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  1. 20 points
    I mentioned Poompui and I think some of you were interested too. I don't why they named her, usually girls named Lek it makes sense, but that's her real name. Every time I come, the Rembrandt Suites seem to be priced a few baht lower, but I wanted to stay in the Nana area this time so I booked the JW, for about the same you used to pay for the Rembrandt Suites. Haven't stayed in this hotel since 2004. Gone are the days when you could use the side entrance and sneak a girl past the cigar store, which is closed now. I believe they're still guest friendly but don't want to navigate this crowd with a GoGo girl young enough to be my grand daughter, so I visited my massage girl, we took some selfies but she asked I not post them publicly. The last time I stayed at the Landmark, it was beginning to show its age. Not so at the JW, I thought the room was a very high standard. And I even had a view of Nana Plaza Their buffets were half price but I don't do buffets. On the second floor, the Manhattan Lounge had a nice happy hour I walked up Soi 11 for a burger, my old neighborhood The waitress remembers my order I went over to Fitzgeralds on Soi Nana for breakfast. Also tried the Fish & Chips there (haddock) but was disappointed. The crust was crispy enough but fillet was too small. Mushy peas were good, however. The scene was quiet in lower Sukhumvit, except for the lady that fell in the hole on Soi Arab Did some shopping at Siam. Bought some new glass for my camera and took a break with some iced fruit tea. On Tuesday, I went for Taco Tuesday at Slanted Taco on Soi 23. Buy a taco for 80++, get one free. I walked through Soi Cowboy in memorial to Bernard Trink. They have food vendors in the afternoon. Tacos were great, two shrimp (with a slice of avocado), and two sea bass (without the skin). Fresh mango margarita was 240++, chips and salsa were complimentary. At night, Nana Plaza very quiet. Over at Soi Cowboy, same, same. I entered Baccara around 11 and there were only two other customers. There's a superstar that is allowed to wear underwear now, doesn't have to show her pussy anymore. Bummer. She was one of the ones that only went with Asians, just ignored me for seven years, wouldn't give me the time of day. I hold no animosity and now I'm about the only game in town, so I bought her a few lady drinks to sit on me lap and grind. She massaged my shoulders and neck, my crotch, I can see why the Japanese like her, and she's gorgeous, but I had too much drink for bar fine. She'll be a priority on my next visit, and I won't be drinking at all that night. This week, I came for Poompui.😍 Went to Monsoon on Soi 8 afterward, they've moved half a block, to the corner where you turn to go to Lolitas, second subsoi. Here's the soft shell crab salad. Hope you enjoyed my report. Cheers
  2. 18 points
    I have nothing against tourists, used to be one 16 years ago, and I'd rather see people gainfully employed than standing in food lines. All I can do is add some domestic tourism to the mix, and there are some great travel deals at present. I would have made this trip regardless, maybe paid the same to stay at less upmarket accommodations. I thought about making all my arrangements on the fly, but can usually get better rates booking ahead, so that's what I did. My original itinerary included Ko Ngai, a tiny island only two km long and one km wide, with no roads (only footpaths), where locals get around by long tail boats. Unfortunately, three of my five speedboat tickets were cancelled due to the virus so I scrambled to substitute Ao Nang. In retrospect, I wish I'd opted for Ko Tarutua instead, an island I was considering anyway. Swampy was a breeze, arriving Phuket around 7 PM, had a taxi booked and waiting to take me to Patong. I purchased a deluxe ticket on Vietjet Air, so I could check some baggage, and they put me in a business class seat with plenty of legroom. PHUKET I stayed at Kudo Resort, right on the beach and a two minute walk from Soi Bangla. The room had two large screen TVs, mini-kitchen with microwave and coffee maker (4 cartridges included per day), and a free minibar that was restocked every day, including two cans of Singha Beer. https://www.kudophuket.com/ Mainly a place for the younger crowd, DJs played music at the pool until 11 PM and anyone could come use it for the price of a drink. Of course, there weren't many people around. The balcony featured a huge Jacuzzi, where I could dim the lights and bathe with my girl du jour (too shy for photos). There was no joiner fee. Some scenes from Patong Beach in the morning. I went out for breakfast but everything was closed. Ended up having the fixed set breakfast at the resort, for 500 baht, while I watched the World Series on my phone. This is too much food for me. I don't have a stomach, only intestines, and didn't eat anything the rest of the day. Savoey Seafood was open and across the street for the rest of my meals. They even offered a 10% covid discount despite not having competition. One kg for steamed crab was 800. Shrimp and asparagus with a Mai Tai Soi Bangla was empty with 90% of the bars closed, even a higher percentage of restaurants were closed. Crotch massage Over at Bangla Walking Street, nearly everything was closed except Suzy Wongs Gogo, which was pretty good, so I hung out there. There were about a dozen customers Saturday night hogging the best girls so I came back Sunday and there were only two other customers with the same 20 or so dancers, including four that danced nude. Mojitos were only 99 baht but lady drinks were 220. I bought one of the nude dancers, a wild blonde, a few lady drinks. She was wearing knickers off-stage, but quickly dropped them for the second drink and I sucked her titties and fingered her pussy while she grinded in my lap. I was worth the price of two lady drinks. My departure taxi didn't show but the lady at the front desk was very helpful in calling the company and eventually they sent one. I told the driver Chean Wanich Pier but he took me to Rassada Pier anyway. Fortunately, I arrived about ten minutes before my boat departed for Ko Phi Phi. There were 7 or 8 other passengers, all young Thais. NEXT: KO PHI PHI
  3. 17 points
    With bars reopening, I made the trip to check out the scene. Once again, stayed at the Rembrandt Suites Hotel, great value at 1050 per night for a 4-star hotel. Asked for a higher floor this time. Over to the basement at Robinson's for a bite of oyster omelette, 60 baht. Dessert upstairs at McDonalds, never saw the place so empty at 6 PM A brief stop at Terminal 21 The Asoke Intersection at 7 PM Needed to freshen up after the bus ride. Could have showered at the hotel, but I don't come to town just to bathe myself, so I hopped the MRT over to Ratchadaphisek Road. Back to Sukhumvit, and Soi Cowboy was nearly empty. Baccara had 80 girls with 8 customers, can't see how they can sustain it for long. I stayed 2 hours and seven Hoegaardens but I expect they'll be shutting down the upstairs soon. After Baccara I went next door to Sharks. Really like the unisex restrooms, usually some girls doing their hair you can talk to while taking a whizz. Finished the evening at Crazy House. Breakfast at Chu's, the berry pancakes were a major disappointment. The 'maple' syrup was awful, should call it sugar syrup with barely a hint of maple. When I was a kid my grandpa would visit from Ste. Sault Marie, Michigan and bring a gallon of pure maple syrup. An Imperial gallon no less, so we got an extra quart! That was awesome. Next day I went back to the smoked salmon eggs benedict, served over buttermilk biscuits, better way to start the day. Headed over to the clinic for my monthly Vitamin B-12 injection. Asked if they could mix in some Lysol to fight the covid, as suggested by President Trump, but they won't poison customers. Benchasiri Park A brief break at Em Quarter Next was my Photoshoot with a Thai Playboy Bunny I had a craving for a burger before going home, so I headed over to my old stomping grounds, Soi 11, which was empty. Supposedly, the best burger in town is at El Gaucho Argentinian Steakhouse, but I can't justify spending 750 baht for a burger. A little further up, at 'the T', Dainiel Taiger has the best affordable burger in town. There's no blue cheese on this burger, only cheddar, so I ordered a Rochefort ten percenter as an accompaniment. Those Trappist Monks know how to whip up a powerful elixir. 646 baht for the pair, and it was a mighty tasty burger!
  4. 17 points
    This is the Christmas edition. I wanted to do something special for the holidays, so I booked the JW Marriott Always liked the lounge, pity I can't enjoy a cigar there anymore Nice view of Nana Plaza Happy Hour, 4 PM to 8 PM, in the second floor Manhattan Lounge I went out at 6:30 AM for breakfast, thought I'd just have a ham and cheese croissant at Burger King, but they don't open until 10 AM now. Not much was open. Some road side bars were around, but it was a little too early for a drink. There were some joggers about, including some very attractive women. Unfortunately, also some homeless people sleeping on the street, wouldn't feel comfortable taking their photo. Margarita Storm was open, still 24 hours I think, but I don't care for their breakfasts. I went there for a 4 AM Taco Salad. Eventually settled at Tom N Tom's, formerly Holly's Coffee at that location. Bagel sandwich with a cappuccino Down Soi 2 way, formerly Majestic Grande is now Doubletree, whenever it re-opens Hooters Nana had some food specials, a dozen wings and a pint for 299 At Nana Plaza, all the top floor bars are closed Sunday and Monday now, and Billboard and Butterflies are the best bars in the plaza. Soi Nana very quiet at 6:30 PM I went over to Patpong, first took a stroll down Soi Thaniya. There were lots of girls out, I took a few snaps and moved on quickly before the moto taxi drivers could threaten me because I'm not Japanese. It was a lot different this time, girls were smiling at me, they used to ignore me. When I reached one of the last bars before Surawong Road, a Mamasan says "Come in for a drink". WTF? I took my mask off and said, "I'm not Japanese, I'm farang". "No problem", she says, "come in and have a drink, sit with a lady." Well, I never thought I'd see the day where farang are welcome on Soi Thaniya. What is the world coming to? I politely declined her generous invitation and headed over to Soi Patpong. I'll come back later to taste some of the "forbidden fruit." Patpong looks empty without the night market. King's Castle scaled back to 30 girls, from their usual 80-90, and there were only two other customers but they had some great looking girls At Pink Panther, I was the only customer. After a few long island iced teas there, I headed back to the BTS but stopped in The Strip for one more round. There was only one other customer. I sat in one of the booths and had four girls joining me. Back in the old days, they used to close the curtain but stopped the practice when the junta took over, worried about being raided by the police. The mamasan showed me the drink menu, I noticed lady drinks were priced at 200 baht, so I told the mamasan I'd buy each lady a drink if she'd close the curtains. Desperate economic times call for desperate measures. The curtains were closed and off came my pants. Since this is an open forum, I can't describe what happened but you can use your imagination, being behind the curtain with four horny and hungry girls, it was an experience I'll always cherish. I took some photos but wouldn't dare post them, wouldn't want to get the bar in hot water. Next day, went to see Sutasinee, my stocking stuffer After four days at the JW, I changed to the Sofitel, have never stayed there before. It's right next door to Thermae Coffeeshop Rooms are great, the hotel is much newer than the JW Marriott There's a window into the bedroom so you can lay in the bathtub and watch TV, there's a separate speaker and volume control in the bathroom. The bathrobes are awesome too, don't need a towel, and the beds are super comfortable. Good views from the 21st floor Bring your own whisky There's a rooftop bar on the 32nd floor with even better views I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, a glass of Spanish red Breakfast was included, it's a la carte but you can order as much as you want. Besides this, I had some smoked salmon Eggs Benedict this morning. I'll check out the pool this afternoon. Yesterday, there was a stocking on my door with two oranges, some cookies, and a candy cane. I took a hike up to Soi 33 for lunch at Tenderloins. I used to go there frequently, they moved to a subsoi 4-5 years ago but still feature a good value fixed lunch with many choices, for 450 baht. I had a cesar salad, small Argentine strip loin steak with baked potato, and ice cream and coffee. Only the wine was extra. After lunch, I got an oil massage with body2body, a bj, and some reverse cowgirl. Last night, Christmas Eve, I went over to Soi Cowboy looking for Santa. There's an old expat with long white hair and a white beard, and he always dresses as Santa and hangs out on Soi Cowboy during the holidays. I stopped at Indulge at the Asoke Intersection for a few of their exotic cocktails first, they run about 300 baht. Here's one with Absolute Vodka and strawberry liqueur, I forget what it's called. This is a Citrous Comfort, made with Southern Comfort, Havana Rum, lemon, lime, pineapple, and mint. Very tasty way to get your Vitamin C. The waitress said they feature a buy one get one free on Sundays. I didn't get to see Santa, but I'll try again tonight. Went over to Baccara for several bottles of Ho Ho Hoegaarden. Merry Christmas!!!
  5. 17 points
    EPILOGUE It was an uneventful 2 hour ride back to Pac Bara Pier, no stops along the way. I booked a minibus to Hat Yai International Airport but no one was waiting with my name card when I exited the port. Went to the speedboat office and they directed me to a travel agency where I boarded the bus and arrived at the airport in plenty of time for my 7 PM departure to Bangkok. After a 70 minute flight, was back at Rembrandt Suites for a quick shower and back again an hour later with a friend. Feeling relaxed and horny, hadn't had any since Phuket, we snuggled up for the evening and she wore me out. It was a happy ending to a wonderful 17 days. EXPENSE REPORT Accommodation: 17 nights, including book ends in Bangkok Rembrandt Suites, Bangkok (2 nights) 2,200 Kudo Resort, Patong Phuket (3 nights) 6,300 Harbour View Hotel, Ko Phi Phi (3 nights) 5,250 Pimalai Resort and Spa, Ko Lanta (3 nights) 10,700 Princeville Resort, Ao Nang (3 nights) 6,000 Akira Resort, Ko Lipe (3 nights: Pool Access Room) 14,600 Food and Beverage 17,000 Transportation: flights, taxis and minibuses, speedboats and ferries 13,500 Entertainment: Soi Nana, Soi Cowboy, Soi Bangla, two bar fines 13,000 Miscellaneous 1,000 It was a good time for three thousand bucks. Would have flown from California for this, fortunately didn't have to. Perhaps I'll visit Koh Phangan next, include Ko Samui. Haven't been to Samui since 2004, never been to Phangan. Now would be a good time to go, I'm too old for the full moon party.
  6. 17 points
    We will be open again from 10 am to 12 midnight from Wednesday 1 July. The staff have been busy these last few days getting everything clean and ready to go. It is amazing how many things deteriorated or just broke over the three months we were closed. However everything appears good now and we are keen to get back into it. I have no idea if we can survive and I'm expecting a hard time to even break even with no tourists in town and Cov19 fears still very much on everyone's mind. We are going to give it our best shot though. I do believe the Beer Garden will be a safe venue with ocean on three sides and a nice sea breeze to blow that nasty virus away. Amazingly our liquor supplier agreed to take back old stock beer and replace it with new stock. Still can't quite believe that happened. So break out from that lock-down and come and enjoy yourself at the Pattaya Beer Garden. Feel free to pass on the invite to others on different websites or Facebook. I know there was some speculation here and elsewhere that we would never re-open. It was all fake news 🙂 555 .
  7. 16 points
    Came to town a day early after receiving my new stamp, my tenth retirement extension, so I was in the mood to celebrate. Did a walk-in at Majestic Suites for 750. They gave me Room 203 once again, the room with synergy (sinergy?), so I knew I'd be getting some hot sex. Went over to Soi 11 for a burger, heard Daniel Thaiger would be closing at the end of the month, will have to find another place for my burger fix.🍔 Over to Gaysorn Plaza for some cigars, then over to Central to check out the Christmas decorations. 🎄 This was hilarious. A young Thai child saw the presents and got all excited, grabbed one and started unwrapping it, expecting some cool toys (must have been watching Western movies). His parents intervened to stop the party. The Erawan Shrine, a quiet scene five years after the Uyghur bombing. The Amarin Plaza There's now a Wine Connection on Soi 11, never saw it before. They have a special before 5 PM: a salad, a pasta, and drink for 199. Good deal, and I bought a bottle of wine to take home. 🍾 Then it was Nana Plaza time Found my friend with the spicy taco, featured earlier. She was so happy to see me come into her bar, how could I not bar fine again? Just 20 years old, ripe and juicy, and love her sweet pussy. For breakfast, steak and eggs at Fitzgeralds 🍳 Then over to Rembrandt Suites, which I had booked earlier, but instead of my usual room, they gave me a suite. Very good for 1150/night, including kitchenette with microwave, toaster, lots of plates and silverware, even a washer/dryer and ironing board. 🛏️ Picked up some ED meds for making wood, better than viagra Next, it was time for big milk, i.e. Alisa Rattanachawangkul Went to Apoteka on Soi 11 for live music, but the butch farang woman was not exactly Janis.🎤 Finished the evening at Soi Cowboy Times Square Everywhere was Black Pink promoting Pepsi Headed down to Hua Hin on the train 🚂 for the Jazz Festival Upon my return, went back to Daniel Thaiger for a final burger fix there before the restaurant closed. It was their last day open and they were offering any bottle for 200 baht, so I took the opportunity to sample several Belgian ales. I'm going to miss this place. Before going home, had to go out to Impact Challenger for the Auto Expo 🚘 Then, over to Slanted Taco on Soi 23 for Taco Tuesday before going home 🌮 I had a good time
  8. 16 points
    KO LIPE I didn't realize this island was so tiny. Shaped like a boomerang, only about 3 km long and 2 km wide. You can get anywhere by walking, which is good because there aren't many vehicles except motorbikes (half seem to have sidecars). Ko Lipe is home to about 800 permanent residents, including 500 Sea Gypsies (Chao Ley), who originally settled the island. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moken Reggae music is very popular and you see guys in dreadlocks. There are three main beaches: Sunrise Beach on the east coast, Sunset Beach on the northwest, Pattaya Beach on the south. Naturally, I stayed at Pattaya Beach, 😊 at the Akira Resort. https://www.akiralipe.com/index.php The resort featured three huge pools, the main pool had a swim-up bar I booked a superior Pool Access room and they put me in the back of the resort, furthest from the sea. Booking a Pool Access is risky because you could have a family with screaming kids in the next room. Have nothing against kids, just don't want them screaming next to me. But I had the entire section of 32 units all to myself, including the 60 meter pool. I picked up this bottle of Bordeaux in Phuket. I set up my own swim-up bar The room was nice, not to the standard of the Pimalai, but still very good Despite a limited number of guests, they had a buffet breakfast. I had my breakfast at the beach. I traversed Pattaya Beach over to Walking Street which dissects the island. Where is Pin-Up? Where is Palace? Baccara? No hab! But, unlike my other destinations, most places were open. There weren't any customers, but at least they were open. You can see my hat in this pic if you look into the reflections. OK, the All-U-Can-Eat seafood place was closed, along with a few bars, but most places were open. I had a hunger for some beef, so went to the Steakhouse for Aussie tenderloin, and it was 2-for-1 happy hour. One nice thing about Ko Lipe was there wasn't the mandatory 10% service charge and 7% government tax, anywhere. Even the room service and minibar prices at my resort were very reasonable, but with many restaurants close by, I just went out and everyone seemed to have 2-for-1 happy hour. I was also the only customer at the King Crab Restaurant. There were a few others at Papaya Mom's. One kilo of crab on the barbie, 700 baht. In the early evening, I walked over to Sunset Beach, a much smaller beach, only about 200 meters long. Here are some scenes from Pattaya Beach, I didn't make it over to Sunrise Beach. I awoke early on my departure day but it was overcast and looked like rain after breakfast, so I only saw it from the boat upon departure. At night they had fire shows Unfortunately, it's time to return to Pac Berra. I'd like to come back to Ko Lipe, I thought it was pretty cool. 😎
  9. 16 points
    I had two photo shoots lined up for this visit. The Thais call them trips, so I had two trips this trip. Had the Reuben sandwich at Bourbon Street, after arrival at Ekkami. You see two, but I only ordered one. Definitely not local beef, tender not, but didn't particularly care for the sauerkraut. Of course, this place specializes in Cajun and Mexican, what do they know about sauerkraut? Didn't touch the fries and there was no room for dessert. With an Irish Coffee, about 560 baht. Assigned the 30th floor at the Rembrandt Suites this time, booked 3 nights for 3150 total, excluding breakfast. Anxious to head over to Soi Cowboy, stopped for a cappuccino at Artis on corner Soi 18. Soi Cowboy, again very few customers. The "Arab's" bars closed, as before, as were the ladyboy bars, but I don't visit those anyway. Dollhouse was also closed, however, and Tilac only open outside. In all, I visited Baccara, Crazy House, Crazy Corner, Sharks, Lighthouse, and Cowboy 2 (I think). Next day, lunch at Terminal 21 Fuji Walk down lower Sukhumvit, very peaceful. There were a few freelancers but not many. Soi 7 Soi 5 Soi Arab, i.e Soi 3/1 There's a new place on Soi 13 called the Red Lion, just opened this month. Does good business with expats because of the low prices. Time for my trip, not a Playboy model but busty Later, over to Patpong (didn't visit Nana Plaza this time). Hooters Silom has closed. Took a walk down Soi Thaiya (Little Tokyo), until someone told me "No Photo", even with my cell phone camera. Finally, over to Patpong I and Patpong II, King's Castle I and King's Castle II were having their re-openings. There's also a Kings Castle (without any roman numerals), used to be a ladyboy bar, don't know if it still is. There was no night market, first time I've seen it without one. I was the first customer at King's Castle I, at 7:20 PM. Counted 25 girls on the dance floor, others just arriving. A dozen girls next door at King's Castle II, and 5 customers, mostly farang, one kept tossing crumbled 20 baht notes onto the stage, which really livened things up. 5 or 6 at a time, did it 8 or 9 times. I was the first customer for both bars reopening. Le Bouchon still good for a fine meal, just a few doors from the Star of Light, world famous BJ bar. Mostly boy bars now between Le Bouchon and Pink Panther on the corner at Surawong. Pink Panther has been there for ages, I recall visiting on my first trip to Bangkok in 1992. They feature Thai boxing at 11 PM, I make sure I'm out before then because I'm only interested in the girls. The waitress knows that I always order Long Island Iced Tea and I never have to tell her my drink order. Towards the Silom end of Patpong 2, visited XXX Lounge, used to be a steakhouse and Club Electric Blue before that. More Fuji, salmon steak set with hot saki Playboy Bunny Kanan, as promised, she defines narak. In fact, she's even more cute than the Rhino Tusk! Before heading home, went over to Poseidon Entertainment Plaza, the world's greatest soapy massage parlor. Karaoke and first floor restaurant were closed. Fishbowl was on the second floor, as usual, and they moved the Model Lounge there as well. The Model Lounge used to be on the third floor with girls in evening gowns while the band played soft music. Floors 4 through 8 are suites, and some quite immaculate if you're willing to pay the extra cost. There was no band this evening, but the fishbowl had 15 girls and about 20 girls on The Couch in the Model Lounge, with prices ranging from 4500 to 7200, including the 1000 baht farang surcharge. The mamasan has been the same in the 12 years I've been going there, and she remembers me even though I haven't been there for 18 months, because they don't have a lot or farang customers. The girls are known for their service beyond fucking, but they're good at that too. I heard somewhere this pleasure palace was owned by the father of the Ministry of Commerce. What a country! Hard to say how much the pandemic has affected their business but it was Saturday night and I didn't see another customer. Usually groups of Japanese and Korean businessmen hanging out while the mamasan comes around to introduce some girls. I saw one girl from the fishbowl return to her seat, but maybe she was returning from the ladies room? I chose a girl recommended by the mamasan, not from the referral but because I thought she was the prettiest. She was 27, Bangkok born, and spoke excellent English. She said she'd been working at Poseidon for a year, I guessed she worked in customer service somewhere before. She said the mamasan had instructed her to give me the VIP service, whatever that is. I took some photos of her but she asked that I not post them on the internet. I was surprised she started with a BBBJ on the bed, I'd only had one once before at Poseidon, I expect covered BJ at an exclusive place like this. Reverse cowgirl and other positions, I was surprised to get sex before bathing but wasn't about to complain. She gave a body massage in the tub, her breasts weren't large but natural, just what I like. She kept playing with my dick and said she wanted to fuck some more. I've only had single shot sessions at Poseidon before and this wasn't what I expected. Regrettably, I had to decline her offer as I was exhausted from being on my feet all day and wasn't up for a second round, so she shampooed my hair and washed my face, then gave me a nice massage on the bed. Overall, it was as pleasant a 90 minutes I've had in Thailand, or anywhere else for that matter. She gave me her line and asked to keep in touch and come visit again next time in Bangkok. I'm now three months removed from surgery and thinking about hitting the exercise bike to build up my legs for the next visit. I had a very relaxing bus ride home after this wonderful experience. https://www.poseidon2000.com/index.asp
  10. 16 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, and core coon crap for joining us in the arduous task of trying to find something to talk about when there’s bugger all going on. Roll on July 1 so we can start moaning again. Holidaymakers are respectfully reminded that even though coronavirus restrictions are being eased, social distancing measures must still be strictly followed. In order to ensure compliance, patrons of bars should be aware that they will only be allowed to take girls back to their rooms if they are accompanied by a police officer. To help facilitate this, larger beds are being installed in all hotel rooms to enable a police officer in full protective gear to situate himself between the customer and his barfine to ensure that social distancing is observed at all times. Customers will of course be expected to pay the hotel a joiner fee for the officer as well as his wages for the duration of the encounter. Other than this, everything will be as normal. Enjoy your holiday. A fire broke out at the entrance to Walking Street recently after a truck driver who’d forgotten to lower his onboard crane hit the overhead power cables. Several business premises were damaged and traffic was disrupted while the fire was brought under control. The truck driver claimed he wasn’t aware of the cables as he thought they were all buried underground, a fate he may well be sharing with them if the aggrieved business owners get their hands on him. In an unrelated incident, a Thai chappie was blown to buggery when a transformer exploded on Walking Street as he was passing by. Let’s face it, if a chart was compiled of the most likely ways to die in Pattaya, coronavirus probably wouldn’t make the top 100. If you take a girl from Beach Road, beware. You might end up with a starfish… Following last month’s stories about mask wearing rules in Pattaya, another news item came to light about a man who attempted to rob a gold shop but the saleswoman wouldn’t let him in because he wasn’t wearing a mask. So now shopkeepers wear masks but robbers don’t. The world’s gone stark raving mad. As part of the lockdown easement in Pattaya, the authorities are now considering allowing live music venues to reopen. When asked about social distancing, a spokesman said “No problem. We’re telling them they can only reopen if they promise not to let any customers in.” Local officials have been carrying out inspections after reports that, in order to reopen, some bars have been masquerading as restaurants, though they do acknowledge that Pattaya traditionally has a much bigger problem with restaurants masquerading as restaurants. The Thai armed forces are doing their bit for diversity by announcing a switch to LGBT mines… Very little bar news as one would expect, and none of it good. It looks like Happy won’t be reopening and Rich is up for sale. Sapphire A Go Go is amazingly 10 years old this month. No sign of a party though. Miserable bastards. Perhaps it’s also worth mentioning that the last of the 22 proposed new rules for reopening bars states “Do not allow service staff, hostesses or PR to drink with customers.” This basically means you can buy a girl a lady drink but she won’t sit with you, she’ll just gulp it down and piss off somewhere else. Not much retraining required there then. A sailor from Pattaya recently made a complaint to the police that someone had been using his photo on Facebook to con people out of money in exchange for fake merchandise. However, the police said they didn’t believe the photo was of him and threw him in the cells for impersonating a member of the armed forces and for wasting police time. When asked why they’d done this, they said “Well we’ve had a quiet week.” Time to reminisce about virus-free days now with a pair of ripping yarns from Monkeywatch in June 2010... “Pattaya’s most successful comedy act, the Child and Women Protection Unit, were at it again last Wednesday when they were involved in the arrest of a Thai bloke for possession of porno DVDs that were later found to feature only men. So no women or children then. Silly buggers. In the same vein, so to speak, the local Anti Human Trafficking division arrested two stallholders for selling pirated DVD copies of popular Western and Thai cinema movies. Perhaps someone needs to explain ‘human trafficking’ to them again.” For those of you unable to visit Pattaya due to the pandemic, here’s a recent photo of Walking Street at midnight… A chap was taken to Pattaya hospital the other day after he’d sustained several injuries in a fall and was unable to stand up. Typical pissed up farang you might think, but no, he was in fact a Thai bloke who’d fallen off his bicycle. A hospital spokesman said “We were all surprised when he arrived. We were expecting a pissed up farang.” Thai doctors have warned that people run the risk of serious infection or even death by following the trend of wearing “fashion braces.” Since the warning was announced, a number of Thai men have been observed walking around with their trousers round their ankles. Finally, lovers of haute cuisine will no doubt be pleased to hear that Kiss Food and Drink has reopened with an offer of chicken with chilli and basil, a fried egg, rice and a bottle of water, all for 29 baht. When asked for his opinion on the offer, a local expat said “I think we should boycott the place to discourage this kind of profiteering.” be seeing you monkeyman
  11. 15 points
    This time I booked Majestic Suites on Sukhumvit near Soi Nana, for nostalgia. This and Nana Hotel were the monger's choice because of the location and guest friendliness. They were always booked, you needed reservations a few weeks in advance. I booked with agoda for 950 without breakfast. It used to be 1200 including breakfast, as I recall, when I stayed here frequently 15-18 years ago. Now they're taking walk-ins for 750, I'll remember that for next time. I was assigned room 203, second floor facing Sukhumvit. Glass is thick enough so there's little street noise. I've had some great times in this room and it's just as I remember, they still haven't fixed the TV. But they've replaced the window panels, used to be a lighter brown. For example, here's Fon from Rainbow 1 in 2007. I knew I'd be getting some hot sex here, the room has synergy. I was thinking of a T-Bone at El Gaucho Argentinian Steakhouse all the way in on the bus. Had to get there before 5 PM for the 600 baht discount. Christmas tree is already up at Terminal 21 next door. Art Box is cleared from Chuvit Park and another mall will eventually be occupying that space, adjacent Soi 10. An office building is being constructed on Soi 6, across from Q House. This lot had been empty for years. Lots of traffic during rush hour Lively at Nana Plaza, it's Friday night. Found my short time du jour She left her watch in the bathroom, so I went back to her bar and dropped it off to the mamasan, then headed over to Soi 11 for some live music. There was some across from Taco Bell, but not what I wanted to hear. Stopped at Daniel Thaiger for a beef burger and bottle of 10% Trappist ale. Things were getting started at Insanity Disco. I went to Apoteka. The entertainer was quite good, doing some old classics like (Sitting on) The Dock of the Bay, Ain't No Sunshine, Take it to the Limit, etc, while picking his guitar 🎸 Good stuff. For breakfast, I went over to Fitzgeralds. It was a very quiet Saturday morning on Soi Nana. I had lunch at a place I'd not seen before, the 8855 Cafe and restaurant. Shrimp Pad Thai, only 80 baht, San Miguel draft for 99. It's on the second Soi 8 subsoi, across the street from Lolitas. If you don't see anything there that strikes your fancy, you can that the Soi 6 passage at the end of the Soi and have your knob polished at Kassalong. That's two BJ bars 30-40 meters apart. I made the trip for a photo shoot with Blue. Thought I was in for a treat with a brand new bus home, but it broke down even before getting out of town. This is the third time this has happened to me in the last year. This time, the delay was only 30 minutes, other times an hour.
  12. 15 points
    Yes, The Pattaya Beer Garden will close again (temporarily), with Tuesday 29 September being the last day for the public. We gave it our best shot, after reopening following the initial Covid closure. We have tried now for 3 months but never looked even close to breaking even let alone making a profit. I have been subsidizing the losses to try and keep the jobs going but if I keep doing it I will soon be broke. Our lease came up for renewal during all this and we have signed up for a further 3 years. As soon as the business looks even remotely viable again we will reopen. We have an internet group subscribed by all staff so it is easy to keep in touch and simple to bring them all back again. Thanks to everyone who visited during these trying times. As soon as we decide to open again I will announce it here.
  13. 15 points
    Greeting Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for dropping by, and welcome to this month’s dive into the crystal clear waters of Pattaya (more about that later.) Walking Street has been redubbed Driving Street following the introduction of a new temporary rule allowing vehicles to use it at all times. Anyone now caught walking there will be cautioned by police and if found to be drunk may face a walking ban of up to a year. Closing times look set to remain at midnight so bars will be forced to keep sending their customer(s) home early for the foreseeable future. FFS, the infection rate is zero – how low do they want it to get? A Thai snack vendor whose business folded during the lockdown is now making a living salvaging stuff from garbage bins – which he then sells back to snack vendors. If you visit Nong Nooch, be sure not to miss “The Testicles of Rama”, a revered Thai monument that legend says was on the shortlist for the Seven Wonders of the World but came ninth. The Thai government have yet again started wittering on about getting “high-end tourists” back into Thailand. One can therefore assume from this that they consider Thailand to be a high-end tourist destination. Perhaps they need someone to explain to them why it isn’t. Basically, high-end tourists tend to head for destinations where they won’t be bitten by stray dogs, have their pockets picked by poofs in dresses, risk falling into bottomless pits in the roads and walkways, find beaches covered in raw sewage and waste plastic, have to breathe air with more pollution than a septic tank, be bombarded with fake goods, have to bribe police to get off trumped-up charges, be accosted by women who turn out to be men, get served watered down drinks in bars, be told by the government that they don’t shower often enough, have the shit kicked out of them by doormen who’ve mistaken them for someone else, be vomited on by drunks, be sat on by elephantine women trying to get them to spend 200 baht on a thimbleful of coloured water, have the contents of their hotel safes pilfered and their credit cards cloned by the staff, and be ripped off by taxi drivers and jet ski owners. They also don’t want their top of the range smartphones smashed over their heads because they pointed them at a go go bar for more than half a second, beaches that wash away overnight, to be the targets of drive-by bag snatchers, poisoned by so-called restaurants serving food that’s worse than you’d get in the average prison, blown to buggery by exploding transformers or electrocuted by hanging cables, shot dead in the crossfire of warring gangs, mown down by drunk drivers or drowned on a sinking ferry boat overloaded with Chinese tourists, and end up going home with nothing but empty wallets and a cocktail of chlamydia, Covid-19 and clap. High-end tourists? Dream on. A couple of Soi dogs had to be rescued a couple of weeks ago after they somehow managed to fall into a sewer. Interred in turd, so to speak. One positive thing to come out of the pandemic is the quality of the water by Pattaya Beach, which is now so clean that you can clearly see all the garbage on the sea bed, not to mention all the fish swimming around rather than floating on the surface. Strange times indeed. Pattaya has always had its share of nice spots to visit… Bar news time, and there’s a few comings and goings to report. Paradise and Kink have reopened on LK Metro and Dolls has opened up on Walking Street. Bliss and Bachelor have also reopened on a part-time basis. Far East Rock closed down but then reappeared a few days later. Party Girlz put up adverts for their reopening – then took them down again. And Baby Boom has reportedly had a change of policy and is employing female girls again. A new go go called Moon Light has opened. If you want to check the place out, head for nowhere and you’ll find it right in the middle. A pissed-up Thai bloke crashed his motorbike the other weekend when he tried to pull over to take a leak. In a statement to police, the man said he crashed after being blinded by a shower of urine from his mate on the bike in front who’d elected to take a piss without stopping his bike first. A history lesson for the noobs now with a look back to a couple of snippets from Monkeywatch in August 2010… “The boys in brown carried out yet another raid on Sunee Plaza last weekend, the target this time being the “Nice Boys Go Go Bar”. Reports said that everyone in the bar was urine tested and 13 employees were found to be under the age of 18. It’s amazing what they can find out from urine tests, isn’t it? The Wednesday before last, Pattaya City Hall hosted a meeting for government employees who have volunteered to join a Public Health Ministry sponsored weight loss program. The scheme has officially been called “Bye-Bye Fatty” after employees were asked to choose what they thought to be the most appropriate name. This wasn’t actually the name that got the most votes, but officials felt that “Fuck Off Lard Ass” might potentially stigmatise the participants.” Pattaya continues to maintain its stock of luxury accommodation in anticipation of the return of its traditional quality tourists… A new cafe has opened near Pattaya where tourists can sit and drink coffee while looking at elephants. The manager explained that The Mong Chang Café was the ideal place to go and observe an endangered species at first hand, though some attendees seemed to be unsure as to whether he was referring to the elephants or the tourists. A bloke in East Pattaya has been arrested for rape following an incident late last week. The victim said she didn’t realised she’d been raped until she went shopping and discovered that the man had paid her with forged banknotes. Finally, it’s been announced that Pattaya is to spend 160 million baht on landscaping the beach to attract local tourists. Wow, a million baht per tourist? Now that’s serious money. be seeing you monkeyman
  14. 15 points
    Last week I came to town for the Auto Show, this week for a shoot with a Thai Playboy Bunny. Arrived Ekkami and over to Gateway Mall. Walked up Ekkami for lunch at Bourbon Street. Had Reuben Sandwich on my mind but knew I wouldn't have room for pecan pie so changed to a mushroom Swiss cheese burger. 1/3 pound patty of Australian Angus beef, with an Irish Coffee. Hardly touched the fries. They serve two variations of Pecan Pie, Maple and Georgia-style. Never tried the Georgia-style because I love maple syrup, and it still came with two scoops of peach ice cream. Total damage 948 baht for a burger, pecan pie, and two Irish Coffees. Stayed at the Rembrandt Suites hotel again, 1050 baht this time, same room as the other two times this month. Check in was a breeze because they had my passport info from last week and they even waived the deposit. "We know you", the front desk told me, and they're guest friendly. Registered 3 kg overweight on the in-room scale, need to lay off those burgers! Over to Soi Cowboy, quite a few changes from last week. Baccara has shut off the upstairs, for 45 minutes I was the only customer, but it was early. I usually drink Hoegaarden there, the name screams Baccara, but they were offering Heineken bottles for only 90 baht. In fact, all bars except Crazy House were offering 90 baht drinks all night (100 at Lighthouse). Suzy Wongs ran a special where you received a free drink for buying a lady drink, and they still only had 3 customers. Crazy House had 5 customers. The girls are hungry! Things were also quiet outside Thermae Coffeeshop. Stopped at Art Box, at least they had some music. Dead at Soi Nana, and very few freelancers hanging around. I visited Billboard, Butterflies, Rainbow 4 (formerly Rainbow 5), and Rainbow 5 (formerly Twisters). Everywhere I went, girls were all over me. End of the day I bar fined the hottest girl I could find, only a few thousand to choose from. Next day was my photoshoot with Donut, I don't think she eats many. Still had the Kamegra in my system so I had a boner all afternoon. Finally, stopped at the Thai Terrace at Terminal 21 for some Khao Soi before heading home. Had a great time but spent way too much, I need another stimulus check. I can't support the bar industry all myself but am willing to do my part. 😊 Cheers
  15. 14 points
    KO PHI PHI A 45 minute speedboat ride from Phuket. Known as a party island for backpackers. I never had the desire to visit, not that I see anything wrong with young people having some fun. I just thought it would be too touristy, so now is the time to go! Booked the Harbour View Hotel, just 5 minutes from the pier, on the isthmus with the harbour in front and the beach in back. The best of both worlds. https://www.phiphi-harbourview.com/ Room was OK, nothing fancy. Beach in the rear was picturesque. They normally had a breakfast buffet, but only one other room was occupied when I checked in, so they served a set breakfast. They said I could have as many plates as I wanted but I only needed one. Best thing I liked about the hotel, other than the location, were the large pools. One was between the two buildings, with a wider, deeper one towards the beach. I enjoyed the deeper pool, 1.7 meters. The only bar open was the Beach Bar, fortunately in front of my hotel. I spent a lot of time watching the ships come in while sipping mango margaritas. You could put your feet in the water and get a free fish massage. Behind the pier was a maze of small streets with shops, almost everything was closed. ...except the starving artist There were two seafood restaurants on either side of the pier that seemed to be doing decent business, but they received the worst online reviews so I avoided them. Poor restaurants in good locations can survive if the don't rely on repeat business. Instead, I found a family-run Turkish restaurant, Efe Mediterranean, which offered a 20% covid discount, tasty lamb skewers were only 280 baht, served on a sizzling platter. The next day I went back for the mushroom pizza, only 200 baht. For seafood, I went to a whole-in-the-wall places called Ae's Fish BBQ and had a fried red snapper for 250 baht. I wanted to visit the Viewpoint for some pictures, so I found these stairs up the mountain and thought this was the way. There were some interesting bars back there but they were all closed. Turns out the stairs only led to some backpacker guest houses which were closed. Here you could get a dorm room for 200. ...with a shared bathroom. May as well just hang it over the side, guess the seats are for the ladies. Some decent views up there though. Eventually, I found the correct stairs to the Viewpoint. There was a guesthouse closed, but with employees there cleaning, and they sold me a bottle of water. I needed to rest and they had a nice view. ...then many more stairs to climb. Finally reached Viewpoint #1. There was a 30 baht entrance fee. There was a small park up there. Viewpoint #2 was another 500 meters up an incline. I'm disappointed the Google Fitness app didn't give me more heart points because I certainly exerted myself, I think there's a need for 3-dimentional GPS. Great view from up there. You can see my hotel in the middle of this picture Getting back was much easier. The next day was my two hour ferry ride to Klong Jilad Pier in Krabi for my pick-up to Pimalai Resort on Ko Lanta. NEXT: KO LANTA
  16. 12 points
    After the Bangkok Metropolitan Authority announced the closing of entertainment venues and massage parlors until Jan 4th, I thought this would be a Bangkok Re-Closing report, but that was not the case. Would have went home until after the 4th if my current booking weren't refundable, Bangkok is not much fun without GoGo bars and massage parlors. How about some Phuket Lobster at Savoey Seafood in Terminal 21? El Gaucho Argentinian Steakhouse next door has a 50% off special on steaks Tuesday, but when I showed up the hostess said I needed a reservation to qualify for the 50% savings, so I went next door to Terminal 21 and made a reservation on my phone, then came back a half hour later. I thought it was well worth it to save a thousand baht for the 250g Rib Eye. I still paid 150++ for a baked potato and 380++ for a glass of wine, so the bill came to 1800 including tax and service, but the steak was excellent. The manager said they normally require a two day notice for the 50% discount but he would allow it this time, so I left an additional 100 baht tip. As I mentioned before, I'd shagged lots of girls upstairs in this building when it was City Lodge, managed by Amari. Here's a sampling of some of my favorite bone-in delicacies. Three of these girls are still working the GoGos, into their 30s now. Here's something I haven't seen before, selling Avocados on Sukhumvit Here's another new twist, Lock Boxes in the BTS an MRT stations. Could prove very handy. Went to Indulge Bar at Asoke Intersection for their buy-one, get-one-free Sunday cocktail promotion Started with what I'd had before, the Citrus Comfort, and got a free one The drink I had with Strawberry liquor is called Champagne Supernova The Porn Star Martini is made with Vanilla Absolute Vodka and passion fruit. Shaken, not stirred, and the glass is sugared, not salted This drink was called Mother Theresa Goes to Hollywood, with mango and peach besides vodka and passion fruit. There's only one Mother Theresa, but I had two. My confession is that I ate the mango garnish. This drink served in the Tiki Glass was made with fireball cinnamon whisky. I started to lose focus by now. I finished with a pair of the Jimi Hendrix Xperiences, made with Hendrix Gin and cucumber juice. I don't particularly care for cucumbers, always tell them to hold at Subway, but I really like Jimi Hendrix. The bill for the dozen cocktails came to about 1900, and I left as a Voodoo Chile for the Electric Ladyland of Soi Cowboy. Big Dog's outside Nana Plaza in the afternoon, Jack & Coke 95 baht All the GoGos at Nana Plaza were closed yesterday. I went over to Soi Cowboy and it was business as usual. How can this be? Enforcement is decentralized and each police district controls their own territory. Most of the bars did close at midnight, however. I was glad the GoGos were open because I was horny and had a Chiang Mai beauty on my ToDo list for a while. It was time to get down to business. Pity she was too shy to drop her mask for the camera because she is truly stunning, but shyness is something I find very sexy about Thai women. She's a real sweetheart and we make a perfect couple, I'm only 19 years older than her father. After my pipe was cleared, I headed over to Saxophone Pub at Victory Monument for some live jazz. Hard to find a seat with unobstructed views, a huge middle post holds the old building from collapsing. They serve food, not too impressed with the kitchen, but the music is usually excellent. I'm very happy knowing Soi Cowboy will be open for the countdown tomorrow night. Cheers!
  17. 12 points
    AO NANG I originally had Ko Ngai in this slot but my speedboat tickets were cancelled, so I substituted Ao Nang beach in Krabi province. I'd been here before 10-12 years ago. At first, I booked 3 nights at the Centara Grand Beach Resort for 10,000 but after I found out it was only accessible by boat I cancelled the booking and changed to the Ao Nang Princeville Resort, about half the price and right across the street from the beach. My concern was that I may be temporarily stranded due to inclement weather and miss my first night on Ko Lipe, which was the most expensive resort I booked due to the pool access room. I still needed to arrange transportation to Pacbara Pier near Satun, a 4 hour journey, and the last boat to Ko Lipe was at 3:30 PM. The room at the Princeville was spacious and had a nice balcony and a huge TV for watching football. My whisky bottle is like an hour glass showing how much time I have left of this vacation. After showering, there was a knock at the door and I scrambled to put on a bath robe. The staff were at my door singing "Happy Birthday" with a decadent piece of chocolate cake. LOL. I had to lay down for a couple hours and couldn't eat for the rest of the day as I have difficulty digesting that much sugar. Fortunately, birthdays are only once a year. The town was empty. No chance of getting some Tex-Mex I felt so sorry for the few shopkeepers that were working, they were so happy to see me. I felt obligated to buy something so I bought a personalized passport holder for 100 baht. The beach was empty. The bars were closed I spent one day talking with travel agents to arrange my transportation to Satun, then went over to the Centera Grand Beach Resort, just to see what I was missing. The resort is only accessible by sea if you have luggage, but there's a path around the mountain and through the jungle called "The Monkey Trail" I wouldn't want to drag my luggage through this passageway. Finally, arrived at Phra Nang Beach in front of the Centara resort. The resort looked pretty nice It looked very good for kayaking if that's your thing. Next morning, my taxi arrived promptly at 7 AM. The Princeville Resort had prepared a box breakfast for me, two bananas, an orange, a croissant, a sandwich, orange juice, and water, and I arrived at Pacberra pier at 11 AM. There was an admission of 20 baht to the port and 200 baht for an entry ticket to Tarutao National Marine Park, good for five days. The boat was mostly full and after 30 minutes we stopped at Ko Karutao, an undeveloped island about 26 km long and 11 km wide. I wish I'd skipped Ao Nang and come here instead, taking minibus from Krabi airport and spending the night at Pacberra. There are very limited facilities on the island, all accommodations and restaurants are maintained by the park service. You can rent a tent for 150 baht. The 5th season of the television series Survivor was filmed here. Another hour and pull up the engines for another stop, this time Koh Khai, a small uninhibited island, for more photo opportunities. I just stayed on the boat. The Princeville was nice but I though Ao Nang was a waste of three days. NEXT: KO LIPE
  18. 12 points
    KO LANTA I originally booked a speedboat from Ko Phi Phi to Ko Lanta but this was cancelled due to the pandemic, so I changed my ticket to Klong Jilad Pier in Krabi. My Ko Lanta resort offered free transfer service from/to Krabi airport, quite impressive considering it's two hours. I contacted the resort and asked if they could pick me up at the pier instead and was informed this was possible for a fee of 650 baht. Since the airport was 30 minutes away by taxi, I would only save a few hundred and I was anxious to see this resort, which had received the most stellar online reviews I've ever read. My driver was waiting with a minibus when my ferry arrived at the pier about 11 AM for the two hour trip to Pimalai Resort and Spa. Ko Lanta consists of several islands, the largest being Ko Lanta Noi and Ko Lanta Yai, where all the tourist activity is. When people refer to "Ko Lanta", they usually mean Ko Lanta Yai, an island about 30 km long and 6 km wide. There's no bridge connecting the islands, so you have to queue up at the car ferry to cross the channel. ...UNLESS you're a guest at the Pimalai Resort and Spa, which operates a high-speed jetty. The boatman was prepared for my arrival and I was the only passenger. It took 5 minutes to cross the channel, should have brought my water skis. Another driver in a minivan was waiting on the other side for the final half-hour ride to the resort. I arrived just after 1 PM for an early check-in. Pimalai is a very popular resort for their sea view villas nestled in the mountainside with private pools, 120 square meters for a one-bedroom, starting around 10,000/night, or 20,000 for a 3-bedroom. I booked one of the cheap rooms. My room didn't even have a sea view, unless you looked through the trees. I lived in View Talay 6 for two years and refuse to pay extra for a sea view, it just isn't worth it to me. I walked to the private beach and enjoyed the sea view from there. I was the only person using the beach, except for the guy handing out towels, who brought me a glass of ice water every 20 minutes. That's the level of service you receive at this resort. Beach was clean but the sea was rough at first and I took a pounding, but 80 meters out was over my head and no more whitewater. There were two happy hours, drinks were 320++ or about 185 baht each during happy hours, the only time I drank. I can down a lot of mango daiquiris in two hours. Food was good but expensive. Ink jet pasta with clams, grated cheese on the side, 415++ Lamb kebabs, 495++ Breakfast was included with the room, and served up the mountain in the Seven Seas Restaurant. You were driven up in a golf cart from the lobby and had a choice of eggs Benedict. I opted for smoked salmon, and loaded up on the cheddar cheese. There were stunning views of Kantiang Bay from the restaurant. They served dinner but with a dress code and I didn't bring anything appropriate to wear, so I dined at the Rak Talay Beach restaurant. The hillside estate also featured the Infinity Pool. The beach side estate also had a pool but I swam in the sea. The resort has 121 units spread across 100 acres. The Spa had a 999 baht special, normally 2500. I thought about it but didn't pull the trigger. I left the property only once, because who can afford to eat at the Pimalai every day? I walked down the road for about 20 minutes until I found something open. It was the Drunken Sailors Coffeehouse I had the Calamari burger with fries for 190 baht Next morning a few hours before check-out, I was enjoying the great view at breakfast, thinking the three days couldn't have been any better, when the staff came over with a piece of cake and started singing "Happy Birthday". They must have noticed from my passport when I checked-in. It's these little things that make all the difference and how they treat you like you're special. I took their free transfer to Krabi airport and caught a 150 baht shuttle bus to Ao Nang. If you're looking for the perfect getaway, I strongly recommend the Pimalai Resort and Spa, but bring your wallet. They raised the rates for high season the day I checked out. Here are the current packages, only for Thai Residents. NEXT: AO NANG
  19. 12 points
    I lived in lower Sukhumvit for seven years, until early this year. Hadn't been back for four months. It's a bit different, first things you notice now is the uncongestion and the clean air. There's social distancing everywhere, in the malls and restaurants. I always felt cramped living here because things were sized for Thais, but now I can enjoy my space. Even had a free seat next to me on the bus coming in and out of town and didn't have to pay for it. Gateway Mall I booked the Rembrandt Hotel on Soi 18 for half the regular price, there are some excellent domestic travel deals now, it's a 4-star hotel. They closed down the Rembrandt but put me in the Rembrandt Suites Hotel next door, facing Soi 20, it's newer and the price was less than the Nana Hotel. Hardly any guests were present. An exercise room but I had surgery last month and it's too soon to start working out, would be easy to rupture a tendon after all the antibiotics. Didn't stop me from taking a dip in the pool since they repaired my hernias. Perhapes I'll start weight lifting again in another 6 months or so, if I wish to turn my abdominal wall into swiss cheese again. The hotel had a breakfast buffet for 473 baht, but for the same price I walked over to Chu's at the Exchange Tower for a Norwegian Scramble with a cappuccino. The scramble featured smoked salmon on sourdough toast and the coffee included a small chocolate disk with Chu's stamped into it. I hadn't stayed on Soi 20 since 2003, then at the Windsor Suites, recently closed. At that time I would eat at the German restaurant Bei Otto, so I stopped there for breakfast, the farmers breakfast for 295. I had lunch at nearby Terminal 21, steamed crab in black pepper at the Thai Terrace restaurant I also had lunch in the food court, duck with sesame noodles for 40 baht. The biggest change I saw in the 'hood was the extension of the BTS sky walk at Asoke, now all the way to the Sofitel Hotel, with the Art Box on the south side. If they extend it another half-block, to the Hyatt Regency, you'll be able to take the sky walk between the Asoke and Nana BTS stations. Amazing how uncrowded Sukhumvit was in the mid afternoon on a weekday, here at the Asoke intersection. The first order of business was a haircut, it had been four months, so visited my regular barber on Soi 23. Crazy House was 'open', in a sense. Airing it out for an anticipated re-opening on Wednesday, I guess. Soi Cowboy had the usual food vendors in the afternoon. I visited my regular massage girl, she's talented and pretty but too shy for a photo, and headed over to the Art Box for dinner. Most places were closed and attendance was sparse, but I managed a small chicken burrito with a bottle of water at the Margarita Storm kiosk for 200, and Axe throwing was still in progress, but no bands were performing. Light traffic on Sukhumvit for an early evening Over on Soi 11 it was even more empty, quite a contrast to the days with the VW cocktail buses when every night was a block party. This was at 8:30 PM and nearly deserted. They've now opened a 24 hour Taco Bell to compete with Margarita Storm, just a block from where I used to live. I ordered Beef Taco Supremes for 208 baht, not cheap, and I had to pay 60 baht extra for the beef, with was runny. I should have stayed with the chicken, the best things were the sour cream and crunchy shells. If you consider Taco Bell as Mexican food, that's 9 Mexican restaurants within a kilometer, 10 if you include the Margarita Storm kiosk at the Art Box. The others: Mexicano at the Rembrandt, Soi 20 Margarita Storm, Soi 13 Slanted Taco, Soi 23 The Mexican, next to formerly Annies Massage on Soi 2 Tacos & Salsa, Soi 18 Sunrise Taco, Terminal 21 Cali-Mex Bar & Grill, Soi 11 La Monita Taqueria, Mahatun Plaza I lived in California long time, so enjoy Mexican. The Ambassador, looks like only three floors populated in the tower at right. The string of massage shops that used to be in the alley leading to Soi 13 have been replaced by restaurants. Ole German Beerhaus on Soi 13 but without many customers On the third and last day it was time for my photo shoot with Ammy Then, over to Soi 8 for dinner at Monsoon, this was as far west I went, never made it to Soi Nana, and Lolitas BJ off Soi 8 was closed. Had some Penne Seafood Pasta with a blueberry shake for 480. The Monsoon also serves Mexican, BTW, I've tried their taco salad. One of my favorite restaurants in lower Sukhumvit, good fusion food and not expensive. A very relaxing three days and two nights, and now it's time to head home. I'll be back next month when Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza re-open.
  20. 12 points
    Just a few pics from town today... Beach Rd end of Klang about midday. Showing how quiet it is, but far from the deserted images from the European major cities. Klang towards the beach. Beach Road looking South. The Beach looking South. The Beach looking North. The much changed exchange rates, Soi 7 Soi 8
  21. 11 points
    Another quick visit, arrive Ekkami Bus Station, near Gateway Mall Over to Bourbon Street for a mushroom swiss burger, with Irish Coffee Room 291 at Rembrandt Suites, my home away from home. Booked three nights for total 2840 Stop at Artis for coffee again, corner of Soi 18, across from Lexus Raumchitt Plaza (aka "Room Shit" Plaza), above Thermae Coffeeshop, got a facelift Art Box at Chuvit Garden closed, last day Aug 31st. A real bummer, I really enjoyed spending a lot of time there. I understand a new mall will be taking it's place. There's finally someone home at Q House, I was wondering. Has a very prestigious address: 1 Sukhumvit. No kidding, that's the address. Hope you get more than a studio condo for 147 million baht. Nana Intersection Soi Nana, very quiet, but it's only 8:00 PM There's even a customer in Hooters! Everyone has to be screened entering the Plaza, customers and staff Don't toss your butts off the balcony! I was the first customer in Butterflies, and counted 42 girls on the three stages. Next day, I hung around Siam Square but didn't buy anything. Checking out the new 70-200 mm Nikkor lens, found one shop that had it but they wanted 82,000. Ouch! BTW, Sony wants 90,000 for their version, guess I'll stay with my legacy super zooms for a while. Suddenly, there are Taco Bell's all over. On Soi 11, in the basement of Siam Paragon, this one at MBK. They had a promo, buy any combo and get a free naked chicken taco. A curved piece of spicy chicken serves as the taco shell. I've never heard of this. The staff had to wear hats that looked like a naked chicken taco. I felt sorry for them, reminded me of Brad from Fast Times At Redgemont High. Erawan Shrine, just behind where the bomber sat La Monitas is my favorite place for Mexican in Thailand. I especially like the steak burritos, made with New Zealand Rib Eye. This was in the basement at Siam Paragon, where they charge 75 baht extra for guacamole, it's included when you visit their restaurant in the Mahatun Plaza on Ploenchit Road. I didn't buy the Harley either, can't afford it. But this is my Biker Slut, Bunny Zudeau. She's Hot and Bootylicious! Terminal 21 Tom Yum Goong at Savoey Seafood, you can see Soi Cowboy from the table Great Views And Soi Cowboy was very quite too That's all, folks!
  22. 11 points
    Due to COVID, I decided to set up a dedicated YouTube channel for the Cherry Bar. On this channel, I will uploading all my old videos of the Cherry Bar and of bars from around town. Once the girls are allowed to dance again in the bars again, I will be uploading regular NEW videos from around town and of course from the Cherry Bar. If you like the channel, please Subscribe. Thank You. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzvY0qdBGgE&feature=youtu.be
  23. 11 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for dropping in, and welcome to this month’s look at the shenanigans in Patts, where things are carrying on as normal. Okay, so there are no bars, no Go Go’s, no restaurants, no girls, no alcohol and no going outside your house most of the time, but apart from that it’s business as usual. Well, the Pattaya curfew is well and truly in place and the police have said that anybody breaking it will face a prison sentence, though given the extent of the current lockdown that’s not really much of a deterrent. In fact, the lockdown in Pattaya is now so extreme that prisoners are being threatened with release if they don’t behave. At least they get fed in prison. Probably. Thais who aren’t getting fed are being helped out by food charity events. However, the organisers have recently been told that they must tell the police in advance before any events can be staged. Coincidentally, all the latest events seem to have police officers at the front of the queue. As if things weren’t bad enough, the alcohol sales ban in Pattaya has now been in place for two weeks and has yet another week to go. Thais are starting to ask why they’re being punished for this fiasco and wouldn’t it be better if someone just nuked some common sense into the Chinese. Drinking outside is also banned, though we reckon the police took this a bit too far when they arrested a Thai bloke who got pissed and fell out of his window with a bottle of whisky in his hand. If you’re still thinking of trying to visit Pattaya by some means, be sure to pack a shovel as the only way you’ll get in is to dig a tunnel. If you’re in Pattaya already, a member of the escape committee has informed us that three secret tunnels are currently under construction - Tom, Dick and Harry. A Thai girl said she’d found Dick in her bar but it turned out that she was talking about something else altogether. The authorities seem to have caught on already and have started to put up signs to discourage tunnelling… Thais make all this bloody fuss about us farangs wearing face masks, but their own are usually so badly fitted they may as well be wearing them on their arses. Come to think of it, they’d probably do more good if they did. Pattaya’s Grand Bella Hotel has volunteered to become a field hospital to help in the battle against the nasty bug. Very commendable of course, but one suspects they won’t be inundated with bookings when things return to normal – whatever that is. There’s even been some wild stories of people with the virus coming back from the dead as zombies, though it seems that they were actually Chinese tourists who hadn’t caught it at all. Looking at this, one wishes we could go back to how things were only last year. Oh, hang on, this photo was taken six months ago… Bar news now. They’re all shut – except the ones that aren’t. Sorry officer, didn’t see a thing. Local Thai residents have formed groups called ‘Covid Killers’ to help fight the outbreak in their localities. Don’t fancy their chances of success as the equipment they’ve been issued with appears to consist of a magnifying glass and a hammer. Time to step away from the madness for a moment with couple of ancient tales from Monkeywatch in April 2010… “Meanies in the Thai Government have decided to increase the tax on alcohol this month to discourage all you naughty boys from getting too pissed during Songkran. The increase will be 20 baht per 100ml for drinks containing up to 12 per cent alcohol and 40 baht for anything stronger, so only use bars that water down the drinks. That shouldn’t limit your choice too much. There’s also been some outrageous talk of a further 20 baht tax on drinks sold to foreigners in bars. Perhaps someone should remind them that they’re the bloody foreigners. Last Thursday, the Mayor of Pattaya received a gift of 50 cardboard coffins that are apparently for the use of foreigners. Good idea. All they have to do now is put them under hotel balconies and wait.” Not a name that inspires confidence… The Thai Ministry of Commence has asked shops to cut the price of palm oil by two baht per bottle. Well how about that - they’ve come up with a lockdown exit strategy already. A warehouse in Banglamung burned to the ground a couple of weeks back in a huge fire that could be seen for miles. A large crowd gathered to witness the event, which was described by one onlooker as “the nearest thing to entertainment we’ve seen this month.” When this pandemic thingy is all over and done, Hollywood will no doubt be looking to cash in with a movie version of the whole debacle. Maybe they could call it “Wuhan Flu Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.” be seeing you monkeyman
  24. 11 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers and core coon crap for joining us once again, though you probably haven’t got much else to do at the moment. Ho hum. Predictably, the Kung Flu is still dominating the news in Pattaya. City Hall has announced that pretty much everything has been cancelled for the next six months, including Songkran, the Pattaya Music Festival and the Beach Road Frog Trampling Contest. A long list of cancelled events has been published, though most people don’t seem to have been aware that most of these events existed in the first place. As Joni Mitchell once said, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. And you probably don’t give a monkey’s bollock (she didn’t say that bit.) If that wasn’t enough, it was announced that tourists arriving from certain countries would be asked to quarantine themselves for 14 days. Not much fun if you’ve come to Thailand for a fortnight’s holiday. Though there’s not much chance of that for a while. There’s been some controversy over farangs not wearing masks in Thailand during the current outbreak. Thais seem to be of the opinion that foreigners should be respectful of their culture at this time. So you’ve been told. Wear a mask, eat lots of bugs and drive at 100 mph while pissed out of your mind. Pattaya hotels are refurbishing their rooms in anticipation of the return of the Chinese tourists. Here’s one they’ve just finished… A Chinese chap who’d been to visit Pattaya with a tour group was later found tied up and bundled into a suitcase that had been chucked into the sea. The cause of death hasn’t yet been established though police say they haven’t ruled out suicide. Makes you wonder what they have ruled out. The Health Minister got himself into a spot of hot water after pontificating that Europeans were dirty, didn’t take showers and brought coronavirus to Thailand while fleeing the disease in their own countries. So nothing to do with the Chinese then. Doesn’t come as any surprise really. It’s generally accepted that the Thais don’t like Westerners. Or Russians. Or Chinese. Or Indians. Come to think of it, they don’t seem to like each other too much. Let’s face it, they can’t abide anybody. Welcome to the Land of Smiles. Not content with his previous rant, the minister is now trying to get all the bars, restaurants and nightclubs to stay shut at least until Hell freezes over. Talk about kicking a country when it’s down. We hereby nominated him for the 2020 “Biggest Tosspot Since Purachai Award.” In more enlightened times this man would have been burned at the stake. Pattaya is already preparing to welcome the return of the Chinese tourists with a traditional Thai noose party… Bar news time, and even before the current shutdown it was all all doom and gloom with multiple closures, including three long-established names. Living Dolls Showcase, Heaven Above, Rich, Runway and Club Nevada have all bitten the dust in the last month. At this rate there won’t be any Go Go bars left in Pattaya by the summer, though it probably won’t matter because there won’t be any tourists either. A Thai bloke has been arrested for murder after killing his neighbour because he wouldn’t give him a cigarette. He apparently offed the poor fellow by beating him to death with a pipe. Must have been a bloody big pipe, like that one Sherlock Holmes used to smoke. Actually, if he had a pipe, why did he need a cigarette anyway? Silly bugger. Let’s take a magic carpet ride back to pre-virus days now with a peek at a trio of stories from Monkeywatch in March 2010… “Remember Naklua opening its own version of Walking Street that was going to give Pattaya a whole new image? Well, it’s closed down already. Just more proof if it were needed that social engineering in Pattaya is about as feasible as knitting fog. A worker was rushed to hospital the other week after suffering severe burns in the Nong Pla Lai district while erecting a neon sign outside a convenience store. Locals are referring to the incident as “the tragic events of 7/11”. Seventy people convicted of drunk driving offences have each been sentenced to six hours community service - presumably as baht bus drivers until they sober up.” Post–lockdown civil disorder has already begun in Pattaya with the murder of this wheelie bin… In order to increase demand for rubber, the Rubber Authority of Thailand is to use the substance for manufacturing anatomical models. Funny, thought those things were banned. As soon as the entertainment venues in Pattaya were closed down, there was a mass stampede of temporarily displaced staff to Koh Larn where they all ended up standing shoulder to shoulder like a very big tin of sardines. It would seem that the local government’s social distancing policy needs a spot of tweaking. However, they decided not to bother and just shut the island down completely. So having lost the Chinese and Indian tourists, they’ve now got rid of the Thais as well. Think they might have to adjust their 2020 tourism predictions down a tad. And to finish as we started on a Kung Flu story, all visitors to Thailand (if there are any) must now download an app that will allow the authorities to track them wherever they go. So presumably not owning a mobile phone means you’ll get deported. A bit harsh maybe, but very reminiscent of the British schoolmaster who used to invite some of the younger boys round to his house to see his new state-of-the-art tape recorder. Then the headmaster found out that he didn’t own a tape recorder and he was sent to prison. I mean, what kind of a society is it where a man can be jailed just because he doesn’t own a tape recorder? be seeing you monkeyman
  25. 9 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for dropping in, and welcome to this month’s look at the latest non-events in Tumbleweed City. Well, it looked like Thailand was about to take its first cautious steps in allowing ‘tourists’ back in, though to gain admission you’d have had to be Japanese or Chinese and be prepared to undergo a 31 step administrative equivalent of a special forces assault course followed by two weeks solitary confinement. One wondered why they were giving preferential treatment to the odious little yellow bastards who caused this catastrophe in the first place, and we all hoped it was a trap. And yes, it was a trap alright. They suckered 300 Chinese tourists into paying upfront for 14 days at a quarantine hotel plus 90 days further accommodation and exorbitant visa fees then, just hours before the first arrivals were due, scrapped the whole thing and refused to refund any of their money due to an escape clause buried in the small print. Let’s hope the Covid-ridden little shitweasels get the message and stay away for good. Meanwhile, businesses in Pattaya are trying various cunning ploys to entice people into their premises. One well-known Indian restaurant is offering a free bottle of wine with every meal, though customers have commented that the contents of the bottle bear more than a passing resemblance to the water off Bali Hai Pier. One suspects that this isn’t entirely coincidental. This must be what they mean by a Covid bubble... Local government has been approached to reimburse a Rayong fisherman for the loss of his boat after it was allegedly sunk by a water spout while he was plying his trade. He’s claiming over 90,000 baht for the recovery and repair of his boat, though the recently recovered vessel looks like it wouldn’t have withstood a sustained attack from a water pistol, let alone a water spout. Those in the know have suggested he’s unlikely to come out of this with more than 500 baht and a kick up the arse (and he probably won’t get the 500 baht.) In another first for Pattaya, a plastic recycling plant has come up with a novel new way of recycling material by converting it into heat. Or to put it another way, the whole place burned to the ground. Well it’s a sort of recycling, innit? A mentally ill Thai man had to be rescued recently after climbing a telephone tower in Pattaya and refusing to come down. Hang on, this exact same thing happened a few months back with another Thai bloke who had mental health issues. So why do Thai nutters all make a beeline for phone towers then? Could the 5G conspiracy theorists be right after all? Wind back to pre-Covid days now with a trio of yarns from Monkeywatch in October 2010… “City Hall has been having a bit of a hissy fit about the large quantities of litter being strewn around the locality by tourists and business operators. They reckon it’s ruining the image of Pattaya’s beaches. That’s a little bit like ruining the image of a turd by dropping a cigarette butt onto it. The Health and Safety people have also been having a go, and last week called a meeting with Pattaya’s street food vendors following complaints from customers about hygiene standards. They cited a particular example of a Thai customer who was incensed after finding a grasshopper in his bag of cockroaches. A Pattaya pharmacist was arrested a couple of weeks ago after it was discovered that he was selling fake Viagra tablets to unsuspecting holidaymakers. He now faces a sentence of five years soft labour. People are still asking why they have to be careful what they post on boards about the goings-on in bars when it’s widely accepted that the boys in brown already know, so here’s a little reminder. It’s quite simple. You see, it’s one thing for them to know, but entirely another if we let them know that we know that they know, because once they know that we know that they know, then they know that they have to let the bar know that they know, or they know that those in the know will know that they know even though they’re pretending that they don’t know. So now you know.” To help pay for the pandemic, City Hall is selling off Pattaya Beach at 1000 baht per scoop. Don’t all rush at once… Bar news now, and it wasn’t a good start to the month with the closure of Pattaya Beer Garden, Glass House, Bliss and Far East Rock 2, but it’s not all doom and gloom. Baccara, Sensations, Lighthouse, Shark and Party Girlz have all reopened and Heaven Above looks set to open in its new location on Soi Boomerang (good street name for a bar trying to make a comeback.) There’s one thing about all this kung flu nonsense that might work to our advantage. When a vaccine does become available, a lot of us old buzzards should be at the front of the queue for an armful and could be back in action while the young whippersnappers are still queuing at the starting gate for their fix. Just think, we could all be the girls’ hansum young men again, at least for a while. That’s what it’s all about – getting a few in before the lights go out. A golf course cashier has been arrested after being caught using the stolen credit card of a Japanese customer. The thief was apprehended after making the mistake of using the card to buy regular sized condoms, a dead giveaway as these are of course several sizes bigger than those manufactured for the Japanese market. As the Japanese say, give them quarter of an inch and they’ll take a mile. Looks like Beach Road’s preparing for a visit from the mayor… Two local Pattaya women were pulled out of a pickup truck after it was found under a large tree following a heavy rainstorm. Police arrived on the scene shortly afterwards and proceeded to arrest the women for trying to steal the tree. When it was pointed out that the truck had been moving at the time of the incident, a police spokesman replied “These drive-by thefts are becoming more and more common. We’ve already had three handbags stolen this way since the beginning of the week.” In another tree story, a motorcyclist was killed the other day after hitting one at high speed on Jomtien Second Road. Witness statements say that the man wasn’t wearing a helmet, though this is subject to confirmation as the police haven’t found his head yet. And we can’t finish without mentioning that, as of five days ago, there are a grand total of 39 foreign tourists in Thailand. And they’re all Chinese. Happy days are here again. be seeing you monkeyman
  26. 9 points
    Back on topic I needed a new laptop, so headed to the Apple store at massive IconSiam mall, the first Apple store in Thailand. There's a free shuttle boat at Sathorn Pier, BTS Saphan Taksin. The journey takes 5 minutes, boats run every 20 minutes or so. Across the river from the mall is the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, rates start over 15,000/night. They have suites named after some of the famous writers that have been guests. They have the Gore Vidal suite, the Tennessee Williams suite, the Somerset Maughan suite, and best in the house is the Mark Twain suite. Others are named after Joseph Conrad, James Michener, and Norman Mailer. Hang out in the Bamboo Bar when the Rolling Stones are playing in town and you'll see Mick Jagger, because this is where they stay. You can see the Lebua at State Tower to the right, with the dome. They serve a special hangover 2 cocktail on the rooftop bar, inspired by the movie, since the hotel was a shooting location. IconSiam mall is over half million Square meters of retail space, it opened less than 2 years ago. Some impressive art work inside. Here's a statue made of hoses. Took a while to locate the Apple store. Also bought some vintage Levi's bluejeans in the Levi's store, as long as I was there. Finished the day with a seafood dinner with river prawns.
  27. 9 points
    Came to town to attend the Auto Show. Arrived at the Ekkamai Bus Station and stopped at Gateway Mall for lunch. Tried a pasta dish, a regrettable decision. It was supposed to be garlic mussels but the chef must have run out of garlic and substituted salt. 😡 Taste horrible. Stayed at Rembrandt Suites again, 29th floor, same room as two weeks ago. Only a few food vendors were around Soi Cowboy in the afternoon. I checked out the new beer bar area adjacent Soi 7 Beer Garden. One bar called Beers and Birds had a promotion, two Mojitos for 150, but made with SongSom instead of Baccardi. Fortunately, they were each made a double shot. Then over to Nana Plaza, first time for me since February, and the place was empty. Next day it was the Auto Show at Impact Challenger in Nonthaburi, with over 60,000 square meters, it's currently the worlds largest column-free hall. There's a nice restaurant where I like to dine called Champagne Bistro. Flann O'Brian's Irish Pub is at the ground level. Finished the evening at Soi Cowboy. Dinner at Slanted Taco on Soi 23 I'll be back next week for another Playboy Bunny shoot.
  28. 9 points
    Thought I make the most of the hot weather (without knowing that today was going to be the hottest day of the year so far) and take myself down to the River Thames for a walk. Started in Brentford, over Kew bridge and down the towpath, through Richmond to stop of for a few beers at work, and then carried down to Teddington where I called it a day and took the bus home! IMG_9783.MP4
  29. 9 points
    So quiet and social distancing in Big-CX. I believe this used to be an 'Erotic Massage' place on Soi Buakhao, perhaps recently mentioned by @tallguy it is no more. Also Nemo's on Buakhao still shut, didn't think to check the one on Soi Diana. Nearby traditional places open. The rate on the street today, a TT Exchange is open! Hellfire crossing, with many fewer casualties these days. Soi Pothole looking quiet to the East...... And the West.... A few minutes earlier I was told 'no customer, no have money, hungry......' Not sure if I covered this with my tip....... I would have got more pics but rain drove me to the Mall.
  30. 9 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to this month’s disease ridden edition. Masks on and off we go. The big story at the moment is of course the spreading of the Woohoo Flu to Thailand. The authorities have issued various guidelines in an attempt to keep holidaymakers safe, such as wear a mask, keep away from wild animals and if you see a Chinese tourist, shoot first and ask questions later. Pattaya Hospital has announced that is now fully equipped to deal with the virus – they’ve just received a consignment of coffins and body bags. The Thai government is considering extending Songkran this year to increase tourism. Would’ve thought that was the one thing guaranteed to decrease it. Refreshingly honest… A cheeky thief snatched the bag of a Chinese tourist who was standing right next to a police box in North Pattaya the other week. Police immediately set of in pursuit of the miscreant but were unable to apprehend him. When the officers returned they found that their police box had been stolen. Thieves in most places will steal anything that isn’t nailed down. In Pattaya they’ll steal it anyway and take the nails as well. A serial pickpocket has been arrested yet again, this time for picking the pocket of an Indian tourist. When asked what kind of person would choose an Indian tourist to pickpocket, the miscreant replied “Somebody who needs a new pocket.” Reminisce as we waft you back in time with a trio of memories from Monkeywatch in February 2010… “A Russian tourist was sliced in two by a speedboat the other Monday whilst swimming in a boating channel off the coast of Koh Larn. A police spokesman said they were still trying to locate the man’s other half, though it’s unclear at this stage whether or not they were referring to his wife. The other Monday, a street vendor staggered into Dongtan Police Station to report that he had been robbed at gunpoint while selling bags to tourists. A statement from the police said that this was a clear case of Bagman and Robbin’. A Norwegian bloke made a complaint to Pattaya Police the other week that 34,675 baht had gone missing from his hotel safety deposit box. He was immediately arrested for pedantry and placed on the sex offenders’ register.” City Hall was ordered to submit plans for a green transport initiative. This is what they came up with… A bit of bar news now, and Harem has reclosed, reopened and reclosed, whereas Party Girlz, not to be outdone, has reopened, reclosed, reopened again and reclosed again. Pulse has also just closed but this one looks to be more permanent. The Dark Knight rises on LK Metro with the opening of Rise, which uses the Batman logo in its sign. Perhaps they should’ve called it Even Newer Bat. Angel has closed too as the number of Go Go’s continues its steady decline. Black Snake Club, however, has been de-poofterized and is now a coyote bar avec girlies. Expect a closure soon. A local boat captain had a bit of a surprise earlier this month when he spotted what he had initially thought to be a dead dog in the water but was actually a dead deer. He said he’d no previous experience of dead deer though he’d heard that farangs often use the expression when visiting Go Go bars. Speaking of floaty dead things, a swarthy chap of indeterminate ethnicity has been found floating in Pattaya Bay with an 8 kilogram stone hanging round his neck. Police are running checks to see if any Elizabeth Taylor impersonators have been reported missing. Looks like at least one Chinese tour group has managed to get to Pattaya… Despite the massive drop in Chinese tourists, ferries are still running to Koh Larn, but the operators say they may not be able to keep running with the reduced passenger number as the boats are now only 50 percent overloaded. A man is being sought by police for threatening staff in a traditional Thai massage shop when the masseuse refused to give him a “happy ending”. The strange thing is that this wasn’t some dumb newbie tourist but actually a Thai dude. It’s one thing not understanding a foreign culture but not understanding your own? Silly bugger. Suppose we can’t close without mentioning the Brit bloke who had to call an ambulance after ripping the end of his dick off while shagging his hourly rental girlfriend in a particularly vigorous manner. Not so much a dickhead as a no dickhead. be seeing you monkeyman
  31. 9 points
    Update on the Beach Rd drainage project. Concrete drain forms in place and ready for use on the north end. Breaking up the existing pavement is now up to Soi 2. And digging commences at Soi 3. They've tied the trees to each other to keep the ones closest to the road from toppling over due to soil erosion. This is odd. Where's the connecting drain south of Soi 6. Gutters and pavement being poured just north of Klang intersection. Turned my camera to sea and what do I see. Only two parasailers in the air this morning. South of Klang, drain covers going in. Around Soi 8, gutter work is pretty much done. With the exception of a few places where drain access points are being worked on. Boardwalk across from Mike's Mall is looking very rough and on its last legs. South of Soi 12, only the curbs need to be installed. New curbs installed up to Royal Garden Plaza. If it were me, I would have installed curbs at least twice as high to keep more of the storm water from flowing onto the footpath. At the south end, work still needs to be done to connect to the pumping station. Anyone need a used IV bag. Quite the garbage pit on the south end. No way would I want to step on this access lid.
  32. 8 points
    I think that was the most intelligent thing Bullfrog has ever posted ..
  33. 8 points
    I live in Chanthaburi, just an hour from the Koh Chang Ferry. There have only been 3 confirmed cases of covid in the province, none since March. I may move back to Pattaya sometime this year, just looking at the low rents on bahtsold, may even buy a condo if I can find a fire sale. Back to Bangkok, I ate at The Game for the first time, had a hot dog. Sorry to inform Bullfrog, The Mexican is a casualty. RIP. Bully's Pub is still open Hooters have a 50% discount on food from 3-4 PM every day, even on NYE. I had some Shrimp Tacos with coleslaw and a 'Tropical' Long Island Iced Tea. Bill came to 500, including tax and service, and I tipped the lovely lady for her photo. Stopped at the Landmark Hotel for a draft beer Chuvit Gardens adjacent Soi 10 looks almost like an autumn day in New England The bartenders at Nana told me Soi Cowboy was shut down on the 30th, but I went to see for myself. At least the music bars on the Asoke end were open. I haven't been to Country Road since 2003, listening to a few songs, I remembered why. A few bars were having private parties outside for their staff. I had a pepperoni pizza at Oasis, could only eat half, had the rest for breakfast this morning. Crazy House was the only GoGo open, but without dancers. You could go upstairs and sit with a lady, such was the state of affairs on NYE 2020. I thought about going over to Thermae but had enough to drink and wasn't interested in taking a lady, so I called it a night early. A fitting end to a shitty year, hopefully this year will bring better things. I'm heading home but coming back next week after the GoGo bars reopen. Happy New Year!
  34. 8 points
    I attend this event every year. With the pandemic, there's less international flavor this year but still lots of great jazz music in Thailand. The late King Bhumibol was quite accomplished on the saxophone and his influence promoted the genre. Showed up at Hua Lamphong station at noon and all departures were cancelled until 5 PM. Waited around the station all afternoon. Finally boarded my 2nd class seat in air-conditioned coach for the 6-hour journey. Ticket cost was 402 baht. I booked the Centera Grand Beach Resort, adjacent to the festival stage, where I could use one of the beach chairs to enjoy the performances in style. I booked one of the Duplex Suites, very comfortable accommodations indeed Bedroom is upstairs Love the colonial motif of the resort, and the grounds are beautifully landscaped They call this lounge The Museum, where you go for afternoon tea There are three pools, but no swim-up bar like at the nearby Hilton Tons of activities available like tennis, bad mitten, table tennis, darts, lawn boules, etc Play areas for the kids I skipped the opening ceremonies and went over to the food area for a bratwurst. There's a second stage set up there for some of the lesser known acts Back to the main Beach Stage for KOH Mr. Saxman, one of the headliners every year. Found some of his material on YouTube, he's very talented IMHO. See if you agree. He also sings Next was KOH Mr. Saxman with Blues signer Keithen Carter Then with trumpet player Steve Cannon The lovely songstress Varitda wowed the audience with her silky smooth voice and outfit, and I loved her hat. She spoke Thai to the crowd but only sang English language songs, finished her set with Mel Torme's Christmas Song. She was well known to the audience, many held up signs with her name in lights. Here's some material from YouTube I was about to leave after Varitda when some Thai college students sitting next to me said, "No, you can't leave now. There's a famous singer coming up, we just came to see him." Well OK, I don't want to offend anyone so I hung around another couple hours. The next act wasn't that great. The headliner came around 12:30 and he was very good. Two very hot female dancers, dressed in black with black bras, added to the excitement. The headliner wore a white jacket and sunglasses. The crowd was very responsive. He came down into the audience and shook peoples hands. At several points, he paused singing and motioned to the audience, which continued singing the song. Everyone seemed to know his songs and the lyrics as well. Also found some of his material on YouTube, he closed the evenings entertainment at 1:35 AM. NEXT: DAY 2
  35. 8 points
    Day 2, I started with some lunch at the Resort's restaurant, Coast. Rock Lobster and seafood pasta with a Piña colada, which came with the shot of rum served on the side. I don't think I've ever seen this before. Rum doesn't taste very good but mixes extremely well with fruit juices. This time, I arrived early and staked out my territory in this beach chair near the stage that I would occupy for the next ten hours. The Festival started promptly at 7 PM Julian Cary is a young African-American from Colorado that teaches jazz studies at Silpakorn University KOH Mr. Saxman was on stage once again. This black woman sang a song in Spanish, great stuff The crowd was captivated, including the giant panda A series of divas followed, each singing a single song. They weren't great but didn't embarrass themselves either. The blonde had hot legs This one was super cute This guy displayed showmanship, and a great haircut The Cottonmouth Blues Band, featuring Keith Nolan from Edinburgh, are sometimes featured Sundays at Check In 99 on Sukhumvit Soi 33 A Thai pop band called Season Five closed the Festival around 1 AM, they were pretty good. They seemed to gain the attention of the girls in the audience Here's a music video that has over 19 million views on YouTube Yeah, it was a fine show despite fewer international performers this year. Sunday was clean-up, they removed the stage quickly before it could be washed away by the tide. There was some controversy in the aftermath due to the Singha tent on the beach. It's possible the festival organizers could face criminal charges for selling alcohol on public property. I think this festival has been happening 15 years and I've always seen them selling beer on the beach. Unfortunately, there may be some changes in store next year. Stopped at La Villa for an Aussie tenderloin in green pepper sauce on my way to the train station. Only 3rd class was available for the trip back, but you don't really need the air conditioning if the train is moving. The fare was 44 baht. Destination wasn't Hua Lamphong station but the newly opened station at Bang Sue that I hadn't seen before
  36. 8 points
    Today I am celebrating four years of owning Le Pub. I have put together this video about how i ended up owing a bar in Pattaya. I hope you enjoy it.
  37. 8 points
  38. 8 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for another month, and welcome to another desperate attempt to wring a few stories out of the bugger all that’s going on in Patts these days. The Pattaya Music Festival is set to go ahead with social distancing measures in place, which are expected to be scrupulously observed by most of the public who say they plan to be as far away from the event as possible. Dodgy electrics have claimed yet another victim after a local Thai chap was blown up and flung from the top of a high building while trying to repair a broken air conditioner. His fate was not immediately recognised as his remains at the foot of the building were initially mistaken for a discarded takeaway curry. He probably would’ve tasted better than some of the takeaway curries we’ve had lately. A fire in North Pattaya has destroyed a six storey building and a warehouse. Authorities tried to put a positive spin on the affair by pointing out that no foreign tourists were injured. So who dreams of large green erections then?... Police called a meeting of 130 entertainment venue owners earlier this month to check that they were still adhering to coronavirus restrictions. The owners said they were and the police thanked them and sent them on their way. Law enforcement at its finest. Banglamung officials have been carrying out spot checks on bars in Pattaya to ensure the Covid 19 rules are being followed. A spokesman confirmed they hadn’t found any customers breaking the rules, though he later admitted this was probably because they hadn’t actually found any customers. Pattaya is a place where the expression “elephant in the room” now has its own special meaning. The other night, a local man was woken by a commotion in his house, and on turning on the light was surprised to discover – you guessed it - an elephant in the room. That’s the trouble with elephants you see – they just take things too literally. Police are seeking a Thai man who’s been scamming people for parking fees on Beach Road by cunningly disguising himself as a traffic warden… Bar news now, and we start with the surprise return of Classroom to Soi Pattayaland. Just like the old days? Who knows? Baccara is also set to reopen, allegedly today. Wonder what the line-up will be like? Devil’s Den has closed down but plans to reopen in a new location when the tourists are allowed to return – if they ever are. A fake bank robbery was staged by Pattaya police last week for some reason or another (probably didn’t have anything else to do). After about 20 minutes of intensive police work, two Burmese workers were arrested but both claimed they’d been fitted up and the money used for the exercise has mysteriously disappeared. The men were nonetheless found to be guilty and will face a firing squad next week, though as it was only a drill the guns won’t be loaded – well, most of them won’t. Time for a time slip in the shape of a couple of old clippings from Monkeywatch in September 2010… “Punch-ups in Patts are big news at the moment, and there was another one a couple of Sundays ago in which six Thai blokes attacked a chap and gave him a good kicking. Nothing new you may say, except that this time it wasn’t at a bar or Go Go, it was at the Sutawat Temple in East Pattaya - and all the brawlers were monks. Hell’s teeth, what’s the world coming to? The way things are going you’ll have to be careful how you look at a nun if you don’t want her boot in your groin. A double suicide was reported to have taken place in North Pattaya the other Friday. Funny, I thought you could only do it once.” Another example of why Pattaya is the destination of choice for quality tourists… Local health officials wish to make it clear that the medical advice recently given stating that condoms should always be used for the duration of the current pandemic was only meant to apply to people while they were having sex. Thailand has been added to the UK travel corridor list so Brits can now travel freely to the Land of Smiles – and be sent straight back home when they do. Finally, it’s been incorrectly reported in some quarters that Thailand is to consider granting permanent residence to anyone who buys a condom. In fact, you have to buy a condo. Shit, and I bought a whole bloody packet. be seeing you monkeyman
  39. 8 points
    Ok guys, So since the board has been upgraded I have been using a 3rd party email service called SendGrid. Its free, but its limited to 100 emails per day... and while I don't fully understand their limits since it has let us go up to 120% sometimes and sometimes it doesn't... its been a bit of a pain overall because we go over 100 emails 9 days out of 10, resulting in many emails not going out - including "forgot password" and other important emails. The underlying issue is that email is very complicated to set up properly, and I am not a linux expert... e.g. I was not confident enough in my linux skills to properly set email up to make sure all the different gotchas are covered. That all changed about a year back when I took over control of a hosting company from another pattaya expat that passed away. Those server were also linux, and since taking that business over I have had to learn all the things I didn't know before... so while im still far from an expert, I have been able to get things sorted out where I feel comfortable with it. Sooooooo I just switched us over from using a non-exiting "admin@pattayatalk" email via sendgrid to a real "forums@pattayatalk" email running on a different server, but still in my rack... that way if email starts getting hammered it won't slow down the forums. So we are now up on that and all limits have been removed... so feel free to subscribe to whatever threads you want from here on 🙂 It will be 24 hours before I know for sure its working... but the tests have passed, so it looks good. Frosty
  40. 8 points
    Radio Interview Note: This is an exact transcript of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. Woman Radio Host: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?" General Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." Woman Radio Host: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" General Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range." Woman Radio Host: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" General Reinwald: "I don't see how, "We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm." Woman Radio Host: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers." General Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?"
  41. 8 points
    Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap once more, and welcome to this month’s look at No-Fun City as it slowly creaks back to life. As foreign tourists continue to have the door into Thailand slammed in their faces, the government is spending billions of baht bailing out their tourist industry by effectively paying Thai people to go on holiday as part of a venture known as “We Tour Thailand”. Hotel rooms, tourist attractions and airline tickets are just a few of the items to be heavily subsidised in order to get the tourist industry moving again. Hotel owners have responded enthusiastically to the government’s 40% room subsidy – by raising their prices by 40% so they’ll get more government money. Thai economics at its finest. A similar venture called “Tour to Share Happiness” has also been launched to reward Thai medical and health staff for not killing too many people during the current pandemic. There was pandemonium a couple of days ago when a temple crematorium exploded in the middle of a funeral, causing mourners to dive for cover. The explosion was thought to have been caused by a gas leak and caused extensive damage. Police said it was difficult to establish how many people had been killed as some of the bodies were probably already dead prior to the incident, but said it didn’t matter as they were putting Covid-19 on all the death certificates. Police were called to a bar on Soi 6 after a report that a group of 12 Indian men were sitting together without face masks. The officers left after a short conversation with the men and told the bar owner “No problem. They’re all staying in the same hotel room.” Some bars may be taking social distancing a little too far… A school for the blind in Pattaya is hoping that a move to online donations will help replenish its funds after they were caught napping by a sharp downturn as a result of the coronavirus outbreak. Definitely a lack of vision there. A Thai schoolteacher is in hot water with the education authorities after she allegedly humiliated a girl pupil by giving her an “ugly” haircut as a punishment for wearing her hair too long. The teacher strenuously denied the allegation and said she planned to call Donald Trump and Boris Johnson as expert witnesses. It seems that some of the closed beer bars in Pattaya are being used as temporary accommodation for homeless people. They’re quite easy to spot – they’re better dressed than the regular punters. So who wants a fully furnished pool?... Bar news now, and at last there’s some good news with 20 or so go go’s already back up and running and more being added every day, though Atlantis appears to have closed down again already. Kiss has also bitten the dust and is up for sale. The Ministry of Social Development and Human Security (catchy little name) have announced that they will be paying out 3000 baht in COVD-19 compensation to 6 million vulnerable people. A spokesman for the vulnerable people thanked them for their generosity but said they were really hoping for 3000 baht each. Forward to the past now with a peek at a trio of old stories from Monkeywatch in July 2010… “The ubiquitous Child and Women Protection Unit still seem to be having an identity crisis, as one of their latest escapades was to bust a World Cup gambling operation in a shop near Third Road. The shop owner was arrested and a punter who was caught placing a bet on England to win the World Cup was sent to a local hospital for psychiatric reports. Pattaya made the Thailand national news the other weekend after a UFO was sighted and filmed by an employee of a local skydiving company. An expert initially identified it as a weather balloon but later conceded that it might have been a German tourist bungee jumping On the last Friday in June, Beach Road hosted a special United Nations sponsored Anti-Human Trafficking Concert. So what exactly are anti-humans then? Are they like anti-matter? Anyway, don’t traffic them. You have been warned.” Looks like the Prince Andrew Hotel has had a name change… A Cambodian bloke amazingly survived after being struck but lightning the other day. He just got up, brushed himself down and rushed off, saying he needed to buy a load of lottery tickets double quick. While most hotels are struggling to fill their rooms, business seems to be booming for one hotel group. We believe they’re called Quarantine. Finally, an elderly local Thai man has received yet another warning from police after stripping naked on Bangsaen Beach and shouting at the waves. Silly old Canute. be seeing you monkeyman
  42. 8 points
    Had a nice ride out to Huai Chak Nok Reservoir today. The water situation is looking pretty dire there too. Google Earth view of the photo stops today. I've also noted the change in the water's edge since the last update on 28 December. Pic 1 Pic 2 For comparison, pic from 28 December Pic 3: Workers taking advantage of the low water levels to dig a channel into the shallow part of the reservoir. Should help in future draughts as they won't have to set up pumps to get the water from the shallow areas into the main body of water. Pic 4 Pic 5 Pic 6: Interesting erosion lines and rock structures in the exposed lakebed. Pic 7 Final pic is looking at the south end of the reservoir on the other side of the road.
  43. 7 points
  44. 7 points
  45. 7 points
    Cologne, people...😉
  46. 7 points
    For those in the UK.
  47. 7 points
    The International Date Line is what sponsors use in their home country to phone their thai girlfriend up on isn't it ???
  48. 7 points
    Running a business in Pattaya for 15 years has been hard. But just basically surviving the next 15 weeks or maybe even months will be tougher. So if you're in town, feeling thirsty and after some free food on Saturday night. Please pop into the Cherry Bar on Soi Diana. (next to Papagayo). Your support would be much appreciated.
  49. 7 points
    It seems breakfast is not one of your talents. Eather stay in bed and avoid it, or follow the breakfast rules adhered to by the civilised world. 1. Breakfast to be conducted at a low volume. Shouting "HEY BURT WHAT THE FRICKIN FRICK IS THIS? " in the buffet queue is unacceptable. 2. There may well be people around with hangovers. They will certainly stick to rule 1. Unless confronted by a confused loud person who. Instead of getting on with breakfast in a quite orderly manner, is now holding everyone up to take buffet pictures. Then you may hear a quiet. "Twat" being aimed in your direction. Take the hint and stop fucking about. 3. If in doubt stick to tea/coffee and toast. If the toaster looks like it might be a technical challenge for you, quietly admit you are a breakfast novice an skip the toast. Maybe you can come back later and have a practice when everyone else has finished. 4. If your other half is visually offensive or prone to talking.. Don't take her to breakfast!
  50. 7 points
    A549BCA9-3314-4B17-BA4E-C0AA5695E022.MP4
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