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A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, "Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."   The art collector replied, "I've had an aw

A successful expat is hobbling his way home through Pattaya beach road one evening. "Hey, Handsome, how about it?" "You're joking," says the 90-year-old, "I just can't manage it any more." "Ah,

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Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace, and the Queen Mum arrive at the Pearly Gates, St Peter explains that only one can get through and that they each have to put forward their case for entry.

Freddie says, 'I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made some mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the most beautiful music in the world. I'll stand at the back of heaven, and serenade everybody with my wondrous songs, making heaven a far happier place to be.'

'Pretty good, Fred' said St Peter, 'what about you Gianni?'

Versace says, 'I make the most beautiful clothes in the world. I will completely redesign the fashions up here, from the archangels to the cherub to the choirboys. As you well know Pete, if you look good you will feel good and that will make heaven a much happier place'

'Not bad,' says St Peter. 'What about you Queenie?'

The Queen Mum does not say a word, instead she lifts up her skirt and pulls down her knickers, inserts a full bottle of Evian water into her fanny, lets the water shoot up inside her and then gush out all over the floor.

'Excellent, you're in' says St Peter.

'Hold on a fucking minute,' says Freddie 'She didn't even say anything.'

'Fred you know the rules,' says St Peter, 'A royal flush always beats a pair of Queens.'

Edited by VPI78
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On 2/26/2022 at 5:16 AM, VPI78 said:

555, it's from a UK site. American cops might call it a baton, nightstick, or billy club but seldom a 'truncheon' and I changed the spelling of 'metres.'

 

Sorry but I mean my reply as a joke , considering the number of police brutality videos I see on Facebook where this actually seems like the norm.

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11 minutes ago, sinbinjack said:

Sorry but I mean my reply as a joke , considering the number of police brutality videos I see on Facebook where this actually seems like the norm.

No need to be sorry in my view but civil of you to explain your intent.

In this era of wokeness, so many get offended over nothing. Comedy has always been a minefield in the best of times and it's 10x more so today.

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2 hours ago, cunneyes said:

received_248347764171047.jpeg

Well, except for Gina Gerson.  I mean there are limits to my sacrifice. 

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