Kiss Food & Drink on 2nd Road

[Evil Penevil 7,628]

(pic from the Internet)

In the words of Richard Nixon, let me make on thing perfectly clear: I ate at Kiss Food & Drink under protest. I was supposed to have had dinner with a friend and his Thai companion at a different restaurant near Kiss, but she didn't see anything on the menu she liked and asked to eat at Kiss. I suggested other options, farang and Thai, that were close by, but she insisted on Kiss. At the urging of my friend and for the sake of harmony, I agreed to eat there for the first time in about five years.

To cut to the chase: It was stunningly undistinguished food. Not good, not bad, just mediocre. As an overall dining experience, it was below average due to the heat, fumes and noise of Kiss' exposed location at the corner of 2nd Road and Soi Diana. The poor personal hygiene and even worse manners of some of Kiss' customers also contributed to the unpleasantness. The sole mitigating factor would be the low price, but I'd happily pay more to avoid getting Kissed in this fashion.

I hope it is at least another five years before my next meal at Kiss.

I took some menu pages from Kiss' Facebook site to illustrate what's available. These FB pages aren't up to date and prices are five to 20 baht higher at Kiss, depending on the dish.

Kiss is one of the oldest restaurants in Pattaya, having opened in the 1980s. It's also probably the best known restaurant among foreign tourists and residents. I doubt there are many farang visitors to the city who haven't been there. Maybe they have never gone back because much better food is available nearby at similar prices, but just about everyone has tried Kiss at least once.

And however many people don't go to Kiss any longer, hundreds still do, whether for the first or 50th time. It remains a busy place. Often when I have passed by, all seats under the roof were taken as well as at the long outdoor table. A convenient location, cheap prices and 24/7 hours of operation are probably the main reasons for Kiss' fame. It couldn't possibly be the food as it's average at best, horrible at worst. However, many, many would disagree with me. On Tripadvisor, Kiss ranks 55th out of 853 reviewed restaurants in Pattaya. Of the 566 individual reviews, 20% rank Kiss as "Excellent" and 46% rate it "Very Good." That's TWO THIRDS of the reviewers who consider Kiss "Very Good" or better.

When Kiss opened in the 1980s, it had been a decent place for a quick and cheap meal. Over the years, the quality of its food has declined as it struggles to keep its prices low. The Cheap Charlie segment of the market is very fickle. It will go anywhere the prices at the moment are lowest and the portions largest . The quality and taste of the food is not important. It's all about paying as little as possible and getting a lot: a big bowl of noodle soup or plate of spaghetti is culinary ecstasy for the CCs, with a big bucket of fried chicken the equivalent of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

There's one hungry little fellow who writes reports for the punter boards and FB groups that try to convey a semblance of restaurant reviews. Unfortunately, he could put everything he knows about food in a thimble and still have room for his own sausage. What he can do is wax lyrical about the amount of food on his plate. His readers are probably the type of customer who would rate the quality of the food at Kiss as "excellent."

But given the CC preference for heaping plates, it's worth noting that portions aren't large at Kiss. The restaurant has become ensnared in a Catch-22 situation: to earn a profit and stay in business, Kiss must either raise prices or reduce costs by serving smaller portions. Here's the paradox: doing either will cost Kiss customers, while doing neither puts the entire business at risk. There's no easy way out of that one.

I'm not going to spend too much time on the meals we had. As I stated, the food was average but cheap. What more needs to be said? I did find out why my friend's companion had wanted so much to eat at Kiss.

She really likes cured salmon and she knew Kiss had it on the menu. This was the "salmon salad" she ordered.

For her main dish she had a bowl of tom yum goong.

My friend had the "garden salad" as his starter ...

... followed by what was called Norwegian salmon on the menu

...with Hollandaise sauce

I ordered the beef with kale in oyster sauce for 50 baht...

... as well as the staple egg dish kai jeow , usually called a Thai-style omelet for want of a better term in English. It cost 80 baht.

I don't recall how much my friends' meals were, but I believe both the salmon dishes cost around 190 baht each, while the soup and garden salad were about 100 baht each. My food totaled 130 baht and with a Singha, bottle of water and tip, it cost me 250 baht

Bottom line: Don't bother with Kiss; it's not worth your time or your money. Walk a couple of minutes from Kiss in any direction- north, south, east or west- and you'll come across better places to eat. Don't accept mediocre meals when much better food can be just as easily had for about the same money.

Evil

There's one incident from Kiss that doesn't have anything to do with the above review, but I want to share it anyway. Back in 2010 and 2011, the homeless German guy in the picture used to hang out in the LK Metro area.

I had a conversation with the poor guy in mid-September, 2011. I saw him sitting near the corner of Soi Diana and Second Road, close to Kiss. He looked terrible - filthy, in rags and clearly malnourished, perhaps even starving. You can see it in the pictures. No body fat and very little muscle on his arms or legs, His body was eating itself. The foot without the sandal was inflamed and swollen. I'm sure if it went untreated it would have become gangrenous. I had tried approaching him before, but he had been incoherent those days.

 

He looked so bad I felt I had to try to do something. Not knowing what to say, I just asked him in English, "You OK, man?" He nodded yes with a very unconcerned facial expression, then asked me if I knew of a hotel with a dinner buffet. That took me aback, but I answered without letting my jaw drop. I said I didn't, but I'd be happy to get him some take-away food at Kiss. He declined and said the food at Kiss was "too bad." He wanted a buffet! He wasn't begging, but he sure was choosing.

 

I offered him 100 baht to get food later, but he answered he didn't need it. He said he liked my shirt - I tend to wear loud print shirts - and I offered to get him one just like it. Again, he refused. I offered food or money one more time, but he repeated he didn't need it.

 

On one level, this is quite humorous: a raggedy homeless man refusing food at Kiss because of its poor quality. But on another level, it's tragic and not at all funny. For a man in his condition to refuse food is a clear indication he had become so delusional he was a threat to himself. He needed to be institutionalized at least in the short run, but that wouldn't happen in Pattaya. A few weeks later, after many, many complaints, the police did pick him up and I heard he was deported back to Germany where he would receive appropriate care. I still wonder how things turned out for him and if he's still choosy about his food.

Edited September 18, 2017 by Evil Penevil

[midlifecrisis 4,048]

The guy clearly needed to be sent home. He looked terrible.

 

Not a fan of Kiss. Ate there maybe twice as it was close to where I stayed.

Edited September 18, 2017 by midlifecrisis

[neilri2001 42]

I've probably eaten at least once per trip at Kiss for the past 25 years, usually on the way back to my hotel after a session. Never had a great meal there but never had a truly awful one either. Average food at modest prices and not a bad place to people watch

[js007 795]

For all the times I've walked past Kiss, I've never stopped to eat. They are always at least halfway busy, though.

[Harvey 249]

Evil:

 

Like you, I eat at KISS at the urging of my companion for the night. I like it for its hours -- nothing like a middle of the night Thai meail to try and wear off the drunkedness. It's also close to the LK Renaissance (now called the LK Residence). I've come to enjoy a bowl of Tom Yum Goong and some pork with chili and basil over rice.

 

Remember that one place that never closed when you were in high school and college -- your go-to place where you'd eat off off your incoming hangover. It may have been IHOP or Denny's. For my friends, it was a 24-hour Chinese restaurant.

 

Kiss is like that now for me. Wouldn't go there on purpose, but if me and the Thai girl are a little mow, it fits the bill.

 

(I really don't like any of their falang food. Don't let the waiters talk you into the overpriced and lack-of-quality steak dinner. That sucks.

[jacko 8,813]

I too last ate there some years ago and again at the behest of a Thai woman.

Walking back to my hotel down 2nd Rd my barfine insisted 3am was a mealtime... when all I wanted was to do the deed and get to sleep!

 

The Thai omelette was also my choice, who can mess that up!

 

Could do worse, perhaps the nearby Apex or Lek breakfast buffets!

Edited September 18, 2017 by jacko

[midlifecrisis 4,048]

I too last ate there some years ago and again at the behest of a Thai woman.

Walking back to my hotel down 2nd Rd my barfine insisted 3am was a mealtime... when all I wanted was to do the deed and get to sleep!

 

The Thai omelette was also my choice, who can mess that up!

 

Could do worse, perhaps the nearby Apex or Lek breakfast buffets!

 

But then you would have had to stay up later, maybe still libido deprived.

[short 215]

There is a guy that walks around hunched over everywhere in my town that looks as bad as that guy. He is seen on the side of the road often and everyone knows of him. I asked the police one day if the guy was dangerous and they said he wasn't. The guy never asked anyone for money and many people would just stop him and give him money.

 

One day I had stopped at a gas station when it was raining. He came up to me and asked if I would give him a ride home. Turns out that he lives in a very nice 3000 sq foot house on a full acre of land with his brother that was just as crazy as him.

[midlifecrisis 4,048]

There is a guy that walks around hunched over everywhere in my town that looks as bad as that guy. He is seen on the side of the road often and everyone knows of him. I asked the police one day if the guy was dangerous and they said he wasn't. The guy never asked anyone for money and many people would just stop him and give him money.

 

One day I had stopped at a gas station when it was raining. He came up to me and asked if I would give him a ride home. Turns out that he lives in a very nice 3000 sq foot house on a full acre of land with his brother that was just as crazy as him.

 

There are street panhandlers who do it as a second career. This guy though seems like a real looney tune. I wonder if his brother was also deported.

 

I don't enable street people. One time a large family group I was part of had a nice lunch in SF and we got dogie bags for untouched food. On the way out we offered food to a homeless man who declined it and wanted money.

 

The one time I gave money was 5 dollars to a guy on the median with a sign that said "I won't lie to you. I need a beer!"

Edited September 19, 2017 by midlifecrisis

[short 215]

 

"There are street panhandlers who do it as a second career. This guy though seems like a real looney tune. I wonder if his brother was also deported."

 

This was in the states. In the sticks here there are no sidewalks. The police gave him a reflective jacket to try to keep him from being ran over.

 

 

 

[Bushcraft 2,579]

Haven't been to Kiss on 2nd Road for at 6 years, but occasionally use the one in Naklua because the GF and her kids are quite happy to eat there. Agree that the food is inexpensive but mediocre at best, but a lot of Thai girls like it. The farang meals are definitely not worth ordering - the french fries are ok but meat tends to be of low quality reflecting the price.

[ZARIS 20]

possibly be the food as it's average at best, horrible at worst. However, many, many would disagree with me. On Tripadvisor, Kiss ranks 55th out of 853 reviewed restaurants in Pattaya. Of the 566 individual reviews, 20% rank Kiss as "Excellent" and 46% rate it "Very Good." That's TWO THIRDS of the reviewers who consider Kiss "Very Good" or better.

 

Since my most recent trip to Thailand I have a new theory on food reviews. For some reason people tend to rave about various restaurants as being "incredible" , whilst they are on holiday.In fact, back in their own country the same restaurants would barely rate average.

 

In Pattaya, unless you are paying big dollar, almost none of these restaurants would survive 3 months in Sydney. Service, food quality, every level is ordinary or worse.

 

I would rate Kiss as borderline dreadful. I have only eaten there twice and would rate it 2/10.Looking around at other tables, I didn't see any diner enthusiasm.

If Kiss rates 55/853 I shudder to think what number 853 is like.

[Firepole 181]

KISS as a last resort. Over the years I've only eaten there twice and I think that may have been as a result of a bizarre need to have diarrhea. All kidding aside, with the mixed reviews I'd read, and the high volume of people eating there 24/7, I had to try it to form my own opinion.

 

Both times I noted that the fryer oil tasted OLD. Ancient really. I'm guessing they filled the fryolator when they opened in the 80's and, without ever changing it, just kept adding oil as needed. The food, overall, was substandard even for the price. There are other places to get higher quality eats for about the same price.

 

I think the main reason people keep coming back is it's familiar and always open. An old stand-by. Kinda like the fat broad who you don't want to date but, hey, once and awhile, when it's 4am and you're drunk.....

 

With it's location, if they increased the food quality a bit, and its price accordingly, they'd make a killing. But, for as long as it's been there, they must know what they're doing and, most likely, ARE making a killing.

For me, I'll pass unless I'm unable to secure reservations at a fancy place like McDonald's or Burger King.

[Idefix 2,275]

Not good, not bad, just mediocre.

Perfect summary of Kiss Food.

They have a great location, and it's probably the only reason why they are still successful.

[cbrib 354]

Kiss is ok to fill a hole and push a turd. People talk about how cheap the prices but i prefer places like Tin Cup or other "aharn dtam sang" spots. If i see Kiss and am hungry sometimes i walk up soi Diana to the Diana Dragon, a little pricier but better food and menu.

[nkped 1,208]

I ate at the Kiss outlet in the Rompho market in Jomtien once. It was passable food (high side of mediocre) and a slightly better physical setup. I can do better with a shorter walk.

[wacmedia 277]

Hi,

 

The popularity of this place escapes me. Still, each to their own, and the Thai girls seem to like it.

[flashkiwi 24]

i passed it everyday on my last trip staying at Areca,Kiss always busy, i tried it once, cheap and very basic food, had most of

my lunches at coffee club, a bit pricey but good food.

[capdagde 1,954]

Evil eats at Kiss? Shock, horror, probe! A must-read! As I expected....

[midlifecrisis 4,048]

i passed it everyday on my last trip staying at Areca,Kiss always busy, i tried it once, cheap and very basic food, had most of

my lunches at coffee club, a bit pricey but good food.

 

Yes busy day and night. An inexpensive option to getting some nutrition.

[gs joe 1,776]

Perfect summary of Kiss Food.

They have a great location, and it's probably the only reason why they are still successful.

 

There's one on the dark side soi Siam its stood the test of time ,

why I don't know , it's. The Thai equivalent to the UKs little Chef

[flashkiwi 24]

 

Yes busy day and night. An inexpensive option to getting some nutrition.

Totally agree, for the price the food is fine, if you are on a budget and your taste buds don't mind, the food will keep you alive i think.

[LBJ 533]

I hate to say it but there's more tomatoes on that garden salad then I get here.

[KOJO 96]

I ate there once 8-9 years ago, was shit food AND service, but is a great place to "people watch", which I love to do ! Although I have to say your picture's are very good quality, almost makes the food LOOK edible ! HA! HA! HA!

[midlifecrisis 4,048]

I ate there once 8-9 years ago, was shit food AND service, but is a great place to "people watch", which I love to do ! Although I have to say your picture's are very good quality, almost makes the food LOOK edible ! HA! HA! HA!

 

It is indeed a great people watching place but even in that there are better.