Bar Humor

[BigusDicus]

[BigusDicus]

[VPI78]

[BigusDicus]

Reasons not to drink too much...

Edited December 3, 2020 by BigusDicus

[BigusDicus]

 

Yes, a woman...

Edited December 3, 2020 by BigusDicus

[gs joe]

A must for Xmas 

even Frosty gets a mention 

 

[Bullfrog]

24 minutes ago, gs joe said:

A must for Xmas 

even Frosty gets a mention 

 

Brilliant!

[VPI78]

[BigusDicus]

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together..

 

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment she notices that one wall of his bedroom is Completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddybears.

 

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, Cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!  It's obvious that he has taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them. She's immediately touched by the amount of thought he put into organizing the display.

 

There are small bears all along the bottom shelf, Medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and Huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

 

She finds it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of teddy bears. She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him.  They share a bottle of wine and continue talking. After awhile, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?"

 

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips.  He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom, where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.  She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

 

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.

The woman rolls over, gently Strokes his chest and asks coyly,  'Well, how was it?'

 

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:

'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'

[BigusDicus]

[BigusDicus]

[VPI78]

[VPI78]

Do you know the difference between Ironman and Iron woman?

One is a super hero and the other an instruction.

[VPI78]

Brrrrisk this morning in Texas; in the 30s (F) with a breeze ... a bit chilly ... some might say there's a little nip in the air.

Edited December 7, 2020 by VPI78

[MrMango]

2 hours ago, VPI78 said:

some might say there's a little nip in the air.

I live in Hawaii, and a lot of people have said that today.....

[teelack]

Looking a lot like Christmas

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[teelack]

Complaints! All I have ever get is complaints!

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[awesum4]

2 hours ago, MrMango said:

I live in Hawaii, and a lot of people have said that today.....

Can you give us a source for that statement please......555

[MrMango]

52 minutes ago, awesum4 said:

Can you give us a source for that statement please......555

My deraigned mind.....

[BigusDicus]

[BigusDicus]

 

A capitalist walked into a bar and sat down between Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Bernie Sanders. Just then, the 10PM news came on and the lead story was of a man on a ledge of a skyscraper preparing to commit suicide.

 

Bernie looked at the capitalist and asked, "Do you think he'll jump?"

 

The capitalist replied, "I bet he will."

 

Alexandria and Bernie both shot back, "Well, we bet he won't."

 

The capitalist placed $10 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

 

Just as AOC and Bernie placed their money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building. AOC and Bernie were very upset and bitterly tried handing their money to the capitalist.

 

With a slight smile, the capitalist said, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he’d jumped."

Alexandria replied, "Well, we did too; but we didn't think he'd do it again."

 

This is the reasoning of socialists: they’ve seen societies that adopt socialism die repeatedly throughout history, yet somehow cling to the idea that it won’t happen again.

Edited December 7, 2020 by BigusDicus

[BigusDicus]

[TheFiend]

5 hours ago, BigusDicus said:

That's not a Kia..... it's a Ford Focus...

[VPI78]

[BigusDicus]