monkeyman

I hope that anyone who found the cash donated it to a good cause, preferably the Monkeyman Freedom From Thirst Fund.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to another helping of Pattaya patter as we await the arrival of the dreaded wet season, otherwise known as Songkran. Right, let’s get down to it. There was a bit of a panic the other week in Sattahip when a rubbish collector’s shed caught fire and it spread to 30 wooden houses and a whisky warehouse. Police attending the scene were relieved to report that there were no significant casualties as all the bottles of whisky had been successfully recovered from the charred remains of the village and its population. A couple of weeks ago, a German touris

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to another dollop of Pattaya prattle straight from the horse’s mouth…. well okay, the monkey’s mouth. Right, off we go. The story of the moment just has to be the new proposal by City Hall to extend the width of the entire length of Beach road by 18 metres and possibly make it two way. This innovative idea could be of great benefit as it would give motorists a choice of two traffic jams to get stuck in after they’ve enjoyed a day relaxing on the remaining six inches of beach. A couple of Wednesdays ago, a bloke turned up at Banglamung Police St

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome as we eat our bowls of Credit Crunchies and take a look at how Fun City is carrying on during this recession thingy. The month’s big news event in Pattaya was the opening of the magnificent new Central Festival shopping mall on Beach Road. People have been flocking from all over to witness this spectacular sight, one bar girl even describing it as the most impressive erection she’d ever witnessed - high praise indeed. Mind you, it’s not quite finished yet as they’ve still to attach the trunk and paint it white. A brand spanking new set of traffi

Personal experience, coupled with the current strength of the baht. I didn't think too much about the figure I used but I'd reckon it to be about right at the moment.

Greeting Monkeywatchers, and a Happy New Year to one and all (except for that bastard in the corner shop who short-changed me last week). Anyway, here we go again into another fun-packed year of merriment and mayhem. As you all know unless you haven’t been paying attention in class, Thailand has yet another new Prime Minister. As one Thai chap enthusiastically proclaimed, “We change our Prime Ministers as often as we change our underwear”. So that would be about once a year then. A Don’t Drink and Drive Parade was held on Beach Road just before Christmas to remind people of the perils

Doesn't look like much of a deal even at the discount rates.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, Merry Christmas and welcome as we speak to you from our bunker 500 feet below Bali Hai Pier as we watch events in the Land Of Smiles unfold. The biggest news of the month is that tourist arrivals to Bangkok airports dropped by an unseasonably large 100 per cent recently, even more than expected following the crackdown on Soi 6. This did not, of course, have any effect on tourism as for every tourist who couldn’t get into Thailand there was another who couldn’t get out. However, if you’re still apprehensive about making your next trip, we’ve heard that there are s

Very nice pictures, though there's been some staff changes since they were taken.

Nice to see you the other week when I dropped in with Tai. I'm very impressed with PBG. It's got to be Pattaya's biggest success story for some time.

Apologies for the gaffe. Now corrected.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to Loy Krathong as we all have fun floating our scrotes. Well, Pattaya’s still pretty quiet at the moment, apparently because the fear of being blown to buggery in the unrest around Bangkok has resulted in 80 per cent of Asian tourists deciding to stay away. This is believed to have caused Pattaya’s income from tourism to drop by a catastrophic two per cent. Things haven’t been helped by the fact that it’s been pissing down for the last fortnight, so if you’re planning a visit in the near future, make sure you get an umbrella. You can buy them f

I'll be there.

I'll have some of that. See you there.

Nice one Paul.

Now that wanker Blair's finally resigned, perhaps the Met will be allowed to do some policing again instead of spending all their time attending health and safety lectures and talks on diversity.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome as we once again drill into the crevices of Fun City and give them a good filling. Just relax and open wide. The big news of the last month was of course the resignation of Thai Prime Minister Samak Sundaravej after a court ruling that he had violated the constitution by presenting television cookery shows. Gordon Ramsay is reported to have gone into hiding. The recent political turmoil has also resulted in tourist numbers dropping by 70 per cent according to The Thai Tourism Services Association. They went on to outline several urgent actions tha

They were also determined to stamp out drugs and street crime. Nuff said?

Never liked silicone anyway.

Might provide some more lucrative targets for the muggers I suppose.

Adam Let me know when you've got some dates for your productions and I'll give them a plug in Monkeywatch.

For rock music, try Easyriders at the North end of 2nd Road near to Drinking Street.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome once more as we watch the sands of time having their deckchairs removed by Pattaya Council. Okay, on with the show. Police were recently called to South Pattaya to investigate reports of a bomb being found behind the Tamsamakee Temple. Explosives experts summoned to the scene confirmed that it was indeed a bomb, probably from the Indochina conflict of the 1940s, which had failed to detonate. The unexploded device has now been handed over to the military so they can locate the manufacturer and ask for their money back. On 10 August, 2,000 monk

They are now. Pete's fixed them.

Very good idea. All you need now is a printer who can spell Pattaya.