Big_Brian

Blocked in the UK for copywrite reasons.

These are really geared for Brits, others may miss some of them, but I'm sure someone will translate if asked. A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time..... I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits. I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it... I thought to myself, this lot have lost the plot!! A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said.... 'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.' Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield . 3.1415927 dead Went around to a friends house today. His wife was sat there with their newborn baby. She asked if I’d like to wind it.... I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead. Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried. "What's the matter?" I asked. "I've got the big C," he said. "What, cancer?" "No, dyslexia." I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move. A Scottish paedophile has raised a dispute with eBay. He claims that the Wii GameBoy he received isn't what he was expecting. I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it! The Prime Minister, David Cameron, has announced that he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week, all the forms will be printed in English. I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself ‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown’. On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking Doctor’ – I thought, 'What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?' The lead actor in the local pantomime, Aladdin, was homosexually abused on stage last night. To be fair the audience did try to warn him…

It's just not cricket. Whip his bails off immediately.

Was there for the last 2 days in '09. Not for me.

How will they fit in, they're mostly about 7ft tall.

Remember that cleaners will have set working hours. If you're still in the loom when they go home that's that really.

"The mayor said that there would be no change to bar closing times before 2012, but we were very disappointed to find that this was still the case at 2100, a full 48 minutes later." OK, any just how do you clean diet coke off of a keyboard?

He was on TV again tonight. Next stop 40Baht/GBP

Professional, no. But you left with a smile on your face. For a Thai that means the job was done well. That it went tits up later doesn't affect that.

Thanks, I'll give them a go next trip. Recommendations are always better than just renting from a random firm - a website is a professional touch too.

I aim for 4-5 hours. I'd rather be bored at an airport than chewing my fingernails to the elbow on a late train. I do live 200+ miles from Heathrow/Gatwick though, if I was closer and less could go wrong, I'd leave later.

It's been around for a while. Seems to be like a pusher giving you that first taste free. If you want to see the rest of the series, or more from that authors universe, you have to buy books. I'm not knocking it though, I downloaded them all and read a lot of them - they used to be available on a single CD that was included in some new books and could be downloaded as well. These were probably my first experiences with eBooks and I'm converted now - I graduated from reading on my laptop, to a Sony 505 reader to a Kindle DXG, which is excellent. No more dead trees for me.

We had sunshine just last year, third of August it was, afternoon. I remember it well.

The first "hansom man".

Isn't this how the toenails started?

Bought one a couple of months back. Excellent results, though I haven't really used it in anger yet. Has far more settings than I'll ever use, I think that "intelligent auto" will see most use. Videos in low light look OK (for a still camera), so should be good for bars.

Americans scare me. Not even the most radical Moslem country could come up with this.

If they give condoms, there's no need for a withdrawal.

A classic.

Sexpat, When your experiences stop being so raw, please consider posting what want wrong upcountry. You might help stop one of us making the same mistakes.

Firefox

The really, really important thing is that it's over by the 23rd. 'cos that's when I get there.

Agreed. I was in Pattaya at the time of the Tsunami. Many of the farrang bars were getting up collections to help. I asked several BGs if the Thais were getting up collections as well and always got the same response; a blank look followed by "not my family, their family help them". They just didn't understand why we wanted to help, they didn't seem to have the concept at all.

That's a good trick - there hasn't been an Inland Revenue for over 5 years.

I've said before; open out the windows and put a drinking terrace out there, it could be a good daytime drinking spot.