atlas2

Flashman. The funniest……most un-PC tour through the backstairs of history. Placing the bully and coward from 'Tom Brown's Schooldays' at Balaclava……Rork's Drift…….and even the 'Little Big Horn'. The first volume is the Afghan Wars. The author wrote it in 90 hours. Read all the footnotes and follow literature's greatest anti-hero as he lies, cheats and shags his way to a medal from the queen and the thanks of parliament.

A quiet night having been up til 4 watching England Vs San Marino the night before…. So I was tucked up with a glass of wine and a couple of new films from my android……'.Prince' was good…….Homesman I gave up on……and so watched a Downton Abbey…..Love that Box It pissed down in the night so much it woke me.Glad I was home. Coming back from the dark side yesterday I could see the lake still needs a lot more to fill it up…..and also I noticed some pot-holes that would have been hidden in the rain…….That would have my exhaust off. Careful if you're out on a bike lads.

I saw a bloke near the Olympic stadium carrying a long pole……..I said "Are you a pole-vaulter?" He said, "Nine I am Jerman……But how do you know my name?"

Should have used 'polish remover'

Before I catch-up on your other posts…….I've just had a listen to some of Jimmy Nail's stuff……..Crocodile shoes and Cowboy dreams are nice……But this one was new to me and I found it moving. I'm double impressed…….It sounds like Knopfler but Nail wrote this.

I was looking foe another good baseline and thought of 'Hit me with your rhythm stick' but while searching came across this oldie….Not a particularly spectacular base but a good song you don't hear much these days. And a message for us all…….

I've forgotten now…... She's great and looks like she's enjoying herself……..not just showing off. But I like the other jessies better than that little squirt with a big hat….(sorry I just gave hate a chance) Good song though………I wonder what it would sound like on a Uke?

Thanks for the information. I love curry but I limit myself to 1 every 3 weeks or so……..And to times after I've had a shag. I might give this place a try tomorrow. I'm always super polite in Indian restaurants as sometimes my countrymen take advantage. But here's another try at the old joke: The answer was:………."Infatuation bastard" What was the question? See Below…….. "How would you like your popadom cooked sir?"

"All hands to the pump!"

I went right off Michelson attacking Watson so publicly. Just as I always support Mahan against any neutral after his tears of disappointment last time……..I'm afraid Phil will have to suffer the the fist of atlas being shaken at the screen as I shout 'Ope you bloody miss!'

Like that Teelack……. And remember: 'The only difference between a 'rut' and a 'grave' is the depth'

I thought that was the only Superhero joke I knew…….. Then I remembered this one.. There is a big room with four corners. In the first corner, you find Superman. In the second corner you find Batman. In the third corner you find Spiderman. And in the fourth corner you find an extremely intelligent, 100% natural blonde woman with an amazing ultra-thin magazine-model figure. In the center of the room there is a pot of gold. Q:Who gets to the pot of gold first? A: None, because none of these characters exist.

Brusque…. Terse…….peremptory waterpark and not sure……...

Rain seems o be concentrated around the go-kart track near Bali Hi. Every time my son goes it pours. Lake Makrophan…sp also looked very denuded last time I was over there. I agree it's been much drier this year. These things average out….eventually.

I've learned recently but not tried yet……..That for 1000 baht paid in at a 7/11, I can get a code number that I put into one of my stations that will give me 200 days VIP membership allowing perfect viewing of stations currently showing Premier League. That's getting on for a whole season. When I've done this I'll let you know how it goes. I'm told it's all sports Martin, so it may include that game of 'football' played mostly with the hands….

We'd go as kids on our own and race round the place. Most popular of course was the spitfire……..But the two exhibits I always took newcomers to were the German gun with mirrored sights and a curved barrel that shot round corners……..And the submariner's toilet. This was a complicated contraption for flushing your shit out under pressure. Failure to operate all the leavers correctly was known as 'Getting your own back'

I've been letting my nagging worries over a Scottish breakaway and my concerns over the success of multiculturalism at the expense of the indigenous population of Britain…….The rise of ISIS……..Ebola……..and Man U losing last night…... take the shine off of my life here. As I said somewhere else………'Whatever I worry about…. or do……In 5 years time…….. 5 years will have passed' Time to remember my own advice and concentrate on the good life again…….And resurrect 'Reasons to be cheerful' Here's one of my favorite early morning sights in Pattaya…….The girls in last night's sexy skirts, sitting sidesaddle on the back of a motor cycle taxi, their long…. brown... toned legs with the stilettos hanging insouciantly from their toes. Wonderful! What's yours??

I went back today to STAR LIGHT………..Cut out the mash……even better. Wish they'd get some decent wine though instead of 'Mont Clair' fruit juice. Now back home watching Thailand ladies play India in the Asian games with a Wolfblass chardonnay……It's 8.0 at half-time. Really good fun!

If you're a student of music and are fascinated by the creative process of songwriters you might find this riveting……..

On the box I got there's an icon to click that does just that. Once you've clicked the icon you turn-on two functions and hey presto!

555….. I have two stories along those lines from years back……..But modesty forbids. ……..And in the end I just felt so used.

I went along last night at about 1 am……… No trouble finding the place…..The noise and buzz of excitement led me through the market…... where most other bars were dark and closed or closing. I was quite excited. I gave the 'spirit tree' that sits in the middle of the road it's usual toot……(gone native you see)... and parked up. Immediately a girl calls, "Where you go?" 'Karaoke' I answered proudly. Her eyes lit up……and the not completely unexpected reply rang out….."Bai Doway?" I smiled and moved on. More calls from the girls as I passed them…"Handsome man where you go?"…genuine enthusiasm in their voices. It felt like my early days here when life was a cycle of bars, bar-fines and beddings…that was only ended by the glum arrival at Don Muang and the flight home. More calls from pretty girls….added a spring to my step. I was feeling chipper! Then it dawned on me that I was the only falang around…It was closing time and that their enthusiasm was edged with desperation…... Ah well! From some distance I'd spotted the 'Mayor of Soi 6', (or Bushcraft) sitting masterful and relaxed outside the place….. A wet fag in one hand, taking its turn with the whisky and soda in the other. He was surprised and delighted that I'd come along, (genuinely……I think). The usual back-slapping ensued and then I'm keen to take a look inside. Whoever was up on stage it didn't register. Looking round the double bar it was about 50/50 men and women sitting at food and booze stacked tables facing the stage. The men were mostly young Thais with the big hair and skinny jeans. More feeble and friendly than threatening. However, I'm still careful as to who's eyes I made contact with. As far as I could see, I was the only falang there, apart from his nibbs……so there was a lot of interest/curiosity in the dashing atlas framed in the door-way. I treated the room to my winning grin and then spotted Faah…..(Bashcraft's significant other) running full-pelt ,arms open and my way. When you're in a room full of strangers and Boss of the place is so pleased to see you….. it's important to play it up for all you can. So some pantomime fear on my part followed by hugs and squeals quickly established my Karaoke credentials and we all relaxed. 'He friend,he come in peace' There wasn't a bar apparent ……..'Service boys' brought the drinks to you…….In my case service was a Cliff Richard clone... as weak as pump water but obviously every Thai girl's dream. Bushy explained the girls buy them drinks all night. Flirt and often bar-fine them. The words of British writer Katherine Whitehorn 1926 came to mind……And I spoke them to Bushcraft……She said, "The best careers advice you can give to the young is……To find out what it is you like doing best….and to get someone to pay you to do it." The 'Thai Cliff and his Shadows' had turned the bar scene as we know it on it's head……. Both of us couldn't help but marvel at and envy the lucky buggars. The party upped to an even higher level when a long legged beauty took the mike and launched a delicious assault on our ears and our eyes. She was a professional and had them all singing along and living the moment as only Thais fueled by Samsong can. I stayed for an enjoyable hour. It was a fascinating look into another important sector of the bar scene……A sector that BMs like Torque refuse to believe exist. I'd learnt a lot. I'd had fun……and enough to drink. Time for bed….. The night didn't end quite there……but this story does.

Quite a collection……..Liked a couple of those BB thanks.

Sorry I was following the thread……..I hope you will understand if I have missed out on a chapter of your personal history with Big D.