BigusDicus

*Super Bowl 2017 A buddy of mine has won two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl Game in Houston. He has a luxury suite reserved at the stadium, plus airline tickets valid from any US airport, a hotel suite, and tickets to attend two pre-game parties. However, he somehow failed to realize that the game is scheduled for the same day as his wedding. So he can't go. If you're interested, and if youd like to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5:00 pm. Her name is Louise. She's 5'4", about 125 lbs., a good cook and makes $180,000 a year as a stockbroker. She will be the one in the white dress.*

Coffee in the Morning!

Okay MM. We are going to let it go this time. Bigus Chief Inspector Department of Unauthorized Time Travel

"FYI, I went to Five Guys in July of this year for the first time." ???? July has not happened yet if I am not mistaken.

I checked the fares out a couple days ago when this first hit. The LAX fares involve very long travel times primarily with stopovers in Qtar or wherever they are based. Might work better for east coast people.

Oops, I will be more careful next time!

Is China Eastern any good?

Went out last week to a Halloween Party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A lifelong question was answered. It was the chicken. --

This will no doubt put Coca Cola out of business in the near future…! The Pfizer Corporation announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and this new product will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old-fashioned stiff drink. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day...There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2025, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

If one uses a condom?

Very good. I am stealing it!

Who to vote for.....?

Early lead.....

If you have not paid attention the the US election cycle the last 18 months it might be difficult to appreciate this somewhat sarcastic piece... Trump the Opera In place of a routine political endorsement, we give Trump the ultimate tribute—his own opera. By DANIEL HENNINGER Updated Nov. 2, 2016 10:37 p.m. ET 413 COMMENTS Political endorsements are a dime a dozen. Instead, we will give Donald J. Trump the grandest tribute to his unique presidential campaign—the world premiere of “Trump the Opera.” Cast Trump: Donald Trump Crooked Hillary: Hillary Clinton Lyin’ Ted: Ted Cruz Little Marco: Marco Rubio Low Energy Jeb: Jeb Bush The Director: James Comey Huma the Maidservant: Huma Abedin Carlos Danger: Anthony Weiner The Trump Clan: Ivanka, Melania, Donald Jr., Eric The Clinton Cronies: John Podesta, Cheryl Mills, Terry McAuliffe Spear Carriers: Chris Christie, Rudy Giuliani, Billy Bush, Corey Lewandowski, Miss Universe 1996 The Mainstream Media Chorus My Husband: Bill Clinton (Mr. Clinton’s performance is made possible by a special gift from the Opera Society of Kazakhstan.) Act One Scene 1: A dining room at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida. Trump, the scion of an American real-estate family, is eating dinner, seated at one end of a 60-foot-long table. At the other end is his wife, Melania. Along the sides of the table are the Trump Family—his daughter Ivanka and two older sons, Donald Jr. and Eric. Trump puts down his Big Mac and says, “I am going to be president.” Ivanka says: “Of what?” Trump, reddening, shouts: “What else? Of the United States!” Melania faints, falling to the floor. As Donald Jr. rushes to revive Melania, a short, wiry man enters the dining room. Eric says to his father: “Who is this guy?” Trump tells the family his name is Corey Lewandowski. Trump says he found Lewandowski in New Hampshire and that he will run Trump’s presidential campaign. Revived, Melania implores her husband: “Why have you done this to me?” Trump replies: “I want to build a wall.” Trump and Lewandowski sing the moving construction duet: “A beautiful wall (Un bel muro).” Scene 2: A Republican primary debate. Trump stands behind a podium on a stage. On either side of him, extending to the edges of the stage, are 15 men and a woman who all say they are running for the Republican presidential nomination. The debate begins and Trump announces that he will not address anyone by their real name. Instead, he refers to them as Lyin’ Ted, Little Marco and Low Energy Jeb. The men have heard rumors of Trump’s wrathful followers, the Trumpians, and accept Trump’s insults. Lyin’ Ted attempts to placate Trump, addressing him as “my good friend, Donald.” Trump hears this as an insult and replies that Lyin’ Ted’s father might have had something to do with the Kennedy assassination. Lyin’ Ted pulls a knife from his belt. Carly Fiorina holds on to Lyin’ Ted’s wrist and in a terrifying aria warns Trump to “beware the revenge of women (la vendetta delle donne).” Gripping the sides of his lectern, Trump vows he will never again look upon the face of Fiorina. Act Two Scene: An interrogation room at the FBI. It is late Saturday afternoon. Light from the setting sun illuminates the faces of Democratic presidential candidate Crooked Hillary, the Director James Comey, and Crooked Hillary’s lawyer and confidante, Cheryl Mills. Comey asks Crooked Hillary if it is true that while she was Secretary of State, she maintained a personal email server. Crooked Hillary replies with one of the most extended arias in the history of opera: “I do not recall (Non ricordo).” Comey asks if she used the server to discuss her daughter’s wedding. Crooked Hillary replies: “Non ricordo.” The Director asks if she has ever heard of the Clinton Foundation. Crooked Hillary rises from the table and shrieks, in a piercing F above high C: “Non ricordo! Non ricordo!” Mills, the confidante, leans forward and asks Comey in a low, ominous whisper if the FBI is recording their conversation. The Director says she has insulted him, smashes Mills’ laptop against the wall and orders them to leave the building. Act Three Scene One: An outdoor stage in Palm Beach, Florida. Trump, beset by the vast forces of Crooked Hillary and various female accusers, has retreated to his kingdom in southern Florida. Standing before a huge throng, Trump defends himself by singing the Duke of Mantua’s aria from Verdi’s “Rigoletto”: “Questa o quella (This woman or that woman).” Trump suddenly cries out that Crooked Hillary “should be locked up!” The Trumpian chorus thunders: “Lock her up! Lock her up! (Rinchiudetela!)” Scene Two: The basement of Crooked Hillary’s castle in Chappaqua. It is the night before the election. Crooked Hillary, Huma the Maidservant, Carlos Danger and James Comey sit at a table on top of which is a silver chalice and small ceramic pitcher. Behind them is a mammoth pile of destroyed electronics—laptops, PCs, BlackBerrys, servers. The Director places a document on the table and the three sign it. Carlos Danger pours white liquid from the pitcher into the chalice and all drink from it, including Comey. As the others seem to fall asleep, Crooked Hillary rises to sing her last aria: “I spent my entire life helping everyone (Tutta la mia vita).” Final Act Scene: A golden apartment in Trump Tower on Fifth Ave. It is 4 a.m. on election morning. Trump is at his desk, tweeting curses and maledictions at his enemies. Trump’s consigliere, Rudolph Giuliani, enters the room and tells Trump he is still a genius. Trump tweets more curses. The Trump Family enters with Chris Christie, now returned from exile in New Jersey. All walk out onto a balcony above Fifth Avenue, led by Trump. A crowd has filled the street below. Trump suddenly climbs onto a chair and raises his arms, as if about to jump into the crowd. Instead, Trump raises his right hand, forms his thumb and fingers into a delicate zero and sings the final aria in the 72-hour-long opera: “Believe me (Credetemi). It will be so beautiful. It’s going to be very, very beautiful. Believe me.” Opera ends. Trump begins three days of curtain calls. Write henninger@wsj.com.

It certainly looks good! Thank you.

Why Bill Clinton Likes Younger Women (me too)

I would still be alive if

Appreciate the followup Zeus.

Taking Fake Book Covers on the Subway

I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

My wife and I just finished the BBC series on Netflix. Found it entertaining, my wife loved it and is diving into Cornwell's books. Knowing my wife she will finish by the weekend!

Cannot help but think of the FLB for some reason....

Great joke. I am stealing it!

Where's Kenneth Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. "Kenneth," he says. "And what is your question, Kenneth?" she asks. "I have three questions," he says. "First -- whatever happened in Benghazi? "Second -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts? "And, third -- whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State? Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question? A different boy -- little Johnny -- puts his hand up. Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is. "Johnny," he says. "And what is your question, Johnny?" she asks. "I have five questions," he says. "First -- whatever happened in Benghazi? "Second -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts? "Third -- whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State? "Fourth -- why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? "And, fifth -- where's Kenneth?"