BigusDicus

Funny!

https://brevity.wordpress.com/2018/06/13/classic-jokes-for-writers/ By Julie Vick Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting bird. Interrupting bird wh– Tweet. You really must read this Tweet. ** What do you get when you cross a writer with a deadline? A really clean house. ** What did the writer who was told they have no platform do? Buy much, much higher shoes. ** Knock, knock. Who’s there? Writers go. Writers go who? No, writers go, “Why did this seem like such a brilliant idea last night?” ** Where would a writer never want to live? A writer’s block. ** A writer walks into a bar. The bartenders says, “Have you written 1000 words today? You told me to not sell you a drink until you hit your word count goal for the day.” A writer walks out of a bar. ** What is black and white and red all over? A writer’s latest draft that ended up in the trash with some V8 juice. ** Why did the writer cross the road? She was supposed to be revising an essay, so she crossed the road to run some errands, and go for a quick walk, and maybe buy a new toaster. ** Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you supposed to be finishing your current draft instead of reading jokes for writers? ___ Julie Vick’s writing has appeared in New Yorker’s Daily Shouts, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and The Rumpus. She teaches writing at the University of Colorado Denver.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/07/03/fish-pedicure-causes-woman-to-lose-her-toenails-report-says.html Fish pedicure causes woman to lose her toenails, report says By Lucia I. Suarez Sang | Fox News Facebook Twitter Flipboard Comments Print Email A woman reportedly lost her toenails after getting a fish pedicure. (istock) A woman in her 20s reportedly lost all of her toenails after allegedly getting a so-called “fish pedicure,” a treatment touted by many as rejuvenating for a person’s feet. Fish pedicures involve having small fish nibble on a person’s feet while they soak in a tub of warm or room temperature water. The toothless carp fish – which are plant eaters – voraciously feast on dead human skin. After having the fish pedicure, the woman said her toenails stopped growing and then started falling off. At first the woman thought she might have onychomadesis, a condition known for having similar symptoms; however, a visit to a dermatologist, ruled that out, Gizmodo reported. “While the mechanism of action is not entirely clear, it is likely due to the fish traumatizing the nail matrix,” Sheri Lipner, an assistant professor of dermatology at Columbia University’s Weill Cornell Medicine and the woman’s doctor, told the website. She said the case could be the first documented instance of onychomadesis ever caused by fish. “I do not recommend fish pedicures for any medical or aesthetic purpose,” Lipner said. “In addition to onychomadesis, there are also serious infections associated with fish pedicures.” Lipner would not reveal where the woman got the pedicure, but noted the treatment has been banned in at least 10 states, largely due to health concerns. The woman’s toenails will likely return, but it will take a long time as nails only grow about one millimeter a month on average, Lipner said. Lucia I. Suarez Sang is a Reporter for FoxNews.com. Follow her on Twitter @luciasuarezsang

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IMO Netflix is the single best deal on this planet!

Actually Reagan was governor of California at that time, had nothing to do with what happened in national scope. The real culprit was the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union). Before the ACLU actions there were institutions where vagrants, homeless, etc. were welcomed. Many who refused treatment, being considered a danger to themselves and/or the community were in fact forcibly incarcerated. Simply put that is why there were not that many chronically homeless/mentally ill people on the street back then. Enter the ACLU, convinced they can solve all of societies issues and problems with social engineering (and of course many donations). They brought cases to court, first in California and then national in scope saying it is wrong incarcerating individuals who are mentally ill involuntarily. Reagan's name is associated with it because the epicenter of the movement was initially California. Simple fact: A significant portion of the chronically homeless are mentally ill / drug/alcohol addicted. There are shelters and treatment available. But the shelters will not allow individuals to stay drunk, under the influence, etc. for obvious reasons. So they refuse help and treatment. The ACLU and idiot politicians will not allow those hopelessly out of control to be involuntarily committed.

The US midterm elections are in November. History tells us that both parties do whatever they can to keep the economy up through an election. Incumbents on both sides wish to be reelected. Generally speaking the economy stays strong and sometimes fades early the following year. If the economy stays strong so does the dollar. Who the boink knows how the baht will hold against the dollar. Okay, ready for Harry Truman's economist's other hand? Enter the "Irrationals". On election eve, 2016 Trump was elected. Democrats, progressives, liberals, and more than a few Republicans & conservatives heads exploded! Grey matter on ceilings/walls everywhere. They have been in psychotic rage and obsessive behavior against all things Trump. Hilary called those who liked the changes Trump wants to make to our country the "Deplorables". We now have the "Irrationals". They do and say the most stupid, dumb, and self loathings things. Many are politicians. Who knows what they may do to sabotage the economy? Irrationals, I just made that up! In answer to the OP's original question: There is no way of knowing what is going to happen. We live in ever changing times. You could hedge your funds and do monthly equal transfers for the next 6 months....

Airlines have begun to raise prices to keep up with the price of oil. Fortunately the price of oil seems to be headed downward again, slowly.

Pattaya is no longer the dirt cheap bargain it once was. It is still an incredible place to play, overall infrastructure good. Hotels remain the best bargain of mongering areas. For those of us in the US, Central and South America make a lot of sense. Greatly reduced travel times. Minimal time change. Medellin, Columbia is the hot place right now. In the mountains, does not get too hot, minimal humidity. $30-40 will get you a very attractive babe. $70 gets an absolute stunner!

We have been watching Fauda, an Israeli drama on Netflix. Simple, fast moving. Enjoyable. https://www.netflix.com/title/80113612

Truly, it is superb. My wife cried when she found out it was cancelled. Tough broad, does not cry often.

You guys....

And I would like to thank you Mr. Fiend for assisting Hyku. I am enjoying his new signature immensely.

Now I am not sure who is smarter. Newton or Bushcraft...?

Finally, Newton can explain our admiration for titties!

I have always insisted on a pristine credit report before I will rent to anyone. Have never had a problem.

Brilliant A2!

For a least a couple years during high school my little brother and I would go to sleep each night listening to side two. It simply does not get any better!

Perhaps we have spammed his thread....

For some reason Spam is favored by many locals in Hawaii. There are probably 30,000 ways of preparing it there! Other than that I love Hawaii.

There was a non-stop LAX-BKK until a few years ago. I believe it had a 4-5 run before being discontinued. It was awesome for those of us traveling from Southern California. I cannot remember what aircraft is was.

I have heard similar from 3 other people.

Last night we watched the first three episodes of a new Netflix Original Series, Collateral. Modern day detective story set in London (I think). Bloody good so far. A womanizing but nice guy MP, police, MI5, special ops military all involved in a convoluted plot still not clear.....