BigusDicus

Butch, I am looking for my violin. As soon as I find it a few sympathetic notes coming your way!

The cannibal's grandma...

A2, I stole your punctuate and added it too my coffee mug I have posted elsewhere. Just received below: My kids gave me a coffee mug that says “Let’s eat Grandma” - for Mothers Day. Punctuation is important.

Remember that movie 30 plus years ago, Coma?

It is good to see you back BigD !!!

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Weird, does not show on my Netflix?

Turns out this is an ATT Direct TV "exclusive" production. I cannot find anywhere within my cable system to view it. Any one is the USA know how to view it?

I did a double hernia about 10-12 years ago. I believe it was Laparoscopy, added the mesh on both sides. Also took care of a small tear I had next to my naval since birth allowing a small but at times irritating hernia. I did it 8 days before a planned trip to Thailand. Did not want to but had just returned from a Costa Rica adventure and was a painful mess. Had no choice but to proceed with the procedure. Everything went well. The day before scheduled trip to Thailand decided to give it a try. Ultimately a mistake. Utter agony flying over, no empty seats. Coming back lucked out and had a center row to myself. Was able to lie flat. Getting around Pattaya was difficult. Walking any distance hard. Not easy to hop on a baht bus. Within 2-3 days I hooked up with some young babe from the Carousel off Walking Street. Very cute, smoked okay...Spoke very little English. She took care of me for a few days. She realized I had gone through surgery. She was fascinated by the series of 1" incisions/scars around my pelvic area and naval. I kept trying to explain the concept of Laparoscopy surgery - small incision, hollow tubes inserted and surgical instruments inserted through the tubes, etc.. Her limited English kept her from understanding the concept. At one point in frustration pointing at the incision I said something like "Tube you know, like a snake". Eyes opened wide, hand over mouth she recoiled away from me to the other side of the bed. "Snake?" she said. I kept trying to explain "Not snake" making serpentine movement on the mattress with my hand. She slept on the other side of the bed that night! The next afternoon she returned with a cute little friend. Friend spoke decent English and began to explain that Mai's (cannot remember her real name) mother is sick and Mai must go home to care for her. We talked for a while, I eventually explained my surgery. She suddenly burst out laughing. Laughed so hard she wet her pants and my bed. Apparently Mai thought I had hundreds of small snakes in my stomach and bowels and the doctors had just begun to cut them out of me. Suddenly mama was well and not in need of Mai's care. And for two nights I enjoyed the care of a second nurse in addition to Mai. But it was tough. I cut a planned 3 week trip down to 10 days or so. Mai continued to work at the Carousal for 2-3 years. Whenever I would go in she would smile from the stage and make a serpentine wave towards the ceiling and laugh. It realistically was 5-6 weeks before I was back in good shape. I was 50 ish at the time. In very good shape, tight workout regimen, etc. I had to be careful with lifting for a while. I would think you would be fine by spring MLC. Just do not go lifting a bunch of heavy things. Do not be cheap, hire a moving company. Old dogs like us should not be doing heavy lifting. If you screw up your back, that can be with you rest of your life.

I must admit so did I. Damnit!

who takes it in the ass!

Thank you. This looks good. I was not aware of it. The movie Three Days of the Condor, Robert Redford, Faye Dunaway was very good. I believe directed by Sidney Pollack. Good book too!

https://www.wsj.com/ Turkey Crisis Rattles Currency Markets, Pushes Dollar Higher The Turkish lira tumbled, a shock that set off sharp falls in other emerging-market currencies, hit the euro and European banks, and pushed the dollar to a one-year high.

Yes, I would spank her!

Better Call Saul is very, very good. Like Breaking bad it takes a season or two to really kick in. Awesome!

Hum, 2 for 1? I thought if you buy one you get the second free? Menu says buy 2, get 1 free.

I recently had to choose a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am seventy plus). A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 90?' She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?' 'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!' Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?' I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!' 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?' 'No, I don't,' I said. She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?' 'No,' I said. She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a shit ?'

Would be nice to see it hit 40 again!

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I am thinking I could use one too.

Funny!

https://brevity.wordpress.com/2018/06/13/classic-jokes-for-writers/ By Julie Vick Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting bird. Interrupting bird wh– Tweet. You really must read this Tweet. ** What do you get when you cross a writer with a deadline? A really clean house. ** What did the writer who was told they have no platform do? Buy much, much higher shoes. ** Knock, knock. Who’s there? Writers go. Writers go who? No, writers go, “Why did this seem like such a brilliant idea last night?” ** Where would a writer never want to live? A writer’s block. ** A writer walks into a bar. The bartenders says, “Have you written 1000 words today? You told me to not sell you a drink until you hit your word count goal for the day.” A writer walks out of a bar. ** What is black and white and red all over? A writer’s latest draft that ended up in the trash with some V8 juice. ** Why did the writer cross the road? She was supposed to be revising an essay, so she crossed the road to run some errands, and go for a quick walk, and maybe buy a new toaster. ** Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you supposed to be finishing your current draft instead of reading jokes for writers? ___ Julie Vick’s writing has appeared in New Yorker’s Daily Shouts, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and The Rumpus. She teaches writing at the University of Colorado Denver.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/07/03/fish-pedicure-causes-woman-to-lose-her-toenails-report-says.html Fish pedicure causes woman to lose her toenails, report says By Lucia I. Suarez Sang | Fox News Facebook Twitter Flipboard Comments Print Email A woman reportedly lost her toenails after getting a fish pedicure. (istock) A woman in her 20s reportedly lost all of her toenails after allegedly getting a so-called “fish pedicure,” a treatment touted by many as rejuvenating for a person’s feet. Fish pedicures involve having small fish nibble on a person’s feet while they soak in a tub of warm or room temperature water. The toothless carp fish – which are plant eaters – voraciously feast on dead human skin. After having the fish pedicure, the woman said her toenails stopped growing and then started falling off. At first the woman thought she might have onychomadesis, a condition known for having similar symptoms; however, a visit to a dermatologist, ruled that out, Gizmodo reported. “While the mechanism of action is not entirely clear, it is likely due to the fish traumatizing the nail matrix,” Sheri Lipner, an assistant professor of dermatology at Columbia University’s Weill Cornell Medicine and the woman’s doctor, told the website. She said the case could be the first documented instance of onychomadesis ever caused by fish. “I do not recommend fish pedicures for any medical or aesthetic purpose,” Lipner said. “In addition to onychomadesis, there are also serious infections associated with fish pedicures.” Lipner would not reveal where the woman got the pedicure, but noted the treatment has been banned in at least 10 states, largely due to health concerns. The woman’s toenails will likely return, but it will take a long time as nails only grow about one millimeter a month on average, Lipner said. Lucia I. Suarez Sang is a Reporter for FoxNews.com. Follow her on Twitter @luciasuarezsang

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