BigusDicus

Very good. I am stealing it.

Great line!

Good additions guys, thanks.

Warning: These jokes may offend you....if so, too bad. ____________________________________________________ Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said, “Fuck that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!” ____________________________________________________ Wife says to husband, “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car.” He replies, “If you take it up the ass and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!” ____________________________________________________ What’s the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET? ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn’t claim benefits, had his own fucking bike , and wanted to go home! ____________________________________________________ A guy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed. The offenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment of silence passes and the guy says, “I can’t believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!” ____________________________________________________ Got this text from my brother recently. It read. “Can I stay at your house for a while? The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock. It just reaches the back of her sister’s throat!” ______________________________________________________ * Was banging this nice Lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!” Thinking back, I really should have ran – but you don’t get offers like that every day. ____________________________________________________ Sorry for not calling you on New Years, I just got out of jail. I got locked up for punching the fuck out of this idiot at a party. In my defense…when you hear an Arab counting down from 10, your instincts kick in. ____________________________________________________ My wife just came in and said, “I don’t know if I am coming or going. ”I said to her, “Judging by the look on your face, you’re going – ‘cus when you’re coming, you look like a fucking mentally challenged kid trying to whistle!” ____________________________________________________ I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I fucked a g irl called Penny – is that spooky or what? _____________________________________________________ The missus asked me, “When you’re on a boys only trip away, do you think about me?” Apparently “ Only to stop myself from coming too quickly ” wasn’t the right answer. ____________________________________________________

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend..... "That's us in 10 years." He said "That's a mirror, dip-shit!"

Absolutely incredible. Wow!

Enough about hard drives. I am close to hopping on a plane. What is the latest on flooding and any related problems please?

When Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the Nation I helped conceive?" Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed." James Madison followed, kicked him hard and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!" Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Obama with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence." The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the radical, socialist, leader. As Obama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Obama wept and Said, "This is not what you promised me." The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72VIRGINIANS waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said? You really need to listen when someone is trying to tell you something!"

Generally speaking most US taxes are lower than European taxes

Another consideration. Many girls do not like to travel to Jomten. Especially for short time.

And that is where you just have to hope that good ole 'free trade & competition' will eventually kick in. There are only so many asses's for all those seats out there......

Yes, I remember hearing it often. Then again I grew up hearing the same thing about Coors.

A very nice report. Excellent pictures. Thank you very much.

Certainly could be. Then again, if I see an empty area I get up and move. Carpe Diem. If a flight attendant wants to deal with my heart condition and bad knee, etc., (and all the other stuff I will suddenly be concerned with) I will get up and move back. Remember the old adage: "It is much easier to beg forgiveness, than get permission". Carpe Diem!

This is hilarious! Nice find Joe.

Houston, we have a problem.......

My dates have just dropped down to $1157 again. Your dates came in at $1210. China Air is the lowest at $967. If you are watching pennies as so many are now days it is a significant amount. For me the ease of the flight plus an extra 8-10 hours on the ground in Thailand are worth the extra $240. My dates are very close to yours. I too am concerned about the floods. I doubt ticket prices are going to go up. Chances are many will begin to cancel trips. If you have not purchased you ticket I would wait and see how things go. I would think Pattaya will be accessible and dry. Food and bottled water issues might occur. Then again chances are the girls will be extra hungry....

I have a friend whose company sells memory and other computer components. They have offices worldwide. She is suddenly having trouble getting hard drives. Apparently a significant portion of them are manufactured in Thailand.

Okay guys, per my official itinerary: Aircraft Airbus Industrie A340-500

I believe Thai Air does use the A380 on the LAX/BKK trip. Each seat has individual LCD screens, many movies/TV Shows, and games to choose from.

Thai Air is a decent airlines and the only nonstop service from the US west coast. Have flown the nonstop many times since they began service several years ago. 18 hours going, 15 coming back (last year my flight had good tailwinds, just under 14 hours coming back). Flights have departed on time every trip. Other carriers options usually add several hours each way and require changing planes, sitting around an airport, sometimes going through security again Until last year I always purchased tickets from Thai Air direct. Last years I came across a service called CheapOAir. Saved me $200-300. Recently I have been using Kayak.com. They search every airline, list the flight info and several vendors like Vayama.com, Expedia.com, etc. with links to each site. Last night I purchased a ticket for $1157.00 R/T (Leaving mid Nov, return the second week of Dec)including all taxes and service fees from Vayama. They have consistently offered the lowest price. Although a few weeks ago when I began seriously tracking prices both Expedia and Travelocity were only $10 and 20 more. I would have purchased through Expedia for the extra $10 because I a good relationship with them. But last night they both showed $150 more. Last night Thai Air was over $1600 direct! Last night I paid $1157, today it shows $1210. I have seen the prices raise and lower with approximately $150 variables. Seem to get higher towards the weekend and lower back down Sun/Mon. I have no relationships or financial interests in any of the companies above. In my opinion Thai Air is the best option for LAX to BKK. $1210 Economy Thai Airways LAX 9:30p BKK 7:30p BKK 6:30a LAX 7:20p 18h 00m0 14h 50m0 details pin share 6 sites Vayama $1210Orbitz $1228Cheaptickets $1228Thaiairwaysusa $1228Check:TravelocityExpedia

I have used Ambien for years. My doctor recommended it. Said it was initially developed for travelers. I get on the plane, let them feed me, take the pill and have a glass of wine. Wake up 5-6 hours later, eat again, another pill, sleep another 4-5 hours. I find it good for resetting my body clock for jet lag. Take one pill the first couple of nights to sleep.

When I travel I do not necessarily want my clients and friends to know I am out of town. For me it is not so much the speed (as in fast), but the consistency of the signal. I do not usually need to download really large files. But I do need a strong, consistent signal. I make many 'Internet' calls (VOIP) and some Skype. If the signal is weak, inconsistent the calls can be garbled, with interference, or dropped.

Has anybody stayed at the Haven since they have redone their rooms? Their website says says 'safety deposit box". In the room? I am wondering how good their Internet is? Has anybody used it?

Does he speak from experience