monkeyman

For rock music, try Easyriders at the North end of 2nd Road near to Drinking Street.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome once more as we watch the sands of time having their deckchairs removed by Pattaya Council. Okay, on with the show. Police were recently called to South Pattaya to investigate reports of a bomb being found behind the Tamsamakee Temple. Explosives experts summoned to the scene confirmed that it was indeed a bomb, probably from the Indochina conflict of the 1940s, which had failed to detonate. The unexploded device has now been handed over to the military so they can locate the manufacturer and ask for their money back. On 10 August, 2,000 monk

They are now. Pete's fixed them.

Very good idea. All you need now is a printer who can spell Pattaya.

Greeting Monkeywatchers, and welcome as we once more shine our torch up the rectum of Fun City and find…well, this. A Thai bloke was arrested the other Monday after being caught on CCTV stealing brass hose attachments to the value of 50,000 baht from the Royal Garden Plaza. When questioned by police, he explained that he needed the items to secure a length of hose to the inside of his boxer shorts as he was currently working as a Tom Jones impersonator in a local hotel. Walking Street has acquired a brand spanking new set of parking regulations, so now you can’t park on the left si

Me too. Sponge cake, innit?

Greeting Monkeywatchers, and welcome to this month’s look at the city where the sun of a beach is always waiting for you. We begin with a strange tale concerning the arrest in Pattaya Market last weekend of three men for impersonating monks. Well actually they really were monks, or at least they had been monks until three days before when they were defrocked and became ex-monks, so when they were arrested they weren’t monks anymore so they were in fact charged with pretending to be the monks they’d previously been. Well, that’s that cleared up then. The Ruskies have announced that the

So kids have prior memory associated with dolphins? Weirdos.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to Pattaya midsummer madness as the March Hare disappears into his favourite orifice. Let us go forth and do likewise. Police arrested a young Thai chappie the other Thursday morning after he nicked a fire truck and crashed it into an unsuspecting tree. He told the arresting officers that he only did it because he wanted to be on television and it was better than auditioning for American Idol. It probably required more talent as well. Twenty street vendors were arrested on Walking Street last weekend following alleged complaints by tourists about

Nice one Ricky. Keep things nice and dirty.

Best suggestion I can make is that you carry on where David left off. I think he'd got it pretty well sorted.

Dirty little git.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to our Second Anniversary Edition in another alcohol-free month from Pattaya Lite. The other night, a naked Korean bloke was caught wandering around the streets of Pattaya. He was reported to have a bottle of sun tan lotion and a chrome whistle tied to his dick. On being arrested, he allegedly told police that he’d been to a fancy dress party as Dongtan Police Station. The closing stages of the battle to be the new Mayor of Pattaya took a strange turn when one of the candidates set up a platform in Walking Street at 3am and started spouting off hi

Yep, much better than Red Ken.

Only one number to vote for...

Looks like a winner all the way. Count me in.

What's the problem? Sounds like authentic British pub grub to me.

So now we know what Lam Morrison gets up to during the day.

The interiors of the 747s have been revamped and are now the same as the 777s.

You wouldn't be far wrong.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, and welcome to another slice of Pattaya pizza with extra cheese. Well, the 2am closing directive is still with us. The Interior Ministry has decided that closing everything down at this time is the way to reduce crime, though we’re not entirely convinced that the best way to make life more difficult for criminals is to switch off all the city’s lights at the earliest opportunity. Seems that Pattaya City Council aren’t convinced either, as they’ve passed a unanimous resolution to extend closing times to 4am and have submitted it to the Interior Ministry for conside

It's three years old now and is a nice place to stay, though a little pricey.

Usually random photos that look like they may have a potential gag in them. The blurb comes later.

I do it because there may be a queue at the airport, and I don't do queues.