witnessing Pattaya versus Bangkok contests I've noticed the local lasses really know how to reach a level of raunchiness that leaves their Bangkok cousins with a pout worthy of a Coral Sea grouper. Again, because of these pesky editorial deadlines I am unable to bring you any lick-by-lick descriptions of the action, but as soon as I know the date for round two I shall make sure it appears in print. A Little Bit of The Other: I suspect Rambling Ricky has a little bit of the Romany gypsy in him. He is now propping up a bar stool in the long-running FLB lounge lizard libation room (Walking Street). How long will it be before the demure and shy hostesses of FLB are lured into cavorting about formica tables sans apparel? The former Babewatch gogo (Soi 16), a previous (or should that be ‘pervious') hangout of Rambling Ricky's, re-opened as the Taboo Club on Thursday night 19 October. The entrance is now, sensibly, right opposite the Catz and Club Boesche gogo's doors. The door looks like something you might find propping up the sandstone walls of a mediaeval castle: all oak wood and weighing 300 tonnes. Then you've got to go across an iron bridge that traverses a flowing stream; I kid you not. The place looks pretty impressive, although it had that dungeon lighting feel. Maybe the owners are hoping to save on the electric bills. I only stayed for a brief minute and will give a more in-depth report once the new owners have had time to settle in and iron out whatever areas need work. The Club Electric Blue Jnr gogo (Soi Diamond) is being refurbished and was, according to Big Andy, ready to re-open for business around the beginning of November. A den to be called Club 69, situated on the site of the old Nui's gogo in Soi 15, is also due to open in the early part of November. It's within a dry g-string's throw of its sister dens Baby Dolls and XXX. The latter opened in mid-October while the former spread its legs at the beginning of October. Both XXX and Baby Dolls are small, boutique-like chrome pole palaces (thankfully not the size of a broom closet like Angels ). Baby Dolls plays hip-hop and house music while XXX is a rock-n-roll den. I'm told there are plans to have a half-price happy hour between 8:00 and 10:00PM, which is sensible given the multitude of attractions elsewhere on and about Walking Street. Baby Dolls has a reach-out-and-touch-me intimacy about it. There's no long stage as such, just a series of raised circular platforms and the dancers are pretty much at eye-level. A few of the girls seem to have misplaced parts of their most basic apparel. There are about 15-20 dancing damsels, with shapes and sizes to suit all tastes and although it's only been opened for a short period it's far from the worst place in Fun Town. With a little bit of tweaking in pricing policy and a few more dancers it could probably be a place worth putting on your list as a frequent haunt. Remember the Alamo: No, this is not a sudden lurch into American history, but a quick note for those who may recall The Alamo beer boozer in Soi 8, situated next door to the Silver Star gogo, which suddenly rolled down the shutters a few weeks ago after Garrulous Gary went ‘missing' yet again. The Alamo has been plagued in recent times by a succession of rumours regarding its status, but it is now well and truly ‘occupied' by a new management. I will always recall the Alamo as the place where I sat and watched, with a group of American expats and others, the incredulous events of 11 September 2001 unfold. Piece of Pith: Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.

Confusion caused by the Immigration people who have said both things. As I understand it now they have settled on 90 out of 180 days in and out as often as you like. The bottom line here is that if you intend to stay for longer than 30 days you should get a tourist visa (issued by your local Thai Embassy). No 90 day restrictions and if you get a double entry you can stay for 6 months leaving the country once during that time.

Paradise by the Soi Buakhow Light: The Paradise ogling den (Soi Buakhow) finally opened its doors at the beginning of October with about 18 or so dancing damsels; not a bad effort for a new place not exactly on the beaten track. It’s at the Tuesday/Friday market end of Soi Buakhow, just around the corner from the intriguingly-named Wor Jackies. There’s nothing outstanding about the place, but if you happen to be wandering about in this part of town and feel a sudden urge to partake of a libation or two in air-conditioned comfort while perving on a few ladies in precious little attire, then it’s worth a look. Not so Poxy: When the former Club Electric Blue ogling den (Walking Street) was extensively subjected to the three r’s: rearrangement, refurbishment, and renovation and then re-opened as the Roxy dancing palace, it was given some of the worst reviews I’ve heard in a long while. Bearing this in mind, I decided it was best to let the new management sort out the glitches and hopefully settle into a rhythm before going in and adding my two satangs worth. Upstairs has gone, replaced with a very high ceiling, which I guess is good if you’re a non-smoker as cigarette smoke probably goes up to the roof. Must be a bugger trying to change the light bulbs. The layout is clean and bright with a series of narrow, raised tables with seating at each for about six people. Before it opened it was being touted as a new ‘concept’ entertainment venue. Perhaps the owners were thinking about what singer Randy Newman called ‘short people’ and the ‘concept’ is aimed at dwarves or midgets as the bar stools at the rim of the dancing stage are surely the smallest in Fun Town. As for what else might be termed conceptual, the introduction of hanging metal chains in place of the traditional chrome poles and strobe lighting that would bring on an epileptic fit in a heartbeat are hardly stunning innovations. There are about 30 or so ladies of easy virtue working the floor and the stage, varying from the well-fed and wrinkled to the svelte and barely legal. See-through tops and very short skirts are the uniform. There are a few reasonably well-choreographed shows, none of them particularly exciting, nor are they done anywhere near as well as those in Angelwitch (Soi 15). It’s far from the worst place in Fun Town, but I see it more as the type of joint for one drink only. They do nice postcards. Up on The Roof: As regular readers of this missive will be well aware, I rarely write much about beer boozers. The main reason for this is the simple fact most joints are very much dependant on the personality of the owner/managers, rather than the ladies employed, to attract customers to the place. The Rooftop (right at the Bay end of the new clutch of joints above the Siren complex at the entrance to Walking Street) is not really a beer boozer in the strict sense of the word, it’s more a place to shoot some pool (there are three small tables), throw a few darts (at a dartboard of course), relax on the settees and look out over Pattaya Bay, or play a few carnival-style games with the rather fetching brace of ladies employed to help empty your wallet. One of these is the water dunking game whereby a girl, or two, sits on a metal seat above a small pool of water and a customer buys three balls (for 250 baht) and attempts to hit a target that will cause the seat to give way and the girl/s wind up getting wet, in the water sense, not the knee-trembling sense, although this might happen later. The owners formerly ran The Roof beer boozer upstairs in Soi Diamond, a place very popular with the US navy and marine personnel around the Cobra Gold military exercises each year, which might explain why part of their promotion involves music such as urban beatz and hip hop. This is a place I could imagine being great fun on the right sort of night. An Expensive Silver Lining: In the last issue I may have led a few people astray when I noted that the new Silver Star ogling den was the ‘first ogling den in Walking Street’; what I meant, of course, is it is the first den of the chrome pole you come to when you first wander under the Walking Street sign. The entrance is by way of a long, dark tunnel; there’s some kind of Jungian maternal complex lurking in the psychosis of the people who put this together. I’ve since taken time to partake of a libation or two in the Club Boesche clone. Anyone who’s been into Club Boesche (Soi 16, Walking Street) will immediately recognise the layout. The place is divided into two floors, the downstairs fairly stock standard with a motley crew of chrome pole molesters and plenty of mirrors while above is the almost de rigueur glass-bottomed stage where, surprise, surprise, there are young ladies of clearly impoverished circumstance cavorting about in a pair of shoes and a beckoning smile. There’s also the Jacuzzi into which a couple of extroverted damsels happily cover themselves in soap suds and conduct a searching exploration of each other’s anatomy. Sound familiar? Club Boesche has a downstairs Jacuzzi, and an upstairs with a glass-bottomed stage. I guess the management of Club Boesche should be flattered that someone has taken their design and deigned to make an almost exact copy. The music, not surprisingly, is standard car alarm and although it has quite a few alluring dancing damsels, it’s not a place offering value for money for a libation: 110 baht for bottled amber fluid and 130 baht for house liver wasters. Compare that with other Walking Street places such as Peppermint, Happy, Super Baby and Super Girl to mention just four dens with lower drinks prices and at least twice the number of dancers. Casting the Net: The second edition of the 52-page glossy magazine Pattaya by Night is now well and truly available on the Internet at either www.dcothai.com or www.pattayabooks.net Webmaster Danny is steadily recovering from his attempt to imitate a bird by launching himself from a ladder and is back at work, albeit not quite at his previous frenetic pace. If you think I have an interest in this magazine, give yourself a gold star. Watching the Defectives: Next door to the Coyotee’s ogling den in Soi Marina Plaza is a little place called the Bondi Burgers Inn. As the name might suggest to some, the place is run by an expat Aussie and offers decent-sized hamburgers (with French fries) at just 100 baht. The place also operates as a boozer with most libations containing alcoholic substances at about 80 baht. Quite a nice place to sit and watch as your favourite damsel of the chrome pole comes sauntering by on her way to her place of employment, or as she clings tighter than a rainforest leech to the latest walking wallet prepared to pay for a night of exchanging bodily fluids. Tweaking at the Edges: Talking of Coyotee’s, the management decided to bring forward the start of their nightly shows from 10:00PM to 9:30PM. There are also plans to make a few cosmetic changes to the layout of the den, with the fireman’s pole, rarely used by the dancing damsels to make their entrance, will be turned into a feature of some kind. There’s unconfirmed talk of another dance contest to be slated for the last week or so of October, but as of going to press this is yet to be announced. Open and Closed, Come and Gone: The 1969 ogling den (Naklua Road) -previously known as Kittens and before that as Pussycat (at the time, one of the best houses of the chrome pole in Pattaya)- closed its doors a couple of months ago and reports say it will be turned into a 7-11. Lanky Bob, who held court in the den when it kicked off (I think in about 1995) and stayed until it changed to 1969, is now happily ensconced in the increasingly popular Catz ogling den (Soi 16, Covent Garden complex). Rambling Ricky, after spending a couple or three months propping up his end of the bar in Catz, has now moved amicably on to unfamiliar pastures by taking up the meeting and greeting duties in the FLB lounge lizard libation room (Walking Street). I think he’ll be a great success in the joint although I wonder how long it will be before the hostesses are cajoled into putting on the odd lick-em-where-the-baby’s-head-appears show? Early October saw the opening of two new ogling dens, Baby Dolls and XXX, side by side in Soi 15. Both small, they are set to be joined by a third, a couple of metres away and on the site of the old Nui’s chrome pole closet, which should be up and running by the time you read this. Depending on your point of view, this clutch will take the score of ogling dens on Walking Street alone to 44. The rooms for rent above the Secrets lounge lizard libation room (Soi 14) are now completed and availablefor sleeping and other nocturnal activities. The London Clock assures me the room rates extremely competitive, considering the location. Try this Quick Quiz: What does the word ‘benign’ mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Piece of Pith: Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Well it's the second time in the last couple of days you have come across a bit arrogant. I can't be sure but I seem to remember similar cards at home for registered items, just saying to hand the card into the local Post Office without giving directions. Whatever, the point is that these little things can drive you crazy and turn you into a loud mouthed whinging expat if you are not careful. I think we all know that Thais use a different sort of logic. If you live here, get used to it because its not changing anytime soon. If you want to keep your blood pressure under control learn to laugh about it and come to the board for directions.

You really do have an unpleasant way with words Perturbed. Please don't become one of those bitter expats I see around the place. Chill out and enjoy the good things here and deal with the bad in a pleasant manner. To get there from Sukhumvit and Pattaya Klang, head north along Sukhumvit Rd, past the lights at Pattaya Nua then turn left at the next traffic lights in Naklua. Just past the market on the left there is a bend in the road. The post office is on the left just past the bend.

Dancing for Dollars: The Dollhouse a gogo (Walking Street) is the place to be on Sunday night 8 October from about 9:00PM onwards when they hold their first dirty dancing contest since the place was taken over a few months ago. Long-timers will probably remember the early days of the den when a few similar contests were conducted, and they were well worth snaffling a seat for. Captain Picard, one of the organisers, tells me the contest will feature about 20 dancers, including chrome pole exponents from Living Dolls Showcase (Walking Street) and Club Boesche (Soi 16, Covent Garden complex) as well as a few freelancers. More Urban Renewal: The demise of that ghastly long-running rip-off joint masquerading as an gogo called Marilyn's was about a decade too late. Now, in its place, an entirely new and renovated mini-complex of about eight bars has arisen atop the Siren beer boozer clutch at the Beach Road entrance to Walking Street. The leader of the new set is the Highway Star gogo, which opened its rather large doors on 18 August. It's big, some 250 square metres so I was told by manager Khun Satit, one of Fun Town's best-known Thai gogo operators. The den is under the same ownership as its former namesake in Walking Street (now operating as The Roof late-night boogie barn) and boasts probably the biggest dancing stage in the city. There are between 11 and 12 dancing damsels hugging the chrome poles at any one time, but because of the size of the stage it looks like just six or so. The music is standard car alarm, listenable if not exciting; there is bench seating as well as stools and libations run from the usual draught amber at 55 baht to house liver wasters at 95 baht. There is a wide selection of damsels from the young to the older warriors and they range in size from small and lean through to the well-fed variety; basically, someone to suit all tastes. There are the usual raft of shows, many of which have been a feature of Thai-run dens since Eve first started demanding Adam pay bar fines in fruit. One of these is the dancer-as-chicken, or the lay-an-egg show. This involves a birthday-suited damsel placing a hard-boiled egg where the sun only shines if she's doing the front bits on a nude beach and then aiming it into a spirit tumbler. The shows don't do much for me, but the den itself is worth a look. Up on The Roof: As regular readers of this missive will be well aware, I rarely write much about beer boozers. The main reason for this is the simple fact most joints are very much dependant on the personality of the owner/managers, rather than the ladies employed, to attract customers to the place. The Rooftop (right at the Bay end of the new clutch of joints above the Siren complex at the entrance to Walking Street) is not really a beer boozer in the strict sense of the word, it's more a place to shoot some pool (there are three small tables), throw a few darts (at a dartboard of course), relax on the settees and look out over Pattaya Bay, or play a few carnival-style games with the rather fetching brace of ladies employed to help empty your wallet. One of these is the water dunking game whereby a girl, or two, sits on a metal seat above a small pool of water and a customer buys three balls (for 250 baht) and attempts to hit a target that will cause the seat to give way and the girl/s wind up getting wet, in the water sense, not the knee-trembling sense, although this might happen later. The owners formerly ran The Roof beer boozer upstairs in Soi Diamond, a place very popular with the US navy and marine personnel around the Cobra Gold military exercises each year, which might explain why part of their promotion involves music such as urban beatz and hip hop. This is a place I could imagine being great fun on the right sort of night. Two Stars of Silver: The new holder of the ‘first gogo you come to in Walking Street' award is Silver Star, which opened its doors on 16 September. It's under the same ownership of the similarly named den of the chrome pole in Soi 8. The entrance is by way of a long, dark tunnel; there's some kind of Jungian maternal complex lurking in the psychosis of the people who put this together. Inside the place is divided into two floors, the downstairs fairly stock standard with a motley crew of chrome pole molesters while above is the almost de rigueur glass-bottomed stage where, surprise, surprise, there are young ladies of clearly impoverished circumstance cavorting about in a pair of shoes and a beckoning smile. Come to Paradise: I mentioned it a short while ago but it seems I was a bit premature (something many a young lass has expressed to me in the past, although not quite using those words), but the Paradise gogo (Soi Buakhow) has finally opened its doors to offer dancing maidens cavorting around chrome poles. I had a brief look and the place sported about a dozen damsels of varying attraction, bedecked in the standard g-string format. Piece of Pith: ‘Home has nothing to do with hearth, and everything to do with a state of mind;' (Pico Iyer, Video Night in Kathmandu; 1988)

I am sad to say that yes it is a scam and that by donating money you are helping tp perpetuate the scam. You are not helping these people by giving money, you are hurting them. Same with the kids selling chewing gum. You will not see genuine beggars in Pattaya or around the farang areas of Bangkok. It is all tied up and controlled by bad people. The Bangkok police recently issued a press release asking people and especially tourists not to give money to these people. The police have a lot of trouble trying to control the situation as there is just too much money being made. The gang leaders are well connected and pay large kickbacks to authorities. The reason you see these people out at night, five and six year old kids included, is because their bosses send them out at times when farangs are about. Babies are shared out among the group and often "perform" 24 hours a day with different "mothers". All the money they get is given to the bosses, who in return provide them with minimal food and terrible living conditions. A lot of the beggars are illegal immigrants from Cambodia and Myanmar specially brought in by the gangs. Some have been intentionally disfigured to improve their pittifulness. It is understandable that farangs feel bad when they see these poor people and want to help. That is what the scam is based on. If you genuinely want to help the less fortunate then give to one of the many legitimate charities in Thailand. There are many options you can choose and your money will really do some good rather than hurting these poor people even more. The Pattaya Orphanage and the Street Kid Centre are obvious examples. If you do not have the time or inclination to get involved with organised giving and you feel strong pity for a beggar, then take them to a restaurant or street stall and buy them some food. That way you will at least know they are getting some benefit from your giving. As for the guy with no legs that slithers along on his belly. I have seen him "after work". He has a nice clean set of clothes that he changes into and artificial legs which enable him to walk perfectly well.

Actually these statistics are next to useless. They rely on people installing their spam ridden, resouce wasting toolbars to gather information. What you get is a statistical picture of how many people are stupid enough to waste their own bandwidth sending information back to them. They then use this info to prepare more spam and slow the internet down even further. Here's the alexa graph for pattayatalk.com and a real graph of traffic to the site in September taken from the server see any similarity? The second graph is the actual hit count taken by the server as it serves out the pages. It is 100% accurate. The alexa graph is a count of alexa users visiting the pages and then extrapolated across the entire world. It is absolute nonsense. Remember there are lies, damn lies and statistics.

The entries are displayed by default in the most active order. That means the most viewed entries are at the top. On the right hand side of the page is a selection box "Sort by". In that box you can select different sort routines, including alphabetical.

All the links are now fixed. Thanks sabaidii2 for the broken off topics links in the Pattaya Pages link section. I've been through and fixed or deleted the faulty ones.

It's hard to say where it.s going wrong from your post. If you email me the full size pic, I'll have a go and see what happens.

Get Down, Get Up Again: And the winner of the most awful music in Pattaya award is: the Shark gogo (upstairs, Soi Diamond). I spent a lazy hour or so consuming a couple of liver wasters and during that time was subjected to some truly dreadful aural torture. For most of the time the garbage emanating from the speakers was rap, pure and simple. Great hits (in the Bronx and parts of Harlem I would think) like, My Body Odour Smells Like a Rancid Skunk by LJ Lolly Wrapper; or My Home is a Cardboard Box by Black Belly Snake, were only broken up by Deep Purple's Smoke on the Water. I kid you not. OK, the names of the rap noise I may have wrong, but I assure you Deep Purple definitely had a run on the turntable. It has to be pretty bad when my girlfriend asked the question, “Why don't they change the music?” The place has been completely remodelled, quite nicely and comfortably, and is now solely a table dancing operation like its other brethren, Tiger Club and Shark Club. As far as the quality of the dancing damsels is concerned the place could probably be re-named the Laurel & Hardy Den. There were a collection of well-fed cavorters alongside a number who looked quite svelte. Sadly, there just weren't enough of them: I counted a total of not more than 12 ladies of the boots-on-the-table shuffle. Hardly enough to keep a dedicated pervert interested for more than a few minutes, although they are a reasonably friendly bunch. The den, as well as Tiger Club, operates a two-for-one libation offer. The spruikers situated at the bottom of the stairs hand out little tickets which customers are required to hand to a serving wench. House liver wasters are 110 baht each, but hand over the chit and two drinks will appear before you. If the management could double the number of table shufflers on their books and install a brain in the DJ (or attach his testicles to an electrical device and apply a few volts every time he plays a rap ‘tune', ala Pavlov's Dog style) then it could eventually be worth visiting more often. Nothing Too Flash: One of the longest-running gogos around town is Hot & Cold in Soi Post Office. It opens in the early afternoon, like the other pair in the same soi, Far East Rock and Club Nevada. The music is OK, and the drinks prices are very reasonable: lolly water at 60 baht and lady drinks just 80 baht, with draught amber all day and night. The damsels are not the best lookers in town, but I doubt there's anyone who expects much in the way of ‘talent' away from the dens of Walking Street. That said, there are plenty to look at and they come in all shapes, sizes, and age ranges. They're certainly a touchy-feely lot and for customers who may feel the need for a short lie down with an accommodating companion, the total cost will run to 1,300 baht. Considering their lack of dancing apparel when on stage, this doesn't seem too much to pay if the recipient is then able to purchase a nice cardigan or twin-set to provide them with some much-needed modesty. Worth wandering into if you are at a loose end one late afternoon or happen to be out and about in the Soi Post Office/Yamato area. Fay Wray Wants Outta Here: Possibly the longest-running Sierra Tango boozer in Fun Town, the King Kong gobble and go joint in Soi 6 is up for sale. I'm led to believe it's been under the same ownership for 20 years and the woman who holds the keys wants five million baht. Sounds like an ambit amount to me, but I guess it depends on whether the place comes freehold or not. Still Smiling After All These Years: Consistency. If there's one word that can sum up a few palaces of the chrome pole in Fun Town, it's consistency. Only a few have it, but one of those is the Happy gogo (Walking Street). You could stay away from this place for a few months, and I have in recent times, and yet, when you wander back in for a look you can almost guarantee you won't be disappointed. It opens at 8:00PM with a similar happy hour setup to Peppermint (to 9:30PM) and come 9:00PM the place is usually very busy. The main attraction, of course, is the well-stacked main stage, but the dog-leg addition to the left of the entrance is also very popular, offering a small group of dancers who help keep the shareholders of Gillette in dividends as well as others in short black skirts and very tight white shirts whose buttons tend to be very loose. One aspect that seems to have changed in recent times is the inter-action of the dancing damsels with the imbibing public. For more years than I care to remember I used to call the place ‘Unhappy' as so many of the chrome pole molesters seemed to have the attitude their bowel movements possessed a Christian Dior scent. This was a comment I heard from many people and yet I still enjoyed wandering in and inspecting the displaying damsels. Now, I notice (and it may only be because it's currently a very low season) more of the sweet young things are prepared to approach imbibers, even if it is with the stock standard ‘what-you-name-where-you-come-flom-buy-me-dlink' opening lines. A Desire for Clams: A similar situation to Happy exists in its sister den, Peppermint. The place opens at 8:00PM and closes, well, let's just say they have very slow clocks. The bar fine in both Happy and Peppermint is 550 baht for the dancers while the damsels who cavort about in not much more than a lick of lipstick and a pair of shoes require a 600 baht bar fine. The extra probably goes into the clothing fund. Peppermint has a lot going on at the one time, which is part of the reason for its continuing success. Apart from the usual chorus line of stage dancers, there are the busty damsels serving behind the front bar, a small clutch who dances in the flimsiest of clothing opposite the main stage, a number of table dancers and three or four who operate behind a cage. These latter all seem to have taken up shaving. In both Happy and Peppermint the waiting staff is very efficient and friendly, and I've no doubt they do quite well, deservedly, in the tips department. Both places have been at or near the top of the gogo tree for a long time, and I don't see either of them slipping too far down what can be a very quick and slippery pole for a long, long time. Watching the Defectives: Next door to the Coyotee's gogo in Soi Marina Plaza is a little place called the Bondi Burgers Inn. As the name might suggest to some, the place is run by an expat Aussie and offers decent-sized hamburgers (with French fries) at just 100 baht. The place also operates as a boozer with most libations containing alcoholic substances at about 80 baht. Quite a nice place to sit and watch as your favourite damsel of the chrome pole comes sauntering by on her way to her place of employment, or as she clings tighter than a rainforest leech to the latest walking wallet prepared to pay for a night of exchanging bodily fluids. Casting the Net: The second edition of the 52-page glossy magazine Pattaya by Night is now well and truly available on the Internet at either DCO Thailand . Webmaster Danny is steadily recovering from his attempt to imitate a bird by launching himself from a ladder and is back at work. Piece of Pith: ‘Home has nothing to do with hearth, and everything to do with a state of mind;' (Pico Iyer, Video Night in Kathmandu; 1988)

Guys I am going to start a new topic in the members bar to deal with this fast developing situation. Please restrict comments here to long term visas (relevant to expats). Checked Sunbeltasias comments on investment visa. Seems they have the good info but no alternative confirmation as yet.

Here's my take on the situation from a number of sources. I am sure this is correct. If you come from one of the 41 countries that are entitled to a 30 day stay with no visa (these include Great Britain, USA, most of Europe, Australia and NZ) or the 20 countries that get 15 days (these include India, Bahrain and many other developing countries) and you do not have a visa the following applies. ON arrival you will get 30 days (or 15 if from one of the 20 countries). You may extend your stay for 10 days at immigration after paying the 1900 baht fee. After that you MUST leave the country. You may return immediatly and will be granted the same duration of stay. You can continue to do this (visa runs) untill such time as you have 3 visa on arrival stamps in your passport. Once you have 3 visa on arrival stamps you will not be re-admitted until you have spent 90 continuos days outside of Thailand or you have a visa issued to you outside of Thailand. This means the longest stay possible without a visa and doing visa runs is 90 days (for the 41 countries) or 60 days for the 20 countries. How to get around it if you want to stay for more than 90 days. This new rule ONLY applies to those arriving with no visa. If you want to stay for more than 90 days then get a visa in your home country before you leave. The best visa is a Non-Immigrant B or O, multi entry 1 year. Some embassies / consulates will hand these out but most will not. I believe Hull in the UK, Amsterdam in Holland, one of the small consulates in the US (forget which one) and sometimes Penang in Malaysia will give these. You need to check first as this situation is very fluid. If you can't get a Non-Immigrant then the next choice is a 3 entry tourist visa. That will allow you to stay for up to 9 months. Failing that a double entry (6 months) or a single entry (90 days). Note: With the tourist visas regardless of how many entries on it you will get 60 days on arrival, which can be extended at immigration for another 30 days on payment of the 1900 baht fee. You must then leave the country but if you have a 2 or 3 entry you can return immediatly and repeat the process, for as many times as you have entries. Once you have used up all your entries you can either get a new visa at an embassy outside Thailand and start again, or start the process of visa runs with no visa in which case the 3 stamp rule will start to apply from your first entry into Thailand without a visa. Other alternatives. If you are over 50 you can get a 1 year extension to a Non-immigrant visa (which you must get outside of Thailand). You can get additional 1 year extentions inside Thailand as long as you meet the criteria which are basically a medical certificate and 800,000 baht in a Thai bank. If you invest 3 million baht in a Thailand you can get one year extentions to your non Immigrant visa inside Thailand. You must prove that the investment is still valid. Your investment can be a condo BUT immigration will get a valuation of the condo (what you paid is irrelevant). There is an uncorabarated report on Thai Visa that this option will be withdrawn on 1 October. If you already have one though you may continue to renew it. I'm awaiting a confirmation on this from an official source. You can get on-going one year extentions to your Non-Immigrant visa if you are married to a Thai and have 400,000 baht in a thai bank. If you have a job in Thailand and apply for a work permit and get it (numerous criteria) you will be able to stay for various lengths of time depending on more criteria. You really need to do this through a lawyer. ********************************************** The bottom line here is that the no visa, stay forever people are targeted by this new rule. There are numerous choices for those who wish to stay longer than 90 days, but no visa and 30 day trips to the border has been removed as one of those choices. If you want to get one of the other visas mentioned above then be aware that every embassy in every country applies the rules differently. To get what you want you will have to shop around. Post edited for change in investment visa

If you click on "How to add a Review", top right hand corner on the review page, you get this . . .

How to Shake Without a Chrome Pole: I know many of the flesh fanciers of Fun Town gave it a miss, but the Coyote Girls Dance Contest conducted at the Casino Club late-night boogie barn (Soi Diamond) on Sunday night 20 August proved to be a great showcase for some real dancing talent. Held just a week before the first anniversary of the popular dance club, the contest featured a total of 17 contestants divided into eight teams. The Casino Club was represented by three dancers; the Polo chrome pole palace ( Walking Street ) sent two of its best as did The Roof late-night boogie barn and the Coyotee's ogling den ( Soi Marina Plaza ). There were also seven girls who made the trek from Bangkok , a number of whom were being billed as moonlighting students. I think Biology might have been their preferred subject. Given the looks of a couple of the Bangkok girls I can well understand why Teaching English as a Foreign Language schools are doing so well. Pretty much all bar a few of the contestants looked as though they may have been aerobics instructors in a past incarnation. The management of Casino Club allocated a substantial 22,000 baht in prize money to the contest, so it was no surprise the action was fast and furious, especially after the first round and the contestants numbers were reduced to just 10 hopefuls. Not a stray glimpse of the wrong sort of female skin was witnessed throughout the entire contest, so much so that it probably could have come with a stamp of approval from the likes of former Interior Minister Purely Puritanical (remember him?). Despite this, the place was standing room only for the last part of the contest with the judges barely able to separate the top four contestants. The word ‘gyration' might have been coined for this quad. In the end it was a Casino Club dancer who snared the 5,000 baht first prize money and also collected another 5,000 baht for winning the Most Popular vote. A Bangkok dancer also walked away with a double: 3,000 baht for second place and 3,000 baht for the best costume. A Casino girl and one of The Roof dancers shared 2,000 baht each for third place while another Bangkok contestant and one of the Polo gyrators picked up 1,000 baht each for making the final six. The Casino Club is a great place to spend a late night: the dance music is excellent, it has a welcoming ambience, and the drinks are fairly priced. A week after the dance contest I wandered in at some ungodly hour (about five minutes before cock-crow) and the joint was absolutely humming. Don't these people have homes to go to? Bums Away Dream Babies: The fleshaholics of Fun Town should have been well pleased with the second Coyotee's ogling den ( Soi Marina Plaza ) Best Ass in Pattaya Contest, held on Sunday night 27 August. A brace of 24 dancers took part, with four girls coming from the What's Up cleanest-dancers-in-Pattaya den (Soi 15, off Walking Street), as well as two each from the Diamond ogling den (Soi Diamond), Tahitian Queen 2 chrome pole palace (Soi BJ, off Walking Street) and The Roof late-night shake your best assets house (Walking Street). Seven judges were given the dubious honour of trying to determine which dancing damsel possessed a backside worthy of annexing the 8,000 baht first prize money. Included among them were the London Clock, the genial mine host of the very soon to open new Secrets house of fun (see below); Perry, whose frozen Margarita mix, filled with natural ingredients, and sold to a number of dens around town, gives dancers that ‘I go with you sexy man' glow; and Roundy, one of the co-owners of the popular Roo beer boozer and noshery on Walking Street. The contest was ultimately won by Khun May from Coyotee's, with Khun Kwan from The Roof snatching second position (and 5,000 baht) and Khun Ow from Diamond taking third place (and 3,000 baht). Ow had won the first contest, under a different regime of judges. All told, the management of Coyotee's handed out a substantial 32,800 baht in prize money, as all 24 entrants received 700 baht each as well as any prize money they may have picked up. An Open Secret: After much hammering, nailing, plastering, painting, and more gnashing of teeth and pulling of hair than a cat-fight in a Wild West whorehouse, the Secrets lounge-lizard libation room will be officially opening its doors to the paying public on Friday night 1 September. Located in Soi 14 -off Walking Street- the place will almost certainly become a popular hangout for ex-pats and regular Fun Town visitors. Hate to See Their Water Bill: There are a few Thai-run places in Fun Town where the operators have ‘come up through the ranks' as it were and are willing to try and be experimental and innovative. One of these is the What's Up ogling den (Soi 15, off Walking Street ). After undergoing a much-needed but thoughtful renovation and re-fit, the den unveiled its new look and format in late July. Taking a leaf out of the Coyotee's and Heaven Above internal decorative style (aka: the hospital look), and the Club Boesche aqua follies, What's Up is once more back among the raft of dens worth visiting. The first thing you notice is how much brighter the den is now which is perfect for making sure you don't get stuck with a damsel who looks like Venus under the UV light and turns into Dracula's sister the moment you pay the bar fine and walk out the door into the bright moonlight. Anyone keen to inspect the entire package (and most of its contents), the birthday-suited damsels employed to test the enamel of the Jacuzzi as well as those just hanging by a metal strap or two nearby are the ones to sit close to, although the former tend to be lathered up in soap suds for much of the time. The only negative are the white bar stools that are among the most uncomfortable pieces of furniture I've ever tried to park my tender backside upon. You have to be at least 2.3 metres or taller before you'd stand a chance of finding these stools remotely comfortable. The other minus is the usual practice of jacking up drinks prices. According to one person, What's Up had draught amber at 45 baht for one week, then it went to 55 baht and then it disappeared and a bottle of the froth was wheeled out at 110 baht. Not very sensible when you've only just managed to start drawing crowds back into the place and the depths of low season still awaits. On the Trail of the Pissheads: The long-running FLB lounge lizard libation room ( Walking Street ), in conjunction with ‘Hammer', mine host of the Cherry beer boozer (Soi 8), have been running a novel and increasingly popular weekly pub crawl. Members of the www.pattayatalk.com website meet at FLB around 7:30PM on a Thursday for a few drinks (and are treated to free pizza) while they vote on what part of Fun Town is going to be the recipient of their alcoholic largesse for the evening. If you want to see where they've been so far, or where they went the week before, all you need do is log onto the website and check it out. Anyone is welcome to join in and as Marvellous Martin, the owner of FLB noted, ‘it gets everyone out of their standard orbit and into new places.' Come to Paradise: Talking of new places, a place calling itself the Paradise ogling den has just opened its doors at the south Pattaya end of Soi Buakhow. When I wandered past I think the foreign owners had only just put the finishing touches to the place and were just getting prepared to open for real. By the time you read this it should be up and running. Get Well Soon: Big Yankee Bob, the man known for his giant burgers and bigger-n-Texas steaks served at his noshery on South Pattaya Road, and also a cheerful meeter and greeter at the Tahitian Queen 2 ogling den (Soi BJ), suffered a mild stroke on Sunday morning 27 August. I'm told he is in a satisfactory condition; needless to say, all his friends around town wish him a speedy and full recovery.

RTFF - Read the ..... Faq FAQ - Why do I have a warning

Check boxes fixed. I don't see this. For me they go blue. Anyone else have this problem? (Martin may have fixed it while I wasn't looking). The flags are back but you have to edit your profile to initiate them. Details here Please add your flag.

I don't have to click your spammy link and I won't be seeing you anymore either coz you are banned.

Just Where Exactly? On Saturday night 19 August a new beer boozer called The Blue Monkey will be opening its doors. I was handed a little leaflet announcing this fact, but sadly the operators (Aron and Steve) forgot to note down the location of their new establishment. Luckily, the person who gave me the leaflet was able to tell me the Blue Monkey is in Soi Skaw Beach , off Second Road , just before the Made in Thailand complex. Ten Years After: Although the fleshpots of Bangkok were closed on Saturday night 12 August and a long weekend was in place, Fun Town didn't seem to gain a lot of benefit from walking wallets decamping from the Big Chilli. Many of the dens of the chrome pole reported a drop in trade on at least one of the two normally busy nights, although the Heaven Above ogling den (Soi Diamond) was packed to the gunwales to celebrate its second anniversary on Friday night 11 August. Hard to believe it's been two years already since the place opened. On the same weekend, Walking Street celebrated its 10th anniversary by turning the street into an obstacle course, making perambulation a difficult exercise. As usual with these sort of celebrations the local authorities and various businesses were allowed to set up stages and food stalls and tables and chairs on the street. Apparently, near the Lucifers Disko the impediments to foot traffic were so numerous many people gave up the idea of going any further. What's Happening Around Town: Tony's new late-night venture, the Europa Club is due to hold its opening night on Thursday 17 August. Reputed to have cost around 300 million baht to construct it is located along Soi 16, at the end of the Covent Garden Complex of boozers. One wonders if the new place will draw crowds away from his flagship Tony's Entertainment joint on Walking Street proper. Does Fun Town have enough people to support another flashy up-market late-night joint? Considering the unqualified success of Lucifers Disko as well as the new Hammer live band and head-bangers joint and the recent opening of places such as Roxy (the former Club Electric Blue) and Byblos (Soi Diamond; officially opened on 3 August), perhaps the answer is a resounding ‘yes'. The Casino Club late-night gyration barn (Soi Diamond) will be holding its Dance Contest on Sunday night 20 August, starting around 10:00PM and featuring local lasses pitted against a few imports from the Big Chilli. Then, a week later, the Coyotee's ogling den ( Soi Marina Plaza ) will be running its second Best Ass in Pattaya Dance Contest. Early reports are that most of the judges from the first competition have handed over substantial bribes to be allowed to make pencil marks on sweaty pieces of paper (otherwise known as score sheets), but at least one new face will be ‘on the bench' as it were: the well-known Roundy from the popular and long-running Roo boozer (corner of Soi Happy, Walking Street). [b}Innovation and Experimentation:[/b] The management of the Club Boesche ogling den (Covent Garden Complex, Soi 16) recently installed a large plasma TV screen in the upstairs section so that imbibers could watch the water antics of the birthday-suited damsels frolicking about in the downstairs Jacuzzi. I'm told there are serious plans afoot to further expand the den with a series of showpiece areas, including a VIP room. Building work is set to commence very soon with the aim of being open by the next high season. If the plans I was shown are anything to go by, then this will take the concept of an ogling den to stratospheric heights. Down around The Market ( Second Road , just past Soi 6) plans are well under way to construct a series of chrome pole palaces, beer boozers, nosheries and the like with the aim of creating an almost self-contained entertainment and munching area. The aim is to have these places up and running come the next high season. Ain't What it Used to Be: When I first came to the shores of Thailand -and the little ‘foreign' enclave called Pattaya in particular- the people who brought me here lamented, “It isn't as good as it used to be.” That was 13 years ago. A man from northern England made a similar comment to me the other day as we rode the elevator in the condo where we live. It's true; and false at the same time. Pattaya is twice the size it was a decade or more ago, it has twice the number of bars and, specifically, about three times the number of chrome pole dens. Are the girls who work the bars better or worse than in years gone by? For probably most people who have spent any length of time in Fun Town , the answer may well be, “worse”. I agree; and disagree. Those who've been here long enough to know better, should realise this place really is ‘fantasyland'. After all, the majority of dancers in the dens have Thai boyfriends; they did 10 years ago, and they will in 10 years time. Many also have one or more foreign walking wallets on the string. They did 10 years ago, and they will in 10 years time. In response to my item (16-31 July edition) naming the dens I consider to be the best in Fun Town at present, I received a well-considered e-mail from my reader who took issue with my ratings. I readily accept my rankings, as I wrote at the time, are my opinion only and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. My reader agreed with my top rankings for New Living Dolls 1, Peppermint, Super Baby, and Super Girl and considers Catz the best in town at present. ‘The girls are pretty and, most importantly, have a good attitude. I had just about given up on a-go-go-s, but had such a good experience at Catz I definitely will return.' What I found interesting, if very debatable, were his comments regarding showgirls. ‘The shows became popular. The…showgirls…became “Stars in their own lunch time.” They demanded that they not have to dance “a-go-go” and some idiot bar owner said, OK. Then they demanded they not have to go with customers if they don't want to and some idiot bar owner said, OK. Scratch the availability of many of the really attractive dancers. In bars where there are lesbian shows some of the girls are, or become, hardcore lesbians and refuse to go with customers…It is my personal opinion that having hardcore lesbians in a bar is like the old rotten apple in the barrel…They, the lesbian corps, have a negative influence on the other girls in the bar…' While I agree in part with my reader, I have to say anyone looking for anything more than a commercial transaction with most of the damsels of the chrome pole is asking for trouble. The dancing girls can spot a fresh-faced unused load of testosterone and a full wallet just waiting to be emptied faster than an Italian pickpocket on the Spanish Steps. The potential victim only has to cough up for a lady drink and the scene starts to resemble vultures around carrion. The game is all about money; not love, not affection, not a white picket fence and two and a half children and a mortgage. If you want that then you've come through the wrong door. I happen to agree wholeheartedly with giving the working damsels the choice as to whether they will, or won't, go with a customer. Relative freedom of choice happens to be one of the reasons why the bar scene in Pattaya is defensible. The girls work here because they choose to do so; it's better paid than working as a cashier at Carrefour. And if they choose someone else over you, get over it and find another girl who will choose you. There are, literally, thousands to choose from, so why waste your time with a girl who's not interested? Once More into the Breach: The second edition of the magazine Pattaya by Night is now on the streets and in the bars. The first edition, I'm happy to say, was a sell-out and this version looks even better than the original. The cover was designed by English graphic artist Matt Wright and the magazine features exclusive photos of some the best looking (and average looking) chrome pole molesters from (in alphabetical order) AngelWitch (Soi 15), the now defunct Babewatch, Casino Club (Soi Diamond), Catz (Covent Garden Complex, Soi 16), Club Boesche (Covent Garden Complex, Soi 16), Coyotee's (Soi Marina Plaza), Diamond (Soi Diamond), Dollhouse (Walking Street), Heaven Above (Soi Diamond), Living Dolls Showcase (Walking Street), New Living Dolls 1 (Walking Street), Super Baby (Soi Diamond), Super Girl (Soi Diamond), TQ2 and Windmill (Soi Diamond). The magazine is 52 pages and retails at 150 baht. It's available from most of the participating dens mentioned above as well as DK Books (Soi Post Office), TK Books (Soi Post Office), DK Bookmart (Central Pattaya Road, near Beach Road), Pattaya Beach Books (upstairs in Tops, Central Pattaya Road), Globetrotter noshery and bar (between Soi 7 and Central Pattaya Road), Tops (Central Pattaya Road), Jeremy's Bookshop (Soi Chaiyapoom), Foodmart (Jomtien), Lukdod (north Pattaya), and in Bangkok Book House (Sukhumvit Soi 4) and Nana Hotel Bookshop (Sukhumvit Soi 4, opposite Nana Plaza). There are at least another 30 outlets around Fun Town as well as the bookshop in U-Tapao airport. It should soon be available via the Internet from www.pattaya-night.com or www.dcothai.com Unfortunately, Danny Speight, the webmaster for these sites, took an unintended leap from an unsteady ladder on the day the magazine was released and finished up occupying a bed in the Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital. He made a right mess of himself, with a broken arm the least of his injuries, and will probably be out of action for a little time yet. Some people will do anything to avoid work. Piece of Pith: I won't mention any names here because it involves a couple of dens of the chrome pole, but Lanky Bob from the Catz ogling den (not one of those involved I hasten to add) related the following quote to me, uttered by a Thai woman who has been in the bar scene for more years than she'd probably like to admit to. “Things are changing in Thailand ,” she said to Bob. “Thais used to steal from farangs; now farangs are stealing from Thais!”

I have used the repair shop on the corner of Third Rd and Soi 17 several times. Have found them to be good. Proceed down Soi 17 heading away from the beach. When you come to Third Rd turn left. Shop is on the left.