Bushcraft

Haha nice one thanks. Strangely enough, I've never seen an Indian with a 3-baht gold necklace in Patts before, and now there seems to be a rash of them getting robbed. No doubt they took the precaution of insuring the bling before coming here, and being able to present a police theft complaint should make the scam perfect. Methinks Indian insurers are not so easily fooled ..

She should Earn well if she stays .. and there's reading matter while you're bonking her.

The 300 unquestionably went into her own pocket. No question, I'd gladly have paid the same to avoid another trip.

I did the exact same thing in Soi 5 last week. No problem, I was able to collect both passports with new entries in the new one next day. Free of charge though.

I was in Cherry Bar last night. Everybody checkbinned just before 9 pm and we waited to drink up and see when the BIB would arrive. Adam and his girls left just after 9, and a uniformed copper on a bike plus a young bloke in civvies turned up at 9.30, shouting at people to leave. Seeing that the barstools were all over the place and there were empty beer bottles left along the bar, I tidied up, collected up the bottles and went inside to leave them next to the till. Got shouted at by the young bloke, ignored him and left. Could have been awkward, as he might have thought I was the bar owner an

Always good for a chuckle, thanks for persevering in these dry times, it can only get better, but only better than it is now.

Keep hanging in there Phil. Is there a delivery charge for meals, how much to Jomtien? Do your girls do the delivering?

That's bad news for all the investors who've been putting up hotels and condos in Patts, but good news for the expats who live here - provided that the Thai goverment cares a damn about ordinary jobless Thai people and opens up the bars, agogos etc. and lets people from other nations in as a matter of priority. That presupposes a mass vaccination programme, which is unaccountably (and suspiciously) delayed. Possibly the Thai elite are still cooking up a scheme how to make serious money from such a programme after all, despite it initially being announced as "free". Don't let a crisis go to was

Of course Treenudgeyergroin is back on the panel, to do otherwise would be apportioning blame in the local way of thinking. Heavens, even the former ambassador who sold the Thai embassy in The Hague some years ago is still working as a senior civil servant somewhere.

I'd be pleasantly surprised if the British ambassador was party to this if its true. My perception is that my government doesn't give a damn about retired UK expats. We don't have a vote, which may be why. Our pensions are frozen here, though not in the Philippines, we're not entitled to free use of the national health service when visiting home - although we've paid the same dues throughout our working lives as UK retirees have.

Q: How does a blind parachutist know when he's about to hit the ground? A: His guide dog's lead goes slack.

I don't think you'll get many takers among the mostly aging Pattaya expat community. Or if you offer punctuation classes. ?

Here's one from the late Tommy Cooper: I went up to a fitness instructor and asked him if he could teach me to do the splits. He said "I think so, how flexible are you?" Me: "I can't do Tuesdays."

Re. #1932 - A wife comes home to find her husband reading a book. "What's reincarnation?" he asks. "Well it means that after you die, you come back to the world as something different." "Sounds great, I'd want to come back as a pig." "You're not listening to me, are you!"

Never heard of O'Brien (fine English surname). What's not to like about national days for a bit of fun, they're not exactly military parades or torchlight processions. In fact national or saint's days have often led to children born on that day being named after them in the British Isles (George, Patrick, Andrew). My son Pancake agrees with me on this.

I think we're allowed to be modestly pleased to be English today. Have a good one.

Although I live only 10 minutes walk from Jomtien Immigration, I'd welcome this as it's one thing less for my addled old brain to remember.

Here's one that make me laugh out loud. There's a new handiman at the zoo. He's given 3 jobs for his first day. First, clean the weeds out of the fishpond, for which he's given a shovel. Stepping into the fishpond, a huge pike jumps out and bites him on the arm. He swings the shovel and kills it stone dead. He looks around and nobody has been watching. What to do with the dead pike? Aha, the lion enclosure is over the way, so he drags the dead pike across and heaves it over the fence. Job done. His next job is to clean out the monkeyhouse, where he's attacked by two chimpanzees

#1130 reminds me of the old news headline back in the 1970s: The East German pole-vault champion is now the West German pole-vault champion.

The manager in a general store is training a new young recruit in the art of upselling. He tells him to watch what he does when a customer walks in and asks for a packet of lawn seed. Manager: This seed is really great, you'll have a superb lawn in just weeks. Might be a good idea to buy a lawnmower as well, so that you can take good care of it. Customer: That's a good idea, I don't have one yet, can you show me what you have? The manager makes the sale, then tells the trainee to try using the upselling technique on the next customer. A guy comes in and asks for a pack of sanitary to

A customer in a DIY store asks to see a selection of files to make a choice. Confused, he asks what one of them is called. The assistant says: It's a bastard file. Visibly relaxed by this seemingly easygoing tone, the customer says: And what's this fucker here called?

You couldn't make this up and keep a straight face. What's the definition of confusion? Father's Day in Brixton, London and announcements by the Thai government. You couldn't run the proverbial whelk-stall with this managerial approach.

Unbelievable. With its tourist industry at rock bottom because of the ban on foreigners entering the country, the Thai government decides to send foreigners who have remained here on (amnestied) tourist visas packing. I fail to see the logic: these people are COVID-free and present no risk, they are usually here out of choice, they spend money thus helping the troubled economy. Why tell them to leave unless there's an agenda which all of us expats will one day fall foul of.

This is sad though probably inevitable news in view of the overheads such a large business must have. I too have many fond memories of PBG over the years, and greatly hope that it will arise again when tourist numbers justify that. Bad news for Moulie of FLB fame too, as PBG was no doubt a welcome billet for her.

This seems to happen every year, never mind, I'll struggle along and let the air into a few bottles with you and hopefully many others.