Bar Humor

[teelack 9,388]

CARP - Canadian Association of Retired People Questions and Answers from CARP Forum *(suposedly)
Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them?	A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?	A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband?	A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?	A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?	A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 70-plus year old people use valet parking?	A: Valets don't forget where they park your car
Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?	A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?	A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses?	A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?	A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE, You've still got your sense of humour, haven't you?

 

 

 

 

[BigusDicus 9,838]

 

 

[BigusDicus 9,838]

[yorta2 686]

Oh, Thank Fuck for that!

[midlifecrisis 4,040]

2 hours ago, yorta2 said:

Oh, Thank Fuck for that!

And God said, "It's on my to do list."

[awesum4 2,319]

9 hours ago, yorta2 said:

Oh, Thank Fuck for that!

And God said "sorry I'm in self isolation, have been since that Martin Luther pissed me off"

[forcebwithu 4,822]

[BigusDicus 9,838]

Obtaining food & toilet paper during crazy times!

 

Edited March 24, 2020 by BigusDicus

[accyboy 78]

? 

[BigusDicus 9,838]

[midlifecrisis 4,040]

You do find some hilarious ones.

[BigusDicus 9,838]

 

"Get to the Crappah!"

 

Edited March 26, 2020 by BigusDicus

[BigusDicus 9,838]

[BigusDicus 9,838]

0 B.3gpp

I cannot figure out how to get this brief clip to open here on the page.  Funny 8 second clip on being quarantined.  Worth downloading.

Edited March 27, 2020 by BigusDicus

[BigusDicus 9,838]

[awesum4 2,319]

1 hour ago, BigusDicus said:

Brilliant mate,  one of several that have made me laugh in the last couple of days. 

Keep up the good work

[midlifecrisis 4,040]

That's Trump? The mask worked.

hehe

[BigusDicus 9,838]

New York ain't Italy...

New Yorker singing out the window told to "Shut the F_ck Up"

 

Video on website link.

https://nypost.com/video/new-yorker-singing-out-window-told-to-shut-the-f-up/?utm_source=facebook_sitebuttons&utm_medium=site+buttons&utm_campaign=site+buttons&fbclid=IwAR3e1XqNZYVajpZ9SkiGun0VFd4dXEC_jwxWTSQ1K51M2Mw6KL08R1cAyvY

 

While musicians performing from their balconies in Spain and Italy have gone viral, this singer in New York City got a different reception. Watch the hilarious moment a person singing out of his window was told to stop by one his neighbors. “Shut the f— up!” the annoyed man shouted in this funny video filmed near East 93rd Street. “How NYC handles balcony singing,” Twitter user Zoe Stuckless wrote in her post.

 

Edited March 28, 2020 by BigusDicus

[BigusDicus 9,838]

[BigusDicus 9,838]

[awesum4 2,319]

3 hours ago, BigusDicus said:

My dog is certainly happy. She gets 2 long walks a day now rather than 4 short ones a week. 

[Chang_paarp 253]

[BigusDicus 9,838]

Social Distancing Etiquette

 

 

[BigusDicus 9,838]

 

 

China: 'We've Completely Cured Coronavirus And Everything Is Fine Here And No One Is Allowed In To Check'

Edited March 30, 2020 by BigusDicus

[BigusDicus 9,838]

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