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BigusDicus

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Everything posted by BigusDicus

  1. Solid proof that our planet has warmed in the past 300 years
  2. Today's riddle for seniors... Here is the situation: You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop-off. On your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo. What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?.. . . Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round and go home!
  3. Foxhole Decision Time Well the bill that allows gays to serve openly in the Military has passed and was signed into law. No more don't ask don't tell. But what this really has done is cause confusion in the ranks that could easily cost Marine lives. You know that Marines are trained to immediately obey orders. So just imagine...................... You're a Marine...... in a combat situation, an enemy soldier is firing at you, and running toward your position. The guy next to you is openly gay. Then your Squad Leader yells out.......... "Shoot the cocks
  4. When you are over sixty who gives a shit? This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?" I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out." *********** I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you." *********** I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Rea
  5. Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.' Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go bac
  6. I am just about ready to sell my elite membership if you are interested. I must warn you, I shan't let it go cheap!
  7. A mantra of the anti-religion left. Repeated over and over the last few decades. Repeated so often that many believe. Despite the facts. Religion did not inspire Stalin to slaughter more than 30 million of his own people. Nor Hitler, Chairman Mao, Pol Pot, etc.. I challenge you Atlas to show us acts inspired by religion that equal or surpass the above.
  8. Nature in all her beauty and splendor can be a remarkably cruel place. In the animal kingdom (and reptile, bugs, etc.) the strong feed on the week, the big on the small, if hungry enough many will feed upon there own kind, dominant males kill their offspring, etc., etc.. Some believe that is God who instilled "good", a sense of right and wrong in mankind. Common sense? I talked previously of the "Slippery Slope". If there are no absolute guideposts it is too easy for man/society to begin to rationalize minors exceptions to "common sense". an then at some point another exception
  9. There is of course some argument as to whether Hitler actually believed in God or just pretended to keep Eva Braun off his back. Many believed he was an atheist. Regardless, most mass murders and genocides of significance have been perpetrated by Atheists. I grew up hearing and accepting the left's proclamations that religion was responsible for most of the slaughter of the world's innocents. And I have since learned that it simply is not true. " few millions to the many 'Holy Wars' of history". I do not believe there have been millions killed in Holy Wars. Certainly there has bee
  10. Tomcat makes an excellent point. Yes religion and those involved can and sometimes have caused harm. But this 'harm' is minuscule in comparison to the good done done by religion for mankind. One can find fault in this very board but the fault is far outweighed by the education and enjoyment provided to its members. I have always respected, enjoyed Christopher Hitchens and his sarcastic, anti-establishment style. While sharing many of his views I disagree with him in regard to the existence of God. I have appreciated that he always articulated his views without the anger, venom, and ha
  11. Scottish Wedding At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled..."Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death. SEX Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband. Lance Armstrong I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he's achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, whilst he was on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frig’n bike Drive By A
  12. A man and woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware her dining companion had disappeared. The waitress went over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I th
  13. A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, " it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife.. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Well, did you help him?", asked his wife. I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloody pouring rain out there!" "Well, you have a
  14. http://dotsub.com/view/6c5d7514-5656-476a-9504-07dd4e2f6509
  15. Cannot say for sure. I will bet it is not Kosher......
  16. WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS? A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of vodka was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."
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