Bushcraft

One such owner is famous for shooting an apple off his son's head with a crossbow bolt - his name's William Patel.

Thanks for this latest instalment Monkeyman, always enjoy your take on things. We are indeed bemused onlookers, never really participants in this benighted country.

The Irish border, or shared desire not to have a 'hard' one, has always been the major stumbling block since negotiations began (see the brilliant exposition by O'Toole in the other thread), and is not the latest fiasco but an intractable problem. It's equally true that the 'Irish border' has never been anything 'hard', but instead a porous zigzag of over 200 crossing points ever since partition in 1921. It's not policeable and never has been, and both parties know it. It's likely that the prices of world commodities will fall in GB+NI when it actually leaves the EU customs union, as it will

Sam, why beat about the bush, tell him straight mate. I concur with your sentiments, the UK will not be isolated or towed out to sea and sunk when this palaver is over, a deal will be done and adjustments will be made for many years afterwards. The UK is too important a player to be bullied into submission by this cabal of people who want to abolish the nation state and destroy European culture with a view to world government. The wheels will not stop turning in April, money will continue to talk loudest and the doomsayers will be proved wrong.

It beggars belief that these bitches believe they're right to act as they do, or express worthless opinions at quick-fire speed and volume to drown out reasoned dissent. Giving a man the finger unprovoked is not an obscene, insulting gesture but an expression of free speech under the 1st Amendment? WTF? Where's all this going? Who would want to be married to these sorry excuses for womanhood?

This Brexit hoohah could be settled so quickly with a few deft strokes. The UK has to get tough and play its aces: 1. Instruct the Irish to leave the EU as well - border problem sorted 2. Threaten Eire and the rest of the EU with an export ban on Scotch whisky if they cause any more difficulties - better than sending a gunboat in these PC times, the equivalent of starving them into submission, and will distract the ScotsNats with distiller's droop. Thank goodness I studied at the Salman Rushdie College of Public Relations, things become so clear .. By the way, he's about to publish a new b

Yes, Bodyguard is very engrossing, I think we can look forward to some plot twists.

In my experience you don't need a prescription.

Amen to that, thanks for all your efforts Frostie.

I sometimes travel from Jomtien to Soi 6 by baht bus, noticed how many Indian restaurants were suddenly springing up and resolved to count them last night. I came up with 28 just on the stretch between the overpass and Klang, and may have missed a couple of less obvious ones. From being quite rare a few years ago, their presence is now pretty huge, with sometimes very large premises that must have cost a pretty rupee. So who are they catering for? There are fewer and fewer farang in town at any time nowadays, so that's not a growth market. Visiting Indians are mostly unlikely to afford the pr

A young pilot crash-lands in a jungle clearing in Africa. On struggling out of the wreckage, he finds himself surrounded by a mob of angry natives wielding spears. He says to himself "Oh shit, I'm really fucked now". Suddenly a voice from the clouds says to him: "No you're not fucked - see that big native with the spear prancing around in front of you? That's their chieftain. Grab his spear and stab him in the chest with it." The pilot does as the voice commands, grabs the spear and runs it through the chieftain's chest. "NOW you're really fucked," the voice says.

This a tantamount to a national tragedy for Germans, there will be huge recriminations about lazy, overpaid millionaire prima donnas, and Joachim Loew will undoubtedly announce his resignation as national coach. From World Cup champion to elimination in the first round makes his position untenable IMO. It goes to show that there are no truly bad or easy teams in the World Cup this time, and the giant-killers are improving all the time. Looking forward to the Belgium game tonight, and hoping that England will pull the stops out rather than shifting down a gear to rest major players.

I've just laboured my way through the 1st season of "Westworld". I found it quite surreal and confusing - pseudo-scientific claptrap interspersed with extremely graphic violence. Anybody willing to recommend season 2, and why? Otherwise I won't bother. Really enjoying "Deadwood" season 1 right now.

Well posted and attractive, but in fact Monger's Law applies in Patts: The throb of the knob + the heat of the meat, provided the urge is constant. Obeying this principle has enabled me to resolve many a mathematical conundrum.

Some of you are no slouches yourselves, thankfully. The Germans have an old saying (which rhymes) to the effect that once your reputation is ruined, life is all the more unstressed. Like all of us, I didn't come to Patts to indulge myself in the beautiful beach, highly spiritual temples or .. er .. local culture. In view of recent sad losses I'm also increasingly aware that we're a long time dead and should enjoy what we have left. And I really enjoyed the entire crawl, met up with old friends, got plenty of attention and visited some now unfamiliar agogos. Many thanks to Frosty for organizin

Nice one Monkeyman, "Mohammed Alley" made me laugh out loud. I suspect that name will stick as it gets well-known.

Bump. Deafening silence so far, nobody else in town?

Count me in Frosty!

Atlas2 walks into a bar with a live lobster under his arm. Bartender: Are you taking that lobster home for dinner? Atlas2: No, we've had dinner, we're going to the cinema now.

A drunk walks into a bar and is taken to hospital - it was an iron bar.

Rot In Peace, you were a shady character but much appreciated. Felled by Thai lads whom you normally can't promote beyond branch manager?

That'll give a lot of people the hump!

Queen Vic on Soi 6 does a reliably good one.

I remember seeing a B52 on display at RAF Duxford, alongside a Lancaster. Huge machine!