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Displayed prices are for multiple nights. Check the site for price per night. I see hostels starting at 200b/day and hotels from 500b/day on agoda.


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Showing content with the highest reputation since 10/30/2019 in Posts

  1. 19 points
    I mentioned Poompui and I think some of you were interested too. I don't why they named her, usually girls named Lek it makes sense, but that's her real name. Every time I come, the Rembrandt Suites seem to be priced a few baht lower, but I wanted to stay in the Nana area this time so I booked the JW, for about the same you used to pay for the Rembrandt Suites. Haven't stayed in this hotel since 2004. Gone are the days when you could use the side entrance and sneak a girl past the cigar store, which is closed now. I believe they're still guest friendly but don't want to navigate this crowd with a GoGo girl young enough to be my grand daughter, so I visited my massage girl, we took some selfies but she asked I not post them publicly. The last time I stayed at the Landmark, it was beginning to show its age. Not so at the JW, I thought the room was a very high standard. And I even had a view of Nana Plaza Their buffets were half price but I don't do buffets. On the second floor, the Manhattan Lounge had a nice happy hour I walked up Soi 11 for a burger, my old neighborhood The waitress remembers my order I went over to Fitzgeralds on Soi Nana for breakfast. Also tried the Fish & Chips there (haddock) but was disappointed. The crust was crispy enough but fillet was too small. Mushy peas were good, however. The scene was quiet in lower Sukhumvit, except for the lady that fell in the hole on Soi Arab Did some shopping at Siam. Bought some new glass for my camera and took a break with some iced fruit tea. On Tuesday, I went for Taco Tuesday at Slanted Taco on Soi 23. Buy a taco for 80++, get one free. I walked through Soi Cowboy in memorial to Bernard Trink. They have food vendors in the afternoon. Tacos were great, two shrimp (with a slice of avocado), and two sea bass (without the skin). Fresh mango margarita was 240++, chips and salsa were complimentary. At night, Nana Plaza very quiet. Over at Soi Cowboy, same, same. I entered Baccara around 11 and there were only two other customers. There's a superstar that is allowed to wear underwear now, doesn't have to show her pussy anymore. Bummer. She was one of the ones that only went with Asians, just ignored me for seven years, wouldn't give me the time of day. I hold no animosity and now I'm about the only game in town, so I bought her a few lady drinks to sit on me lap and grind. She massaged my shoulders and neck, my crotch, I can see why the Japanese like her, and she's gorgeous, but I had too much drink for bar fine. She'll be a priority on my next visit, and I won't be drinking at all that night. This week, I came for Poompui.😍 Went to Monsoon on Soi 8 afterward, they've moved half a block, to the corner where you turn to go to Lolitas, second subsoi. Here's the soft shell crab salad. Hope you enjoyed my report. Cheers
  2. 17 points
    With bars reopening, I made the trip to check out the scene. Once again, stayed at the Rembrandt Suites Hotel, great value at 1050 per night for a 4-star hotel. Asked for a higher floor this time. Over to the basement at Robinson's for a bite of oyster omelette, 60 baht. Dessert upstairs at McDonalds, never saw the place so empty at 6 PM A brief stop at Terminal 21 The Asoke Intersection at 7 PM Needed to freshen up after the bus ride. Could have showered at the hotel, but I don't come to town just to bathe myself, so I hopped the MRT over to Ratchadaphisek Road. Back to Sukhumvit, and Soi Cowboy was nearly empty. Baccara had 80 girls with 8 customers, can't see how they can sustain it for long. I stayed 2 hours and seven Hoegaardens but I expect they'll be shutting down the upstairs soon. After Baccara I went next door to Sharks. Really like the unisex restrooms, usually some girls doing their hair you can talk to while taking a whizz. Finished the evening at Crazy House. Breakfast at Chu's, the berry pancakes were a major disappointment. The 'maple' syrup was awful, should call it sugar syrup with barely a hint of maple. When I was a kid my grandpa would visit from Ste. Sault Marie, Michigan and bring a gallon of pure maple syrup. An Imperial gallon no less, so we got an extra quart! That was awesome. Next day I went back to the smoked salmon eggs benedict, served over buttermilk biscuits, better way to start the day. Headed over to the clinic for my monthly Vitamin B-12 injection. Asked if they could mix in some Lysol to fight the covid, as suggested by President Trump, but they won't poison customers. Benchasiri Park A brief break at Em Quarter Next was my Photoshoot with a Thai Playboy Bunny I had a craving for a burger before going home, so I headed over to my old stomping grounds, Soi 11, which was empty. Supposedly, the best burger in town is at El Gaucho Argentinian Steakhouse, but I can't justify spending 750 baht for a burger. A little further up, at 'the T', Dainiel Taiger has the best affordable burger in town. There's no blue cheese on this burger, only cheddar, so I ordered a Rochefort ten percenter as an accompaniment. Those Trappist Monks know how to whip up a powerful elixir. 646 baht for the pair, and it was a mighty tasty burger!
  3. 17 points
    We will be open again from 10 am to 12 midnight from Wednesday 1 July. The staff have been busy these last few days getting everything clean and ready to go. It is amazing how many things deteriorated or just broke over the three months we were closed. However everything appears good now and we are keen to get back into it. I have no idea if we can survive and I'm expecting a hard time to even break even with no tourists in town and Cov19 fears still very much on everyone's mind. We are going to give it our best shot though. I do believe the Beer Garden will be a safe venue with ocean on three sides and a nice sea breeze to blow that nasty virus away. Amazingly our liquor supplier agreed to take back old stock beer and replace it with new stock. Still can't quite believe that happened. So break out from that lock-down and come and enjoy yourself at the Pattaya Beer Garden. Feel free to pass on the invite to others on different websites or Facebook. I know there was some speculation here and elsewhere that we would never re-open. It was all fake news 🙂 555 .
  4. 16 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, and core coon crap for joining us in the arduous task of trying to find something to talk about when there’s bugger all going on. Roll on July 1 so we can start moaning again. Holidaymakers are respectfully reminded that even though coronavirus restrictions are being eased, social distancing measures must still be strictly followed. In order to ensure compliance, patrons of bars should be aware that they will only be allowed to take girls back to their rooms if they are accompanied by a police officer. To help facilitate this, larger beds are being installed in all hotel rooms to enable a police officer in full protective gear to situate himself between the customer and his barfine to ensure that social distancing is observed at all times. Customers will of course be expected to pay the hotel a joiner fee for the officer as well as his wages for the duration of the encounter. Other than this, everything will be as normal. Enjoy your holiday. A fire broke out at the entrance to Walking Street recently after a truck driver who’d forgotten to lower his onboard crane hit the overhead power cables. Several business premises were damaged and traffic was disrupted while the fire was brought under control. The truck driver claimed he wasn’t aware of the cables as he thought they were all buried underground, a fate he may well be sharing with them if the aggrieved business owners get their hands on him. In an unrelated incident, a Thai chappie was blown to buggery when a transformer exploded on Walking Street as he was passing by. Let’s face it, if a chart was compiled of the most likely ways to die in Pattaya, coronavirus probably wouldn’t make the top 100. If you take a girl from Beach Road, beware. You might end up with a starfish… Following last month’s stories about mask wearing rules in Pattaya, another news item came to light about a man who attempted to rob a gold shop but the saleswoman wouldn’t let him in because he wasn’t wearing a mask. So now shopkeepers wear masks but robbers don’t. The world’s gone stark raving mad. As part of the lockdown easement in Pattaya, the authorities are now considering allowing live music venues to reopen. When asked about social distancing, a spokesman said “No problem. We’re telling them they can only reopen if they promise not to let any customers in.” Local officials have been carrying out inspections after reports that, in order to reopen, some bars have been masquerading as restaurants, though they do acknowledge that Pattaya traditionally has a much bigger problem with restaurants masquerading as restaurants. The Thai armed forces are doing their bit for diversity by announcing a switch to LGBT mines… Very little bar news as one would expect, and none of it good. It looks like Happy won’t be reopening and Rich is up for sale. Sapphire A Go Go is amazingly 10 years old this month. No sign of a party though. Miserable bastards. Perhaps it’s also worth mentioning that the last of the 22 proposed new rules for reopening bars states “Do not allow service staff, hostesses or PR to drink with customers.” This basically means you can buy a girl a lady drink but she won’t sit with you, she’ll just gulp it down and piss off somewhere else. Not much retraining required there then. A sailor from Pattaya recently made a complaint to the police that someone had been using his photo on Facebook to con people out of money in exchange for fake merchandise. However, the police said they didn’t believe the photo was of him and threw him in the cells for impersonating a member of the armed forces and for wasting police time. When asked why they’d done this, they said “Well we’ve had a quiet week.” Time to reminisce about virus-free days now with a pair of ripping yarns from Monkeywatch in June 2010... “Pattaya’s most successful comedy act, the Child and Women Protection Unit, were at it again last Wednesday when they were involved in the arrest of a Thai bloke for possession of porno DVDs that were later found to feature only men. So no women or children then. Silly buggers. In the same vein, so to speak, the local Anti Human Trafficking division arrested two stallholders for selling pirated DVD copies of popular Western and Thai cinema movies. Perhaps someone needs to explain ‘human trafficking’ to them again.” For those of you unable to visit Pattaya due to the pandemic, here’s a recent photo of Walking Street at midnight… A chap was taken to Pattaya hospital the other day after he’d sustained several injuries in a fall and was unable to stand up. Typical pissed up farang you might think, but no, he was in fact a Thai bloke who’d fallen off his bicycle. A hospital spokesman said “We were all surprised when he arrived. We were expecting a pissed up farang.” Thai doctors have warned that people run the risk of serious infection or even death by following the trend of wearing “fashion braces.” Since the warning was announced, a number of Thai men have been observed walking around with their trousers round their ankles. Finally, lovers of haute cuisine will no doubt be pleased to hear that Kiss Food and Drink has reopened with an offer of chicken with chilli and basil, a fried egg, rice and a bottle of water, all for 29 baht. When asked for his opinion on the offer, a local expat said “I think we should boycott the place to discourage this kind of profiteering.” be seeing you monkeyman
  5. 15 points
    Greeting Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for dropping by, and welcome to this month’s dive into the crystal clear waters of Pattaya (more about that later.) Walking Street has been redubbed Driving Street following the introduction of a new temporary rule allowing vehicles to use it at all times. Anyone now caught walking there will be cautioned by police and if found to be drunk may face a walking ban of up to a year. Closing times look set to remain at midnight so bars will be forced to keep sending their customer(s) home early for the foreseeable future. FFS, the infection rate is zero – how low do they want it to get? A Thai snack vendor whose business folded during the lockdown is now making a living salvaging stuff from garbage bins – which he then sells back to snack vendors. If you visit Nong Nooch, be sure not to miss “The Testicles of Rama”, a revered Thai monument that legend says was on the shortlist for the Seven Wonders of the World but came ninth. The Thai government have yet again started wittering on about getting “high-end tourists” back into Thailand. One can therefore assume from this that they consider Thailand to be a high-end tourist destination. Perhaps they need someone to explain to them why it isn’t. Basically, high-end tourists tend to head for destinations where they won’t be bitten by stray dogs, have their pockets picked by poofs in dresses, risk falling into bottomless pits in the roads and walkways, find beaches covered in raw sewage and waste plastic, have to breathe air with more pollution than a septic tank, be bombarded with fake goods, have to bribe police to get off trumped-up charges, be accosted by women who turn out to be men, get served watered down drinks in bars, be told by the government that they don’t shower often enough, have the shit kicked out of them by doormen who’ve mistaken them for someone else, be vomited on by drunks, be sat on by elephantine women trying to get them to spend 200 baht on a thimbleful of coloured water, have the contents of their hotel safes pilfered and their credit cards cloned by the staff, and be ripped off by taxi drivers and jet ski owners. They also don’t want their top of the range smartphones smashed over their heads because they pointed them at a go go bar for more than half a second, beaches that wash away overnight, to be the targets of drive-by bag snatchers, poisoned by so-called restaurants serving food that’s worse than you’d get in the average prison, blown to buggery by exploding transformers or electrocuted by hanging cables, shot dead in the crossfire of warring gangs, mown down by drunk drivers or drowned on a sinking ferry boat overloaded with Chinese tourists, and end up going home with nothing but empty wallets and a cocktail of chlamydia, Covid-19 and clap. High-end tourists? Dream on. A couple of Soi dogs had to be rescued a couple of weeks ago after they somehow managed to fall into a sewer. Interred in turd, so to speak. One positive thing to come out of the pandemic is the quality of the water by Pattaya Beach, which is now so clean that you can clearly see all the garbage on the sea bed, not to mention all the fish swimming around rather than floating on the surface. Strange times indeed. Pattaya has always had its share of nice spots to visit… Bar news time, and there’s a few comings and goings to report. Paradise and Kink have reopened on LK Metro and Dolls has opened up on Walking Street. Bliss and Bachelor have also reopened on a part-time basis. Far East Rock closed down but then reappeared a few days later. Party Girlz put up adverts for their reopening – then took them down again. And Baby Boom has reportedly had a change of policy and is employing female girls again. A new go go called Moon Light has opened. If you want to check the place out, head for nowhere and you’ll find it right in the middle. A pissed-up Thai bloke crashed his motorbike the other weekend when he tried to pull over to take a leak. In a statement to police, the man said he crashed after being blinded by a shower of urine from his mate on the bike in front who’d elected to take a piss without stopping his bike first. A history lesson for the noobs now with a look back to a couple of snippets from Monkeywatch in August 2010… “The boys in brown carried out yet another raid on Sunee Plaza last weekend, the target this time being the “Nice Boys Go Go Bar”. Reports said that everyone in the bar was urine tested and 13 employees were found to be under the age of 18. It’s amazing what they can find out from urine tests, isn’t it? The Wednesday before last, Pattaya City Hall hosted a meeting for government employees who have volunteered to join a Public Health Ministry sponsored weight loss program. The scheme has officially been called “Bye-Bye Fatty” after employees were asked to choose what they thought to be the most appropriate name. This wasn’t actually the name that got the most votes, but officials felt that “Fuck Off Lard Ass” might potentially stigmatise the participants.” Pattaya continues to maintain its stock of luxury accommodation in anticipation of the return of its traditional quality tourists… A new cafe has opened near Pattaya where tourists can sit and drink coffee while looking at elephants. The manager explained that The Mong Chang Café was the ideal place to go and observe an endangered species at first hand, though some attendees seemed to be unsure as to whether he was referring to the elephants or the tourists. A bloke in East Pattaya has been arrested for rape following an incident late last week. The victim said she didn’t realised she’d been raped until she went shopping and discovered that the man had paid her with forged banknotes. Finally, it’s been announced that Pattaya is to spend 160 million baht on landscaping the beach to attract local tourists. Wow, a million baht per tourist? Now that’s serious money. be seeing you monkeyman
  6. 15 points
    I had two photo shoots lined up for this visit. The Thais call them trips, so I had two trips this trip. Had the Reuben sandwich at Bourbon Street, after arrival at Ekkami. You see two, but I only ordered one. Definitely not local beef, tender not, but didn't particularly care for the sauerkraut. Of course, this place specializes in Cajun and Mexican, what do they know about sauerkraut? Didn't touch the fries and there was no room for dessert. With an Irish Coffee, about 560 baht. Assigned the 30th floor at the Rembrandt Suites this time, booked 3 nights for 3150 total, excluding breakfast. Anxious to head over to Soi Cowboy, stopped for a cappuccino at Artis on corner Soi 18. Soi Cowboy, again very few customers. The "Arab's" bars closed, as before, as were the ladyboy bars, but I don't visit those anyway. Dollhouse was also closed, however, and Tilac only open outside. In all, I visited Baccara, Crazy House, Crazy Corner, Sharks, Lighthouse, and Cowboy 2 (I think). Next day, lunch at Terminal 21 Fuji Walk down lower Sukhumvit, very peaceful. There were a few freelancers but not many. Soi 7 Soi 5 Soi Arab, i.e Soi 3/1 There's a new place on Soi 13 called the Red Lion, just opened this month. Does good business with expats because of the low prices. Time for my trip, not a Playboy model but busty Later, over to Patpong (didn't visit Nana Plaza this time). Hooters Silom has closed. Took a walk down Soi Thaiya (Little Tokyo), until someone told me "No Photo", even with my cell phone camera. Finally, over to Patpong I and Patpong II, King's Castle I and King's Castle II were having their re-openings. There's also a Kings Castle (without any roman numerals), used to be a ladyboy bar, don't know if it still is. There was no night market, first time I've seen it without one. I was the first customer at King's Castle I, at 7:20 PM. Counted 25 girls on the dance floor, others just arriving. A dozen girls next door at King's Castle II, and 5 customers, mostly farang, one kept tossing crumbled 20 baht notes onto the stage, which really livened things up. 5 or 6 at a time, did it 8 or 9 times. I was the first customer for both bars reopening. Le Bouchon still good for a fine meal, just a few doors from the Star of Light, world famous BJ bar. Mostly boy bars now between Le Bouchon and Pink Panther on the corner at Surawong. Pink Panther has been there for ages, I recall visiting on my first trip to Bangkok in 1992. They feature Thai boxing at 11 PM, I make sure I'm out before then because I'm only interested in the girls. The waitress knows that I always order Long Island Iced Tea and I never have to tell her my drink order. Towards the Silom end of Patpong 2, visited XXX Lounge, used to be a steakhouse and Club Electric Blue before that. More Fuji, salmon steak set with hot saki Playboy Bunny Kanan, as promised, she defines narak. In fact, she's even more cute than the Rhino Tusk! Before heading home, went over to Poseidon Entertainment Plaza, the world's greatest soapy massage parlor. Karaoke and first floor restaurant were closed. Fishbowl was on the second floor, as usual, and they moved the Model Lounge there as well. The Model Lounge used to be on the third floor with girls in evening gowns while the band played soft music. Floors 4 through 8 are suites, and some quite immaculate if you're willing to pay the extra cost. There was no band this evening, but the fishbowl had 15 girls and about 20 girls on The Couch in the Model Lounge, with prices ranging from 4500 to 7200, including the 1000 baht farang surcharge. The mamasan has been the same in the 12 years I've been going there, and she remembers me even though I haven't been there for 18 months, because they don't have a lot or farang customers. The girls are known for their service beyond fucking, but they're good at that too. I heard somewhere this pleasure palace was owned by the father of the Ministry of Commerce. What a country! Hard to say how much the pandemic has affected their business but it was Saturday night and I didn't see another customer. Usually groups of Japanese and Korean businessmen hanging out while the mamasan comes around to introduce some girls. I saw one girl from the fishbowl return to her seat, but maybe she was returning from the ladies room? I chose a girl recommended by the mamasan, not from the referral but because I thought she was the prettiest. She was 27, Bangkok born, and spoke excellent English. She said she'd been working at Poseidon for a year, I guessed she worked in customer service somewhere before. She said the mamasan had instructed her to give me the VIP service, whatever that is. I took some photos of her but she asked that I not post them on the internet. I was surprised she started with a BBBJ on the bed, I'd only had one once before at Poseidon, I expect covered BJ at an exclusive place like this. Reverse cowgirl and other positions, I was surprised to get sex before bathing but wasn't about to complain. She gave a body massage in the tub, her breasts weren't large but natural, just what I like. She kept playing with my dick and said she wanted to fuck some more. I've only had single shot sessions at Poseidon before and this wasn't what I expected. Regrettably, I had to decline her offer as I was exhausted from being on my feet all day and wasn't up for a second round, so she shampooed my hair and washed my face, then gave me a nice massage on the bed. Overall, it was as pleasant a 90 minutes I've had in Thailand, or anywhere else for that matter. She gave me her line and asked to keep in touch and come visit again next time in Bangkok. I'm now three months removed from surgery and thinking about hitting the exercise bike to build up my legs for the next visit. I had a very relaxing bus ride home after this wonderful experience. https://www.poseidon2000.com/index.asp
  7. 15 points
    Last week I came to town for the Auto Show, this week for a shoot with a Thai Playboy Bunny. Arrived Ekkami and over to Gateway Mall. Walked up Ekkami for lunch at Bourbon Street. Had Reuben Sandwich on my mind but knew I wouldn't have room for pecan pie so changed to a mushroom Swiss cheese burger. 1/3 pound patty of Australian Angus beef, with an Irish Coffee. Hardly touched the fries. They serve two variations of Pecan Pie, Maple and Georgia-style. Never tried the Georgia-style because I love maple syrup, and it still came with two scoops of peach ice cream. Total damage 948 baht for a burger, pecan pie, and two Irish Coffees. Stayed at the Rembrandt Suites hotel again, 1050 baht this time, same room as the other two times this month. Check in was a breeze because they had my passport info from last week and they even waived the deposit. "We know you", the front desk told me, and they're guest friendly. Registered 3 kg overweight on the in-room scale, need to lay off those burgers! Over to Soi Cowboy, quite a few changes from last week. Baccara has shut off the upstairs, for 45 minutes I was the only customer, but it was early. I usually drink Hoegaarden there, the name screams Baccara, but they were offering Heineken bottles for only 90 baht. In fact, all bars except Crazy House were offering 90 baht drinks all night (100 at Lighthouse). Suzy Wongs ran a special where you received a free drink for buying a lady drink, and they still only had 3 customers. Crazy House had 5 customers. The girls are hungry! Things were also quiet outside Thermae Coffeeshop. Stopped at Art Box, at least they had some music. Dead at Soi Nana, and very few freelancers hanging around. I visited Billboard, Butterflies, Rainbow 4 (formerly Rainbow 5), and Rainbow 5 (formerly Twisters). Everywhere I went, girls were all over me. End of the day I bar fined the hottest girl I could find, only a few thousand to choose from. Next day was my photoshoot with Donut, I don't think she eats many. Still had the Kamegra in my system so I had a boner all afternoon. Finally, stopped at the Thai Terrace at Terminal 21 for some Khao Soi before heading home. Had a great time but spent way too much, I need another stimulus check. I can't support the bar industry all myself but am willing to do my part. 😊 Cheers
  8. 14 points
    Yes, The Pattaya Beer Garden will close again (temporarily), with Tuesday 29 September being the last day for the public. We gave it our best shot, after reopening following the initial Covid closure. We have tried now for 3 months but never looked even close to breaking even let alone making a profit. I have been subsidizing the losses to try and keep the jobs going but if I keep doing it I will soon be broke. Our lease came up for renewal during all this and we have signed up for a further 3 years. As soon as the business looks even remotely viable again we will reopen. We have an internet group subscribed by all staff so it is easy to keep in touch and simple to bring them all back again. Thanks to everyone who visited during these trying times. As soon as we decide to open again I will announce it here.
  9. 12 points
    I lived in lower Sukhumvit for seven years, until early this year. Hadn't been back for four months. It's a bit different, first things you notice now is the uncongestion and the clean air. There's social distancing everywhere, in the malls and restaurants. I always felt cramped living here because things were sized for Thais, but now I can enjoy my space. Even had a free seat next to me on the bus coming in and out of town and didn't have to pay for it. Gateway Mall I booked the Rembrandt Hotel on Soi 18 for half the regular price, there are some excellent domestic travel deals now, it's a 4-star hotel. They closed down the Rembrandt but put me in the Rembrandt Suites Hotel next door, facing Soi 20, it's newer and the price was less than the Nana Hotel. Hardly any guests were present. An exercise room but I had surgery last month and it's too soon to start working out, would be easy to rupture a tendon after all the antibiotics. Didn't stop me from taking a dip in the pool since they repaired my hernias. Perhapes I'll start weight lifting again in another 6 months or so, if I wish to turn my abdominal wall into swiss cheese again. The hotel had a breakfast buffet for 473 baht, but for the same price I walked over to Chu's at the Exchange Tower for a Norwegian Scramble with a cappuccino. The scramble featured smoked salmon on sourdough toast and the coffee included a small chocolate disk with Chu's stamped into it. I hadn't stayed on Soi 20 since 2003, then at the Windsor Suites, recently closed. At that time I would eat at the German restaurant Bei Otto, so I stopped there for breakfast, the farmers breakfast for 295. I had lunch at nearby Terminal 21, steamed crab in black pepper at the Thai Terrace restaurant I also had lunch in the food court, duck with sesame noodles for 40 baht. The biggest change I saw in the 'hood was the extension of the BTS sky walk at Asoke, now all the way to the Sofitel Hotel, with the Art Box on the south side. If they extend it another half-block, to the Hyatt Regency, you'll be able to take the sky walk between the Asoke and Nana BTS stations. Amazing how uncrowded Sukhumvit was in the mid afternoon on a weekday, here at the Asoke intersection. The first order of business was a haircut, it had been four months, so visited my regular barber on Soi 23. Crazy House was 'open', in a sense. Airing it out for an anticipated re-opening on Wednesday, I guess. Soi Cowboy had the usual food vendors in the afternoon. I visited my regular massage girl, she's talented and pretty but too shy for a photo, and headed over to the Art Box for dinner. Most places were closed and attendance was sparse, but I managed a small chicken burrito with a bottle of water at the Margarita Storm kiosk for 200, and Axe throwing was still in progress, but no bands were performing. Light traffic on Sukhumvit for an early evening Over on Soi 11 it was even more empty, quite a contrast to the days with the VW cocktail buses when every night was a block party. This was at 8:30 PM and nearly deserted. They've now opened a 24 hour Taco Bell to compete with Margarita Storm, just a block from where I used to live. I ordered Beef Taco Supremes for 208 baht, not cheap, and I had to pay 60 baht extra for the beef, with was runny. I should have stayed with the chicken, the best things were the sour cream and crunchy shells. If you consider Taco Bell as Mexican food, that's 9 Mexican restaurants within a kilometer, 10 if you include the Margarita Storm kiosk at the Art Box. The others: Mexicano at the Rembrandt, Soi 20 Margarita Storm, Soi 13 Slanted Taco, Soi 23 The Mexican, next to formerly Annies Massage on Soi 2 Tacos & Salsa, Soi 18 Sunrise Taco, Terminal 21 Cali-Mex Bar & Grill, Soi 11 La Monita Taqueria, Mahatun Plaza I lived in California long time, so enjoy Mexican. The Ambassador, looks like only three floors populated in the tower at right. The string of massage shops that used to be in the alley leading to Soi 13 have been replaced by restaurants. Ole German Beerhaus on Soi 13 but without many customers On the third and last day it was time for my photo shoot with Ammy Then, over to Soi 8 for dinner at Monsoon, this was as far west I went, never made it to Soi Nana, and Lolitas BJ off Soi 8 was closed. Had some Penne Seafood Pasta with a blueberry shake for 480. The Monsoon also serves Mexican, BTW, I've tried their taco salad. One of my favorite restaurants in lower Sukhumvit, good fusion food and not expensive. A very relaxing three days and two nights, and now it's time to head home. I'll be back next month when Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza re-open.
  10. 12 points
    Just a few pics from town today... Beach Rd end of Klang about midday. Showing how quiet it is, but far from the deserted images from the European major cities. Klang towards the beach. Beach Road looking South. The Beach looking South. The Beach looking North. The much changed exchange rates, Soi 7 Soi 8
  11. 11 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for dropping in, and welcome to this month’s look at the shenanigans in Patts, where things are carrying on as normal. Okay, so there are no bars, no Go Go’s, no restaurants, no girls, no alcohol and no going outside your house most of the time, but apart from that it’s business as usual. Well, the Pattaya curfew is well and truly in place and the police have said that anybody breaking it will face a prison sentence, though given the extent of the current lockdown that’s not really much of a deterrent. In fact, the lockdown in Pattaya is now so extreme that prisoners are being threatened with release if they don’t behave. At least they get fed in prison. Probably. Thais who aren’t getting fed are being helped out by food charity events. However, the organisers have recently been told that they must tell the police in advance before any events can be staged. Coincidentally, all the latest events seem to have police officers at the front of the queue. As if things weren’t bad enough, the alcohol sales ban in Pattaya has now been in place for two weeks and has yet another week to go. Thais are starting to ask why they’re being punished for this fiasco and wouldn’t it be better if someone just nuked some common sense into the Chinese. Drinking outside is also banned, though we reckon the police took this a bit too far when they arrested a Thai bloke who got pissed and fell out of his window with a bottle of whisky in his hand. If you’re still thinking of trying to visit Pattaya by some means, be sure to pack a shovel as the only way you’ll get in is to dig a tunnel. If you’re in Pattaya already, a member of the escape committee has informed us that three secret tunnels are currently under construction - Tom, Dick and Harry. A Thai girl said she’d found Dick in her bar but it turned out that she was talking about something else altogether. The authorities seem to have caught on already and have started to put up signs to discourage tunnelling… Thais make all this bloody fuss about us farangs wearing face masks, but their own are usually so badly fitted they may as well be wearing them on their arses. Come to think of it, they’d probably do more good if they did. Pattaya’s Grand Bella Hotel has volunteered to become a field hospital to help in the battle against the nasty bug. Very commendable of course, but one suspects they won’t be inundated with bookings when things return to normal – whatever that is. There’s even been some wild stories of people with the virus coming back from the dead as zombies, though it seems that they were actually Chinese tourists who hadn’t caught it at all. Looking at this, one wishes we could go back to how things were only last year. Oh, hang on, this photo was taken six months ago… Bar news now. They’re all shut – except the ones that aren’t. Sorry officer, didn’t see a thing. Local Thai residents have formed groups called ‘Covid Killers’ to help fight the outbreak in their localities. Don’t fancy their chances of success as the equipment they’ve been issued with appears to consist of a magnifying glass and a hammer. Time to step away from the madness for a moment with couple of ancient tales from Monkeywatch in April 2010… “Meanies in the Thai Government have decided to increase the tax on alcohol this month to discourage all you naughty boys from getting too pissed during Songkran. The increase will be 20 baht per 100ml for drinks containing up to 12 per cent alcohol and 40 baht for anything stronger, so only use bars that water down the drinks. That shouldn’t limit your choice too much. There’s also been some outrageous talk of a further 20 baht tax on drinks sold to foreigners in bars. Perhaps someone should remind them that they’re the bloody foreigners. Last Thursday, the Mayor of Pattaya received a gift of 50 cardboard coffins that are apparently for the use of foreigners. Good idea. All they have to do now is put them under hotel balconies and wait.” Not a name that inspires confidence… The Thai Ministry of Commence has asked shops to cut the price of palm oil by two baht per bottle. Well how about that - they’ve come up with a lockdown exit strategy already. A warehouse in Banglamung burned to the ground a couple of weeks back in a huge fire that could be seen for miles. A large crowd gathered to witness the event, which was described by one onlooker as “the nearest thing to entertainment we’ve seen this month.” When this pandemic thingy is all over and done, Hollywood will no doubt be looking to cash in with a movie version of the whole debacle. Maybe they could call it “Wuhan Flu Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.” be seeing you monkeyman
  12. 11 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers and core coon crap for joining us once again, though you probably haven’t got much else to do at the moment. Ho hum. Predictably, the Kung Flu is still dominating the news in Pattaya. City Hall has announced that pretty much everything has been cancelled for the next six months, including Songkran, the Pattaya Music Festival and the Beach Road Frog Trampling Contest. A long list of cancelled events has been published, though most people don’t seem to have been aware that most of these events existed in the first place. As Joni Mitchell once said, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. And you probably don’t give a monkey’s bollock (she didn’t say that bit.) If that wasn’t enough, it was announced that tourists arriving from certain countries would be asked to quarantine themselves for 14 days. Not much fun if you’ve come to Thailand for a fortnight’s holiday. Though there’s not much chance of that for a while. There’s been some controversy over farangs not wearing masks in Thailand during the current outbreak. Thais seem to be of the opinion that foreigners should be respectful of their culture at this time. So you’ve been told. Wear a mask, eat lots of bugs and drive at 100 mph while pissed out of your mind. Pattaya hotels are refurbishing their rooms in anticipation of the return of the Chinese tourists. Here’s one they’ve just finished… A Chinese chap who’d been to visit Pattaya with a tour group was later found tied up and bundled into a suitcase that had been chucked into the sea. The cause of death hasn’t yet been established though police say they haven’t ruled out suicide. Makes you wonder what they have ruled out. The Health Minister got himself into a spot of hot water after pontificating that Europeans were dirty, didn’t take showers and brought coronavirus to Thailand while fleeing the disease in their own countries. So nothing to do with the Chinese then. Doesn’t come as any surprise really. It’s generally accepted that the Thais don’t like Westerners. Or Russians. Or Chinese. Or Indians. Come to think of it, they don’t seem to like each other too much. Let’s face it, they can’t abide anybody. Welcome to the Land of Smiles. Not content with his previous rant, the minister is now trying to get all the bars, restaurants and nightclubs to stay shut at least until Hell freezes over. Talk about kicking a country when it’s down. We hereby nominated him for the 2020 “Biggest Tosspot Since Purachai Award.” In more enlightened times this man would have been burned at the stake. Pattaya is already preparing to welcome the return of the Chinese tourists with a traditional Thai noose party… Bar news time, and even before the current shutdown it was all all doom and gloom with multiple closures, including three long-established names. Living Dolls Showcase, Heaven Above, Rich, Runway and Club Nevada have all bitten the dust in the last month. At this rate there won’t be any Go Go bars left in Pattaya by the summer, though it probably won’t matter because there won’t be any tourists either. A Thai bloke has been arrested for murder after killing his neighbour because he wouldn’t give him a cigarette. He apparently offed the poor fellow by beating him to death with a pipe. Must have been a bloody big pipe, like that one Sherlock Holmes used to smoke. Actually, if he had a pipe, why did he need a cigarette anyway? Silly bugger. Let’s take a magic carpet ride back to pre-virus days now with a peek at a trio of stories from Monkeywatch in March 2010… “Remember Naklua opening its own version of Walking Street that was going to give Pattaya a whole new image? Well, it’s closed down already. Just more proof if it were needed that social engineering in Pattaya is about as feasible as knitting fog. A worker was rushed to hospital the other week after suffering severe burns in the Nong Pla Lai district while erecting a neon sign outside a convenience store. Locals are referring to the incident as “the tragic events of 7/11”. Seventy people convicted of drunk driving offences have each been sentenced to six hours community service - presumably as baht bus drivers until they sober up.” Post–lockdown civil disorder has already begun in Pattaya with the murder of this wheelie bin… In order to increase demand for rubber, the Rubber Authority of Thailand is to use the substance for manufacturing anatomical models. Funny, thought those things were banned. As soon as the entertainment venues in Pattaya were closed down, there was a mass stampede of temporarily displaced staff to Koh Larn where they all ended up standing shoulder to shoulder like a very big tin of sardines. It would seem that the local government’s social distancing policy needs a spot of tweaking. However, they decided not to bother and just shut the island down completely. So having lost the Chinese and Indian tourists, they’ve now got rid of the Thais as well. Think they might have to adjust their 2020 tourism predictions down a tad. And to finish as we started on a Kung Flu story, all visitors to Thailand (if there are any) must now download an app that will allow the authorities to track them wherever they go. So presumably not owning a mobile phone means you’ll get deported. A bit harsh maybe, but very reminiscent of the British schoolmaster who used to invite some of the younger boys round to his house to see his new state-of-the-art tape recorder. Then the headmaster found out that he didn’t own a tape recorder and he was sent to prison. I mean, what kind of a society is it where a man can be jailed just because he doesn’t own a tape recorder? be seeing you monkeyman
  13. 10 points
    Another quick visit, arrive Ekkami Bus Station, near Gateway Mall Over to Bourbon Street for a mushroom swiss burger, with Irish Coffee Room 291 at Rembrandt Suites, my home away from home. Booked three nights for total 2840 Stop at Artis for coffee again, corner of Soi 18, across from Lexus Raumchitt Plaza (aka "Room Shit" Plaza), above Thermae Coffeeshop, got a facelift Art Box at Chuvit Garden closed, last day Aug 31st. A real bummer, I really enjoyed spending a lot of time there. I understand a new mall will be taking it's place. There's finally someone home at Q House, I was wondering. Has a very prestigious address: 1 Sukhumvit. No kidding, that's the address. Hope you get more than a studio condo for 147 million baht. Nana Intersection Soi Nana, very quiet, but it's only 8:00 PM There's even a customer in Hooters! Everyone has to be screened entering the Plaza, customers and staff Don't toss your butts off the balcony! I was the first customer in Butterflies, and counted 42 girls on the three stages. Next day, I hung around Siam Square but didn't buy anything. Checking out the new 70-200 mm Nikkor lens, found one shop that had it but they wanted 82,000. Ouch! BTW, Sony wants 90,000 for their version, guess I'll stay with my legacy super zooms for a while. Suddenly, there are Taco Bell's all over. On Soi 11, in the basement of Siam Paragon, this one at MBK. They had a promo, buy any combo and get a free naked chicken taco. A curved piece of spicy chicken serves as the taco shell. I've never heard of this. The staff had to wear hats that looked like a naked chicken taco. I felt sorry for them, reminded me of Brad from Fast Times At Redgemont High. Erawan Shrine, just behind where the bomber sat La Monitas is my favorite place for Mexican in Thailand. I especially like the steak burritos, made with New Zealand Rib Eye. This was in the basement at Siam Paragon, where they charge 75 baht extra for guacamole, it's included when you visit their restaurant in the Mahatun Plaza on Ploenchit Road. I didn't buy the Harley either, can't afford it. But this is my Biker Slut, Bunny Zudeau. She's Hot and Bootylicious! Terminal 21 Tom Yum Goong at Savoey Seafood, you can see Soi Cowboy from the table Great Views And Soi Cowboy was very quite too That's all, folks!
  14. 10 points
    Due to COVID, I decided to set up a dedicated YouTube channel for the Cherry Bar. On this channel, I will uploading all my old videos of the Cherry Bar and of bars from around town. Once the girls are allowed to dance again in the bars again, I will be uploading regular NEW videos from around town and of course from the Cherry Bar. If you like the channel, please Subscribe. Thank You. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzvY0qdBGgE&feature=youtu.be
  15. 9 points
    Back on topic I needed a new laptop, so headed to the Apple store at massive IconSiam mall, the first Apple store in Thailand. There's a free shuttle boat at Sathorn Pier, BTS Saphan Taksin. The journey takes 5 minutes, boats run every 20 minutes or so. Across the river from the mall is the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, rates start over 15,000/night. They have suites named after some of the famous writers that have been guests. They have the Gore Vidal suite, the Tennessee Williams suite, the Somerset Maughan suite, and best in the house is the Mark Twain suite. Others are named after Joseph Conrad, James Michener, and Norman Mailer. Hang out in the Bamboo Bar when the Rolling Stones are playing in town and you'll see Mick Jagger, because this is where they stay. You can see the Lebua at State Tower to the right, with the dome. They serve a special hangover 2 cocktail on the rooftop bar, inspired by the movie, since the hotel was a shooting location. IconSiam mall is over half million Square meters of retail space, it opened less than 2 years ago. Some impressive art work inside. Here's a statue made of hoses. Took a while to locate the Apple store. Also bought some vintage Levi's bluejeans in the Levi's store, as long as I was there. Finished the day with a seafood dinner with river prawns.
  16. 9 points
    Came to town to attend the Auto Show. Arrived at the Ekkamai Bus Station and stopped at Gateway Mall for lunch. Tried a pasta dish, a regrettable decision. It was supposed to be garlic mussels but the chef must have run out of garlic and substituted salt. 😡 Taste horrible. Stayed at Rembrandt Suites again, 29th floor, same room as two weeks ago. Only a few food vendors were around Soi Cowboy in the afternoon. I checked out the new beer bar area adjacent Soi 7 Beer Garden. One bar called Beers and Birds had a promotion, two Mojitos for 150, but made with SongSom instead of Baccardi. Fortunately, they were each made a double shot. Then over to Nana Plaza, first time for me since February, and the place was empty. Next day it was the Auto Show at Impact Challenger in Nonthaburi, with over 60,000 square meters, it's currently the worlds largest column-free hall. There's a nice restaurant where I like to dine called Champagne Bistro. Flann O'Brian's Irish Pub is at the ground level. Finished the evening at Soi Cowboy. Dinner at Slanted Taco on Soi 23 I'll be back next week for another Playboy Bunny shoot.
  17. 9 points
    Thought I make the most of the hot weather (without knowing that today was going to be the hottest day of the year so far) and take myself down to the River Thames for a walk. Started in Brentford, over Kew bridge and down the towpath, through Richmond to stop of for a few beers at work, and then carried down to Teddington where I called it a day and took the bus home! IMG_9783.MP4
  18. 9 points
    So quiet and social distancing in Big-CX. I believe this used to be an 'Erotic Massage' place on Soi Buakhao, perhaps recently mentioned by @tallguy it is no more. Also Nemo's on Buakhao still shut, didn't think to check the one on Soi Diana. Nearby traditional places open. The rate on the street today, a TT Exchange is open! Hellfire crossing, with many fewer casualties these days. Soi Pothole looking quiet to the East...... And the West.... A few minutes earlier I was told 'no customer, no have money, hungry......' Not sure if I covered this with my tip....... I would have got more pics but rain drove me to the Mall.
  19. 9 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to this month’s disease ridden edition. Masks on and off we go. The big story at the moment is of course the spreading of the Woohoo Flu to Thailand. The authorities have issued various guidelines in an attempt to keep holidaymakers safe, such as wear a mask, keep away from wild animals and if you see a Chinese tourist, shoot first and ask questions later. Pattaya Hospital has announced that is now fully equipped to deal with the virus – they’ve just received a consignment of coffins and body bags. The Thai government is considering extending Songkran this year to increase tourism. Would’ve thought that was the one thing guaranteed to decrease it. Refreshingly honest… A cheeky thief snatched the bag of a Chinese tourist who was standing right next to a police box in North Pattaya the other week. Police immediately set of in pursuit of the miscreant but were unable to apprehend him. When the officers returned they found that their police box had been stolen. Thieves in most places will steal anything that isn’t nailed down. In Pattaya they’ll steal it anyway and take the nails as well. A serial pickpocket has been arrested yet again, this time for picking the pocket of an Indian tourist. When asked what kind of person would choose an Indian tourist to pickpocket, the miscreant replied “Somebody who needs a new pocket.” Reminisce as we waft you back in time with a trio of memories from Monkeywatch in February 2010… “A Russian tourist was sliced in two by a speedboat the other Monday whilst swimming in a boating channel off the coast of Koh Larn. A police spokesman said they were still trying to locate the man’s other half, though it’s unclear at this stage whether or not they were referring to his wife. The other Monday, a street vendor staggered into Dongtan Police Station to report that he had been robbed at gunpoint while selling bags to tourists. A statement from the police said that this was a clear case of Bagman and Robbin’. A Norwegian bloke made a complaint to Pattaya Police the other week that 34,675 baht had gone missing from his hotel safety deposit box. He was immediately arrested for pedantry and placed on the sex offenders’ register.” City Hall was ordered to submit plans for a green transport initiative. This is what they came up with… A bit of bar news now, and Harem has reclosed, reopened and reclosed, whereas Party Girlz, not to be outdone, has reopened, reclosed, reopened again and reclosed again. Pulse has also just closed but this one looks to be more permanent. The Dark Knight rises on LK Metro with the opening of Rise, which uses the Batman logo in its sign. Perhaps they should’ve called it Even Newer Bat. Angel has closed too as the number of Go Go’s continues its steady decline. Black Snake Club, however, has been de-poofterized and is now a coyote bar avec girlies. Expect a closure soon. A local boat captain had a bit of a surprise earlier this month when he spotted what he had initially thought to be a dead dog in the water but was actually a dead deer. He said he’d no previous experience of dead deer though he’d heard that farangs often use the expression when visiting Go Go bars. Speaking of floaty dead things, a swarthy chap of indeterminate ethnicity has been found floating in Pattaya Bay with an 8 kilogram stone hanging round his neck. Police are running checks to see if any Elizabeth Taylor impersonators have been reported missing. Looks like at least one Chinese tour group has managed to get to Pattaya… Despite the massive drop in Chinese tourists, ferries are still running to Koh Larn, but the operators say they may not be able to keep running with the reduced passenger number as the boats are now only 50 percent overloaded. A man is being sought by police for threatening staff in a traditional Thai massage shop when the masseuse refused to give him a “happy ending”. The strange thing is that this wasn’t some dumb newbie tourist but actually a Thai dude. It’s one thing not understanding a foreign culture but not understanding your own? Silly bugger. Suppose we can’t close without mentioning the Brit bloke who had to call an ambulance after ripping the end of his dick off while shagging his hourly rental girlfriend in a particularly vigorous manner. Not so much a dickhead as a no dickhead. be seeing you monkeyman
  20. 9 points
    Update on the Beach Rd drainage project. Concrete drain forms in place and ready for use on the north end. Breaking up the existing pavement is now up to Soi 2. And digging commences at Soi 3. They've tied the trees to each other to keep the ones closest to the road from toppling over due to soil erosion. This is odd. Where's the connecting drain south of Soi 6. Gutters and pavement being poured just north of Klang intersection. Turned my camera to sea and what do I see. Only two parasailers in the air this morning. South of Klang, drain covers going in. Around Soi 8, gutter work is pretty much done. With the exception of a few places where drain access points are being worked on. Boardwalk across from Mike's Mall is looking very rough and on its last legs. South of Soi 12, only the curbs need to be installed. New curbs installed up to Royal Garden Plaza. If it were me, I would have installed curbs at least twice as high to keep more of the storm water from flowing onto the footpath. At the south end, work still needs to be done to connect to the pumping station. Anyone need a used IV bag. Quite the garbage pit on the south end. No way would I want to step on this access lid.
  21. 8 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for dropping in, and welcome to this month’s look at the latest non-events in Tumbleweed City. Well, it looked like Thailand was about to take its first cautious steps in allowing ‘tourists’ back in, though to gain admission you’d have had to be Japanese or Chinese and be prepared to undergo a 31 step administrative equivalent of a special forces assault course followed by two weeks solitary confinement. One wondered why they were giving preferential treatment to the odious little yellow bastards who caused this catastrophe in the first place, and we all hoped it was a trap. And yes, it was a trap alright. They suckered 300 Chinese tourists into paying upfront for 14 days at a quarantine hotel plus 90 days further accommodation and exorbitant visa fees then, just hours before the first arrivals were due, scrapped the whole thing and refused to refund any of their money due to an escape clause buried in the small print. Let’s hope the Covid-ridden little shitweasels get the message and stay away for good. Meanwhile, businesses in Pattaya are trying various cunning ploys to entice people into their premises. One well-known Indian restaurant is offering a free bottle of wine with every meal, though customers have commented that the contents of the bottle bear more than a passing resemblance to the water off Bali Hai Pier. One suspects that this isn’t entirely coincidental. This must be what they mean by a Covid bubble... Local government has been approached to reimburse a Rayong fisherman for the loss of his boat after it was allegedly sunk by a water spout while he was plying his trade. He’s claiming over 90,000 baht for the recovery and repair of his boat, though the recently recovered vessel looks like it wouldn’t have withstood a sustained attack from a water pistol, let alone a water spout. Those in the know have suggested he’s unlikely to come out of this with more than 500 baht and a kick up the arse (and he probably won’t get the 500 baht.) In another first for Pattaya, a plastic recycling plant has come up with a novel new way of recycling material by converting it into heat. Or to put it another way, the whole place burned to the ground. Well it’s a sort of recycling, innit? A mentally ill Thai man had to be rescued recently after climbing a telephone tower in Pattaya and refusing to come down. Hang on, this exact same thing happened a few months back with another Thai bloke who had mental health issues. So why do Thai nutters all make a beeline for phone towers then? Could the 5G conspiracy theorists be right after all? Wind back to pre-Covid days now with a trio of yarns from Monkeywatch in October 2010… “City Hall has been having a bit of a hissy fit about the large quantities of litter being strewn around the locality by tourists and business operators. They reckon it’s ruining the image of Pattaya’s beaches. That’s a little bit like ruining the image of a turd by dropping a cigarette butt onto it. The Health and Safety people have also been having a go, and last week called a meeting with Pattaya’s street food vendors following complaints from customers about hygiene standards. They cited a particular example of a Thai customer who was incensed after finding a grasshopper in his bag of cockroaches. A Pattaya pharmacist was arrested a couple of weeks ago after it was discovered that he was selling fake Viagra tablets to unsuspecting holidaymakers. He now faces a sentence of five years soft labour. People are still asking why they have to be careful what they post on boards about the goings-on in bars when it’s widely accepted that the boys in brown already know, so here’s a little reminder. It’s quite simple. You see, it’s one thing for them to know, but entirely another if we let them know that we know that they know, because once they know that we know that they know, then they know that they have to let the bar know that they know, or they know that those in the know will know that they know even though they’re pretending that they don’t know. So now you know.” To help pay for the pandemic, City Hall is selling off Pattaya Beach at 1000 baht per scoop. Don’t all rush at once… Bar news now, and it wasn’t a good start to the month with the closure of Pattaya Beer Garden, Glass House, Bliss and Far East Rock 2, but it’s not all doom and gloom. Baccara, Sensations, Lighthouse, Shark and Party Girlz have all reopened and Heaven Above looks set to open in its new location on Soi Boomerang (good street name for a bar trying to make a comeback.) There’s one thing about all this kung flu nonsense that might work to our advantage. When a vaccine does become available, a lot of us old buzzards should be at the front of the queue for an armful and could be back in action while the young whippersnappers are still queuing at the starting gate for their fix. Just think, we could all be the girls’ hansum young men again, at least for a while. That’s what it’s all about – getting a few in before the lights go out. A golf course cashier has been arrested after being caught using the stolen credit card of a Japanese customer. The thief was apprehended after making the mistake of using the card to buy regular sized condoms, a dead giveaway as these are of course several sizes bigger than those manufactured for the Japanese market. As the Japanese say, give them quarter of an inch and they’ll take a mile. Looks like Beach Road’s preparing for a visit from the mayor… Two local Pattaya women were pulled out of a pickup truck after it was found under a large tree following a heavy rainstorm. Police arrived on the scene shortly afterwards and proceeded to arrest the women for trying to steal the tree. When it was pointed out that the truck had been moving at the time of the incident, a police spokesman replied “These drive-by thefts are becoming more and more common. We’ve already had three handbags stolen this way since the beginning of the week.” In another tree story, a motorcyclist was killed the other day after hitting one at high speed on Jomtien Second Road. Witness statements say that the man wasn’t wearing a helmet, though this is subject to confirmation as the police haven’t found his head yet. And we can’t finish without mentioning that, as of five days ago, there are a grand total of 39 foreign tourists in Thailand. And they’re all Chinese. Happy days are here again. be seeing you monkeyman
  22. 8 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for another month, and welcome to another desperate attempt to wring a few stories out of the bugger all that’s going on in Patts these days. The Pattaya Music Festival is set to go ahead with social distancing measures in place, which are expected to be scrupulously observed by most of the public who say they plan to be as far away from the event as possible. Dodgy electrics have claimed yet another victim after a local Thai chap was blown up and flung from the top of a high building while trying to repair a broken air conditioner. His fate was not immediately recognised as his remains at the foot of the building were initially mistaken for a discarded takeaway curry. He probably would’ve tasted better than some of the takeaway curries we’ve had lately. A fire in North Pattaya has destroyed a six storey building and a warehouse. Authorities tried to put a positive spin on the affair by pointing out that no foreign tourists were injured. So who dreams of large green erections then?... Police called a meeting of 130 entertainment venue owners earlier this month to check that they were still adhering to coronavirus restrictions. The owners said they were and the police thanked them and sent them on their way. Law enforcement at its finest. Banglamung officials have been carrying out spot checks on bars in Pattaya to ensure the Covid 19 rules are being followed. A spokesman confirmed they hadn’t found any customers breaking the rules, though he later admitted this was probably because they hadn’t actually found any customers. Pattaya is a place where the expression “elephant in the room” now has its own special meaning. The other night, a local man was woken by a commotion in his house, and on turning on the light was surprised to discover – you guessed it - an elephant in the room. That’s the trouble with elephants you see – they just take things too literally. Police are seeking a Thai man who’s been scamming people for parking fees on Beach Road by cunningly disguising himself as a traffic warden… Bar news now, and we start with the surprise return of Classroom to Soi Pattayaland. Just like the old days? Who knows? Baccara is also set to reopen, allegedly today. Wonder what the line-up will be like? Devil’s Den has closed down but plans to reopen in a new location when the tourists are allowed to return – if they ever are. A fake bank robbery was staged by Pattaya police last week for some reason or another (probably didn’t have anything else to do). After about 20 minutes of intensive police work, two Burmese workers were arrested but both claimed they’d been fitted up and the money used for the exercise has mysteriously disappeared. The men were nonetheless found to be guilty and will face a firing squad next week, though as it was only a drill the guns won’t be loaded – well, most of them won’t. Time for a time slip in the shape of a couple of old clippings from Monkeywatch in September 2010… “Punch-ups in Patts are big news at the moment, and there was another one a couple of Sundays ago in which six Thai blokes attacked a chap and gave him a good kicking. Nothing new you may say, except that this time it wasn’t at a bar or Go Go, it was at the Sutawat Temple in East Pattaya - and all the brawlers were monks. Hell’s teeth, what’s the world coming to? The way things are going you’ll have to be careful how you look at a nun if you don’t want her boot in your groin. A double suicide was reported to have taken place in North Pattaya the other Friday. Funny, I thought you could only do it once.” Another example of why Pattaya is the destination of choice for quality tourists… Local health officials wish to make it clear that the medical advice recently given stating that condoms should always be used for the duration of the current pandemic was only meant to apply to people while they were having sex. Thailand has been added to the UK travel corridor list so Brits can now travel freely to the Land of Smiles – and be sent straight back home when they do. Finally, it’s been incorrectly reported in some quarters that Thailand is to consider granting permanent residence to anyone who buys a condom. In fact, you have to buy a condo. Shit, and I bought a whole bloody packet. be seeing you monkeyman
  23. 8 points
    Ok guys, So since the board has been upgraded I have been using a 3rd party email service called SendGrid. Its free, but its limited to 100 emails per day... and while I don't fully understand their limits since it has let us go up to 120% sometimes and sometimes it doesn't... its been a bit of a pain overall because we go over 100 emails 9 days out of 10, resulting in many emails not going out - including "forgot password" and other important emails. The underlying issue is that email is very complicated to set up properly, and I am not a linux expert... e.g. I was not confident enough in my linux skills to properly set email up to make sure all the different gotchas are covered. That all changed about a year back when I took over control of a hosting company from another pattaya expat that passed away. Those server were also linux, and since taking that business over I have had to learn all the things I didn't know before... so while im still far from an expert, I have been able to get things sorted out where I feel comfortable with it. Sooooooo I just switched us over from using a non-exiting "admin@pattayatalk" email via sendgrid to a real "forums@pattayatalk" email running on a different server, but still in my rack... that way if email starts getting hammered it won't slow down the forums. So we are now up on that and all limits have been removed... so feel free to subscribe to whatever threads you want from here on 🙂 It will be 24 hours before I know for sure its working... but the tests have passed, so it looks good. Frosty
  24. 8 points
    Radio Interview Note: This is an exact transcript of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. Woman Radio Host: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?" General Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." Woman Radio Host: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" General Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range." Woman Radio Host: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" General Reinwald: "I don't see how, "We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm." Woman Radio Host: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers." General Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"
  25. 8 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap once more, and welcome to this month’s look at No-Fun City as it slowly creaks back to life. As foreign tourists continue to have the door into Thailand slammed in their faces, the government is spending billions of baht bailing out their tourist industry by effectively paying Thai people to go on holiday as part of a venture known as “We Tour Thailand”. Hotel rooms, tourist attractions and airline tickets are just a few of the items to be heavily subsidised in order to get the tourist industry moving again. Hotel owners have responded enthusiastically to the government’s 40% room subsidy – by raising their prices by 40% so they’ll get more government money. Thai economics at its finest. A similar venture called “Tour to Share Happiness” has also been launched to reward Thai medical and health staff for not killing too many people during the current pandemic. There was pandemonium a couple of days ago when a temple crematorium exploded in the middle of a funeral, causing mourners to dive for cover. The explosion was thought to have been caused by a gas leak and caused extensive damage. Police said it was difficult to establish how many people had been killed as some of the bodies were probably already dead prior to the incident, but said it didn’t matter as they were putting Covid-19 on all the death certificates. Police were called to a bar on Soi 6 after a report that a group of 12 Indian men were sitting together without face masks. The officers left after a short conversation with the men and told the bar owner “No problem. They’re all staying in the same hotel room.” Some bars may be taking social distancing a little too far… A school for the blind in Pattaya is hoping that a move to online donations will help replenish its funds after they were caught napping by a sharp downturn as a result of the coronavirus outbreak. Definitely a lack of vision there. A Thai schoolteacher is in hot water with the education authorities after she allegedly humiliated a girl pupil by giving her an “ugly” haircut as a punishment for wearing her hair too long. The teacher strenuously denied the allegation and said she planned to call Donald Trump and Boris Johnson as expert witnesses. It seems that some of the closed beer bars in Pattaya are being used as temporary accommodation for homeless people. They’re quite easy to spot – they’re better dressed than the regular punters. So who wants a fully furnished pool?... Bar news now, and at last there’s some good news with 20 or so go go’s already back up and running and more being added every day, though Atlantis appears to have closed down again already. Kiss has also bitten the dust and is up for sale. The Ministry of Social Development and Human Security (catchy little name) have announced that they will be paying out 3000 baht in COVD-19 compensation to 6 million vulnerable people. A spokesman for the vulnerable people thanked them for their generosity but said they were really hoping for 3000 baht each. Forward to the past now with a peek at a trio of old stories from Monkeywatch in July 2010… “The ubiquitous Child and Women Protection Unit still seem to be having an identity crisis, as one of their latest escapades was to bust a World Cup gambling operation in a shop near Third Road. The shop owner was arrested and a punter who was caught placing a bet on England to win the World Cup was sent to a local hospital for psychiatric reports. Pattaya made the Thailand national news the other weekend after a UFO was sighted and filmed by an employee of a local skydiving company. An expert initially identified it as a weather balloon but later conceded that it might have been a German tourist bungee jumping On the last Friday in June, Beach Road hosted a special United Nations sponsored Anti-Human Trafficking Concert. So what exactly are anti-humans then? Are they like anti-matter? Anyway, don’t traffic them. You have been warned.” Looks like the Prince Andrew Hotel has had a name change… A Cambodian bloke amazingly survived after being struck but lightning the other day. He just got up, brushed himself down and rushed off, saying he needed to buy a load of lottery tickets double quick. While most hotels are struggling to fill their rooms, business seems to be booming for one hotel group. We believe they’re called Quarantine. Finally, an elderly local Thai man has received yet another warning from police after stripping naked on Bangsaen Beach and shouting at the waves. Silly old Canute. be seeing you monkeyman
  26. 8 points
    Had a nice ride out to Huai Chak Nok Reservoir today. The water situation is looking pretty dire there too. Google Earth view of the photo stops today. I've also noted the change in the water's edge since the last update on 28 December. Pic 1 Pic 2 For comparison, pic from 28 December Pic 3: Workers taking advantage of the low water levels to dig a channel into the shallow part of the reservoir. Should help in future draughts as they won't have to set up pumps to get the water from the shallow areas into the main body of water. Pic 4 Pic 5 Pic 6: Interesting erosion lines and rock structures in the exposed lakebed. Pic 7 Final pic is looking at the south end of the reservoir on the other side of the road.
  27. 7 points
    Rhino your girls are lovely. The one you posted on the Pattaya forum was outstanding. I was in Bangkok last night for a 1 night tear. Spent way to much money. Hotel Majestic Suites is open again 800baht. Lunch was the lamb burger from Le Buchon. Not typical of me but took 2 wonderful girls from Butterflies in Nana. They came out of the shower with hotel robes on smiling and laying side by side. Cost: transport 4,000 baht, Girls were 3k each but could probably could less. Barfines 800 baht. A Beer Garden favorite was 1k. Yes silly money and Pattaya is a bargain. Im going to try posting pictures since that is the life of the forum as we see from Rhino and before Teelack. Please be gentle. My photos will suck at first.
  28. 7 points
  29. 7 points
    For those in the UK.
  30. 7 points
    The International Date Line is what sponsors use in their home country to phone their thai girlfriend up on isn't it ???
  31. 7 points
    Running a business in Pattaya for 15 years has been hard. But just basically surviving the next 15 weeks or maybe even months will be tougher. So if you're in town, feeling thirsty and after some free food on Saturday night. Please pop into the Cherry Bar on Soi Diana. (next to Papagayo). Your support would be much appreciated.
  32. 7 points
    It is getting warmer out there... Meteorologiste.mp4
  33. 7 points
    It seems breakfast is not one of your talents. Eather stay in bed and avoid it, or follow the breakfast rules adhered to by the civilised world. 1. Breakfast to be conducted at a low volume. Shouting "HEY BURT WHAT THE FRICKIN FRICK IS THIS? " in the buffet queue is unacceptable. 2. There may well be people around with hangovers. They will certainly stick to rule 1. Unless confronted by a confused loud person who. Instead of getting on with breakfast in a quite orderly manner, is now holding everyone up to take buffet pictures. Then you may hear a quiet. "Twat" being aimed in your direction. Take the hint and stop fucking about. 3. If in doubt stick to tea/coffee and toast. If the toaster looks like it might be a technical challenge for you, quietly admit you are a breakfast novice an skip the toast. Maybe you can come back later and have a practice when everyone else has finished. 4. If your other half is visually offensive or prone to talking.. Don't take her to breakfast!
  34. 7 points
  35. 7 points
    For me, it started a few weeks ago when I was listening to the news on TV. Had Duterte just shut down Manila for a month, did I hear that right. Checked the internet and for sure 3-hours ago, 6-hours ago reports say it was true. It was way back in November, I had planned to get away from Songkran for nearly a month in the Philippines. (Songkran has now been cancelled) I had planned a bit of island hopping going to Coron, El Nido, Puerta Princesa and then 10-days in Sabang, Puerta Gallera to finish off, a place of last years Philippine report trip. On my morning walk took my Passport and stopped off at the Thai Air office at the top of Beach Road near the Dusit. The place was packed, could not even get to the ticket machine so I give it a miss and would try again in the afternoon. My first thought was... are all these guys going to Angeles. In the afternoon the office was empty so picked a number and walked straight up to the desk. Told I would get a full refund but wait for it, expect to wait 45-days. WTF Thai Air will probably go bust by then. I also have a July trip booked on BA to Heathrow. This could also be sliding away depending on events. Then came the warning of bar closures. It was Wednesday and I am always optimistic I would find a bar open. A walk down soi 6 confirmed the worst as all the bars were in darkness a few bars had the shutters half way down with girls sitting on the floor eating and talking. A walk up soi 7 and to my surprise, the bars were open but it felt just like the Kings Funeral with all the bars in semi darkness and no music, total silence. The girls were wondering what they were going to do and after a number of visits (warnings) by the police the bars on soi 7 closed at 12-midnight. On the Thursday there were guys wandering the streets looking for a saviour. I was one of them. Took the GF out to eat roast duck at the Leng kee restaurant on Pattaya Klang and consumed a number of large Chang from the promotion girl at their special price of 100 baht. With my Philippine trip down the pan and the bars all shut I needed a holiday and it was time to get the hell out of Dodge. That night packed my case and the following day set off in the direction of Hua Hin to my regular stop at the Tanawit hotel and spa. The beer bar area in the town was closed and the place looked deserted. Had my mandatory Hawaiian pizza in Roberto's Italian restaurant with large Leo's. Only one bar was open at the back of the Hilton Hotel near to the beach. It was full so went into one of the restaurants nearby on stilts overlooking the sea. No problem just ordering beer. Then went to check out the night market close to my hotel and it was kicking with the C.O. Bar doing good business. C.O Bar in the market After my morning walk down the beach, a croissant and a 7-Eleven coffee drove South down to Surat Thani to the Orchid Riverside Hotel where I have stayed before. On checking in, all the staff have masks and have the infra red temp gun zapped on my head to show 37 degrees. Around 200 yards away there is an exercise park on the island and next to it an excellent restaurant by the river called Crossroads, this time it was large Leo's shared between two. View from Crossroads Restaurant Surat Thani After a 7-Eleven coffee an early start by my standards to the Raja Ferry Port at Donsak which is around 45-minutes drive with very few cars on the road. Saw the Raja turn off sign too late as I was going too fast but from the Garmin GPS carried on the road another few clicks and found a PTT petrol station to tank up the car. Would expect gas more expensive on the island. (was 3-baht per litre more) Drive 5-minutes and passed the Seatran ferry port and then to the Raja ferry where the pre-check-in is another temperature check on your head and a stamp on the back of my hand. 520 baht is the price of the ticket for car and driver + 1 passenger to Koh Samui. The queue is short and 15-minutes later have parked on board and sat in the upper air con lounge. Queue is very short Only 6-passengers upstairs, a few with face masks. Others stay in their cars and pick ups. 90-minutes or so and we are docking. Road signs are pretty shit and I make two wrong turns before I see a sign for Lamai. Have been to Koh Samui twice in my 'party days' in 2003 and 2006 when it was ramming, staying on Chaweng Beach at the Coral Beach Resort but this time decided a little quiet time in Lamai was in order. Stopped at the Best Resort which cost 900 baht a night with parking, a room overlooking the swimming pool with a/c no frills and book for 2-nights so I can get my bearings. Coconut bar and Bamboo restaurant on the beach does a big English breakfast for 100 baht. A SML is 70 and big bottles of Leo 100. Bamboo Restaurant Beach Grand father/ mother Rocks shaped like cock and pussy Walk one street back and all the bars are in full swing with customers. Some beer bars have girls but no music. The last time I was here, hired a motor bike and checked out Lamai but did not find all the beer bar areas and now it looks like there are more than Chaweng. Drive around to Chaweng beach and the road is half dug up. Reminds me of Beach Road in Pattaya. All the road dug up Drive into Central Festival to park. Have passport copied and temperature check before entering. This mall is open air and far too hot for walking around. Checked out the Coral Beach Resort which may have been taken over by Ark Bar where I stayed years ago. It was boarded up and closed. Coral Beach Resort may now be Ark Bar Closed no customers A bar in town is selling beer and is open till 10pm, the guy welcomes us to come in but it is far too early Bar area not a girl in sight In Lamai I find some restaurants have stopped selling beer, some are open till 6pm and some till 10pm. I guess it is who has connections or pays with brown envelopes. There are still foreigners on holiday out on the beach oblivious of flight cancellations. The night market may as well pack up as there are no customers. Why set a stall no fallang A day or so later all the bars in town closed and so did the night market. Bar Area closed Moved a few hundred yards down the road to the Coconut Beach Resort which has big rooms, English tv, swimming pool, gym and sun loungers on the beach, negotiated a deal for 1000 baht a night. Booked for 5-nights with the intention of staying longer depending on the situation. There are two Coconut beach resorts the other is called Coconut beach Lamai. Hotel. Pool. Beach sunbeds. Ideal location One man and his dog Bo Phut view of Koh Phangan (monthly moon party) Santiburi Golf Club very expensive A look on Booking.com and it was advertised at over 1800 baht a night but I think we are the only ones here. Restaurants on the beach are still selling food and booze. At breakfast, told by restaurant staff to wear a face mask when going out around town. Very few people are out now. Everyone in Tesco Lotus and Big C wearing masks, more temperature checks and sanitiser on entering. Less tourists are now left around the beach. Blue sky, lovely blue sea and fresh air (AQI under 20) To get rid of my Pattaya cough. My routine has now changed. No more staying out till midnight. A full English breakfast. A drive around the island to another beach. Sight seeing. A lounge on a sun bed and swim sea/pool. Out early doors for beers on the beach and then a meal. A few beers/Sam Song coke on the beach with the GF, I have a cool bag. Early night around 9 to 10pm Watch a movie for an hour or two. Always useful to have a cool bag with ice Book another three then another two more nights in this hotel as the place is ok. Phuket is going under a curfew, sounds like there already is one in Pattaya as everything is closed after 10pm. Will there be a lock-down, a lot of speculation. There needs to be a heads up. If I get stuck here for a month or two it would not be the end of the world. Have checked out some beach resorts for a long term stay, around 10,000 baht a month. Hear that the hotel next to the restaurant I am drinking in has 3-Russian tourists. They want to get rid of them as they want to close. Most hotels along the beach have closed with signs saying open in July. Is that really 2020 optimistic? As of today Samui has a population of around 70,000 locals. And there are only 3-confirmed cases on Samui, Two are French guys, one coming back from France and the other from the Philippines. The other is a Thai doctor. Koh Phangnan the moon party island has zero cases. Pattaya has a population of 320,000 / Chonburi 1.5 million population with 38 cases including 2-Brits. I keep distance, wear a mask in shops and think on the whole it is safer to be down here for the time being. I did try to buy the malaria tablets chloroquine and Azilthromycin at a chemist but the doctor told me the hospital has taken full control of these drugs. The ironic thing is a few years ago I cleaned out my medicine cabinet and threw away these pills (I used them in my Africa days) I still have a supply of Lariam which was considered a substitute. It is like a delaying tactic but sure as hell the same rules are regulations are working their way down to Samui. (Surat Thani Province) Still serve beer on the beach till 6pm but now only do take-aways. All right for the GF as the food carts are her staple diet. Time to call it a day and go home tomorrow. Time to go home Got there in time for the 8am ferry but looks like schedules have changed as it sailed after 9am then spent 30-minutes waiting for a berth at the Donsak mainland. 11:30 and we disembark with half the day gone. The drive back is pleasing with no traffic, one checkpoint asking where we go, the next is a pull over and a temperature check. The GF wants to visit her home in Isaan but driving today I have only seen one empty bus and one taxi in 6-hours. It is after 5:30pm and I have had enough so pull into Prachaup Kiri Khan which is only around 10-minutes off the main drag. Stayed here before at the Beach hotel and dinned upstairs in a small restaurant overlooking the sea obviously this time it was closed. Decide to try the Prachaup Grand which was a walk in rate of 1400 baht with breakfast. Only one other car in the parking lot. The Agoda rate is only 10 baht less so will not be running around to pay at a 7-Eleven. Nice room, restaurant open, we are the only ones here. Only around 10 things on the menu but the Pad Se Ew Chicken was excellent washed down with 3-Leo's at 60 baht each. After breakfast set off with the drive to Pattaya expecting more checkpoints as I read Pattaya is going to be locked down. The drive around the coast is quiet with only a build up of traffic around Bangkok and over the Chao Phraya River bridge. Eventually arrive Pattaya without one temperature check. A few checkpoints but just waved through mostly stopping pick up trucks. Take from this trip: I felt like I was a storm chaser but chasing beer and food with the rules and regulations changing by the day. I have experienced a beach holiday for the first time in years and it was a pleasant change. Blue sky, blue sea and clean air. All roads are well back from the beach with very little traffic. It has given me another option from my regular trips to Hua Hin and Koh Chang which are just over 4-hours. For me, this trip needs a day stop over as it is a tad over 800 kilometers. Now I am back in Pattaya I can still walk down the beach, it is not closed. (there were quite a few girls yesterday afternoon) and swim in the pool but I am now going to be oblivious to the passing of time. I used to know what day it was by what I was going to eat and now the weekends have no sport, one day is just the same as any other. One thing I know for sure is I would still rather be here than the UK. There are many food carts on soi Buakhao, I picked up a white grilled fish today, yesterday was ribs from Big C. Cheap Charlies and The Hungry Monkey look like they are doing take away so I will not go short. And as for drinking at home, maybe it is time to cut down on the beer and loose a few kilo.
  36. 7 points
    Line at Thai Airways office this morning. Road into New Plaza getting a scrub. First thing that caught my eye was the free food part. Thought, that's a nice gesture in these trying times. Alas, once my brain caught up to what my eyes were seeing I realized she was using an old Korando's Bar party poster for a tablecloth.
  37. 7 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, a very Merry Christmas to one and all, and welcome to the last of this year’s peeks into the crevices of Slob City. Let the festivities commence. A new German documentary has done a proper hatchet job on Pattaya, reporting that the place is about as safe as Chicago was in the 1920s with fraud, scams, muggings, bag snatchings and assaults happening on an hourly basis. The local police rose to the challenge immediately by ordering a crackdown on nudity in Go Go bars. And if that wasn’t enough, there have also been reports that pollution in Bangkok has risen to record levels, so we can expect that sour-faced little troll from Sweden to start flapping her jaw as well. Pattaya tourism is suffering a catastrophic decline according to a new report, with high season booking showing a 20 per cent decline from last year. It goes on to say that the Chinese and Koreans are buggering off to Vietnam in increasing numbers and that Pattaya’s last hope lies with Indian tourists. No, stop laughing for a minute, the report claims that they spend an average of 10,000 baht each per day. Okay, you can start laughing again now. It also states they tend to travel in groups of 20-30 (and all on the same bloody baht bus most of the time.) And just to prove the point… If you’re planning to visit Jomtien, it may be prudent to avoid engaging in hazardous pursuits such as eating satay pork in a restaurant or using a hotel bathroom, as partaking in these activities has claimed the lives of a local Thai man and a Russian tourist in the last few weeks. The Tourist Authority has already decided to reclassify these activities as dangerous sports and is advising potential visitors to take out the appropriate insurance. Either that or refrain from eating or shitting for the duration of your stay. A number of 7-Eleven stores stopped using plastic bags a few weeks back to see how things went in advance of the national ban that is to be introduced on January 1. Problems immediately arose in one store when people panic buying plastic bags to beat the national ban were told they’d have to buy a paper bag to put them in before they were allowed to leave the premises. Punches were reportedly thrown and a number of displays were smashed in the ensuing fracas. Police were called when the situation escalated even further and the fighting spilled out onto the street. Several arrests were made and numerous weapons were seized. All leave for riot police has now been cancelled for the beginning of January to cope with the national introduction of this popular eco-friendly policy. It’s also been announced that no less than eight TV stations will be censoring any programmes featuring plastic bags, and will presumably be carrying warnings such as “The following programme contains scenes depicting plastic bags which some viewers may find offensive.” You couldn’t make it up. Following the latest disappearance of Pattaya Beach, security nets have been installed to stop the rocks being stolen as well… Christmas bar news begins with more closures, this time New Star and New Bat Club. The unexpected reopening of Party Girlz a few weeks ago unexpectedly didn’t take place – then last week it did. We also have a new Go Go bar on Walking Street called Spicy Girl, a name from the past (well almost). The girls from the former Peppermint seem to have settled at Baccara if anybody’s interested. No, didn’t think you would be. And the former Hidden has just reopened as the Black Banana Club, though it sounds more like a sports bar than a Go Go. A Pattaya coffee shop owner has been criticized for filming one of her customers being attacked with a shoe but not intervening to stop the assault. “You try fighting with the public and filming on a phone at the same time” she retorted when questioned. The police officer in attendance was not impressed and whacked her with one of his boots. The Ghost of Christmas Past walks among us now, looking back at a pair of yuletide tales from Monkeywatch in December 2009… “Three Thai blokes who were about to vandalise a phone box in Jomtien last Thursday got more than they bargained for when they were attacked by a group of civil volunteers who were working nearby. The volunteers beat the men with pieces of the phone that they ripped out of the box then smashed their heads through every pane of glass in the cubicle to subdue them until the police turned up. The police commended the plucky volunteers for their valuable help in eradicating the scourge of telephone box vandalism. Last Friday, a disaster simulation exercise of a road crash was held on Pattaya Third Road to test if local services could cope. Following the success of this operation, Walking Street has been chosen as the venue for the next disaster simulation exercise in which the bars will run out of beer and the Go Go girls will all perform in anoraks.” The deckchair bans introduced to attract more tourists to Pattaya beach seem to be working well… The latest wheeze by the Tourism Authority to boost numbers is to target first time visitors, concentrating on the usual mixture of dregs and stinking pigs that they seem to favour for some inexplicable reason. They appear to have given up on repeat visitors, presumably because they couldn’t find any. Once bitten, twice shy? A major fire drill has been conducted at a hotel in Pattaya following a recent incident where a large number of guests had to be evacuated from another hotel following a fire. The hotel in question only suffered minor damage, unlike the one used for the fire drill which burned to the ground. “Well they said they wanted it to be realistic”, mused one participant as he surveyed the smouldering ruins. There’s a moral in there somewhere – but we’re buggered if we can find it. There was a bit of a ruck over by Soi Buakhao last week when a row between four street vendors turned into a knife fight. Tourists scrambled to safety as the men hacked and slashed at each other until police arrived and arrested three of the men, the fourth having buggered off before they arrived. They were being escorted to hospital when it was discovered that they were in fact Vietnamese working illegally so, as is customary under Thai law, they were given a bloody good hiding and bundled off to the immigration authorities for immediate deportation. Not exactly a clever way to behave if you’re illegal workers. Silly buggers. Finally, the government has announced that New Year’s gifts are to be offered to Thais and tourists to “increase happiness.” The military will be providing medical treatment, car repairs and massage services, so if you fancy having a hairy-arsed Thai soldier rubbing baby oil into your dick it sounds like you’re in for a good time. Merry Christmas everybody. be seeing you monkeyman
  38. 7 points
    I took a Baht bus from Pattaya to Jomtien this afternoon. Usually, the bus goes along Jomtien Beach Road until it gets to Soi Chaiyaphruek, and then I get thrown off. Today, the bus just kept going towards Na Jomtien. I stopped it at Lumpini Park Beach - about 3/5ths of a mile past Soi Chaiyaphruek, but it felt much further. The road is single lane each way at that point. I walked back along Beach Road until the road takes a sharp right to Pattaya - about 2.5 miles, I think. The walk along Jomtien Beach is very familiar to me, and nothing much has changed except I was very aware of how many signs in Chinese there are now - particularly for pharmacies. And it is quite clear who this condo development is aimed at. There are two areas of beach between Lumpini Park Beach and Soi Chaiyaphruek on which fishing boats are kept. It was an overcast day - not the greatest for sitting on the beach - but, even so, there was a respectable number of people there. This was near Lumpini Park and this was nearer the other end In the not too distant past, the beach would have been swarming with Russians, but there weren't that many to be seen today. It's going to be difficult to identify who on the beach are tourists in the future if a lot of them are Chinese! There were two teams of workers giving the beach some TLC - one watering the trees, and another cleaning the beach of leaves and other rubbish. On the whole, the state of the beach was quite good, but there were a few spots where damage was evident. The usual beach services were available! In several places, there were swarms of quite large flying insects. As you can imagine, it's not easy for a small p and s camera to photograph them but this is the best I managed. Does anyone know what they are? Giant hornets, maybe? This little guy and his mate put on an impressive acrobatic show as I was passing!
  39. 6 points
  40. 6 points
    Before and after pics of the wire cleanup at Chaos Corner. From earlier in the week And today. Still a hell of a lot of wire for maybe six or so utility services in Pattaya. And speaking of today, looks like no tomorrows for Today Bar on Soi Lengkee. Spotted only one lonely parasailing customer this morning. Sabai Lodge has demolished the strip of rooms in the back.
  41. 6 points
    I'm a comparative Newbie here. Have met a few of you on the 2 recent bar crawls. A couple of you have expressed interest in "what we do", so with Frosties consent, I'm posting this as an introduction. My (Thai ) wife and I have a small Company ( Engineering & Property Services Co Ltd ) based here in the Darkside. I'm an Engineer to trade, so have a reasonable understanding of how things "work". We have Thai staff ( as required to meet my Work Permit quota ), we have a Furniture Workshop / equipment store and we have trusted sub-contractors that cover all the trades that I can imagine you ever needing; which include :- Air Cons Glazing Ceramic Tiling Electrical Plumbing + water tanks, pumps et al I.T. Decorating - painting, papering etc. Curtains, blinds etc Granite & Marble ( and refinishing work ) Security safes Security doors Mild steel, stainless steel and aluminum fabrication Bespoke furniture General Building work Etc. etc All sub-contractors work under our ( my ) supervision. Where possible, we aim to provide a near European standard of work. We have been called out to replace a Bum Gun head. I've been employed as the Project Manager of a THB 35m+ house ( mansion ) build. These two jobs represent the two extremes thus far. Currently, we're upgrading the 2nd of 3 bathrooms in a ( Pattaya ) town house, due to start building some internal walls and replacement of old steel water pipes ( with PVC / PP-R ) in a 200 Sq.M Jomtien Condo renovation next week. Also in discussion regarding the revamping of a 3 storey shop-house bar in central Pattaya. We work on a straight forward "Cost + 20%". Labour day rates for various staff skill sets are declared up-front, as is my wife's and my day-rate. Quality materials are purchased at the best rate we can find. The work is done, the cost of materials and labour added-up, a 20% premium is applied ( Overheads, Profit Margin etc. ) and the total is what we ask you to pay. If the job goes well, you pay less. If we hit an unforeseen snag ( TiT ! ), we tell you, we fix it ( properly ) and you only pay what it costs ( + 20% ). The alternative is that you invite a contractor to Quote for the work; he Quotes for what he can see, + a huge contingency for what he can't see, but experience has led him to anticipate, + a profit margin. If the job goes well, you pay through the nose and he makes a killing. If the job goes badly, he has the option of covering-up any problems and walking away with a small profit, or doing it properly and making a loss . . . . unfortunately, the latter doesn't often happen. You will find cheaper than us, but I would like to think that, although more expensive, at the end of the day, we provide Value for Money. So, if you think we might be able to help, please give me a shout. Steve ( a.k.a. Proffesor ) 08221 68865 epspattaya@gmail.com
  42. 6 points
  43. 6 points
    As the Beach Rd drainage project is pretty much completed, thought it would be good to see what the finished product looks like. Of concern is this catch basin on the north end. While it's not easy to see in the pic, it's still half full of water with no discernible movement of the water. To me that's indicative of inadequate drainage slope. The north end got new pavers, so the rebuilt footpath looks good. But a short ways from the north end they used a mishmash of recycled pavers and the result looks like crap. Where some effort was put in to match the existing color scheme, the result looks a lot better. The matching of colors is the exception though. Only one of the three security tents are staffed now. This was the only section of beach, near Soi 5, that I saw evidence of erosion from storm water runoff. Looks like they haven't had to use the Soi 6 pumps, yet. Pattaya lifeguards trying to figure out what the red floaty thing is for. In fairness to them, and as an ex-competitive swimmer, they look like they have the characteristic build of a swimmer, so they may actually know how to swim. Another section that employed workers that weren't colorblind. But it was a short section, then the colorblind crew was back. In some sections it was easier for them to fill the gaps with concrete, rather than properly fit the pavers. The doors at the end of the long concrete box on the south end are designed to swing free. I could see them open and close slightly from wave action. When the diversion gates in the previous picture are raised, the storm water pressure will be enough to allow that water to flow freely into the sea. I wonder what the point is of having that outflow box when these outflow pipes accomplish the same thing.
  44. 6 points
    Three women left separately after a very late night out drinking Guinness until the early hours. They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who had been the most drunk. The first gal claims that she was the drunkest, saying, “I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks” To which the second gal replied, “You think that was drunk? I got in my car, drove out of the parking lot, and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don’t even have insurance!” And the third proclaimed, “I was by far the most drunk. I got home, I go in a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down!” They all looked at each other for a moment. Then the first gal says: “Ladies, I don’t think you understand. Chunks is my dog.”
  45. 6 points
    Difficult to tell the difference really ...Perhaps the one in the middle has a slightly different shaped nose ...
  46. 6 points
    Pics of some of the construction and destruction projects around Pattaya. Watched these guys climbing from one balcony to the next. Happy when they succeeded as I didn't want the job of first responder.
  47. 6 points
    Water truck with free water made a trip down our soi this morning. We've been without city water for three days now due to a broken main, so the free water is appreciated. Someone asked if Katesiree was still serving coffee. Sadly the answer is no, at both locations. Still working on the new Jomtien Hospital. Looks like outpatient services are open. Resorts/ST rooms are now closed.
  48. 6 points
  49. 6 points
    Beach Rd photo update, starting from the north end. Never noticed any customers before today at the Thai Airways office. Line out the door keeping a proper social distance, probably looking to rebook canceled flights. Looking north opposite Holiday Inn Looking south from the same spot Soi 1 Noticed this guy digging himself a cool spot in the sand. Pavement work opposite The Bay Water north of Soi 6 is currently draining into a pit. Very odd they don't have a pipe yet that connects to the new drains south of this point. Drain grates completed from just north of the Klang intersection. Typical, quality Thai engineering on show. Curb construction almost to Mike's Mall. South end getting pumped out. Beach is pretty empty. And no parasails in the air.
  50. 6 points
    The Siam Lounge is a German bar and restaurant on Pattaya Klang Soi 12 around the corner from the Siam View hotel and across the street from the KTK Royal Residence. It's close to Nova Gold and Nova Park hotels and Jameson's Irish Pub. I In addition to German dishes with a Bavarian accent, the Siam Lounge has standard international dishes like hamburgers, sandwiches, pasta and pizza as well as Thai dishes. Prices are moderate. It has an extensive breakfast menu with German and English variations. It's an open-front restaurant that's a pleasant place to have a drink or a meal . Strategically placed fans bolster the effect of breezes off the sea to keep it cool. It would be a good place for people watching, except there isn't much to watch on Soi 12 aside from passing vehicles. The staff is friendly and attentive and there's no blaring background music. Most of the customers appear to be older Germans or Scandinavians. Siam Lounge is open from 8.00 a.m. to 11.30 p.m. I've eaten at Siam Lounge a number of times because it's close to where I'm currently staying. I have mostly had the breaded pork schnitzel. The schnitzel was topped with a fried egg and came with a small side of industrial cut French fries. Unlike a lot of schitzel in Pattaya, the Siam Lounge version had been properly fried- crispy exterior but still moist and tender inside. At 119 baht, it was among the cheaper schnitzel's I have had in Pattaya and good value for money. The schnitzel comes in several sizes and mine was consider small. with large and extra-large portions also available. I wish it were offered with either boiled potatoes or potato salad as the size, but that would push up the price, I guess. On an even more specifically German note, I tried leberkäse, which literally translates as "liver cheese." That's an archaic term and it's called "meatloaf" in modern translations. Bavarian leberkäse contains neither liver nor cheese. I'd never had leberkäse i before and was eager to try it. It's nothing like U.S. meatloaf. The German variation was processed meat that has been ground finely and baked in a loaf pan. It was topped with the customary fried egg and French fries were again the non-traditional side. The condiment baskets at Siam Lounge include both sharp and mild versions of German mustard. The leberkäse definitely benefited from a liberal dose of mustard. Overall, it was OK but I doubt I'll order it again. Just not my taste. I've also had the breakfast beef cheeseburger that comes with a fried egg, orange juice and coffee. It cost 139 baht, which is a pretty good price considering it included a small glass of juice (with pulp, not an orange drink). The egg yolk was cooked a bit too hard for my preference, but that is often the case in Thailand. Overall, the breakfast burger went down nicely. I won't hesitate to order it again as breakfast or a light lunch. I've had the spaghetti bolognese several times as well. It was a large portion, if not huge. The sauce was good and had plenty of ground beef, but needed seasoning, particularly Italian herbs and spices. I've accepted that outside of Italian restaurants, spaghetti doesn't have much of an Italian taste in Pattaya. It with a small dish of out-of-a-package grated parmesan cheese. At 120 baht, it was great value for money. I've paid 180 baht or more for worse plates of spaghetti. The spaghetti at the stall at the corner of Soi Buakhao and Soi Diana costs 120 baht, but it includes freshly grated parmesan. Siam Lounge also has pizza on the menu. It's not baked on site, but comes from a nearby pizza place. It's available between 3 p.m. and closing with a 20-minute wait. At 150 baht for 14-inch sausage pizza, it's a good deal. The crust was thin and crispy and hadn't been over-sauced. It was a cheap fix for my pizza craving. According to the Siam Lounge's Facebook page, Bavarian breakfast is available on Sundays for 299 baht. It consists of "white sausage, pretzel and a special mustard mixture. Beer is part of a Bavarian breakfast, but it costs extra. Bottom line: I have mostly eaten at Siam Lounge because it is a convenient location for me, but I have no complaints about the food or prices. If you like German food at reasonable prices, it's certainly an option. Evil
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