monkeyman

Get involved with something like Google Ads and the next thing you know there'll be problems with "inappropriate content" upsetting their advertisers and they'll effectively end up dictating what we can and can't post (remind anyone of another board?) That would be the end of this board as we know it. LordFlash's suggestion is certainly worthy of further consideration.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap and best wishes to all, and welcome to this month’s trip down Pattaya’s Loony Lane as the bans pile up and the insanity bar gets raised to even greater heights. So the Pattaya beach alcohol ban has now been joined by the new smoking ban, and of course we have the vaping ban as well. The authorities have obviously concluded that to get rid of beach litter you first have to get rid of all the tourists. Well this should do the trick. However, just in case it doesn’t, the powers that be came up with another little gem, the now widely reported ban on

Yes, it is indeed the plot next to Sabai Wing, so anyone planning to stay there in the near future should bear this in mind when booking a room.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, a Happy New Year to one and all, and a big core coon crap for joining us for more Pattaya stories just as TAT proclaims that Pattaya was visited by 150,000 tourists over Christmas – well they would, wouldn’t they? Once again, Pattaya ushered in the New Year in its own inimitable style. Sek Loso, the headline act booked for the New Year Countdown Concert, didn’t show up as he’d been thrown in jail by the police a few hours earlier. The remaining acts tried to make the best of it but didn’t fare too well as even the Thais didn’t seem to know who they were. The one e

If you liked Sabai Wing before but had issues with the age of the rooms, have you considered their newer Studio or Superior rooms that were only built a couple of years ago? They're also actually cheaper than the old Sabai Wing rooms, which haven't been refurbed other than having the old CRT televisions replaced with wall-mounted LCD ones.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, a festive showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to this year’s yuletide goings on in Santa Pattaya. Jingle bahts, jingle bahts, jingle all the way…bah, humbug. A couple of jet ski operators have been arrested after a Chinese tourist accused them of stealing stuff worth a million baht from his bag while he went swimming in the sea off the coast of Koh Larn. A million baht? Christ on a bike, what did he have in the bag? A couple of giant pandas and the fuckin’ tour bus? This story is just so hard to believe. Jet Ski operators bring arrested? There’s a new live T

Yes, a tad on the late side this time out. Hopefully the December edition will be little more timely.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for dropping by, and welcome once more as Pattaya returns to normal and a new era dawns (oh no, not another one.) Well, the Pattaya beach revolution is over and done, with all operators using the new chairs and umbrellas supplied by City Hall, and everything is just fine and dandy. Except that tourists keep falling out of the chairs because they weren’t designed to be used on sand. And the cushions get so hot that nobody can sit on them. And the new umbrellas carry adverts for Chang beer, which makes them illegal under the Alcohol Beverage Control A

I'm in the airline's membership scheme so they already told my details.

I've used those machines and there wasn't any need to check in online first. The girls probably didn't put their passports in the machine properly, possibly because the on-screen instructions tell you to put them in the wrong way round.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for another month, and welcome to this month’s sombre lockdown look at No Fun City. Following the success of the Wednesday deckchair ban in ridding the beach of holidaymakers, the authorities have taken further steps to free Pattaya from the scourge of tourism by banning smoking and the sale of alcohol on all beaches. So what will the next beach ban be then? Shorts and sandals? Bastards. An Iranian bloke was given a good kicking in the wee hours (nasty) after he and his mate were set upon by some Thai blokes and his alleged buddy ran off and left

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for joining us once more, and welcome to this month’s round up of daily life in Smirk City. Yes, it’s finally happened. After a six month delay, the Pattaya Klang Underpass opened on August 25 to a great hullabaloo and celebration. After he’d sobered up, the transport minister said the tunnel was very important as it was an integral part of the main artery into Pattaya. No doubt the first heart attack won’t be long in coming. Following a leaked report, City Hall has admitted that less than half the CCTV cameras in Pattaya are in working order. W

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to the summer hols, and welcome to more envelope-pushing lunacy from the city that never sleeps – it just gets pissed and passes out. A website survey has voted Thailand as the most Chinese tourist friendly country in the world. The website stressed the importance of the Chinese to the Thai tourist industry and how important it was to take good care of them. Two Thai tour guides have been arrested in Pattaya for threatening and beating a group of budget Chinese tourists who refused to pay for expensive add-ons to their Cheap Charlie package holid

There are three designated stopping zones outside A-One Royal Cruise Hotel, Hard Rock Hotel and Royal Garden Plaza.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for looking in, and welcome to more unlikely tales from the city of MICE, rice and vice (but not necessarily in that order.) Well, the devastating news this month is that there aren’t going to be any more Go Go Bars in Pattaya. Fortunately, there probably aren’t going to be any less either as the announcement was made that there weren’t going to be any new Go Go licences granted in the foreseeable future. Now, given that in Pattaya ‘the foreseeable future’ is usually less than a week, the impact of this should be fairly minimal. However, if it goes

Yes, it was a very bad comparison as to my knowledge no clowns have ever been involved in a raid on a soapy massage parlour, though if they had they'd have probably made a better job of it.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for another month, and welcome to some more squeaky tales from Mice City. Hotel operators in Pattaya say they’re worried about the damage being done to the city’s image by the increasing number of unregistered hotels offering cut-price accommodation to “low-quality tourists” while the upmarket sector seems to be favouring alternative destinations such as Phuket and Koh Samui. So they want quality, not quantity. So that must mean they want to get rid of the stinking pigs. However, the Tourist Authority of Thailand are saying that tourist arrivals

Well that's the Indians fucked then.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for keeping the faith, and welcome to another walk through the world of weird. Walk this way. Pattaya Police have got themselves a new recruit in the form of a drone that will be used to keep an eye on the goings-on in Walking Street. It’ll be interesting to see how long this latest fad lasts before it hits some power cables or tourists and then gets chucked into the same skip as the broken CCTV system, the electronic tourist information boards that were scrapped without ever being used and every other piece of failed technological junk that’s been

Inside No. 9

Greetings Monkeywatchers, a soggy Songkran showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to our special April Fool rodent edition. A squirrel has been blamed for the sewage pump failure that led to Wong Amat Beach becoming full of shit the other weekend. Tourists and beach vendors were put to flight as the sea became so black and smelly that it was virtually indistinguishable from Soi 16. The official story is that the squirrel bit though a cable, causing its own demise as well as that of the sewage pump. Suppose it could happen, but one can’t help thinking that maybe Wong Amat Beach isn’t the onl

Or to put it another way, stinking pigs.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for coming back for more, and welcome as we cast another beady eye over the ups and downs of life on the street. And off it. Well, it was here we go again time this month as the government ordered a new crackdown on Pattaya’s nightlife following an article in brit rag The Daily Mirror exposing the alleged shocking goings-on in Fun City. This is of course the same paper that exposed the shocking goings-on in war-torn Iraq using photos that were later proven to have been taken in the Liverpool area (which admittedly does look like war-torn Iraq.) Anyw

There's loads of photos on the Secrets board.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for dropping by, and welcome to this month’s peek through the curtains at what’s been going on and going off in Smirk City. Everybody has their own way of celebrating Valentine’s Day, and in the case of the Boys in Brown it took the form of a Valentine’s Day Go Go raiding party in the Walking Street area. This was allegedly carried out “to give tourists a warm feeling and to assure them of their safety.” Don’t think the punter who they caught on the job in a ST room felt too safe. He may well have got a warm feeling though – the poor sod probably pi