Grumpy Old Expats....

[jacko 8,822]

Inspired by a UK TV programme, Grumpy Old Men, and statements from tourists like 'Expats, is there anything they don't know', I thought it might be amusing for us who reside in LOS, to take the piss. What do you see about town that makes you laugh inside, or shake your head,or inspire a rant? Gary and Bratpack,Joe and all assunder, come forth and grumble.

 

In Trip reports, I laughed at some guy with sunglasses propped on top of his head at midnight, in a dark bar!

I am amused by body builders walking around town in little singlets and high sided shorts prancing on their toes like they have 2 rolls of carpet under their arms.(Pass the bananas).

What looked like a military guy with a back-pack and a tube leading from it to near his mouth, presumably dispensing chilled water (there are bars mate!)

 

Don't get me started on those bluetooth earpieces!

 

Have I left any out?

Edited August 7, 2011 by jacko

[joekicker 53]

Have I left any out?

 

Yes but you've made a good start.

 

Why don't they show the (insert back-home local team) games? Why don't the Thais speak English? What's with the fork and spoon and the idiot waiter who wouldn't bring me a knife?

 

The noobs with a map, ranting that the taxi/baht bus STILL didn't take them where they showed them where to go - this is a sad sight, even though I LMAO every time I see it.

 

I must say that one of the really off-putting things for this grumpy old guy is foreigners demanding in Thailand (and elsewhere of course) exactly what they had at home. Why come? And fergawdsake why not go back? NOW! I've been in a lot of places in my misspent life, and in every one of them I tried to soak up and absorb, even try to understand, but always, ALWAYS revel in the differences. Hated some places. Appalled by others. Really liked a bunch of them, and settled on one, well, two really, as "the best, although far from perfect". But in every case, EVERY case I knew and wanted it to be different.

 

The idea that every place I go would be same as where I come from makes me want to puke. The fact that the world is slowly becoming more and more homogeonised with the US-style strip malls and food choices (not limited to chains) and laws and government crackdowns and government tracking people makes me THRILLED that I won't be around in 100 years when I fear everywhere WILL be the same.

 

Hey, you asked.

 

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[Grandpollo 366]

What's with the fork and spoon and the idiot waiter who wouldn't bring me a knife?

Hey, you asked.

 

When I stayed in Bangkok in May the hotel, a classy one, didn't have a Thai menu (I mean a menu, written in Thai - they did have some Thai food) and the Thai waitress was surprised when I asked for a spoon for the TG with me in the restaurant, so it isn't just the tourists that must wonder about this.

 

For the former I told the waitress to grab a chair and read every single menu item until there was something the TG liked.

 

Yet across the street the Australian Bar had Thai menus and food, Thai waitresses (pretty hot, too BTW) and a fork and spoon showed up as a norm. So you never know.

[joekicker 53]

Yet across the street the Australian Bar had Thai menus and food, Thai waitresses (pretty hot, too BTW) and a fork and spoon showed up as a norm. So you never know.

 

Yeah, what I mean by everything getting to be the same. It's not there yet thank Jaweh!

 

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[spike 236]

I have a question for the grumpy ex-pats....

 

If the average life expectancy of a Thai male is a little less than 66 years of age... http://www.tradingec...rs-wb-data.html

 

how long can the ex-pat...who has been living in thailand for quite a while and is immersed in the culture...expect to live?

[mpm 0]

Yeah, what I mean by everything getting to be the same. It's not there yet thank Jaweh!

 

.

Well done Jacko, youve started a good thread there mate, i must admit I love to listen to grumpy ex pats as im one of them, why this why that?? Ive lived hear now for some 10years and my bigest gripe is when your walking down any street in patts and the bhat bus drivers seem to think you want a taxi while your showing no interst in them at all, they insist on blowing there horn at you like you are looking for a cab but cant see them.. stupid fuckers, why dont someone tell them if one wants a cab one will look up raise a paw and catch thier attention. its called hailing a cab for pittys sake, imagine this practice in london every cabbie blowing his horn at every poor soul walking up the street!!

[Ergodyne 19]

I was on a Baht but a while ago, two older guys got on and one of them did nothing but moan about the driver slowing down and stopping, this carried on for almost half the length of second road, in the end i had to say something but got verbal abuse for it.

If people want or expect western standards, don't come here, if you want the Baht bus to not stop or slow down for customers make it private hire.

I find many things here annoying but try to remember that laws are very flexible and you have to take the rough with the smooth, if they rigidly enforced everything there would be no 'working girls' and it would be the same as the west, with so many restrictions it's almost impossible to just enjoy yourself. This 'freedom' is part of the reason we are here in the first place.

I felt sorry for the guy on the Baht bus, his life must be miserable, moaning about everything, lighten up, relax and enjoy the lifestyle here, laugh at the irony and and some of the stupidity.

I get really pissed off at motorbikes on the pavement, Police stopping people for not wearing a helmet, when they themselves are not wearing one. but then i think to myself why am i wound up, it's the way things are, just enjoy the good stuff and stop getting worked up about trivia.

 

BAH HUMBUG ! !

 

Go with the flow and savour this 'Disneyland' for adults.

[Bazle 1,500]

I'm only one-third expat but hope I am entitled to add to this thread.

 

Jacko uses the terms "I laughed at" and "I am amused by". I am far grumpier than this - I get really annoyed by a couple of things.

 

The first is the guys who think we want to see them prancing around on gogo stages, in particular, the ones who think we want to see their bodies. Examples of this are mentioned in this thread:

http://www.pattayatalk.com/forums/topic/55887-a-few-beers-in-the-second-walking-street/page__view__findpost__p__907162

 

The second is the groups of young(-ish) guys (sadly, most often British) who behave like out-of-control football/soccer fans.

[atlas2 4,329]

So Jacko....this thread is for the non-grumpy to find something to be grumpy about! Good idea!

 

 

In keeping with the topic and because of my great respect for you...............I get a touched miffed by all those 'Bored as fluck' threads on Secrets....I've never opened one it's their pure abundance. How can they be bored enough living here to contribute?......Having said that I'm over 1000 of pointless drivel posts on here so........

[MM 6,562]

One of my daily annoyances is groups of guys who walk 2,3, or 4 abreast in the road, rather than single file or 2 by 2.

They almost always come from the Indian subcontinent...worse yet is if they are holding hands.

 

I see them doing this on Pratumnak south of Marine Plaza, even when there are serviceable sidewalks for them to use.

 

 

They seem to be completely unaware that vehicular traffic is sharing the narrow roadway with them, and that cars have to sometimes cross the center line to avoid them.

 

I'm happy to say, I've accidentally clipped a few with my rear view mirror, usually on Soi Buakhao.

[Ergodyne 19]

One of my daily annoyances is groups of guys who walk 2,3, or 4 abreast in the road, rather than single file or 2 by 2.

They almost always come from the Indian subcontinent...worse yet is if they are holding hands.

 

I see them doing this on Pratumnak south of Marine Plaza, even when there are serviceable sidewalks for them to use.

 

 

They seem to be completely unaware that vehicular traffic is sharing the narrow roadway with them, and that cars have to sometimes cross the center line to avoid them.

 

I'm happy to say, I've accidentally clipped a few with my rear view mirror, usually on Soi Buakhao.

 

Glad to hear it Martin

[bratpack 91]

I think its hilarious when you here guys who hate the heat,dont like thai food,complain about the driving skills of thais,moan about the fucking smells in markets,call thais for everything,and they live here lol lol

[cannonball83204 78]

My biggest bitch is the touts that won't leave you alone, especially when you are trying to relax on the beach somewhere like Jomtien. I get so tired of saying " mai oh khrup" that I almost get lockjaw. I know they are only trying to make a living, but when I want to be left alone, I want to be left alone. Trying to read a book or take a nap doesn't happen most of the time because they keep coming up to sell their worthless little trinkets. If I want something to eat or drink I will call them over, but other than that I don't want to be bothered.

 

CB

[mrlasvegas 124]

My biggest bitch is the touts that won't leave you alone, especially when you are trying to relax on the beach somewhere like Jomtien. I get so tired of saying " mai oh khrup" that I almost get lockjaw. I know they are only trying to make a living, but when I want to be left alone, I want to be left alone. Trying to read a book or take a nap doesn't happen most of the time because they keep coming up to sell their worthless little trinkets. If I want something to eat or drink I will call them over, but other than that I don't want to be bothered.

 

CB

 

This used to be the practice in Bali as well. The local tourist police set up new rules. The downside of this is when I want a Wally's ice cream cone I have to walk to the paved area just off the beach. The vendors can't go any closer.

[jacko 8,822]

Quite a few posts moaning about moaners, fair enough, but keep the tongue in the cheek.

 

On Martin's example I was trying to pull over to park near the kerb recently, so that I could get out and the wife could take the truck home and this group of 4 indians were there discussing the price of coca cola or something right in the road. My residual good manners (nearly obliterated) held me off beeping at them... but in the end I had to. They looked at me and moved, then I recalled India, that is how it works there.

 

Farangs are often the source of Expat grumbles...some nutty old cunt on a motorcycle too big for him came around the bend on my side of the road last night and I am sure he yelled 'fuck you' as he dodged me.

 

I think tourists who accidently stumble into this thread can have a groan too regarding us 'know-it-all' Expats.

 

But weekends, fuckers come from Bangkok and drive like assholes, whizzing up yer inside and pulling into the 4m gap you left to the car infront, and pushing around the bend waiting the right turn signal, when everyone knows that is just for motorcycles to get to the front. And twats hurtling down 36 at a great speed flashing their headlights at you as if I can't fucking see them.

 

Tourists again, those people who stop an occupied baht bus heading towards WS and start discussing the price to go someplace, you just know he is going to turn up Soi Post-Office now!

[joekicker 53]

Sorry about flashing the lights at you jacko.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

heh. Just kidding. But Bangkok people in general do that. Reminds me of another one - turning on the flashing lights when it gets a little murky. Lovely wife and I refer to the emergency lights as the "rain lights" now -- even when they're used to go through a green light.

 

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[jacko 8,822]

Sorry about flashing the lights at you jacko.

Were you not the driver of that banged up Bentley on 7 early Saturday evening?

It looked like some cars had been playing dodgems and considering the heavy Pattaya bound traffic a weaver may have caused the mess, fortunately nobody looked hurt. I wound down the window as I maneuvered between the dented cars and suggested to the guy leaning on the Bentley that things were going to be expensive on that car.... then he did look hurt, or pained, or pissed.

 

Driving is an easy grumble here...... parking too.

[joekicker 53]

Were you not the driver of that banged up Bentley on 7 early Saturday evening?

 

Yes I were not. I've been called a lot of things in my misspent life, but never accused of car abuse. A Bentley is silly in Thailand, except maybe as an airport taxi for the Oriental Hotel, something like that. And other brands. There are "real" cars that run just as nicely. That's not an annoyance, people can buy what they want. But personal opinion is that it's kind of dumb to be caught with a dead Bentley and have to go to all the time and trouble of reviving it -- EVEN if the money means absolutely nothing to you.

 

If you absolutely have to have a Bentley, rent someone else's with a driver. Have an accident? Walk away.

 

.

[jacko 8,822]

Back onto grumbles..... and yet again it is traffic related.

 

Mini-bus/van drivers.....

 

Fucking huge great coaches blocking the whole road trying to do a U-Turn.

 

Falangs driving their truck with the window open, their elbow sticking out and loud, crap music blaring out going thump-thump-thump. Only cheap charlie idiot poseurs do that, shut the window and put the AC on you tight-wad.

Edited August 8, 2011 by jacko

[chris2004 67]

My biggest bitch is the touts that won't leave you alone, especially when you are trying to relax on the beach somewhere like Jomtien. I get so tired of saying " mai oh khrup" that I almost get lockjaw. I know they are only trying to make a living, but when I want to be left alone, I want to be left alone. Trying to read a book or take a nap doesn't happen most of the time because they keep coming up to sell their worthless little trinkets. If I want something to eat or drink I will call them over, but other than that I don't want to be bothered.

 

CB

 

This is one of my hates but even worse are those that try and sell you something while you are eating in a restaurant. I love Le Katai as a restaurant but most days i'm sat there trying to eat and some prat wants to sell me something WTF am i going to look through his crap while i'm half way through my steak. I'm surprised the restaurant owners don't stop it.

[Gary 4,119]

I drive from Loei down to Jomtien several times a year. What is it with the Toyota fortuner drivers needing to go faster than everyone else?

 

The highlight of one of my more recent trips was an asshole behind me driving a shiny white fortuner. He was swerving back and forth and blinking his lights. I was doing my normal 100 KPH. The fortuner windows were tinted so dark that I could hardly see the driver. I did pull over as far as I could and he passed me managing to run an oncoming car off the road. Ten or fifteen kilometers up the road, I saw something had happened. As I passed by I saw a shiny white fortuner off the road on its top. That was the best laugh I have had for quite a while.

 

I know it's not right to laugh at other peoples misfortune but sometime I just can't help it.

 

As far as the tourist ghettos, I do allow the tailor shop touts to irritate me more than they should. I DON'T want to shake their hand and I DON'T want to buy a suit, EVER again. Maybe the touts irritate me so much because during many of my working years I was required to dress in suits, sport jackets and ties like someone important (I wan't important). When I retired, I swore I'd never wear a suit and tie again as long as I lived. The local Vietnam Veterans Organization received a shit load of important people clothes. Maybe they hated them too but I was very pleased to be rid of then.

[Bullfrog 2,224]

What realy..REALLY pisses me off is when me and the missus are heading into town on a shopping trip and she tells me to hurry up....only to get to her Mother's house to sit there and wait 30 minutes whilst we wait for her to get ready as slowly as she bloody well likes..!!

 

Another time we pulled up at her Mother's house in the days when I had my little Vios...and they were sitting eating...what do they do?..thats it ...they cram themselves into the back of my poor little car..eat their food then fling their plates and scraps of food on the rear parcel shelf...

 

 

When they come around the house they sit on their motor cys and beep beep beep and beep and beep and BEEEEEEEEEP for us to open the gate...Its on rollers FFS ...Why cant they just push it open themselves...

 

Why do I put up with it?? Because I love my wife more than I hate them.....but its a close run thing sometimes...

[Bullfrog 2,224]

Another one......why are photos together so important for visas.?????.me and the missus don't carry a bloody camera around with us....We do however have stamps in our passports showing residency (for me) and a dependancy (for her) in 3 seperate countries covering 7 years..

 

Now...which is easier to fake...a couple of snapshots or residancy stamps in our passports...

 

Fcuk I am enjoying this thread...

[lovedog100 1,372]

I've kept away from this topic because I could write all day. I'm obviously grumpier than most.

 

#1 Street vendors that bother me in a bar or worse when I'm eating. Or the flower sellers, camera people that step in my way on walking street, like I'm going to change my mind after telling 10 of them no.

#2 The street vendors that have seen me every day for the last three years, still trying to sell me the same crap day after day.

#3 Being told that "food no good" or "farang can't eat spicy" when I order spicy Thai food. The menu clearly says spicy, and I can read.

#4 Thai's driving the wrong way on a one way street, or on the wrong side of the road. Worse, going the wrong way and on the wrong side, those usually are coming at me as I make a turn onto a one way road.

#5 Being charged more to enter a tourist attraction, than two Thai's are charged.

#6 Being flagged down by the BIB while driving, just because I'm farang.

#7 People that cross the street with their back to traffic.

#8 Fat sweaty farang walking around without a shirt.

#9 Arabs and Indians that walk three and four abreast in the street.

#10 Thai's that buy something in a 7-11 or minute mart, than stand in the doorway while opening the package, or reading the label.

#11 A baht bus driver, or motorbike taxi driver yelling "Taxi Taxi" at me from across the street, like I'm to stupid to see that they are a taxi driver.

#12 Watching a farang being gang beaten by 10 Thai's for some trivial reason, and being unable to help.

#13 Not being allowed to own land or a business in Thailand, even though a Thai can in my country.

#14 Being followed around by sales people in department stores, and every thing I look at, they tell me what it is. I already know that it's a TV, we have them in America also.

#15 Ordering a lady drink and the service girl points to herself, and says "me me".

#16 Indian tailors

 

As I said, it's a big list, and not really in order. What bothers me most, is which ever one of them I am dealing with at the moment.

[Bullfrog 2,224]

Bloody buggering bastard people that start to get in the lift whilst you are still trying to get out.........I am going to have to have a bottle of wine to calm down....