BigusDicus

White House Breakfast Dick Cheney and George W. Bush are having breakfast at the White House. The attractive young waitress asks Cheney what he would like, and he replies, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit." "And what can I get for you, Mr. President?" George W. looks up from his menu and replies with his trademark wink and slight grin, "How about a quickie this morning?" ''Why, Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims. "How rude! You're starting to act like President Clinton," and then she storms away. Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers "It's pronounce

I had a wife like that come to think of it.

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. "Tony, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She quickly drank the whiskey on the way down, knowing it would shatter and go to waste otherwise, then her parachute

This crash could have been fatal! Thank goodness the airbags deployed!!

Ya gotta see to believe! This is just too weird..... Back in the days of the Soviet Union, the Soviet Red Army had an official choir composed of male soldiers and musicians. It still exists. The Red Army Choir performs throughout Russia to this day. Now consider the Finnish rock band called The Leningrad Cowboys. A little while ago, they held a concert in Russia, in which - to the screaming applause of Russkie teen-agers - they got the Red Army Choir to join them on stage for a performance of "Sweet Home Alabama." In English. You couldn't make this up. http://www.tothepo

I agree. You can crop, resize, and do minor touchup. Very easy to use.

I do not normally enjoy others misfortunes - I am making an exception on this one.

I do not know if below is actually true but who would make something like this up? AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure....... Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the foll

IRISH BIRTH CONTROL Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?' She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.' The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.' She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways. Some years later they met agai

new musical ... watch the audience's faces

A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.' The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, Dropped his trousers, And placed his Johnson and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth.

Excellent!

I would rather hear about a girl than a chior boy!

The great fall of China Revised GDP calculations show that Beijing isn't the giant we thought it was. By Walter Russell Mead Los Angeles Times December 30, 2007 The most important story to come out of Washington recently had nothing to do with the endless presidential campaign. And although the media largely ignored it, the story changes the world. The story's unlikely source was the staid World Bank, which published updated statistics on the economic output of 146 countries. China's economy, said the bank, is smaller than it thought. About 40% smaller. China, it turns out,

The reality is China just is not all that big - yet. I posted the article below around the beginning of this year. It is an interesting read. http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/sunday...nday-commentary I apologize for my redundancy......

Might be better to use theirs first. Our is getting more and more expensive to get out of the ground.

Were we not saying this about the Japanese 20 years ago? "It's like deja vu all over again" - Yogi Berra

He has been spending money like a drunken democrat!

I certainly do agree they do spend a lot of money on nonsense. Corporate welfare? There certainly is some. In the overall scheme of things very little. War spending. While significant, once again just not that much. And the "return" (on investment) we receive is not just good, it is necessary. I am curious: Just what "other domestic programs" might we cut in your opinion? J, your ideas and aspirations are admirable. Emotional, heartfelt. I wish they could work. I do not believe they can though. PS. Agreed it is hard to feel sorry for the farmers anymore. It is p

I sure hope you are right! Yes they will raise our taxes. Yours and mine. Hum, the problem with this reasoning is it overlooks the fact that historically, .85 cents of every dollar spent on entitlement programs goes towards administrative costs and overhead. Hey, for every billionaire you show me who says he doesn't pay enough taxes I will show you 10 who say they pay too much.

When is the last time anybody's taxes went down because of the democrats? You really think they will only raise taxes on the rich and not you too? For the sake of argument lets ignore how raising taxes slows the economy thus reducing the government revenue. Lets not even think about how if you tax the rich too much they move significant portions of their monies offshore to avoid those taxes resulting in less tax revenues. Forget about all that. Lets focus on the democrats. Both Clinton and Obama say they would like to implement universal healthcare. It is a mojor part of both's ca

Are you leaving because you think things in America are really so bad, or because of the LBFM's in Thailand?

Very good! Keep em coming.

Mexican Earthquake A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start and is asking for help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots. Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Other Latin American countries are sending supplies. The European community (except France) is sending food and money. The United States, not to be outdone, i

That is too good!