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Displayed prices are for multiple nights. Check the site for price per night. I see hostels starting at 200b/day and hotels from 500b/day on agoda.

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Showing content with the highest reputation since 07/14/2019 in all areas

  1. 17 points
    We will be open again from 10 am to 12 midnight from Wednesday 1 July. The staff have been busy these last few days getting everything clean and ready to go. It is amazing how many things deteriorated or just broke over the three months we were closed. However everything appears good now and we are keen to get back into it. I have no idea if we can survive and I'm expecting a hard time to even break even with no tourists in town and Cov19 fears still very much on everyone's mind. We are going to give it our best shot though. I do believe the Beer Garden will be a safe venue with ocean on three sides and a nice sea breeze to blow that nasty virus away. Amazingly our liquor supplier agreed to take back old stock beer and replace it with new stock. Still can't quite believe that happened. So break out from that lock-down and come and enjoy yourself at the Pattaya Beer Garden. Feel free to pass on the invite to others on different websites or Facebook. I know there was some speculation here and elsewhere that we would never re-open. It was all fake news 🙂 555 .
  2. 15 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, and core coon crap for joining us in the arduous task of trying to find something to talk about when there’s bugger all going on. Roll on July 1 so we can start moaning again. Holidaymakers are respectfully reminded that even though coronavirus restrictions are being eased, social distancing measures must still be strictly followed. In order to ensure compliance, patrons of bars should be aware that they will only be allowed to take girls back to their rooms if they are accompanied by a police officer. To help facilitate this, larger beds are being installed in all hotel rooms to enable a police officer in full protective gear to situate himself between the customer and his barfine to ensure that social distancing is observed at all times. Customers will of course be expected to pay the hotel a joiner fee for the officer as well as his wages for the duration of the encounter. Other than this, everything will be as normal. Enjoy your holiday. A fire broke out at the entrance to Walking Street recently after a truck driver who’d forgotten to lower his onboard crane hit the overhead power cables. Several business premises were damaged and traffic was disrupted while the fire was brought under control. The truck driver claimed he wasn’t aware of the cables as he thought they were all buried underground, a fate he may well be sharing with them if the aggrieved business owners get their hands on him. In an unrelated incident, a Thai chappie was blown to buggery when a transformer exploded on Walking Street as he was passing by. Let’s face it, if a chart was compiled of the most likely ways to die in Pattaya, coronavirus probably wouldn’t make the top 100. If you take a girl from Beach Road, beware. You might end up with a starfish… Following last month’s stories about mask wearing rules in Pattaya, another news item came to light about a man who attempted to rob a gold shop but the saleswoman wouldn’t let him in because he wasn’t wearing a mask. So now shopkeepers wear masks but robbers don’t. The world’s gone stark raving mad. As part of the lockdown easement in Pattaya, the authorities are now considering allowing live music venues to reopen. When asked about social distancing, a spokesman said “No problem. We’re telling them they can only reopen if they promise not to let any customers in.” Local officials have been carrying out inspections after reports that, in order to reopen, some bars have been masquerading as restaurants, though they do acknowledge that Pattaya traditionally has a much bigger problem with restaurants masquerading as restaurants. The Thai armed forces are doing their bit for diversity by announcing a switch to LGBT mines… Very little bar news as one would expect, and none of it good. It looks like Happy won’t be reopening and Rich is up for sale. Sapphire A Go Go is amazingly 10 years old this month. No sign of a party though. Miserable bastards. Perhaps it’s also worth mentioning that the last of the 22 proposed new rules for reopening bars states “Do not allow service staff, hostesses or PR to drink with customers.” This basically means you can buy a girl a lady drink but she won’t sit with you, she’ll just gulp it down and piss off somewhere else. Not much retraining required there then. A sailor from Pattaya recently made a complaint to the police that someone had been using his photo on Facebook to con people out of money in exchange for fake merchandise. However, the police said they didn’t believe the photo was of him and threw him in the cells for impersonating a member of the armed forces and for wasting police time. When asked why they’d done this, they said “Well we’ve had a quiet week.” Time to reminisce about virus-free days now with a pair of ripping yarns from Monkeywatch in June 2010... “Pattaya’s most successful comedy act, the Child and Women Protection Unit, were at it again last Wednesday when they were involved in the arrest of a Thai bloke for possession of porno DVDs that were later found to feature only men. So no women or children then. Silly buggers. In the same vein, so to speak, the local Anti Human Trafficking division arrested two stallholders for selling pirated DVD copies of popular Western and Thai cinema movies. Perhaps someone needs to explain ‘human trafficking’ to them again.” For those of you unable to visit Pattaya due to the pandemic, here’s a recent photo of Walking Street at midnight… A chap was taken to Pattaya hospital the other day after he’d sustained several injuries in a fall and was unable to stand up. Typical pissed up farang you might think, but no, he was in fact a Thai bloke who’d fallen off his bicycle. A hospital spokesman said “We were all surprised when he arrived. We were expecting a pissed up farang.” Thai doctors have warned that people run the risk of serious infection or even death by following the trend of wearing “fashion braces.” Since the warning was announced, a number of Thai men have been observed walking around with their trousers round their ankles. Finally, lovers of haute cuisine will no doubt be pleased to hear that Kiss Food and Drink has reopened with an offer of chicken with chilli and basil, a fried egg, rice and a bottle of water, all for 29 baht. When asked for his opinion on the offer, a local expat said “I think we should boycott the place to discourage this kind of profiteering.” be seeing you monkeyman
  3. 13 points
    With bars reopening, I made the trip to check out the scene. Once again, stayed at the Rembrandt Suites Hotel, great value at 1050 per night for a 4-star hotel. Asked for a higher floor this time. Over to the basement at Robinson's for a bite of oyster omelette, 60 baht. Dessert upstairs at McDonalds, never saw the place so empty at 6 PM A brief stop at Terminal 21 The Asoke Intersection at 7 PM Needed to freshen up after the bus ride. Could have showered at the hotel, but I don't come to town just to bathe myself, so I hopped the MRT over to Ratchadaphisek Road. Back to Sukhumvit, and Soi Cowboy was nearly empty. Baccara had 80 girls with 8 customers, can't see how they can sustain it for long. I stayed 2 hours and seven Hoegaardens but I expect they'll be shutting down the upstairs soon. After Baccara I went next door to Sharks. Really like the unisex restrooms, usually some girls doing their hair you can talk to while taking a whizz. Finished the evening at Crazy House. Breakfast at Chu's, the berry pancakes were a major disappointment. The 'maple' syrup was awful, should call it sugar syrup with barely a hint of maple. When I was a kid my grandpa would visit from Ste. Sault Marie, Michigan and bring a gallon of pure maple syrup. An Imperial gallon no less, so we got an extra quart! That was awesome. Next day I went back to the smoked salmon eggs benedict, served over buttermilk biscuits, better way to start the day. Headed over to the clinic for my monthly Vitamin B-12 injection. Asked if they could mix in some Lysol to fight the covid, as suggested by President Trump, but they won't poison customers. Benchasiri Park A brief break at Em Quarter Next was my Photoshoot with a Thai Playboy Bunny I had a craving for a burger before going home, so I headed over to my old stomping grounds, Soi 11, which was empty. Supposedly, the best burger in town is at El Gaucho Argentinian Steakhouse, but I can't justify spending 750 baht for a burger. A little further up, at 'the T', Dainiel Taiger has the best affordable burger in town. There's no blue cheese on this burger, only cheddar, so I ordered a Rochefort ten percenter as an accompaniment. Those Trappist Monks know how to whip up a powerful elixir. 646 baht for the pair, and it was a mighty tasty burger!
  4. 12 points
    I lived in lower Sukhumvit for seven years, until early this year. Hadn't been back for four months. It's a bit different, first things you notice now is the uncongestion and the clean air. There's social distancing everywhere, in the malls and restaurants. I always felt cramped living here because things were sized for Thais, but now I can enjoy my space. Even had a free seat next to me on the bus coming in and out of town and didn't have to pay for it. Gateway Mall I booked the Rembrandt Hotel on Soi 18 for half the regular price, there are some excellent domestic travel deals now, it's a 4-star hotel. They closed down the Rembrandt but put me in the Rembrandt Suites Hotel next door, facing Soi 20, it's newer and the price was less than the Nana Hotel. Hardly any guests were present. An exercise room but I had surgery last month and it's too soon to start working out, would be easy to rupture a tendon after all the antibiotics. Didn't stop me from taking a dip in the pool since they repaired my hernias. Perhapes I'll start weight lifting again in another 6 months or so, if I wish to turn my abdominal wall into swiss cheese again. The hotel had a breakfast buffet for 473 baht, but for the same price I walked over to Chu's at the Exchange Tower for a Norwegian Scramble with a cappuccino. The scramble featured smoked salmon on sourdough toast and the coffee included a small chocolate disk with Chu's stamped into it. I hadn't stayed on Soi 20 since 2003, then at the Windsor Suites, recently closed. At that time I would eat at the German restaurant Bei Otto, so I stopped there for breakfast, the farmers breakfast for 295. I had lunch at nearby Terminal 21, steamed crab in black pepper at the Thai Terrace restaurant I also had lunch in the food court, duck with sesame noodles for 40 baht. The biggest change I saw in the 'hood was the extension of the BTS sky walk at Asoke, now all the way to the Sofitel Hotel, with the Art Box on the south side. If they extend it another half-block, to the Hyatt Regency, you'll be able to take the sky walk between the Asoke and Nana BTS stations. Amazing how uncrowded Sukhumvit was in the mid afternoon on a weekday, here at the Asoke intersection. The first order of business was a haircut, it had been four months, so visited my regular barber on Soi 23. Crazy House was 'open', in a sense. Airing it out for an anticipated re-opening on Wednesday, I guess. Soi Cowboy had the usual food vendors in the afternoon. I visited my regular massage girl, she's talented and pretty but too shy for a photo, and headed over to the Art Box for dinner. Most places were closed and attendance was sparse, but I managed a small chicken burrito with a bottle of water at the Margarita Storm kiosk for 200, and Axe throwing was still in progress, but no bands were performing. Light traffic on Sukhumvit for an early evening Over on Soi 11 it was even more empty, quite a contrast to the days with the VW cocktail buses when every night was a block party. This was at 8:30 PM and nearly deserted. They've now opened a 24 hour Taco Bell to compete with Margarita Storm, just a block from where I used to live. I ordered Beef Taco Supremes for 208 baht, not cheap, and I had to pay 60 baht extra for the beef, with was runny. I should have stayed with the chicken, the best things were the sour cream and crunchy shells. If you consider Taco Bell as Mexican food, that's 9 Mexican restaurants within a kilometer, 10 if you include the Margarita Storm kiosk at the Art Box. The others: Mexicano at the Rembrandt, Soi 20 Margarita Storm, Soi 13 Slanted Taco, Soi 23 The Mexican, next to formerly Annies Massage on Soi 2 Tacos & Salsa, Soi 18 Sunrise Taco, Terminal 21 Cali-Mex Bar & Grill, Soi 11 La Monita Taqueria, Mahatun Plaza I lived in California long time, so enjoy Mexican. The Ambassador, looks like only three floors populated in the tower at right. The string of massage shops that used to be in the alley leading to Soi 13 have been replaced by restaurants. Ole German Beerhaus on Soi 13 but without many customers On the third and last day it was time for my photo shoot with Ammy Then, over to Soi 8 for dinner at Monsoon, this was as far west I went, never made it to Soi Nana, and Lolitas BJ off Soi 8 was closed. Had some Penne Seafood Pasta with a blueberry shake for 480. The Monsoon also serves Mexican, BTW, I've tried their taco salad. One of my favorite restaurants in lower Sukhumvit, good fusion food and not expensive. A very relaxing three days and two nights, and now it's time to head home. I'll be back next month when Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza re-open.
  5. 12 points
    Just a few pics from town today... Beach Rd end of Klang about midday. Showing how quiet it is, but far from the deserted images from the European major cities. Klang towards the beach. Beach Road looking South. The Beach looking South. The Beach looking North. The much changed exchange rates, Soi 7 Soi 8
  6. 11 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers and core coon crap for joining us once again, though you probably haven’t got much else to do at the moment. Ho hum. Predictably, the Kung Flu is still dominating the news in Pattaya. City Hall has announced that pretty much everything has been cancelled for the next six months, including Songkran, the Pattaya Music Festival and the Beach Road Frog Trampling Contest. A long list of cancelled events has been published, though most people don’t seem to have been aware that most of these events existed in the first place. As Joni Mitchell once said, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. And you probably don’t give a monkey’s bollock (she didn’t say that bit.) If that wasn’t enough, it was announced that tourists arriving from certain countries would be asked to quarantine themselves for 14 days. Not much fun if you’ve come to Thailand for a fortnight’s holiday. Though there’s not much chance of that for a while. There’s been some controversy over farangs not wearing masks in Thailand during the current outbreak. Thais seem to be of the opinion that foreigners should be respectful of their culture at this time. So you’ve been told. Wear a mask, eat lots of bugs and drive at 100 mph while pissed out of your mind. Pattaya hotels are refurbishing their rooms in anticipation of the return of the Chinese tourists. Here’s one they’ve just finished… A Chinese chap who’d been to visit Pattaya with a tour group was later found tied up and bundled into a suitcase that had been chucked into the sea. The cause of death hasn’t yet been established though police say they haven’t ruled out suicide. Makes you wonder what they have ruled out. The Health Minister got himself into a spot of hot water after pontificating that Europeans were dirty, didn’t take showers and brought coronavirus to Thailand while fleeing the disease in their own countries. So nothing to do with the Chinese then. Doesn’t come as any surprise really. It’s generally accepted that the Thais don’t like Westerners. Or Russians. Or Chinese. Or Indians. Come to think of it, they don’t seem to like each other too much. Let’s face it, they can’t abide anybody. Welcome to the Land of Smiles. Not content with his previous rant, the minister is now trying to get all the bars, restaurants and nightclubs to stay shut at least until Hell freezes over. Talk about kicking a country when it’s down. We hereby nominated him for the 2020 “Biggest Tosspot Since Purachai Award.” In more enlightened times this man would have been burned at the stake. Pattaya is already preparing to welcome the return of the Chinese tourists with a traditional Thai noose party… Bar news time, and even before the current shutdown it was all all doom and gloom with multiple closures, including three long-established names. Living Dolls Showcase, Heaven Above, Rich, Runway and Club Nevada have all bitten the dust in the last month. At this rate there won’t be any Go Go bars left in Pattaya by the summer, though it probably won’t matter because there won’t be any tourists either. A Thai bloke has been arrested for murder after killing his neighbour because he wouldn’t give him a cigarette. He apparently offed the poor fellow by beating him to death with a pipe. Must have been a bloody big pipe, like that one Sherlock Holmes used to smoke. Actually, if he had a pipe, why did he need a cigarette anyway? Silly bugger. Let’s take a magic carpet ride back to pre-virus days now with a peek at a trio of stories from Monkeywatch in March 2010… “Remember Naklua opening its own version of Walking Street that was going to give Pattaya a whole new image? Well, it’s closed down already. Just more proof if it were needed that social engineering in Pattaya is about as feasible as knitting fog. A worker was rushed to hospital the other week after suffering severe burns in the Nong Pla Lai district while erecting a neon sign outside a convenience store. Locals are referring to the incident as “the tragic events of 7/11”. Seventy people convicted of drunk driving offences have each been sentenced to six hours community service - presumably as baht bus drivers until they sober up.” Post–lockdown civil disorder has already begun in Pattaya with the murder of this wheelie bin… In order to increase demand for rubber, the Rubber Authority of Thailand is to use the substance for manufacturing anatomical models. Funny, thought those things were banned. As soon as the entertainment venues in Pattaya were closed down, there was a mass stampede of temporarily displaced staff to Koh Larn where they all ended up standing shoulder to shoulder like a very big tin of sardines. It would seem that the local government’s social distancing policy needs a spot of tweaking. However, they decided not to bother and just shut the island down completely. So having lost the Chinese and Indian tourists, they’ve now got rid of the Thais as well. Think they might have to adjust their 2020 tourism predictions down a tad. And to finish as we started on a Kung Flu story, all visitors to Thailand (if there are any) must now download an app that will allow the authorities to track them wherever they go. So presumably not owning a mobile phone means you’ll get deported. A bit harsh maybe, but very reminiscent of the British schoolmaster who used to invite some of the younger boys round to his house to see his new state-of-the-art tape recorder. Then the headmaster found out that he didn’t own a tape recorder and he was sent to prison. I mean, what kind of a society is it where a man can be jailed just because he doesn’t own a tape recorder? be seeing you monkeyman
  7. 10 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for dropping in, and welcome to this month’s look at the shenanigans in Patts, where things are carrying on as normal. Okay, so there are no bars, no Go Go’s, no restaurants, no girls, no alcohol and no going outside your house most of the time, but apart from that it’s business as usual. Well, the Pattaya curfew is well and truly in place and the police have said that anybody breaking it will face a prison sentence, though given the extent of the current lockdown that’s not really much of a deterrent. In fact, the lockdown in Pattaya is now so extreme that prisoners are being threatened with release if they don’t behave. At least they get fed in prison. Probably. Thais who aren’t getting fed are being helped out by food charity events. However, the organisers have recently been told that they must tell the police in advance before any events can be staged. Coincidentally, all the latest events seem to have police officers at the front of the queue. As if things weren’t bad enough, the alcohol sales ban in Pattaya has now been in place for two weeks and has yet another week to go. Thais are starting to ask why they’re being punished for this fiasco and wouldn’t it be better if someone just nuked some common sense into the Chinese. Drinking outside is also banned, though we reckon the police took this a bit too far when they arrested a Thai bloke who got pissed and fell out of his window with a bottle of whisky in his hand. If you’re still thinking of trying to visit Pattaya by some means, be sure to pack a shovel as the only way you’ll get in is to dig a tunnel. If you’re in Pattaya already, a member of the escape committee has informed us that three secret tunnels are currently under construction - Tom, Dick and Harry. A Thai girl said she’d found Dick in her bar but it turned out that she was talking about something else altogether. The authorities seem to have caught on already and have started to put up signs to discourage tunnelling… Thais make all this bloody fuss about us farangs wearing face masks, but their own are usually so badly fitted they may as well be wearing them on their arses. Come to think of it, they’d probably do more good if they did. Pattaya’s Grand Bella Hotel has volunteered to become a field hospital to help in the battle against the nasty bug. Very commendable of course, but one suspects they won’t be inundated with bookings when things return to normal – whatever that is. There’s even been some wild stories of people with the virus coming back from the dead as zombies, though it seems that they were actually Chinese tourists who hadn’t caught it at all. Looking at this, one wishes we could go back to how things were only last year. Oh, hang on, this photo was taken six months ago… Bar news now. They’re all shut – except the ones that aren’t. Sorry officer, didn’t see a thing. Local Thai residents have formed groups called ‘Covid Killers’ to help fight the outbreak in their localities. Don’t fancy their chances of success as the equipment they’ve been issued with appears to consist of a magnifying glass and a hammer. Time to step away from the madness for a moment with couple of ancient tales from Monkeywatch in April 2010… “Meanies in the Thai Government have decided to increase the tax on alcohol this month to discourage all you naughty boys from getting too pissed during Songkran. The increase will be 20 baht per 100ml for drinks containing up to 12 per cent alcohol and 40 baht for anything stronger, so only use bars that water down the drinks. That shouldn’t limit your choice too much. There’s also been some outrageous talk of a further 20 baht tax on drinks sold to foreigners in bars. Perhaps someone should remind them that they’re the bloody foreigners. Last Thursday, the Mayor of Pattaya received a gift of 50 cardboard coffins that are apparently for the use of foreigners. Good idea. All they have to do now is put them under hotel balconies and wait.” Not a name that inspires confidence… The Thai Ministry of Commence has asked shops to cut the price of palm oil by two baht per bottle. Well how about that - they’ve come up with a lockdown exit strategy already. A warehouse in Banglamung burned to the ground a couple of weeks back in a huge fire that could be seen for miles. A large crowd gathered to witness the event, which was described by one onlooker as “the nearest thing to entertainment we’ve seen this month.” When this pandemic thingy is all over and done, Hollywood will no doubt be looking to cash in with a movie version of the whole debacle. Maybe they could call it “Wuhan Flu Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.” be seeing you monkeyman
  8. 10 points
    Recently took a trip to northern Thailand, flew VietJet from Bangkok for 641 baht each way, but no checked baggage and only one carry-on, so I took all my photos with my phone. Stayed at the Ramming Lodge once again, has a nice monger's sound to it. Couldn't wait for a bowl of Khao Soi, so I ordered one at the airport as soon as I landed. Otherwise, I'll let the photos tell the story. MAE HONG SON PAI
  9. 9 points
    Thought I make the most of the hot weather (without knowing that today was going to be the hottest day of the year so far) and take myself down to the River Thames for a walk. Started in Brentford, over Kew bridge and down the towpath, through Richmond to stop of for a few beers at work, and then carried down to Teddington where I called it a day and took the bus home! IMG_9783.MP4
  10. 9 points
    So quiet and social distancing in Big-CX. I believe this used to be an 'Erotic Massage' place on Soi Buakhao, perhaps recently mentioned by @tallguy it is no more. Also Nemo's on Buakhao still shut, didn't think to check the one on Soi Diana. Nearby traditional places open. The rate on the street today, a TT Exchange is open! Hellfire crossing, with many fewer casualties these days. Soi Pothole looking quiet to the East...... And the West.... A few minutes earlier I was told 'no customer, no have money, hungry......' Not sure if I covered this with my tip....... I would have got more pics but rain drove me to the Mall.
  11. 9 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to this month’s disease ridden edition. Masks on and off we go. The big story at the moment is of course the spreading of the Woohoo Flu to Thailand. The authorities have issued various guidelines in an attempt to keep holidaymakers safe, such as wear a mask, keep away from wild animals and if you see a Chinese tourist, shoot first and ask questions later. Pattaya Hospital has announced that is now fully equipped to deal with the virus – they’ve just received a consignment of coffins and body bags. The Thai government is considering extending Songkran this year to increase tourism. Would’ve thought that was the one thing guaranteed to decrease it. Refreshingly honest… A cheeky thief snatched the bag of a Chinese tourist who was standing right next to a police box in North Pattaya the other week. Police immediately set of in pursuit of the miscreant but were unable to apprehend him. When the officers returned they found that their police box had been stolen. Thieves in most places will steal anything that isn’t nailed down. In Pattaya they’ll steal it anyway and take the nails as well. A serial pickpocket has been arrested yet again, this time for picking the pocket of an Indian tourist. When asked what kind of person would choose an Indian tourist to pickpocket, the miscreant replied “Somebody who needs a new pocket.” Reminisce as we waft you back in time with a trio of memories from Monkeywatch in February 2010… “A Russian tourist was sliced in two by a speedboat the other Monday whilst swimming in a boating channel off the coast of Koh Larn. A police spokesman said they were still trying to locate the man’s other half, though it’s unclear at this stage whether or not they were referring to his wife. The other Monday, a street vendor staggered into Dongtan Police Station to report that he had been robbed at gunpoint while selling bags to tourists. A statement from the police said that this was a clear case of Bagman and Robbin’. A Norwegian bloke made a complaint to Pattaya Police the other week that 34,675 baht had gone missing from his hotel safety deposit box. He was immediately arrested for pedantry and placed on the sex offenders’ register.” City Hall was ordered to submit plans for a green transport initiative. This is what they came up with… A bit of bar news now, and Harem has reclosed, reopened and reclosed, whereas Party Girlz, not to be outdone, has reopened, reclosed, reopened again and reclosed again. Pulse has also just closed but this one looks to be more permanent. The Dark Knight rises on LK Metro with the opening of Rise, which uses the Batman logo in its sign. Perhaps they should’ve called it Even Newer Bat. Angel has closed too as the number of Go Go’s continues its steady decline. Black Snake Club, however, has been de-poofterized and is now a coyote bar avec girlies. Expect a closure soon. A local boat captain had a bit of a surprise earlier this month when he spotted what he had initially thought to be a dead dog in the water but was actually a dead deer. He said he’d no previous experience of dead deer though he’d heard that farangs often use the expression when visiting Go Go bars. Speaking of floaty dead things, a swarthy chap of indeterminate ethnicity has been found floating in Pattaya Bay with an 8 kilogram stone hanging round his neck. Police are running checks to see if any Elizabeth Taylor impersonators have been reported missing. Looks like at least one Chinese tour group has managed to get to Pattaya… Despite the massive drop in Chinese tourists, ferries are still running to Koh Larn, but the operators say they may not be able to keep running with the reduced passenger number as the boats are now only 50 percent overloaded. A man is being sought by police for threatening staff in a traditional Thai massage shop when the masseuse refused to give him a “happy ending”. The strange thing is that this wasn’t some dumb newbie tourist but actually a Thai dude. It’s one thing not understanding a foreign culture but not understanding your own? Silly bugger. Suppose we can’t close without mentioning the Brit bloke who had to call an ambulance after ripping the end of his dick off while shagging his hourly rental girlfriend in a particularly vigorous manner. Not so much a dickhead as a no dickhead. be seeing you monkeyman
  12. 9 points
    Update on the Beach Rd drainage project. Concrete drain forms in place and ready for use on the north end. Breaking up the existing pavement is now up to Soi 2. And digging commences at Soi 3. They've tied the trees to each other to keep the ones closest to the road from toppling over due to soil erosion. This is odd. Where's the connecting drain south of Soi 6. Gutters and pavement being poured just north of Klang intersection. Turned my camera to sea and what do I see. Only two parasailers in the air this morning. South of Klang, drain covers going in. Around Soi 8, gutter work is pretty much done. With the exception of a few places where drain access points are being worked on. Boardwalk across from Mike's Mall is looking very rough and on its last legs. South of Soi 12, only the curbs need to be installed. New curbs installed up to Royal Garden Plaza. If it were me, I would have installed curbs at least twice as high to keep more of the storm water from flowing onto the footpath. At the south end, work still needs to be done to connect to the pumping station. Anyone need a used IV bag. Quite the garbage pit on the south end. No way would I want to step on this access lid.
  13. 8 points
    The south end of Beach Road, from Baywalk to Walking street, is a mess at the moment. It appears that the road is being dug up to instal drains. However, if you can read Thai, perhaps you can let us know what these signs say. Work is taking place between Walking Street and Soi 13/3, but the road has been broken up, and access prevented, as far as Baywalk. As a pedestrian, you need to walk on the east side of the road. Just to encourage you, they have taken up some of the boardwalk on the beach side. Traffic is down to one lane from Soi 13/3, so traffic jams are inevitable.
  14. 8 points
    Had a nice ride out to Huai Chak Nok Reservoir today. The water situation is looking pretty dire there too. Google Earth view of the photo stops today. I've also noted the change in the water's edge since the last update on 28 December. Pic 1 Pic 2 For comparison, pic from 28 December Pic 3: Workers taking advantage of the low water levels to dig a channel into the shallow part of the reservoir. Should help in future draughts as they won't have to set up pumps to get the water from the shallow areas into the main body of water. Pic 4 Pic 5 Pic 6: Interesting erosion lines and rock structures in the exposed lakebed. Pic 7 Final pic is looking at the south end of the reservoir on the other side of the road.
  15. 8 points
    Here's an account of my first visit to Pattaya, in March of 2002 - I'd been in BKK for ten days on my first ever visit and had spent most of it with one freelancer, and it was time to move on: This would be our last night together – I knew I had to get a look at Pattaya before my trip came to a close, and I was getting a little weary of Tai’s constant company anyway. She was a nice enough girl, but when you are a single man surrounded by so much beauty every day, the eye cannot help but wander… the streets of Bangkok seemed to be filled with gorgeous women, whether bar workers or not, and I just drank it in every minute of every day. I don’t remember what we did that night, probably went out to eat somewhere, and the next day we caught a taxi to Ekamai bus station. It seems to me the price for a ticket was very cheap, about 90-100 baht or so. Then I went out to the queue waiting to board the bus, and joined it after loading my bags into the bus. Well, I had just gotten to the door – we’d already said our goodbyes – and was preparing to board the bus, when the women at the door said no, next bus!! So I had to leave the line, take my bags off the bus and wait a few minutes for the next one! Once settled into that, I waved goodbye to Tai and away we went. Now Tai had mentioned to me before that she had formerly worked as a cook in Singapore for a while, and was expecting a call any day to go back there; I really didn’t expect to see her again, and neither of us had a mobile so I felt very much single again – whoopee, time for some more fun! The ride to Pattaya took about three hours on the bus, but seemed to take forever. The seat was hard and excruciatingly uncomfortable, and it was hot as well, and it wasn’t long before my ass was going to sleep and I had to constantly keep changing positions to restore some circulation to my nether regions. Then as we got closer to our final destination, I kept seeing posters in English advertising a weekend long music festival in Pattaya starting on this day!! Well, this gave me serious misgivings as I had no hotel reservation, and having lived in tourist destinations myself before, I was well aware of what special events like this can do for the availability of accommodation. Well, we finally got there and I dragged my weary ass off the bus wondering what to do next. On the bus station wall there was a sign advertising hotel rooms so I thought I’d take the easy way out and check into it. Of course I heard the words I had been dreading, “oh sorry, no rooms, hotel all full”. Jeez, don’t let this happen to me, thinks I – not in this heat, and in this strange place. So I replied, look – this is a major tourist resort, it’s gotta be full of hotels, and somebody somewhere must have a room. Okay, I make call, see if can find. First, he buggered around with a few other things while I stood there and overheated, worrying about where I would go from there. Finally he made one call and said he had found a room for me at the Welcome Inn Plaza - fine, I said – wondering why he had jerked me around at first when it was apparently as easy as making one phone call. Just having fun with the farang, I guess. I was guided into the back of the baht bus, somewhat pissed off, hot, tired and a little apprehensive as to where this thing would be taking me. As it turned out I had nothing to worry about as the bus dropped me off right at the hotel, and it turned out to be not a bad place, and for what I thought was a good price as well. I got settled in, took a much needed shower, and headed out to check out the town. (It was the Welcome Inn Plaza, a little old and worn even in those days but couldn't beat the location!) First I had to get across 2nd Road – somewhat daunting to a newbie, and I sure missed those pedestrian overpasses on Sukhumvit. There was an ATM just on the other side of the road, and with baht in wallet I was ready for action. It was great, there were so many bars everywhere, and the beer prices were cheap too. I was alone for the first time in days, and I was going to have some fun. I realized right off the bat that it was extremely unlikely that I would run into Rick (an older English fellow who was the first farang I met in BKK and hung around with for a few days) – there were just too many venues and he had gone there without making a hotel reservation either. As it turned out later, he had left the day before I arrived anyway. I kept skipping from bar to bar, and having a beer or two in each one. It was like being a kid in a candy store, always something (or someone) new to discover, and no shortage of propositions either. The beer was going down great. At some point in that night, though, things got woozy and I started to black out – I remember sitting in a little bar somewhere around Soi Post Office, then the next thing I recall was being led up a flight of stairs in what appeared to be an apartment block, hand in hand with a girl. My next lucid memory is sitting on the floor of a room with minimal furnishings – the first time I had been in what was obviously a short time place – with my pants down, and with a girl trying with not much success to give me a hand job. She had her top off but was still wearing a short skirt, and I looked at her and said “are you a ladyboy?” She just gave me a demure smile and kept on working away. I kept slipping in and out of consciousness as this was going on, but I do remember clearly asking her this question three times, and never getting any answer…. When I came to again, I was making my way down the stairs alone thinking to myself “What the f**k was all that about?!?” The next time consciousness returned I was lying face down on one of the twin single beds in my room at 4:00AM fully clothed. I lifted my head and looked around me and damned if there wasn’t a girl in the other bed! I didn’t remember a thing about meeting her or getting back to the hotel. I got up and had something from the fridge to drink, and she woke up and moved in the other bed. “Who are you?” says I. “Poo”, says she. How romantic. Well, she’d hooked up with me somewhere and managed to get me back to the hotel, Buddha bless her. I still didn’t remember a damn thing. So off came my clothes and I jumped into bed with her, but really didn’t feel like any sex at that point, so we just cuddled up for a while and went back to sleep. I gave her a few hundred baht in the morning and sent her on her way – I could see she was disappointed that I didn’t give her more, but we didn’t have sex anyway. Now I regret having that attitude at the time, I should have paid her the going rate plus a tip just for getting me back to the hotel and saving me from further trouble. Live and learn again… Now it is obvious to me that there was more involved here than just beer. I am a big, solid guy in his mid 40’s who has been drinking beer more or less steadily since I was 16, and there is just no way I get into this kind of mess from doing that alone. I will have occasional memory lapses, but not like I had that night. Also, no matter how drunk I am I still manage to get my clothes off before falling into bed. No, there is no doubt in my mind that somebody slipped drugs into my drink. The next morning I had no real hangover, and just felt a little tired – again, if I had drunk enough booze to incapacitate me in this manner, I would have had one hell of a hangover, no matter what I was drinking. I emerged from the hotel around noon or so and headed off for refreshments. At one little beer bar I struck up a conversation with a Brit about the same age as me, and we were joined a little later by a young Swedish guy with long blonde hair and blue eyes, a handsome face and a real easy going attitude. I couldn’t help but thinking at the time that this young Adonis must have been knocking the bargirls dead all over Pattaya; he would have been popular enough amongst women of his own race – lucky fella. Anyway, the three of us barhopped and played pool for a while, and they decided it was time for a trip to the Pump Station, unbeknownst to me the premier blowjob bar in Pattaya. I was starting to fade by this time, though, and I declined and found my way back to the room for a nap instead. I never did see either of these two again, but that’s the way it is in Pattaya – you make these fleeting friendships along the way with people from all over the world, and it is lots of fun. I slept for a couple of hours and woke up feeling just like new. Back to the bars again – I did the rounds of a few beer bars and then hit the gogos. What kind of girl would I end up with tonight? Now I tend to lump the bg’s into three general physical classifications: Pixie – the tiny ones Slinky – taller and very slender Chunky – more voluptuous, bigger tits but usually a little more padding as well. No matter what the type – and the lines often do blur between them, I will admit – there is one thing that any woman who catches my eye must have, and that is that lovely curving flare from waste to hip. A decent bust also serves to enhance this curve, which to me is the essence of womanhood and results in that classic hourglass figure. Tonight I’d decided on a pixie, and I found a hot one in one of the go-go bars on Pattayaland 1 or 2. It wasn’t that late, but I’d had enough to drink for the night. She must have been about 4’10” and 40kg, just right, and had her hair in dreadlocks which didn’t really appeal to me that much, but she seemed to have a good attitude. On the way home I picked her up piggyback and ran along the street with her for a way, amusing some of the other farangs on the sidewalk – she hardly weighed anything. I had a decent session with her, but no sooner had we finished than she was itching to leave – fair enough, I paid her s/t rather than the l/t I had intended and off she went. She had told me she was 21, but I saw her photo on her bar’s website later and it said she was 18 – who can tell? I didn’t know much about their ID cards at that time, and of course I naively assumed that if they were old enough to work in the bar then they were old enough to take out of it – another thing you can’t and shouldn’t take for granted in Thailand. Well, as I mentioned it still wasn’t that late, so I relaxed for a while and then decided to go out again. I visited a few more gogos and then eventually I ended up in the Dollhouse, and my eye landed on one sweet thing that just looked lovely on the stage. She was young, and seemed a little more shy than some of the other dancers. She saw me gawking at her, and gave me a little smile now and then. I decided to check her out, and when she was rotated off the stage I waved her over and bought her a lady drink. She had almost no English, but had this lovely innocent look to her that I found appealing, and I ended up barfining her and taking her back to the room soon after. We stopped to pick up the key, and I got hit up for a 300 baht joiner fee! I mentioned the fact that I hadn’t had to pay last night, but the desk clerk insisted, and she put it right on the bill too, so I could see it wasn’t going in anyone’s pocket. I wasn’t charged the next night, and it was the same inconsistency I had noted in the Ruamchit in Bangkok. Into the bathroom for the obligatory shower, and out she came – and I was horrified to see that her face was an absolute mess of pimples – the make-up had hidden everything. I felt sorry for the poor little thing, because she was so attractive otherwise. We had a little session, but the booze, recent sex, and condom all took their toll and I was unable to finish things off – she asked in her little-girl voice, “you feenees?” No, mai pen rai, go to sleep, little one…she left quite early, around 6:AM – as I was to learn later, quite common with gogo girls, not so much beer bar girls, who often have to be almost pushed out the door the next afternoon! I am looking at this girl’s photo as I write this, and she looks about 16 years old – be careful out there, guys – even the bigger gogos hire underage girls sometimes. The next day I just cruised around and idly explored more beer bar areas – ending up in one on Beach Road not far from Soi 8 a little later in the afternoon. I ended up chatting up and barfining a nice-looking girl from there. She was more of a “slinky” type, about 5’7” or so, with a smaller bust but those aforementioned flaring hips that catch my eye so effectively. It was some distance from the hotel, but she said she liked to walk so we had a nice stroll back to the hotel, and a pleasant session. I could tell she really didn’t want to leave, but I had decided to check out a “pizza night” at a local bar that supports a well-known internet forum (this one, I might add - all of these years later-and the bar was the FLB, of course), and decided to go it alone. I watched her fine figure walking across the hotel parking lot from my 8th story window, and I thought I could see a little slump in her shoulders – I really think she wanted me to take her out for the evening and maybe I should have; she was a nice girl and spoke decent English. I met the same girl a year later, and she just didn’t seem the same somehow; the lifestyle does wear on them. I went to the pizza night and met a few fellow “boardies”, and then struck out on my own again. I checked out a few bars, but just couldn’t make up my mind what I was looking for that night. Finally I ended up in one of the “Spicy Girl” gogos not too far from the hotel – it was pretty dead but I sat down to have a drink anyway. By this time it was around 12:30AM, and there were only two or three girls dancing. No sooner had my beer arrived than one of them stepped off the stage and sat beside me, and said “Please pay bar me! I so bored, no customah, I tired dance”. Well, this was one bg who was being honest – the place was boring and I could empathize with her totally at that point. So I thought, what the hell – I can’t make up my mind anyway, she’s as good as any, let’s go! I bought her a lady drink and we left shortly after. Now she was halfway between slinky and chunky – no stunner but fairly attractive; she had a lovely personality and was really hot in bed – the best of the trip by far. A great kisser, instantly wet, and very sensual. In the morning she delighted me by jumping my bones again on her own accord – now that’s an attitude I could get used to! This is definitely one girl I would have taken again for more than a night or two – a real sweetie. I’ve found on travels since that it is often these spur of the moment decisions that result in the best experiences, and usually happen when it is late enough, and I am drunk enough that I am no longer trying to think much about finding someone better later on. It also seems to happen that you find the real sweeties on your last night in town, which this was – I only had two nights left and wanted to spend them in Bangkok before heading home. I didn’t have enough money to pay her, so she accompanied me across 2nd Road to the ATM, where I had to pay her in the street – not what I like to do, but I had to get going. I was genuinely sorry to see her go – I certainly would have seen her again. Then I went and hired a taxi – no more trips on that wretched bus for me – and made my way back to Bangkok, and my last couple of days in Paradise. Footnote – while getting my gear together, I changed my pants and realized that the zipper on my money belt was partially open – what’s this? I opened it all the way and discovered that a $100 bill I had been saving was missing. Somebody got a good score….I hadn’t checked it for days, and it could have been any of the aforementioned girls. Money belts are safe if you are wearing them, but an invitation if you are not…I’m a lot more careful nowadays. I couldn't wait to go back after this trip - I scoured the internet for every bit of info I could find over the next ten months and was much better prepared upon my return, when I stayed for a month - and I've returned every year since. This lightly-edited account was originally published as a Stickman submission in 2005 - unfortunately, my original photos from that trip have been lost..
  16. 8 points
    2003: I met a freelancer in BKK who suggested Pattaya. We were based in Jomtien and she (wisely) never took me over the hill to the bright lights of Walking St. For 2 weeks, we had romance, beach, and lots of seafood. Then one night she made the mistake of taking me to Walking St and she was sent packing the next morning while I moved to a hotel right on Walking St! Day and night, I lived and breathed Walking St. I didn't have a wingman so I stayed near the hotel 24/7. I met Mimi from Peppermint A Gogo and she stayed with me every night after work. The aircon and cable TV made me more attractive....
  17. 8 points
    I'll have even money most of us have seen something in Pattaya which ticks one or all three of the above boxes. How many remember The Glitter Man? - A well educated and articulate European Genteman who spent his afternoons riding around town like this (photo credit to Stickman): He did bring happiness into peoples lives and I spoke to him a few times, a very affable and chatty guy. I think that ticks the "Odd" box. For "bad", well we have so many examples to choose from, but for me, the tragic story of a baby girl being found dead on wasteland near Jomtien, with the umbilical cord still attached is the most heartbreaking and sad, simply because the poor girl never even had a chance given to her. To think she was crying and reaching out for help, food and love while I , and literally hundreds of others who would have stopped at nothing to have helped her were probably sat in a GoGo bar somewhere within 10 minutes drive is galling. The Weird. One particular day I'd decided I'd had enough "quiet" nights in (2 on the trot due to a bug), so I had 3 days worth of saved cash at 77 baht to the pound, which was give or take, was around 24k in baht. I decided to make myself feel better to get a haircut, a shave and a face spa, so headed out to the Salon where I left after an hour looking and feeling great. That evening I had my sights set on really kicking the arse out of it, full on fun. Barfining possibly 2 good looking girls for a song pooying, or pinging a stunner. Either way I wanted it to be a night to remember. I dressed up in some good clothes, new jeans, shirt, plenty of aftershave. Even the grumpy cow of a receptionist at the Residence Garden told me I looked great and smiled. I was set. But I wasn't. I was totally invisible. Girls simply ignored me. My first stop of Pattayaland 2 GGB's yielded nothing, even Mistys drew a blank. Girls were either Barfined, expecting to be barfined and in more than one case, didn't want to be barfined. My ego was beginning to take a bit of a hammering, and in the back of my mind an element of doubt began to creep in. I moved onto Walking Street, heading to the recently opened "What's Up" GGB, knowing an Ex Lipstick hottie was working there who preferred the colour of baht over everything. I knew that she would be up for a barfine and at this point was was beginning to field the outlandish idea that I'll pay 2k baht LT. I entered Whats up, she was on the stage so I immediately got the Waitress to get her a drink and for her to come down and sit, which she did after 2 dances, but not with me. Everywhere else was the same, I was running down blind alleys, Club EB , Dollhouse , Happy, peppermint, Catz, Boesche, Paris and even X Zone. The girls weren't ignoring me, but I was running into excuse after excuse not to be barfined, and the ones that were an option were not the ones I wanted, by any stretch of the imagination. By now I had almost given up, so I decided to have a drink in the last chance saloon, Marine Bar. Nothing but an Euro trash sausage fest. Insomnia at this time was located near the Arab Quarter, having just opened so I gave it a miss and ventured to Hollywood Pattaya. Loud music, plenty of girls but only one of me. After an hour and nursing a bruised ego as well as arguably the biggest anti climax since the Y2K bug, I decided to walk back to my Hotel. I didn't even look at the receptionist. I refused to meet her eyes as they would be able to read the true depths of my despair and sorrow, not to mention embarassment. Upon entering my bedroom I thought to myself I must be the only 30 year old guy in Pattaya with 20k baht in his pocket who couldn't even find a girl. It was a night to remember alright.
  18. 8 points
    Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though, it can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over. New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have kerb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the kerb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the boot increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger. This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace when it becomes troublesome.
  19. 7 points
    It is getting warmer out there... Meteorologiste.mp4
  20. 7 points
    It seems breakfast is not one of your talents. Eather stay in bed and avoid it, or follow the breakfast rules adhered to by the civilised world. 1. Breakfast to be conducted at a low volume. Shouting "HEY BURT WHAT THE FRICKIN FRICK IS THIS? " in the buffet queue is unacceptable. 2. There may well be people around with hangovers. They will certainly stick to rule 1. Unless confronted by a confused loud person who. Instead of getting on with breakfast in a quite orderly manner, is now holding everyone up to take buffet pictures. Then you may hear a quiet. "Twat" being aimed in your direction. Take the hint and stop fucking about. 3. If in doubt stick to tea/coffee and toast. If the toaster looks like it might be a technical challenge for you, quietly admit you are a breakfast novice an skip the toast. Maybe you can come back later and have a practice when everyone else has finished. 4. If your other half is visually offensive or prone to talking.. Don't take her to breakfast!
  21. 7 points
    A549BCA9-3314-4B17-BA4E-C0AA5695E022.MP4
  22. 7 points
    For me, it started a few weeks ago when I was listening to the news on TV. Had Duterte just shut down Manila for a month, did I hear that right. Checked the internet and for sure 3-hours ago, 6-hours ago reports say it was true. It was way back in November, I had planned to get away from Songkran for nearly a month in the Philippines. (Songkran has now been cancelled) I had planned a bit of island hopping going to Coron, El Nido, Puerta Princesa and then 10-days in Sabang, Puerta Gallera to finish off, a place of last years Philippine report trip. On my morning walk took my Passport and stopped off at the Thai Air office at the top of Beach Road near the Dusit. The place was packed, could not even get to the ticket machine so I give it a miss and would try again in the afternoon. My first thought was... are all these guys going to Angeles. In the afternoon the office was empty so picked a number and walked straight up to the desk. Told I would get a full refund but wait for it, expect to wait 45-days. WTF Thai Air will probably go bust by then. I also have a July trip booked on BA to Heathrow. This could also be sliding away depending on events. Then came the warning of bar closures. It was Wednesday and I am always optimistic I would find a bar open. A walk down soi 6 confirmed the worst as all the bars were in darkness a few bars had the shutters half way down with girls sitting on the floor eating and talking. A walk up soi 7 and to my surprise, the bars were open but it felt just like the Kings Funeral with all the bars in semi darkness and no music, total silence. The girls were wondering what they were going to do and after a number of visits (warnings) by the police the bars on soi 7 closed at 12-midnight. On the Thursday there were guys wandering the streets looking for a saviour. I was one of them. Took the GF out to eat roast duck at the Leng kee restaurant on Pattaya Klang and consumed a number of large Chang from the promotion girl at their special price of 100 baht. With my Philippine trip down the pan and the bars all shut I needed a holiday and it was time to get the hell out of Dodge. That night packed my case and the following day set off in the direction of Hua Hin to my regular stop at the Tanawit hotel and spa. The beer bar area in the town was closed and the place looked deserted. Had my mandatory Hawaiian pizza in Roberto's Italian restaurant with large Leo's. Only one bar was open at the back of the Hilton Hotel near to the beach. It was full so went into one of the restaurants nearby on stilts overlooking the sea. No problem just ordering beer. Then went to check out the night market close to my hotel and it was kicking with the C.O. Bar doing good business. C.O Bar in the market After my morning walk down the beach, a croissant and a 7-Eleven coffee drove South down to Surat Thani to the Orchid Riverside Hotel where I have stayed before. On checking in, all the staff have masks and have the infra red temp gun zapped on my head to show 37 degrees. Around 200 yards away there is an exercise park on the island and next to it an excellent restaurant by the river called Crossroads, this time it was large Leo's shared between two. View from Crossroads Restaurant Surat Thani After a 7-Eleven coffee an early start by my standards to the Raja Ferry Port at Donsak which is around 45-minutes drive with very few cars on the road. Saw the Raja turn off sign too late as I was going too fast but from the Garmin GPS carried on the road another few clicks and found a PTT petrol station to tank up the car. Would expect gas more expensive on the island. (was 3-baht per litre more) Drive 5-minutes and passed the Seatran ferry port and then to the Raja ferry where the pre-check-in is another temperature check on your head and a stamp on the back of my hand. 520 baht is the price of the ticket for car and driver + 1 passenger to Koh Samui. The queue is short and 15-minutes later have parked on board and sat in the upper air con lounge. Queue is very short Only 6-passengers upstairs, a few with face masks. Others stay in their cars and pick ups. 90-minutes or so and we are docking. Road signs are pretty shit and I make two wrong turns before I see a sign for Lamai. Have been to Koh Samui twice in my 'party days' in 2003 and 2006 when it was ramming, staying on Chaweng Beach at the Coral Beach Resort but this time decided a little quiet time in Lamai was in order. Stopped at the Best Resort which cost 900 baht a night with parking, a room overlooking the swimming pool with a/c no frills and book for 2-nights so I can get my bearings. Coconut bar and Bamboo restaurant on the beach does a big English breakfast for 100 baht. A SML is 70 and big bottles of Leo 100. Bamboo Restaurant Beach Grand father/ mother Rocks shaped like cock and pussy Walk one street back and all the bars are in full swing with customers. Some beer bars have girls but no music. The last time I was here, hired a motor bike and checked out Lamai but did not find all the beer bar areas and now it looks like there are more than Chaweng. Drive around to Chaweng beach and the road is half dug up. Reminds me of Beach Road in Pattaya. All the road dug up Drive into Central Festival to park. Have passport copied and temperature check before entering. This mall is open air and far too hot for walking around. Checked out the Coral Beach Resort which may have been taken over by Ark Bar where I stayed years ago. It was boarded up and closed. Coral Beach Resort may now be Ark Bar Closed no customers A bar in town is selling beer and is open till 10pm, the guy welcomes us to come in but it is far too early Bar area not a girl in sight In Lamai I find some restaurants have stopped selling beer, some are open till 6pm and some till 10pm. I guess it is who has connections or pays with brown envelopes. There are still foreigners on holiday out on the beach oblivious of flight cancellations. The night market may as well pack up as there are no customers. Why set a stall no fallang A day or so later all the bars in town closed and so did the night market. Bar Area closed Moved a few hundred yards down the road to the Coconut Beach Resort which has big rooms, English tv, swimming pool, gym and sun loungers on the beach, negotiated a deal for 1000 baht a night. Booked for 5-nights with the intention of staying longer depending on the situation. There are two Coconut beach resorts the other is called Coconut beach Lamai. Hotel. Pool. Beach sunbeds. Ideal location One man and his dog Bo Phut view of Koh Phangan (monthly moon party) Santiburi Golf Club very expensive A look on Booking.com and it was advertised at over 1800 baht a night but I think we are the only ones here. Restaurants on the beach are still selling food and booze. At breakfast, told by restaurant staff to wear a face mask when going out around town. Very few people are out now. Everyone in Tesco Lotus and Big C wearing masks, more temperature checks and sanitiser on entering. Less tourists are now left around the beach. Blue sky, lovely blue sea and fresh air (AQI under 20) To get rid of my Pattaya cough. My routine has now changed. No more staying out till midnight. A full English breakfast. A drive around the island to another beach. Sight seeing. A lounge on a sun bed and swim sea/pool. Out early doors for beers on the beach and then a meal. A few beers/Sam Song coke on the beach with the GF, I have a cool bag. Early night around 9 to 10pm Watch a movie for an hour or two. Always useful to have a cool bag with ice Book another three then another two more nights in this hotel as the place is ok. Phuket is going under a curfew, sounds like there already is one in Pattaya as everything is closed after 10pm. Will there be a lock-down, a lot of speculation. There needs to be a heads up. If I get stuck here for a month or two it would not be the end of the world. Have checked out some beach resorts for a long term stay, around 10,000 baht a month. Hear that the hotel next to the restaurant I am drinking in has 3-Russian tourists. They want to get rid of them as they want to close. Most hotels along the beach have closed with signs saying open in July. Is that really 2020 optimistic? As of today Samui has a population of around 70,000 locals. And there are only 3-confirmed cases on Samui, Two are French guys, one coming back from France and the other from the Philippines. The other is a Thai doctor. Koh Phangnan the moon party island has zero cases. Pattaya has a population of 320,000 / Chonburi 1.5 million population with 38 cases including 2-Brits. I keep distance, wear a mask in shops and think on the whole it is safer to be down here for the time being. I did try to buy the malaria tablets chloroquine and Azilthromycin at a chemist but the doctor told me the hospital has taken full control of these drugs. The ironic thing is a few years ago I cleaned out my medicine cabinet and threw away these pills (I used them in my Africa days) I still have a supply of Lariam which was considered a substitute. It is like a delaying tactic but sure as hell the same rules are regulations are working their way down to Samui. (Surat Thani Province) Still serve beer on the beach till 6pm but now only do take-aways. All right for the GF as the food carts are her staple diet. Time to call it a day and go home tomorrow. Time to go home Got there in time for the 8am ferry but looks like schedules have changed as it sailed after 9am then spent 30-minutes waiting for a berth at the Donsak mainland. 11:30 and we disembark with half the day gone. The drive back is pleasing with no traffic, one checkpoint asking where we go, the next is a pull over and a temperature check. The GF wants to visit her home in Isaan but driving today I have only seen one empty bus and one taxi in 6-hours. It is after 5:30pm and I have had enough so pull into Prachaup Kiri Khan which is only around 10-minutes off the main drag. Stayed here before at the Beach hotel and dinned upstairs in a small restaurant overlooking the sea obviously this time it was closed. Decide to try the Prachaup Grand which was a walk in rate of 1400 baht with breakfast. Only one other car in the parking lot. The Agoda rate is only 10 baht less so will not be running around to pay at a 7-Eleven. Nice room, restaurant open, we are the only ones here. Only around 10 things on the menu but the Pad Se Ew Chicken was excellent washed down with 3-Leo's at 60 baht each. After breakfast set off with the drive to Pattaya expecting more checkpoints as I read Pattaya is going to be locked down. The drive around the coast is quiet with only a build up of traffic around Bangkok and over the Chao Phraya River bridge. Eventually arrive Pattaya without one temperature check. A few checkpoints but just waved through mostly stopping pick up trucks. Take from this trip: I felt like I was a storm chaser but chasing beer and food with the rules and regulations changing by the day. I have experienced a beach holiday for the first time in years and it was a pleasant change. Blue sky, blue sea and clean air. All roads are well back from the beach with very little traffic. It has given me another option from my regular trips to Hua Hin and Koh Chang which are just over 4-hours. For me, this trip needs a day stop over as it is a tad over 800 kilometers. Now I am back in Pattaya I can still walk down the beach, it is not closed. (there were quite a few girls yesterday afternoon) and swim in the pool but I am now going to be oblivious to the passing of time. I used to know what day it was by what I was going to eat and now the weekends have no sport, one day is just the same as any other. One thing I know for sure is I would still rather be here than the UK. There are many food carts on soi Buakhao, I picked up a white grilled fish today, yesterday was ribs from Big C. Cheap Charlies and The Hungry Monkey look like they are doing take away so I will not go short. And as for drinking at home, maybe it is time to cut down on the beer and loose a few kilo.
  23. 7 points
    Line at Thai Airways office this morning. Road into New Plaza getting a scrub. First thing that caught my eye was the free food part. Thought, that's a nice gesture in these trying times. Alas, once my brain caught up to what my eyes were seeing I realized she was using an old Korando's Bar party poster for a tablecloth.
  24. 7 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, a very Merry Christmas to one and all, and welcome to the last of this year’s peeks into the crevices of Slob City. Let the festivities commence. A new German documentary has done a proper hatchet job on Pattaya, reporting that the place is about as safe as Chicago was in the 1920s with fraud, scams, muggings, bag snatchings and assaults happening on an hourly basis. The local police rose to the challenge immediately by ordering a crackdown on nudity in Go Go bars. And if that wasn’t enough, there have also been reports that pollution in Bangkok has risen to record levels, so we can expect that sour-faced little troll from Sweden to start flapping her jaw as well. Pattaya tourism is suffering a catastrophic decline according to a new report, with high season booking showing a 20 per cent decline from last year. It goes on to say that the Chinese and Koreans are buggering off to Vietnam in increasing numbers and that Pattaya’s last hope lies with Indian tourists. No, stop laughing for a minute, the report claims that they spend an average of 10,000 baht each per day. Okay, you can start laughing again now. It also states they tend to travel in groups of 20-30 (and all on the same bloody baht bus most of the time.) And just to prove the point… If you’re planning to visit Jomtien, it may be prudent to avoid engaging in hazardous pursuits such as eating satay pork in a restaurant or using a hotel bathroom, as partaking in these activities has claimed the lives of a local Thai man and a Russian tourist in the last few weeks. The Tourist Authority has already decided to reclassify these activities as dangerous sports and is advising potential visitors to take out the appropriate insurance. Either that or refrain from eating or shitting for the duration of your stay. A number of 7-Eleven stores stopped using plastic bags a few weeks back to see how things went in advance of the national ban that is to be introduced on January 1. Problems immediately arose in one store when people panic buying plastic bags to beat the national ban were told they’d have to buy a paper bag to put them in before they were allowed to leave the premises. Punches were reportedly thrown and a number of displays were smashed in the ensuing fracas. Police were called when the situation escalated even further and the fighting spilled out onto the street. Several arrests were made and numerous weapons were seized. All leave for riot police has now been cancelled for the beginning of January to cope with the national introduction of this popular eco-friendly policy. It’s also been announced that no less than eight TV stations will be censoring any programmes featuring plastic bags, and will presumably be carrying warnings such as “The following programme contains scenes depicting plastic bags which some viewers may find offensive.” You couldn’t make it up. Following the latest disappearance of Pattaya Beach, security nets have been installed to stop the rocks being stolen as well… Christmas bar news begins with more closures, this time New Star and New Bat Club. The unexpected reopening of Party Girlz a few weeks ago unexpectedly didn’t take place – then last week it did. We also have a new Go Go bar on Walking Street called Spicy Girl, a name from the past (well almost). The girls from the former Peppermint seem to have settled at Baccara if anybody’s interested. No, didn’t think you would be. And the former Hidden has just reopened as the Black Banana Club, though it sounds more like a sports bar than a Go Go. A Pattaya coffee shop owner has been criticized for filming one of her customers being attacked with a shoe but not intervening to stop the assault. “You try fighting with the public and filming on a phone at the same time” she retorted when questioned. The police officer in attendance was not impressed and whacked her with one of his boots. The Ghost of Christmas Past walks among us now, looking back at a pair of yuletide tales from Monkeywatch in December 2009… “Three Thai blokes who were about to vandalise a phone box in Jomtien last Thursday got more than they bargained for when they were attacked by a group of civil volunteers who were working nearby. The volunteers beat the men with pieces of the phone that they ripped out of the box then smashed their heads through every pane of glass in the cubicle to subdue them until the police turned up. The police commended the plucky volunteers for their valuable help in eradicating the scourge of telephone box vandalism. Last Friday, a disaster simulation exercise of a road crash was held on Pattaya Third Road to test if local services could cope. Following the success of this operation, Walking Street has been chosen as the venue for the next disaster simulation exercise in which the bars will run out of beer and the Go Go girls will all perform in anoraks.” The deckchair bans introduced to attract more tourists to Pattaya beach seem to be working well… The latest wheeze by the Tourism Authority to boost numbers is to target first time visitors, concentrating on the usual mixture of dregs and stinking pigs that they seem to favour for some inexplicable reason. They appear to have given up on repeat visitors, presumably because they couldn’t find any. Once bitten, twice shy? A major fire drill has been conducted at a hotel in Pattaya following a recent incident where a large number of guests had to be evacuated from another hotel following a fire. The hotel in question only suffered minor damage, unlike the one used for the fire drill which burned to the ground. “Well they said they wanted it to be realistic”, mused one participant as he surveyed the smouldering ruins. There’s a moral in there somewhere – but we’re buggered if we can find it. There was a bit of a ruck over by Soi Buakhao last week when a row between four street vendors turned into a knife fight. Tourists scrambled to safety as the men hacked and slashed at each other until police arrived and arrested three of the men, the fourth having buggered off before they arrived. They were being escorted to hospital when it was discovered that they were in fact Vietnamese working illegally so, as is customary under Thai law, they were given a bloody good hiding and bundled off to the immigration authorities for immediate deportation. Not exactly a clever way to behave if you’re illegal workers. Silly buggers. Finally, the government has announced that New Year’s gifts are to be offered to Thais and tourists to “increase happiness.” The military will be providing medical treatment, car repairs and massage services, so if you fancy having a hairy-arsed Thai soldier rubbing baby oil into your dick it sounds like you’re in for a good time. Merry Christmas everybody. be seeing you monkeyman
  25. 7 points
    I took a Baht bus from Pattaya to Jomtien this afternoon. Usually, the bus goes along Jomtien Beach Road until it gets to Soi Chaiyaphruek, and then I get thrown off. Today, the bus just kept going towards Na Jomtien. I stopped it at Lumpini Park Beach - about 3/5ths of a mile past Soi Chaiyaphruek, but it felt much further. The road is single lane each way at that point. I walked back along Beach Road until the road takes a sharp right to Pattaya - about 2.5 miles, I think. The walk along Jomtien Beach is very familiar to me, and nothing much has changed except I was very aware of how many signs in Chinese there are now - particularly for pharmacies. And it is quite clear who this condo development is aimed at. There are two areas of beach between Lumpini Park Beach and Soi Chaiyaphruek on which fishing boats are kept. It was an overcast day - not the greatest for sitting on the beach - but, even so, there was a respectable number of people there. This was near Lumpini Park and this was nearer the other end In the not too distant past, the beach would have been swarming with Russians, but there weren't that many to be seen today. It's going to be difficult to identify who on the beach are tourists in the future if a lot of them are Chinese! There were two teams of workers giving the beach some TLC - one watering the trees, and another cleaning the beach of leaves and other rubbish. On the whole, the state of the beach was quite good, but there were a few spots where damage was evident. The usual beach services were available! In several places, there were swarms of quite large flying insects. As you can imagine, it's not easy for a small p and s camera to photograph them but this is the best I managed. Does anyone know what they are? Giant hornets, maybe? This little guy and his mate put on an impressive acrobatic show as I was passing!
  26. 7 points
    We often whinge about getting ripped off in bars, snotty attitudes and general poor attitude from Thais, but often there are instances when you question some generalisations that we assume or make. Be interesting to hear other examples that BM's may have encountered over the years, one of my memorable ones is when I was on the back of an MC Taxi , the guy stopped at a small kiosk on the side of the road and ordered a coke in a bag for himself, then ordered another one for me, just handed it over as a matter of fact, totally unexpected and a random small act of kindness that I wasn't expecting. We'd already pre agreed the price for the journey. Maybe it was just his way of getting Karma points. I know there are good and bad in all walks of life, and the Thais can't be blamed for getting pissy with us, given the way some guys behave in their Country. I guess in the long run the trick is to perform small acts of kindness as hopefully they add up, so when the karma points need to be cashed in there's enough in the bank to cover most eventualities lol.
  27. 7 points
    And that’s where I am now, safely ensconced in my apartment. My vision has already improved to the point that I’m typing this (the next day) without the need for my glasses, something that was impossible before. I have to wear sunglasses whenever I’m out to keep dust and dirt out and stick to my timetable of eye drops until at least next week. Vision isn’t perfect but getting better each day as the healing process progresses. I was told at the beginning it would be like this and I would also see like a ‘halo’ effect around lights, which does happen. Again, not something that overly concerns me as he did tell me this would ease as your brain gets used to the new signals its receiving. I get a bit of a strobing effect occasionally and also feel there is something on my peripheral, but again, it’s expected and not uncomfortable or annoying. Was it worth it? I think so. It was a lot of money to cough up and it may not suit everyone. I don’t have deep pockets, but I’m still working and can therefore replenish. I will no longer need new glasses every 12-24 months, although may still need regular check ups. As I’ve had my lenses replaced, I also won’t get cataracts in the future. I know someone who had them and the problems he had to suffer with until the NHS replaced them, but he had a long wait each time and still has to wear glasses. That sort of inconvenience I can do without and I think that is what probably pushed me to have it done. At this point I would just say thanks for taking the time to read this unusual trip report, but don’t think of it as the end. As my journey continues I’ll give further updates as to how my eyes develop and any problems I may get. Off to try out if I really can play golf now! Keyman
  28. 7 points
    Cheap Charlie's is one of three low-price restaurants evenly spaced along a half-kilometer stretch of Soi Buakhao in the heart of the LK Metro area. The Chunky Monkey and Hungry Hippo are the other two bastions of budget bites on Buakhao, although several restaurants in that area have daily specials that put them in or slightly above the same price level. Competition for bargain baht is fierce around LK Metro! CC's is located about 150 meters south of Soi Lengkee on the east side of the road. I visited on a Sunday at about 2.30 p.m. It had about 25 customers at that time, which was considerably more than I saw at the Chunky Monkey or Hungry Hippo as I passed them on the way to CC's. "Cheap and cheerful" is an apt description for CC's. It's open-front, but powerful and well-placed fans keep it cool. There's nothing fancy about the decor, but it's a comfortable and pleasant place for a meal with friendly service staff. I tried the roast chicken dinner for 99 baht. At that price, it can't really be faulted. It tasted fine and the portion was large enough for me. You can certainly find better and bigger roast chicken dinners in Pattaya, but they'll cost three or four times as much. The chicken was a large piece of breast accompanied by Yorkshire pudding, roast and mashed potatoes, gravy and boiled vegetables, mostly cabbage and carrots. The Yorkshire was a bit dense and the gravy slightly too salty for me, but those are minor quibbles. It was indeed good for 99 baht. I had intended to try the roast lamb Sunday dinner, which I had read on a board went for 149 baht. However, when I arrived, a sign out front said the price was 195 baht, but a waitress hauled the sign in moments after I sat down. Sure enough, the waitress who took my order said it was already sold out, so I had the roast chicken instead. I haven't had much luck with roast beef or pork dinners in budget restaurants. CC's has an extensive menu centered on familiar British dishes, but also quite a few internationa (hamburgers, pasta)l, Indian, Chinese and Thai offerings. It's pretty much the standard fare for farang restaurants in Pattaya. Here's an excerpt from CC's menu: The roast dinners are available every day, not just Sundays. There are also daily specials at discounted prices. Drinks are also reasonably priced at CC's: Bottom line: Cheap Charlie's is definitely a competitive entry in the crowded field of restaurants vying for budget-conscious customers who want farang food at a low price. Adjust your expectations accordingly. Evil
  29. 7 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for another month, and welcome to more barmy banter from the pits of Patts. Lock me in and throw the key away. An investigation into allegations that fake police have been extorting money from people for possession of E-cigarettes has been halted after it was discovered that the police carrying out the investigation were fake as well - as were the police who made the discovery. Things are rarely what they seem in Pattaya. Pattaya officials have now installed a sign at the Tien Beach Bridge on Koh Larn to warn people of its imminent collapse. Unfortunately, they seem to have forgotten to translate it into Chinese. Pattaya rubbish collectors have been given spiffy new uniforms in an attempt to give them a more professional image. They’ve also been given training in rubbish recognition after several instances of alleged quality tourists being thrown into the back of their trucks. Pattaya has many unusual and exotic attractions on offer for the delight of tourists, such as this fossilised dinosaur shit… Pattaya’s annual Miss Tiffany Universe Contest took place a few weeks ago and was once again won by a poof in a frock. So what happened to diversity then? Thailand’s Tourist Board is reportedly considering ending the controversial dual pricing system that is used by many of the country’s attractions. A spokesman said it might help deflect accusations of racism if stinking foreign pigs were charged the same as Thai nationals. Following complaints by South Pattaya residents of traffic congestion caused by a police checkpoint at the Sophon Market Intersection, the police have agreed to relocate the checkpoint and thus remove the problem. They plan to move it to the south end of Beach Road next to the entrance of Walking Street as “traffic congestion has never been a problem there.” A Pattaya motorcycle dealer has produced this Peter Fonda tribute bike called ‘Queasy Rider’… Bar news now, and the bars are dropping even faster than the tourists’ currency at the moment. Lighthouse and Party Girlz have both closed, the latter after only six weeks, though it fared rather better than Super Model, which didn’t even last six days. Yes A Go Go has also gone, and is rumoured to be reopening as a boys bar for ladies. Wonder what the feminists will make of that? Even Club Oasis has closed, though it’s hard to imagine that anybody gives a shit, and anyway the word is that it’ll reopen shortly after a much needed refurb. On the upside, Bypass has already reopened as Moon and Beavers is up and running in place of Babydolls. We also have a brand new Go Go called Dolls open on Walking Street next door to the ill-fated Super Model. And last but not least, Scooters at Secrets is reopening on September 1. Great stuff. The King had his 67th birthday on July 28. Happy birthday Your Majesty (c’mon, you weren’t really expecting a joke, were you?) Back to the good old days with a pair of yarns from Monkeywatch in August 2009, including the original ‘stinking pig’ story. Whoever that Thai girl was, thanks for the inspiration… “An Iranian couple were arrested a couple of weeks ago after being caught shagging on Pattaya Beach just yards from the police station. The man told police that he thought such behaviour was acceptable in Pattaya, which was also the reason why he'd pissed in the arresting officer's hat. Some Thai girls were walking up Soi 3 the other day when a group of swarthy looking dudes came walking down past them. One of them said something to the girls, to which he got the reply "Stinking Arab pig!" The man, obviously very offended by this remark, shouted back “Not stinking Arab pig, stinking INDIAN pig!" Nice of him to take the time to correct her.” An enterprising little Pattaya company called Stinking Pigs ‘R’ Us is currently marketing these self-build illegal immigrant rafts. We understand they also sell torpedoes… A huge fountain was created in East Pattaya last week following the failure of a large water pipe. Repair crews were initially dispatched but were recalled after someone decided that a more economical solution would be to leave it as it is and not bother to repair the broken fountain at Bali Hai Pier. Whoever came up with that idea is undoubtedly destined for greatness in Pattaya’s corridors of power. South Pattaya residents have been complaining again, this time about a foul smelling black liquid that’s been pervading the area. They were told to stop moaning as Irish tourists never complain and they have to drink the bloody stuff. A Chinese chappie has been arrested after being caught trying to respray Pattaya with graffiti possibly related to the troubles in Hong Kong. Police have now employed a proper Chinese translator to check what the slogans actually say following the dismissal of the original Thai translator who seemed to think it had something to do with a hippopotamus and a purple handbag. Finally, the Minister for Tourism has recommended that entertainment venues in various locations including Pattaya should be allowed to open until 4am to increase revenue from tourists. Well it might have worked in times gone by, but nowadays at 4am the majority of tourists are either tucked up in bed or being shipped back to China in wooden boxes. be seeing you monkeyman
  30. 7 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for paying another visit, and welcome to more mayhem from the streets of shame (as in “shame everywhere isn’t like this.”) Off we go. Pattaya is still trying to find a way to solve its flooding problems but thinks it may have come up with the solution – drains. There is a bit more to it, as the plan is to have separate pipes for sewage and storm water, the former going to the sewage treatment plant and the latter directly into the sea. They plan to reinforce this by educating the locals to not chuck flood water down the toilet or shit in the storm drains. The Chonburi Tourist Attraction Association (yes, there really is one) has advised its members that the best way to attract Chinese tourists to Thailand is by online marketing. Members who asked about the best way to stop the little yellow buggers from coming altogether were told to shut the fuck up. Chonburi Immigration has put up a sign outside its Jomtien office outlining the dress code for foreigners visiting its premises. From the look of the pictures on the sign, just about all normal daily clothing is prohibited so you’d better start digging out those tuxedos and ball gowns before your next visit just to be on the safe side. An archaeological dig in North Pattaya has unearthed the remains of a creature thought to be long extinct – the farang tourist… Businesses on Koh Larn have expressed concern about the Tien Beach Bridge, which they reckon is about to collapse. Local authorities have promised to send a few Chinese tour groups across the bridge to test whether it’s safe or not. Hotel guests and their luggage were thrown out onto the street by police in Jomtien a couple of weeks ago when the building was unexpectedly repossessed by debt collectors. “We were treated like stinking pigs” said 95-year-old Bert Shoes, a British citizen and war hero who was staying in the hotel with his wife Gladys. “Where am I going to take my bloody barfines now?” When asked if the guests would get a refund, a hotel representative replied “Well what do you think?” Remember the police chief who was sacked a few weeks ago after local bars were raided by outside forces? Well, his replacement has been sacked – after local bars were raided by outside forces. Do we detect a pattern emerging here? Well the new incumbent clearly does, as he got his retaliation in first by organising some raids on local bars himself. Who’s a clever boy then? He’ll be gone by Christmas. Someone was asking where the Bamboo Bar is. Well, it’s here… A busy bar news this month starting with Babydolls, which has been sold and will soon be rebranded as Beavers. Seems to be a lot of selling and rebranding in that area. Speaking of which, Scooter’s at Secrets has closed for now but is said to be reopening in September in some form or other following further renovations. Nice to hear about a bar being fitted out rather than fitted up. Catwalk also closed, as did Naughty Girls, which has reopened as New Bat but is probably full of old bats. There’s a new Indian club on Walking Street called Bollywood, but it probably won’t be around for long as the people who opened it obviously haven’t managed to grasp the concept that Indians come to Thailand just to get away from places like theirs (seems they may have grasped it now as the place has already shut down.) Glass House has also shut down (they must have been throwing stones) but Bypass looks to be reopening, albeit with a new name. In another classic piece of joined-up government, the Provincial Electricity Authority decided to dig up Central Road without any prior warning on the same weekend as the Pattaya Music Festival. This reportedly led to “bad music festival traffic,” a phrase somewhat open to interpretation. Time for 10 year ago tales now, with a look at a duo of news nibbles from Monkeywatch in July 2009… “Strange tale of the month has to be the German bloke who died on Soi 6 after swallowing his false teeth. Well, it’s got to be a step up from eating German food. Nearly as strange was the Brit who ran into the sea the other Sunday night to avoid paying his bar bill. It didn’t work though, as he was dragged out of the cold water and now he’s in hot water with the police.” The current success of the country’s economy is largely due to the extraordinary diligence and hard work of the Thai people… There’s been another crackdown by police on the trade in laughing gas balloons. During a series of raids, they found two bars to be guilty of balloon trafficking and one bar harbouring a balloon that was under underage. The police were asked to comment, but they either weren’t taking the situation seriously or they’d been inhaling the confiscated stock. Baht bus drivers have been given a ticking off by the head of their association and warned to follow the rules laid out in their code of conduct. This follows a recent incident where a baht bus driver fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into a tailor’s shop, injuring two tourists in the process. Staff in the shop were unharmed, though the owner is suing the driver for smashing his window and crushing his dickie. The police, in their infinite wisdom, have vowed to make zebra crossings in Pattaya safe for us all. Actually, zebra crossings have always been safe - it’s the people who use them that get killed on a regular basis. The downside of all this malarkey is that they’re also talking about enforcing the jaywalking laws, which means if you’re caught crossing the road anywhere other than a designated place you’ll be fined and made to cross the road at a zebra crossing – where you’ll be mown down by a baht bus. Following reports that a Thai woman has been arrested for stealing 130,000 baht from holidaymakers in Pattaya, police confirm that the money has been recovered and they are now trying to trace the 130,000 Chinese tourists who had their holiday money stolen. Finally, a man was arrested by police in Jomtien after being seen jogging naked along the beach road. When questioned, the man said he was just trying to get a Dongtan. be seeing you monkeyman
  31. 6 points
    A priest decides to go for a walk downtown. He ends up in a bad hood and gets approached by a hooker. She asks him " hey father, want a bj ... twenty bucks?" The priest gets flustered and heads back to the church. He sees a nun and asks her "Sister, what's a Bj?" She replies "twenty bucks, same as downtown."
  32. 6 points
    As the Beach Rd drainage project is pretty much completed, thought it would be good to see what the finished product looks like. Of concern is this catch basin on the north end. While it's not easy to see in the pic, it's still half full of water with no discernible movement of the water. To me that's indicative of inadequate drainage slope. The north end got new pavers, so the rebuilt footpath looks good. But a short ways from the north end they used a mishmash of recycled pavers and the result looks like crap. Where some effort was put in to match the existing color scheme, the result looks a lot better. The matching of colors is the exception though. Only one of the three security tents are staffed now. This was the only section of beach, near Soi 5, that I saw evidence of erosion from storm water runoff. Looks like they haven't had to use the Soi 6 pumps, yet. Pattaya lifeguards trying to figure out what the red floaty thing is for. In fairness to them, and as an ex-competitive swimmer, they look like they have the characteristic build of a swimmer, so they may actually know how to swim. Another section that employed workers that weren't colorblind. But it was a short section, then the colorblind crew was back. In some sections it was easier for them to fill the gaps with concrete, rather than properly fit the pavers. The doors at the end of the long concrete box on the south end are designed to swing free. I could see them open and close slightly from wave action. When the diversion gates in the previous picture are raised, the storm water pressure will be enough to allow that water to flow freely into the sea. I wonder what the point is of having that outflow box when these outflow pipes accomplish the same thing.
  33. 6 points
    Three women left separately after a very late night out drinking Guinness until the early hours. They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who had been the most drunk. The first gal claims that she was the drunkest, saying, “I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks” To which the second gal replied, “You think that was drunk? I got in my car, drove out of the parking lot, and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don’t even have insurance!” And the third proclaimed, “I was by far the most drunk. I got home, I go in a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down!” They all looked at each other for a moment. Then the first gal says: “Ladies, I don’t think you understand. Chunks is my dog.”
  34. 6 points
    Pics of some of the construction and destruction projects around Pattaya. Watched these guys climbing from one balcony to the next. Happy when they succeeded as I didn't want the job of first responder.
  35. 6 points
    A few random shots from around Pattaya this morning. On today's bike ride I came across bars on the corner of Nakula & Soi 33 getting set up for distributing free food. The blue line in the screenshot below shows the start and end point of the line when I passed by. The line is 1/2 km long! Didn't take any pics as I feel it's a bit degrading to take pics of people in need.
  36. 6 points
    The beer bars and boxing ring just before the WS entrance are no more. Edited to add: I see in another post the area is being remodeled. But the other one farther up WS looks safe for now.
  37. 6 points
    Hi Guys, A comment was made by Teelak earlier today about the state of the board and the number of COVID and Political posts going up on it right now. This is a really hard topic to police in any real way for a couple reasons - first because COVID is a very important subject and has a very huge impact on all of our lives and will likely continue to do so for the foreseeable future. Its a health matter, and a science matter... and in a perfect world it would NOT be a political matter. But it has been hijacked by politicians around the world and made in to a political matter. I will not be banning COVID related posts or removing them to purgatory because the subject is of such importance to the entire world right now - but going forward we are going to have a strict no politics rule on all posts outside of the politics section of the forums, including the COVID threads. This is going to be super-hard to moderate because there is so much misinformation out there which is politically motivated. We will err on the side of science. Meaning that if a post contains content that is being used by a politician or group of politicians to try to steer conversation in a particular direction, then its political be it true or not. For example: hydroxychloroquine. No matter which side of that fence you sit on, that entire subject is too highly politicized to have a place in COVID discussions outside of the political forums. So are any other drugs (if any) that are touted by politicians. Those subjects are now taboo outside of the politics section, even if there are studies backing their use. If politics are involved, it does not belong on the open forum, period. Threads that are political in nature (such as topics regarding hydroxychloroquine) will be moved to the politics section. If a post is made in a non-political thread about things that are political in nature the post will be hidden/removed. If the poster keeps posting stuff like that they will receive a warning, and eventually be banished to the purgatory section where they can post that crap to their heart's content. Political jabs are also hereby forbidden from outside the politics section. Even veiled ones. No comments about how this or that politician or group are better/wiser/stupider etc. If you really want to play those games, do it in the politics section. I will leave it up to the mods as to the removal/moving of threads that already exist, or the posts inside those threads. If they are overly acidic, move them. If not, then not. But new threads going forward will be handled with the above ideas in mind. This "rule" will not be posted to the board rules page, at least for now. We will relax it again after the November elections when things quiet down and there is a little less hatred being spread around (we can only hope). Until then lets consider it a temporary rule brought on by the times.
  38. 6 points
    Today's progress report. Knock me over with a feather, they're actually cleaning construction debris from the gutter drains. Each of the low points where flooding typically occurs gets extra wide gutter drains.
  39. 6 points
    Water truck with free water made a trip down our soi this morning. We've been without city water for three days now due to a broken main, so the free water is appreciated. Someone asked if Katesiree was still serving coffee. Sadly the answer is no, at both locations. Still working on the new Jomtien Hospital. Looks like outpatient services are open. Resorts/ST rooms are now closed.
  40. 6 points
    In less than a year, 3Bz Burritoz has established itself as one of (the?) foremost place in Pattaya for Tex-Mex style burritos, tacos and quesadillas. I've never been to the brick-and-restaurant, but I have ordered food for delivery once or twice a month since June. I've never been disappointed. The U.S. owner and his wife know how Tex-Mex should taste and look. Prices are very reasonable. I particularly enjoy the breakfast burritos, which I agree are the best in Pattaya. They come in three variations and range in price from 99 ฿ to 159 ฿. The 8-inch tortilla Bebecito (two scrambled eggs, ham and cheese) at 99 ฿ is usually enough for me. When I've been really hungry, I've ordered El Grande (six eggs(!), ham and cheese in a 12-inch tortilla) at 139 ฿ or De Maximo (four eggs, ham, cheese, fried potatoes and beans in a 12-inch tortilla) at 159 ฿. De Maximo is a full meal, at least for me. In the pic below, it's a Bebecito on the left and a 8-inch pork burrito on the right. The non-breakfast burritos come in variety of styles (chicken, pork, beef, vegetarian, fish, refried beans), with two sizes (8- and 12-inch) for most. The breakfast burritos come with fresh salsa and sour cream, while you have a choice of two salsas and sauces for the other burritos. You can choose between pulled or ground meat. The Danny burritos are extra large, with double meat. a whole butter sauteed onion and triple cheese. Depending on the meat, they range in price from 169 ฿ to 269 ฿. The pics below feature a pork Danny. On some days the burritos come with a complementary handful of nacho. The chciken, pork and beef tacos are also great and come in hard corn or soft wheat tortillas. Quesadillas round out the three main items on the 3Bz Burritoz menu. It's my favorite in the pics below, the 8-inch cheese quesadilla for 169 ฿. The burritos, tacos and quesadillas are well seasoned and definitely have a spicy Tex-Mex kick to them. They all have their origins as traditional Mexican street food, but the types offered by 3Bz are Tex-Mex adaptations. That's not a bad thing. The "big burritos" that originated in San Francisco are superior to the original Northern Mexican cigar-sized burritos. The menu for 3Bz Burritoz has a few sides as well, including nachos, hot wings and a bad-ass food truck favorite, loaded Mexi fries. You can also order extra black beans, fried rice and refried beans. I've never had an problems with delivery. You can order by phone or through 3Bz Facebook page. Most of the deliveries I've gotten have arrived in 20 minutes, but the current spate of roadwork is delaying delivery, according to the owner. In case you want to visit the restaurant, it's located here: And a pic from the Facebook page: 3Bz does a lot of catering to bars, so you have an opportunity to sample its food for free. Bottom line: 3Bz Burritoz is an excellent option for burritos, tacos and quesadillas, especially if you favor home delivery. Evil
  41. 6 points
  42. 6 points
    Beach Rd photo update, starting from the north end. Never noticed any customers before today at the Thai Airways office. Line out the door keeping a proper social distance, probably looking to rebook canceled flights. Looking north opposite Holiday Inn Looking south from the same spot Soi 1 Noticed this guy digging himself a cool spot in the sand. Pavement work opposite The Bay Water north of Soi 6 is currently draining into a pit. Very odd they don't have a pipe yet that connects to the new drains south of this point. Drain grates completed from just north of the Klang intersection. Typical, quality Thai engineering on show. Curb construction almost to Mike's Mall. South end getting pumped out. Beach is pretty empty. And no parasails in the air.
  43. 6 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for following us into our 15th year, and welcome to the year 2563. Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun? Well, the plastic bag ban has come into force in Thailand and people are coming up with all kinds of weird and wonderful receptacles to put their shopping in. Bags for life are also available if required, but from the look of them they wouldn’t even last long enough for the life of a suicide bomber, though that has yet to be put to the test. A Turkish restaurant in Central Pattaya burned to the ground on New Year’s Day. Foul play is suspected and police have interviewed several suspects, all of whom appear to be food critics. Chinese tourists have been warned about carelessness with fireworks during their New Year celebrations following the demise of a holidaymaker at Christmas. A spokesman for the Immigration Department added “I don’t know why we bother with these warnings. We should tell the little yellow turds to stay at home instead of coming over here infecting our country with another one of their stinking pig diseases.” Sounds like somebody’s been playing truant from their diversity training. For those who want an extra special souvenir of their trip to Pattaya, these locally produced replicas of the Holy Grail are an absolute must… Here’s a new twist to an old story. A Russian tourist was beaten senseless by bouncers after refusing to pay his bill in a Russian club. Immigration are currently checking into the nationality of the bouncers in case they were Russians working without permits, as this of course is a much more serious offence than knocking seven bells of shit out of a pissed-up Ruskie. There’s been a spate of bag snatchings from tourists in Pattaya since the beginning of the year. Not surprising really. The thieves probably just needed something to put their shopping in. The Prime Minister has suggested that people should shower less during the current drought. One would suspect that this will have a less than profound impact on the habits of Thailand’s newest brands of quality tourist. Central Festival prepares itself for the arrival of tourists for Chinese New Year… New Year bar news time, and it’s the end of the line for Scootrets, as the bar is now gutted and the hotel is being sold. Party Girlz has closed yet again, but Harem has surprisingly reopened. New Bat has reopened as CoCo and Diamond has as expected changed its name to Annabels. Just when you think Pattaya can’t get any weirder, something like this happens. A local food vendor was recently surprised to find himself confronted by a monkey brandishing a handgun. A sort of gunfight ensued in which the vendor was faster on the draw, hitting the hapless simian with a rock and causing it to drop the firearm and scuttle off into the undergrowth. Police, who confirmed the firearm to be genuine, loaded and working, said they suspected the weapon had been stolen as it wasn’t normal practice to issue monkeys with gun permits. They have, however, confirmed that this incident is unconnected to the recent mall shooting as, according to witnesses, the perpetrator in that case was “quite a bit taller.” Drift back in time now with a trio of tales from Monkeywatch of January 2010, including the true origin of a phrase that has become part of the Monkeywatch heritage… “The Pattaya Traffic Department has reported that a pedestrian wasn’t killed as he crossed the main road in Banglamung last Friday. They say that this brings the total number of pedestrians not killed crossing that road to over 20 for the month of December, which is believed to be an all-time high since records began. They hailed this as a triumph, adding that it proved their unstinting commitment to health and safety. The body of a man was found floating in the water off the coast of Pattaya the other Tuesday. Although severely decomposed, the body has been identified as a foreigner though his nationality remains unknown. The police could only confirm that he definitely wasn’t Japanese as his penis was more than an inch long. A newbie was overheard in a 7/11 the other day obviously intent on trying out his newly acquired mastery of the Thai language. “Showaddy crap”, he proudly pronounced. The poor bloke behind the counter didn’t know whether he was saying hello or slagging off a 70s British glam-rock band.” In the light of recent events, new accommodation has been prepared for the expected influx of Chinese tourists… Work has started on the installation of extra lighting on a local road intersection after a number of accidents occurred on a stretch of road during the hours of darkness because motorists couldn’t see properly. Since the project began, there have been even more accidents because motorists were dazzled by the new lights. Police are now considering an alternative plan in which motorists will only be allowed to drive along this stretch of road if they employ a monk to walk in front of their vehicle. Nice work if you can get it. A Brit TV station has made a new series called “Busted in Bangkok”, a documentary about the Tourist Police in Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket as they go about their daily business of dealing with the criminals, retards, scum and stinking pigs otherwise known as quality tourists. If you watched “Big Trouble in Thailand” a few years ago then you really don’t need to bother with this. Probably isn’t worth bothering anyway to be honest. Finally, an elderly Thai man has been hospitalised in Pattaya after his family decided to chuck him out on the street. When asked for an explanation for their behaviour, a family member said “Well, it was him or the dog – and we like the dog.” be seeing you monkeyman
  44. 6 points
    The Siam Lounge is a German bar and restaurant on Pattaya Klang Soi 12 around the corner from the Siam View hotel and across the street from the KTK Royal Residence. It's close to Nova Gold and Nova Park hotels and Jameson's Irish Pub. I In addition to German dishes with a Bavarian accent, the Siam Lounge has standard international dishes like hamburgers, sandwiches, pasta and pizza as well as Thai dishes. Prices are moderate. It has an extensive breakfast menu with German and English variations. It's an open-front restaurant that's a pleasant place to have a drink or a meal . Strategically placed fans bolster the effect of breezes off the sea to keep it cool. It would be a good place for people watching, except there isn't much to watch on Soi 12 aside from passing vehicles. The staff is friendly and attentive and there's no blaring background music. Most of the customers appear to be older Germans or Scandinavians. Siam Lounge is open from 8.00 a.m. to 11.30 p.m. I've eaten at Siam Lounge a number of times because it's close to where I'm currently staying. I have mostly had the breaded pork schnitzel. The schnitzel was topped with a fried egg and came with a small side of industrial cut French fries. Unlike a lot of schitzel in Pattaya, the Siam Lounge version had been properly fried- crispy exterior but still moist and tender inside. At 119 baht, it was among the cheaper schnitzel's I have had in Pattaya and good value for money. The schnitzel comes in several sizes and mine was consider small. with large and extra-large portions also available. I wish it were offered with either boiled potatoes or potato salad as the size, but that would push up the price, I guess. On an even more specifically German note, I tried leberkäse, which literally translates as "liver cheese." That's an archaic term and it's called "meatloaf" in modern translations. Bavarian leberkäse contains neither liver nor cheese. I'd never had leberkäse i before and was eager to try it. It's nothing like U.S. meatloaf. The German variation was processed meat that has been ground finely and baked in a loaf pan. It was topped with the customary fried egg and French fries were again the non-traditional side. The condiment baskets at Siam Lounge include both sharp and mild versions of German mustard. The leberkäse definitely benefited from a liberal dose of mustard. Overall, it was OK but I doubt I'll order it again. Just not my taste. I've also had the breakfast beef cheeseburger that comes with a fried egg, orange juice and coffee. It cost 139 baht, which is a pretty good price considering it included a small glass of juice (with pulp, not an orange drink). The egg yolk was cooked a bit too hard for my preference, but that is often the case in Thailand. Overall, the breakfast burger went down nicely. I won't hesitate to order it again as breakfast or a light lunch. I've had the spaghetti bolognese several times as well. It was a large portion, if not huge. The sauce was good and had plenty of ground beef, but needed seasoning, particularly Italian herbs and spices. I've accepted that outside of Italian restaurants, spaghetti doesn't have much of an Italian taste in Pattaya. It with a small dish of out-of-a-package grated parmesan cheese. At 120 baht, it was great value for money. I've paid 180 baht or more for worse plates of spaghetti. The spaghetti at the stall at the corner of Soi Buakhao and Soi Diana costs 120 baht, but it includes freshly grated parmesan. Siam Lounge also has pizza on the menu. It's not baked on site, but comes from a nearby pizza place. It's available between 3 p.m. and closing with a 20-minute wait. At 150 baht for 14-inch sausage pizza, it's a good deal. The crust was thin and crispy and hadn't been over-sauced. It was a cheap fix for my pizza craving. According to the Siam Lounge's Facebook page, Bavarian breakfast is available on Sundays for 299 baht. It consists of "white sausage, pretzel and a special mustard mixture. Beer is part of a Bavarian breakfast, but it costs extra. Bottom line: I have mostly eaten at Siam Lounge because it is a convenient location for me, but I have no complaints about the food or prices. If you like German food at reasonable prices, it's certainly an option. Evil
  45. 6 points
    I sense some are happy Boeing is having problems now with the 737 Max. I don't get it. As passengers it is in our best interests for both Boeing and Airbus to succeed. Without both there is little competition driving innovation and improvement. Note Boeing didn't do a lot of new stuff for a while after Douglas and Lockheed gave up passengers jet production. No need. If a new airline came along they could buy Boeing or Boeing. Now there is a choice and Boeing is forced to produce new and improved products. I get it the national pride some have of Boeing over Airbus and vice versa. But don't let it color the reality - we the public benefit from both being around for the long term. OK, off the soap box. Almost fell getting down. 😂
  46. 6 points
    The Food Park on the lower level of Central Festival shopping mall on 2nd Road has been redone. Whether it is an addition to the old Food Park or a replacement for it remains to be seen. The new version is slicker, more comfortable and has a better layout than its hugely popular predecessor. I took these photos at about 8.30 p.m. on Sunday, July 14. The Food Park was busy, but there were plenty of seats available. The old Food Park was often rammed, even in low season. It's also more expensive. I couldn't see any Thai dishes for 45-50 baht; the cheapest seemed to be 90 baht, but I read elsewhere there are 60 baht dishes. The space that housed the old Food Park is still under wraps, but the ads that block off the construction indicate it will be food oriented. Maybe the old Food Park stalls with mediocre but very cheap food will return. I haven't eaten yet at the new Food Park, so I can't comment on the quality of the food. I'm not a fan of shopping mall food courts as better Thai food is available at the same low prices in any number of hole-in-the-wall restaurants in Pattaya. However, I will eventually give the Food Park at Central Festival a try. Just by way of comparison, this is what it used to look like at the old Food Park. It was packed every day with a mix of Thais, foreign tourists and resident ex-pats. Evil
  47. 6 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap once more, and welcome to this month’s Chinese special edition. Well actually there’s other stuff as well. There’s been some discussion about all the crap Chinese goods being sold in Pattaya. We heard a story about a Thai bloke who plugged in his new Chinese-made soldering iron and it immediately blew out all the street lights and melted the fillings in his teeth. Well, what the hell, this is how the Japanese started and they eventually got it right. Not much consolation to soldering iron owners though, and probably even less to the Thai navy who’ve just ordered a Chinese-built submarine. Voyage to the bottom of the barrel? Bali Hai Pier was the scene of a pitched battle a couple of weeks ago when some Thai businessmen had a bit of a difference of opinion about something or other. There were punches and kicks being thrown, along with chairs, tables, bottles, glasses and anything else they could get their hands on. A passing group of Chinese tourists got caught in the crossfire but fortunately none of them were injured. They were all killed. Talking about dead Chinese, it was reported that a Chinese woman had plummeted to her demise from a condo, but a subsequent statement said that she was actually Korean. Christ, they can’t even tell each other apart. Must have made the British police in Essex feel a whole lot better about their shortcomings in the ethnic identification department. Another Chinese tourist fell off the back of a baht bus while allegedly playing silly buggers with his mates. He was taken to hospital where his condition was described as “not quite dead.” With this kind of stuff going on, one wonders if the Chinese government has decided that the best way to reduce the population of their country is to send them all to Pattaya. Probably not the best name to choose if you’re trying to attract a respectable clientele… Police had a big crackdown on fireworks over Loy Krathong in an attempt to make things safer and to get back to the traditional spirit of the festival. “Loy Krathong should be about peace and tranquillity”, said a police spokesman, “it shouldn’t be about gangs of noisy drunks falling about and shoving lighted fireworks into each other’s bum cracks. That’s what the 5th of November’s for” A pissed-up Ruskie bloke was arrested twice in the same day for flashing his bollocks at tourists on Koh Larn and at Bali Hai Pier. When asked by police for details of what she saw, a female tourist replied “Well it was like a penis, only smaller.” Looks a bit on the draughty side… Bar news this month is a story of closures, starting with the demise of Peppermint. Another piece of Pattaya history bites the dust. Hidden has gone into hiding, as has its owner. Wildcats has closed and become part of an enlarged Pin Up. Teerak, Yes and Crazy House have also gone, though the latter’s been replaced by Pacha (not much of a replacement apparently.) A couple of Thais have been charged with assault after beating up a middle-eastern chappie on Pattaya Beach. They claimed they were performing a citizen’s arrest until the police pointed out that “being a stinking pig” wasn’t actually a criminal offence. Time for a stroll down memory Soi now with a pair of titbits from Monkeywatch in November 2009… “There was a story reported from South Pattaya about three weeks ago entitled “Canadian loses 500,000 baht’s worth of valuables following room theft”. So how do you smuggle a room out of a hotel without anyone noticing? Two monks were arrested for begging a couple of Saturdays ago after being caught doing the rounds of Third Road bars asking punters for money. They were both taken to the temple in South Pattaya and summarily disrobed, at which point it was discovered that the older man was not even a real monk. The police decided not to pursue the begging offence, but the younger man is believed to have been charged with possession of a fake monk in line with the police’s stated aim of cracking down on counterfeit goods.” Harsher penalties have been introduced for smoking on the beach… Pattaya seems to have inherited the title of The Swinging City after two people hanged themselves in separate incidents on the same morning. When asked to speculate about the reason behind these incidents, a police spokesman said “I suppose someone must have given them enough rope.” Some women’s groups held a march down Beach Road last week to raise awareness about domestic violence. Unfortunately, very few women turned up as the rest has been told by their husbands that they’d get a bloody good hiding if their dinner wasn’t on the table when they got home. Finally, a False Killer Whale that was rescued near Pattaya Beach has subsequently died. Anti- counterfeiting police were stood down after a marine biologist explained to them that it’s actually the name of a species of dolphin. be seeing you monkeyman
  48. 6 points
    Hate it when someone tells a joke and forgets the punch line. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
  49. 6 points
    Sadly all on the bus perished and are waiting in line at the pearly gates. St Peter approaches the first girl in line. "Mary Margaret, I have one question for you, and it is of the utmost importance that you answer truthfully. Have you ever touched a penis?" Mary blushed a little bit. "Well, yes, I have. I once reached into a boys pants and touched his penis with the tip of my finger. But that was all." "Very well Mary. Dip your finger into this holy water and then you may enter Heaven." St Peter then approaches the next girl in line. "Anne Beth, have you ever touched a penis?" "Yes, I once reached in a boys pants and grabbed his penis." "Very well," said St Peter "Dip your hand in holy water and enter the Kingdom of Heaven. At this point in time there is a commotion in the back of the line, as one of the girls is pushing her way up the line. "Katherine Anne, you need to wait till it's your turn." St Peter strictly informed the girl. "No, I'm not staying in the back of the line. There's no way I'm rinsing my mouth out with that holy water if Karen has to wash her ass out with it first!"
  50. 5 points
    Perhaps this is not exactly a "funny picture" but it has made me smile more than once. Had to trim the youtube way down so I could post it. LINE'd it to a few TG's who loved it... Six-Year-Old Muay Thai Prodigy Practices With Father.mp4
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