VPI78

Paddy went to his local supermarket after a lunchtime session to do some shopping. With his list, he went to reach for the largest cucumber in the shop when this tall sexy looking blonde also went to grab it. “Oh yeah, I bet I know now why you be wanting the biggest one,” he winked. “You’ve got me” she giggled, “Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching?” “No thanks,” said Paddy, “I’ve got better things to do with me time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches.”

As long as EE width should be ok

Can you loan out your shoes

Rod has certainly led a charmed life. I reckon genetics has 90% to do with longevity, healthy habits 5% ... and dumb luck 5%.

Yep, since May this year. Doesn't seem to add much time, if any, to the process.

Declan, Mick and Seamus entered their local pub’s weekly raffle and to their surprise, they each won a prize: Declan a bottle of whisky, Mick a large turkey and Seamus a toilet brush. The next week, they met again in the pub and talked about their prizes. Declan extolled the pleasures of his smooth Irish whisky, while Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious he had ever tasted Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush. ‘It wasn’t that great,’ he said. ‘I think I’ll go back to using paper.’

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. “What are dose? asks the attendant. “They’re called tees” replies Tiger. “Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger. “Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “BMW thinks of everything