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Everything posted by MeGoDanceNow

  1. I liked the joke and voted it "lol." But I agree with you, let's keep the political jokes on the "political jokes" thread in P&R.
  2. Who is a better friend, your wife or your dog? Your dog is. And it's easy to prove. Simply lock your wife and dog together in the trunk of your car and go for a drive for about half an hour. Then drive home and open the trunk. Which of the two will be happy to see you?
  3. Here's a nerdy one told me many years ago in my uni days by a computer science major. A practical IQ test is devised in which the curtains in a room have been set on fire. A bucket of water and fire extinguisher are supplied in the room. A physicist, an accountant and a mathematician are tested. The physicist enters the room, looks at the bucket of water and fire extinguisher and says, "The fire retardant can smother the flames more efficiently than the water." He uses the fire extinguisher to put out the fire. The accountant enters the room, looks at the bucket of water
  4. Now I'm going to picture that spawny geezer every time my phone rings.
  5. Germans don't smile unless they're drunk. In Japan they call the "Jap's eye" the German mouth, because it never smiles.
  6. Some of the reactions on social media were funny:
  7. Now, T, let's not have that political talk on this here funnies board
  8. I may have to sign up for a second phone so I can download the app. Then leave it in a storage locker somewhere.
  9. One of those motivational phrases is "be unstoppable." Does that really make sense? Isn't that why she bought the tampon in the first place? (Stuck inside avoiding the corona crazy)
  10. Wink's as good as a nod to a blind bat. Thanks for the heads up.
  11. There are a LOT of women like that in Canada. A lot of them. Every year I feel less and less attachment to my home country. It is just more and more clear that as a white man with a job I am not welcome.
  12. I posted this elsewhere but since this thread seems to be a busy one about exchange rates, some clever lads have offered a chart of the most overvalued and undervalued currencies. Hopefully the pain many of us have been feeling with the strong baht will start correcting sometime soon.
  13. A reporter for the Weather Channel is caught pretending to be barely able to stand up in the hurricane while two locals casually stroll by behind him in shorts. Busted! https://youtu.be/4C64LVs2lL8
  14. That's' actually intonation, not tone. As in the difference between Really?? Really!! and Really.
  15. And I put in the insurance goal. Maybe we have women members here who are currently up on blocks and in urgent need of one of these beaver dams?
  16. As one of my fellow students in my freshman German class said, "How many fucking ways are there to say 'the' in this language??" It's what English would have looked like if it hadn't been bombarded by French.
  17. I checked into a hotel, I told the bellhop to handle my bag. He started feeling up my wife. I was an ugly kid too. My father took me to the zoo. The caretaker thanked him for returning me. At home we had a sandbox -- the cat kept covering me up.
  18. "I like taking two girls. Always take two girls, you know? Yeah, two girls, that's how you do it. That way when I fall asleep they have someone to talk to."
  19. Too bad as I'm a fan of craft beer. They have some nice craft beers at Tim's on Second Road. Guess I won't be trying the ones at Craft House -- or at Lee's Diner.
  20. I'm sure my British friends are inconsolable but reaching the semifinals is no mean feat. You had a good run, lads. And NOBODY saw Croatia coming. I thought I should be the first to post about this because it hurts less when the bad news comes from a guy who knows fuck-all about football. For sentimental reasons I will be rooting for Croatia. As a Canadian, I won't bother to watch it.
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