monkeyman

Nam's gets the thumbs up from me also.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap to you all, and welcome to this month’s disease ridden edition. Masks on and off we go. The big story at the moment is of course the spreading of the Woohoo Flu to Thailand. The authorities have issued various guidelines in an attempt to keep holidaymakers safe, such as wear a mask, keep away from wild animals and if you see a Chinese tourist, shoot first and ask questions later. Pattaya Hospital has announced that is now fully equipped to deal with the virus – they’ve just received a consignment of coffins and body bags. The Thai governme

STOP PRESS: Party Girlz has just reopened so the bar news is already out of date. Bastards.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for following us into our 15th year, and welcome to the year 2563. Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun? Well, the plastic bag ban has come into force in Thailand and people are coming up with all kinds of weird and wonderful receptacles to put their shopping in. Bags for life are also available if required, but from the look of them they wouldn’t even last long enough for the life of a suicide bomber, though that has yet to be put to the test. A Turkish restaurant in Central Pattaya burned to the ground on New Year’s Day. Foul play is

It rested in peace from the day it opened.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, a very Merry Christmas to one and all, and welcome to the last of this year’s peeks into the crevices of Slob City. Let the festivities commence. A new German documentary has done a proper hatchet job on Pattaya, reporting that the place is about as safe as Chicago was in the 1920s with fraud, scams, muggings, bag snatchings and assaults happening on an hourly basis. The local police rose to the challenge immediately by ordering a crackdown on nudity in Go Go bars. And if that wasn’t enough, there have also been reports that pollution in Bangkok has risen

Anybody seen "Don't Look Now"?

Not been in myself, but my understanding is that it isn't "hands-on" like Crazy House was and so isn't really the replacement that some may have been hoping for. Doesn't mean it isn't worth a visit of course.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap once more, and welcome to this month’s Chinese special edition. Well actually there’s other stuff as well. There’s been some discussion about all the crap Chinese goods being sold in Pattaya. We heard a story about a Thai bloke who plugged in his new Chinese-made soldering iron and it immediately blew out all the street lights and melted the fillings in his teeth. Well, what the hell, this is how the Japanese started and they eventually got it right. Not much consolation to soldering iron owners though, and probably even less to the Thai navy who’ve

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for coming along, and welcome to this month’s “What’s On in Stinking Pig City.” Apparently there’s a sign inside Hooters Pattaya that says “Our staff aren’t romantically interested in you.” Well Hooters, just for the record, we aren’t romantically interested in them either. Sod the flowers and chocolates, just lie back and think of Thailand, girls. One of the Russian bars on Walking Street has introduced a new concept outside their premises – hello boys. Not sure what kind of punters they think this will attract, but it isn’t likely to be anyb

Probably a lot more than they realize.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for your valued patronage, and welcome to this month’s surprisingly stinking pigless edition (we’ll make up for it next month though.) It’s looking increasingly likely that 4am closing in Pattaya will be approved before very long. It’s also been suggested that the best place to pilot the plan would be Walking Street. Well actually fellas, Walking Street has been piloting the plan for the last 20 years or so and it seems to have worked okay up to now. The Thai Tourism Ministry have put out an official statement informing the world that touris

My Cousin Vinny

The old Angelwitch link...

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for another month, and welcome to more barmy banter from the pits of Patts. Lock me in and throw the key away. An investigation into allegations that fake police have been extorting money from people for possession of E-cigarettes has been halted after it was discovered that the police carrying out the investigation were fake as well - as were the police who made the discovery. Things are rarely what they seem in Pattaya. Pattaya officials have now installed a sign at the Tien Beach Bridge on Koh Larn to warn people of its imminent collapse. U

Not a snappy dresser like Corbyn then.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, core coon crap for paying another visit, and welcome to more mayhem from the streets of shame (as in “shame everywhere isn’t like this.”) Off we go. Pattaya is still trying to find a way to solve its flooding problems but thinks it may have come up with the solution – drains. There is a bit more to it, as the plan is to have separate pipes for sewage and storm water, the former going to the sewage treatment plant and the latter directly into the sea. They plan to reinforce this by educating the locals to not chuck flood water down the toilet or shit in the storm

Apologies to "Confused". This was a sequel to post #2.

Selfish brown swines. If they don't want to be treated like shit they should get jobs with EVA Air(?)

Strike over. Flights resume July 10. Full service by the end of the month.

Greetings Monkeywatchers, showaddy crap for another month, and welcome to our latest update from the City of You Couldn’t Make It Up. Here we go. The much publicised Pattaya International Fireworks Festival at the end of last month didn’t go quite according to plan. Well it did for a couple of minutes, then it started pissing down and everybody buggered off home. It did eventually recommence a couple of hours later, when it was watched by two passers-by and a small dog. For music lovers there was also a rock band playing, featuring a vocalist who sounded like a cat sliding down a black

Selfish yellow swines. If they don't want to be treated like shit they should get jobs in Go Go Bars.

Go for Sabai Wing. Same location but newer and better rooms. You can also have a walk-in shower.

The two music bars are just a short distance down the road from the top of Soi 2.

Apologies for not getting that you got it.