atlas2

I like Canadians............ You can always spot them in Pattaya........They're the ones that say 'Thank you' to the ATM machines.........Or if you accidentally step on their foot they apologise. Best thing about them from a Brit's point of view is that they have a sense of humour........and they can spell it.

Congratulations........ Some hard work went into them.....

When I last went the chart with coloured circles had faded or worn so much that the 'reds' at the top of the chart were orange. Led to some confusion...In the end I had to agree that orange was the new red.

Maybe the other WS owners wanted to deny ISIS a target.

Yes there were a dozen or so behind me........But they'd seen him shuffle alongside and sneak up and not a murmur from any of them. Makes it difficult for them to then complain about my generosity/naiveté. As for the re-entry I put a fictitious date for leaving very close to the expiry date of 21st Jan. It's purely because I like to get everything settled asap. Also circumstances mean that my 16 year old son will be boarding alone in Australia this year and I want the ability to be able to leave Thailand at the drop of a hat should the need arise. It's his first ever year boarding.........I've got him a 'wand' for Christmas.

Well I just thought I'd give Pattaya Immigration a pat on their golden epaulets. Last year (technically still this year) I did my 1 year renewal on Boxing Day....It was lovely......So this year, (same year) I thought I'd try Christmas Day. Glad I did. The staff were smiling and I could hear cheers coming from inside as various members arrived for work in festive gear. A guy tried to shuffle up alongside the queue and it looked like he would succeed as the guy ahead of me seemed oblivious. So.... I couldn't restrain myself for reaching forward and tugging his shirt. "Oi lad there's a queue 'ere....It's a short one but you ain't in it yet." And I pointed to the back. Now I'm in a good Christmas mood and I think I'm easy going and I know we'll all get processed.....but I can't abide queue jumpers if I let people do that to me I'd feel rotten about myself all day. Anyway he says with a far away look that he's got a 'heart condition'......so I felt guilty and offered him a place in front of me........I should write a biography and call it 'Gullibles' Travels' Got my numbered slip inside showing there were 3 ahead of me at the 1 year desk. The staff at my counter looked gorgeous in their civies and antler-horns.......And were busy taking selfies. The two ahead of me were called together, slightly before the official 8.30 kick-off. Moments later 'Rudolph's' beautiful Thai sister beckoned me over. While she checked and re-organised my papers I signed two forms I hadn't seen before.......Probably a promise not to leer at the immigration staff in future. Handed over the money, given my change and I was done. Told to collect my passport Monday and wished a 'Merry Christmas'. I checked my watch I was out the door before 8.30. Went in today........Very busy but collected my passport with the new visa stamp in it, taking all of 2 mins including a photo they take of you now. Bit of photo-copying and I was ready to do my 'multi-entry' ....Got a number showing only 2 ahead of me even though the place was packed. Processing the multi-entry took 10 mins and I was out the door. A quick trip to get a laminate colour copy for my wallet and job done. Pattaya Immigration have got things as efficiently organised as all of that red tape can be. They were polite and friendly. Well done them!

When we divorced my wife sent in to a lonely heart's club....she got a reply saying, 'we're not that lonely'

Sorry......I thought our cousins might find it a bit 'Betty Swallocks'. I nip over and get it so at least they can get a handle on what we're going on about........ https://youtu.be/Cz2-ukrd2VQ

Nah......!! They'll get it.

Went out shopping today....... This was not quite what I asked for........ But it will do as a Christmas card to you all.

Over 70s can use fast track.....

Ok....I try another......... Here's a short Bedtime Story

My wife asked, 'Would you still love me if you won a million pounds on the lottery?' I said, 'Yes of course I would..................... I'd love you and.........I'd miss you'

I was talking about this series with a friend over from the UK........He felt that it had't been all that well received. I enjoyed it and it sent me to the history books.

"I keep try post photos but can not. Can some help me please" Like all things related to that area.......'downloading' isn't usually a problem....'uploading' however, is often accompanied by eye-watering difficulty!!

Bloody hell!!! That's some impressive reading. I feel so frivolous and shallow now

He paid 2,500bt. It was a Merc.......But I'd have rather a normal taxi and a short time.

My friend arranged his with a phone call........Give them a ring.

Yep he gets here tomorrow night I'll ask him........

My mate is tomorrow........He's in Abu Dhabi for the race today and has organised the free car when he lands tomorrow......but I think they say only 60kms so he must have come to an agreement over the extra distance.........

As it's round the corner from me I was going to pop in just for a drink, (as I save my Turkey up for Christmas) and a take a quick shufty as I've only seen a Thanksgiving Event on film.......... But I'm not innocent, grateful, thankful, rich or poor........So I shall watch, 'Planes,Trains and Automobiles' again in your honour. To all Americans....... "Have a nice day y'all. "

It's good to watch once and I'm glad I went about 3 years back.........They go hammer and tongs with their paddles. And it's always nice to see Thais relaxed and having fun. When I was there I noticed some of the crews had European coaches.........We sneak in everywhere.

OK....... Prince Charles was touring a sewer. He was being shown around by Jacko the sewer's oldest hand. Having been through the re-cycling process Jacko was running out of interesting technical stuff and Prince Charles had run out of questions so he ploughed on with a more personal commentary. "Now that, (pointing at a bobbing turd), your highness is the butcher's and pretty fresh I reckon........" "That's absolutely marvellous. How can one tell?" "See the specks of sawdust" "Oh yes One can" And there your royal Boss-Ship ......That one is the hairdresser's........Hair and cotton-wool give that one away. Charles is astonished. Then Jacko points out another sailing along......."Your Lordship that's my wife's" Flabbergasted .......Charles asks "Again.... How can One tell? Easy................... It's got my sandwiches attached to it.

Knock on the door......Opens "Excuse me luv I was at the party last night .........Bloody great! Anyway i told my mate here about your golden toilet......He don't believe me so can he pop in and see it?" Women shouts up the stairs .........."George....It's the bloke that shit in your tuba'

Quartered Safe Out Here....... GM Frasier (author of the Flashman series) Only just started it and brilliant. Autobiographical and set in Burma............Where from being considered jungle supermen the Japanese suffered the worst military defeat in it's history.